Title: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: Martin TK on July 04, 2010, 07:35:31 PM
Post by: Martin TK on July 04, 2010, 07:35:31 PM
Hello all,
I wanted to introduce myself a bit before jumping right into the conversations. For what it is worth, I am 48 years old, I am a college educated, freethinker (atheist) who has worked in higher education for over 25 years.
I grew up in South Carolina, my parents were devout Methodists, and I was forcefully indoctrinated into the Christian cult from birth. As my mother used to say, however, I was always a bit of dissident, questioning EVERYTHING, even my own parents' belief system. Oh, sure as a little kid, I bought into the whole god myth, and why not? I was a kid, having a big brother, a father figure, and a protector was comforting, but around ten I started to read, a lot, and one of the things I read was the bible, cover to cover. The parts I could understand scared the proverbial hell out of me, dashing of children against the rocks, the penalties for disobeying one's parents, the jealous and vengeful god, all served as a kind of launching point for my disbelief. Sure, I tried to be good and obey my parents' religion, I went to church until I was in college, I even attended a Methodist College, and my parents were thrilled at that. Little did they realize that by attending this college and being required to take religion, would solidify my disbelief in any gods, and my gentle awakening into atheism.
My atheism, however, had another catalyst, the fact that I fell in love with a Southern Baptist's Daughter. Now, if you think Methodists are fanatical in any way at all, Southern Baptists are like Christians on god crack. Three times a week she was forced to go to church, regardless of illness or any other social or school obligations. Once, she had an ovarian cyst burst in the middle of Sunday services and her mother came over to her, lying on a stretcher about to be taken by ambulance to the hospital, where she would have to undergo emergency surgery for bleeding, and said, "You better be really sick to have disrupted church today." I was shocked, I was outraged, I was stunned, and most of all it opened my eyes to the fanaticism of faith in a way I had not seen before.
Well, I married this girl, and we reared two wonderful children in a home that was NOT religious at all. In fact, even before I knew the likes of Barker and Dawkins, I was already teaching my children to be freethinkers. My wife and often talked about not indoctrinating our children into any religion while they were young. Oh sure they were exposed to church, hard not to be when your father-in-law is a minister, but that was balanced by an understanding that faith is personal and NOT required in order to be a good person. We read stories about science and history to our children at bedtime, not bible stories like so many of our friends did. My children were taught to question everything, respect nature, respect human life, and most of all to be independent.
My ex-wife and I divorced as the children grew up, but our teachings held firm, our children were loved greatly, taught well, and given all they needed to become independent adults, free from the shackles of religious dogma or ideology. Today, both of my sons serve in the US military, and one married a woman who is devout and therefore he defers to her religion, but I am sure he is NOT a believer and my youngest son is a devout atheist, just like his father. After the divorce, my ex-wife fell easily back into the teachings of her youth, but I seriously doubt she truly believes, it is a belief in belief she holds on to.
Anyway, to keep a long story as short as possible. I am the ONLY member of my family, mother, father, brothers, and sister, who is an atheist. To them I have no morals, to them I might as well be dead. They refuse to speak to me, to have any contact with me in any way at all, and I'm pretty much fine with it, really. My son's wife is convinced I am EVIL, and refuses to let me see my grandchildren out of fear that I might, what, eat them? Not sure about that, but again, while it is troublesome, I am at peace with their decision. I reared my children to be independent, to be able to go off and make a life for themselves, they do not owe me anything, and one day they, perhaps, will come to understand the depths of my love, but until then, I live life to the fullest, LOVE my new wife, who is also an atheist, and continue to work with students at the university level.
I suppose the saddest part of all of my story is that the only people really suffering are those who have turned away from me. I am content in my life, with my wife, and with my atheist/humanist way of thinking. My son, his wife, and their children will all be the worse off for not accepting the love, the wisdom, and the joy that I have for them and for life. My youngest son is off doing his own thing, but I know in time he will come home to me, he will seek out his father and we will rekindle our relationship on a new level. If not, then I will live on, I will impart my experience to others, and I will die a happy man. I will not allow myself to live with regrets, nor will I be dragged down by religious dogma. Today, I am free, free to think of the universe as a wonderous place, free to see the good in mankind from a humanist perspective, and free to love without the restrictions of religon. How sad that there are those who can not love me because their religion will not allow them to. How sad indeed.
