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I am knew to this forum and kinda young, so I consider myself pretty stupid. I'm very curious as to what people think about these 2 subjects:

dating/courting

Which is prefered more amongst different religions and or people in general?

Honestly, I have no idea... Personally, I prefer hanging out, then having sex, then either going each our own way or having more sex and eventually a relationship...

I think that's also how most of my friends prefer it.

Quote from: "gamasnor"I am knew to this forum and kinda young, so I consider myself pretty stupid. I'm very curious as to what people think about these 2 subjects:

dating/courting

Which is prefered more amongst different religions and or people in general?

First question, how old are you? I'm sure as hell not discussing this subject with a minor, unless I know they are and can gauge my comments in that frame of reference  

Welcome aboard!

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haha
im 15.
im just bored so i just started this

Cheers for that information.

Bored teenager, I remember that well! Even though it was 35 years ago in my case  

Now I'd consider dating and courting to be pretty much the same thing so the first thing we need to establish is what you consider the definitions of dating and courting to be and what makes them different in your estimation?

I like company.

Quote from: "RappingAgnostic"I like company.

Well we know that! Look at your post count on TAF! Or maybe that's an anti-indicator  ;)

okay this is a rough definition of what i was taught.
courting: being with a partner for a period of time that will lead to a succesful marriage
dating: just switching partners a lot more.

this post was really to see some of peoples responses and examine it, so i will most likely not post much replies

Quote from: "gamasnor"okay this is a rough definition of what i was taught.
courting: being with a partner for a period of time that will lead to a succesful marriage
dating: just switching partners a lot more.

this post was really to see some of peoples responses and examine it, so i will most likely not post much replies

Well in my experience dating leads to courting. I dated a few girls and then dated my future wife which lead to me courting her if you like.
I think the same can be said for my three grown up kids. They were all very different.

My son took relationships quite seriously and was choosy in who he would go out with, unlike one of his mates who simply attempted to date everybody! My son got into a serious relationship when he first went to university but that ended when he went abroad to do the last year of his masters in engineering. While there (Berekley UC) he met the lady who he is currently with, she is American born but both her parents came from Vietnam in the 70's. They are getting on fine, he's visiting her in the US at the moment she has been here a couple of times. They definitely get on very well and 'fit' nicely into each other's personalities.

My eldest daughter is expecting her first child in December, my first grand child. She was the wild one. Puberty hit like a freight train. At 12 she was a rather podjy pre-pubescent lump. By 12 3/4 the fat had redistributed into a 36D figure! She had a number of relationships with various lads and spent 2 years working abroad as a travel rep in ski resorts and beach resorts. Lets put it this way, she was never without a condom at the ready. She met her current partner when he was on holiday and they hit it off really well and the relationship carried on. She became pregnant, an accident, and decided to keep the baby. Her partner was delighted and they moved in together about a month ago, all seems to be well (fingers crossed).

My younger daughter (my sons twin) has known her partner for about 5 years now, neither played the field much as teenagers. They moved in together about a year ago into a rented place where they shared with his brother and a friend and yesterday picked up the keys to their own house! No sign of kids for them though.

So you see there is no best or one way to find a partner. It's just a case of seeing what's best for you. I met my wife on Nov 5th, got engaged in 25th Dec and married on the 31st March, 5 months from meet to marriage and we were both 20. That was in 1980 so we have been married for 30 years now.

You could date 10 people and it would just be fun, or just one and end up spending your life with them. The important things to remember are, don't get too serious too quickly, be honest with yourself and your partner if you want it to end then end it politely, considerately and firmly, while respecting that your friend my want to do the same. Dating is about trust and getting to know each other, it's more likely that you won't like what you have got into after a few dates with an individual than you will. Be prepared that most dates won't lead to anything.

Have fun, 15 is a wonderful and terrifying age to be  

Quote from: "Tank"Have fun, 15 is a wonderful and terrifying age to be  :raised: We lasted only six months though. The one before that lasted for well over a year... My first real girlfriend, actually. That falling apart was not nearly as spectacular though...  

Dating takes money.  Courting takes time.

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"Dating takes money.  Courting takes time and money.

Fixed  

Quote from: "Tank"At 12 she was a rather podjy pre-pubescent lump.

Lol. I have no idea what that means.

Quote from: "Tank"Have fun, 15 is a wonderful and terrifying age to be  

I am so glad that I will never be 15 again, though I'm (almost) only 17 yet.

Quote from: "Cecilie"

Quote from: "Tank"At 12 she was a rather podjy pre-pubescent lump.

Lol. I have no idea what that means.

She was sort of round and a little fat with no visible figure such as boobs or hips. Then in a matter of months she changed into a young woman  

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Cecilie"

Quote from: "Tank"At 12