I wanted to introduce myself a bit before jumping right into the conversations. For what it is worth, I am 48 years old, I am a college educated, freethinker (atheist) who has worked in higher education for over 25 years.
I grew up in South Carolina, my parents were devout Methodists, and I was forcefully indoctrinated into the Christian cult from birth. As my mother used to say, however, I was always a bit of dissident, questioning EVERYTHING, even my own parents' belief system. Oh, sure as a little kid, I bought into the whole god myth, and why not? I was a kid, having a big brother, a father figure, and a protector was comforting, but around ten I started to read, a lot, and one of the things I read was the bible, cover to cover. The parts I could understand scared the proverbial hell out of me, dashing of children against the rocks, the penalties for disobeying one's parents, the jealous and vengeful god, all served as a kind of launching point for my disbelief. Sure, I tried to be good and obey my parents' religion, I went to church until I was in college, I even attended a Methodist College, and my parents were thrilled at that. Little did they realize that by attending this college and being required to take religion, would solidify my disbelief in any gods, and my gentle awakening into atheism.
My atheism, however, had another catalyst, the fact that I fell in love with a Southern Baptist's Daughter. Now, if you think Methodists are fanatical in any way at all, Southern Baptists are like Christians on god crack. Three times a week she was forced to go to church, regardless of illness or any other social or school obligations. Once, she had an ovarian cyst burst in the middle of Sunday services and her mother came over to her, lying on a stretcher about to be taken by ambulance to the hospital, where she would have to undergo emergency surgery for bleeding, and said, "You better be really sick to have disrupted church today." I was shocked, I was outraged, I was stunned, and most of all it opened my eyes to the fanaticism of faith in a way I had not seen before.
Well, I married this girl, and we reared two wonderful children in a home that was NOT religious at all. In fact, even before I knew the likes of Barker and Dawkins, I was already teaching my children to be freethinkers. My wife and often talked about not indoctrinating our children into any religion while they were young. Oh sure they were exposed to church, hard not to be when your father-in-law is a minister, but that was balanced by an understanding that faith is personal and NOT required in order to be a good person. We read stories about science and history to our children at bedtime, not bible stories like so many of our friends did. My children were taught to question everything, respect nature, respect human life, and most of all to be independent.
My ex-wife and I divorced as the children grew up, but our teachings held firm, our children were loved greatly, taught well, and given all they needed to become independent adults, free from the shackles of religious dogma or ideology. Today, both of my sons serve in the US military, and one married a woman who is devout and therefore he defers to her religion, but I am sure he is NOT a believer and my youngest son is a devout atheist, just like his father. After the divorce, my ex-wife fell easily back into the teachings of her youth, but I seriously doubt she truly believes, it is a belief in belief she holds on to.
Anyway, to keep a long story as short as possible. I am the ONLY member of my family, mother, father, brothers, and sister, who is an atheist. To them I have no morals, to them I might as well be dead. They refuse to speak to me, to have any contact with me in any way at all, and I'm pretty much fine with it, really. My son's wife is convinced I am EVIL, and refuses to let me see my grandchildren out of fear that I might, what, eat them? Not sure about that, but again, while it is troublesome, I am at peace with their decision. I reared my children to be independent, to be able to go off and make a life for themselves, they do not owe me anything, and one day they, perhaps, will come to understand the depths of my love, but until then, I live life to the fullest, LOVE my new wife, who is also an atheist, and continue to work with students at the university level.
I suppose the saddest part of all of my story is that the only people really suffering are those who have turned away from me. I am content in my life, with my wife, and with my atheist/humanist way of thinking. My son, his wife, and their children will all be the worse off for not accepting the love, the wisdom, and the joy that I have for them and for life. My youngest son is off doing his own thing, but I know in time he will come home to me, he will seek out his father and we will rekindle our relationship on a new level. If not, then I will live on, I will impart my experience to others, and I will die a happy man. I will not allow myself to live with regrets, nor will I be dragged down by religious dogma. Today, I am free, free to think of the universe as a wonderous place, free to see the good in mankind from a humanist perspective, and free to love without the restrictions of religon. How sad that there are those who can not love me because their religion will not allow them to. How sad indeed.
Title: Re: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: Tank on July 04, 2010, 09:06:53 PM
Post by: Tank on July 04, 2010, 09:06:53 PM
Hi
If you talk like you post, does any body ever get a word in edge wise?
Welcome aboard!
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What's on your mind today? (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8597#p8597) The general chit chat thread.
Somewhere to discuss the fear of dying. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=70041#p70041) Many ex-theists have to come to terms with death, this is a place to discuss this issue.
How to tell your family you are an atheist. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=69387#p69387) Some suggestions about how to deal with this thorny issue.
Parenting Beyond Belief. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewforum.php?f=44) The forum for discussing how to raise your children 'Faith Free'.
.
If you talk like you post, does any body ever get a word in edge wise?
Welcome aboard!
Useful links for new members
Mission Statement (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/portal.php) Why this place is here.
Forum Rules (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=18210#p18210) More of a set of guidelines really, upset Whitney (She who must be obeyed) and you'll find the exit door very quickly!
How do I use the quote feature? (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=3442#p3442) If you are new to forums this is an important feature to understand. The maximum number of nested quotes is 3.
Help desk. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewforum.php?f=39) Any problems this is where to ask them.
What's on your mind today? (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=8597#p8597) The general chit chat thread.
Somewhere to discuss the fear of dying. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=70041#p70041) Many ex-theists have to come to terms with death, this is a place to discuss this issue.
How to tell your family you are an atheist. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=69387#p69387) Some suggestions about how to deal with this thorny issue.
Parenting Beyond Belief. (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/viewforum.php?f=44) The forum for discussing how to raise your children 'Faith Free'.
.
Title: Re: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: The Black Jester on July 04, 2010, 09:12:39 PM
Post by: The Black Jester on July 04, 2010, 09:12:39 PM
Great story. I'm sorry for the divisions in your family. Welcome to the forum! 
Title: Re: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: Martin TK on July 05, 2010, 12:23:18 AM
Post by: Martin TK on July 05, 2010, 12:23:18 AM
"If you talk like you post, does any body ever get a word in edge wise? "
Tank, I get it, I REALLY do, and yes, I'm actually a great listener. I'm a psychologist by education and a college professor by trade. Thanks for the welcome.
Thank you, Jester.
I promise that I am opinionated when it comes to religion, but I am also open to listen to all sides, too.
Martin
Tank, I get it, I REALLY do, and yes, I'm actually a great listener. I'm a psychologist by education and a college professor by trade. Thanks for the welcome.
Thank you, Jester.
I promise that I am opinionated when it comes to religion, but I am also open to listen to all sides, too.
Martin
Title: Re: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: Kylyssa on July 05, 2010, 06:00:42 AM
Post by: Kylyssa on July 05, 2010, 06:00:42 AM
Welcome from a fellow Michigander!
Title: Re: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: British_Atheist on July 05, 2010, 12:53:27 PM
Post by: British_Atheist on July 05, 2010, 12:53:27 PM
Welcome to HAF Martin TK
Title: Re: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: The Magic Pudding on July 05, 2010, 04:17:09 PM
Post by: The Magic Pudding on July 05, 2010, 04:17:09 PM
Good luck with the family.
These tales of fundamentalism leave my mind in a spin.
These tales of fundamentalism leave my mind in a spin.
Title: Re: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: Cecilie on July 05, 2010, 07:35:45 PM
Post by: Cecilie on July 05, 2010, 07:35:45 PM
Hi Martin. Welcome.
Title: Re: Greetings from the UP of Michigan
Post by: pinkocommie on July 06, 2010, 02:31:33 AM
Post by: pinkocommie on July 06, 2010, 02:31:33 AM
Welcome to the forum! It's great to have you here. =D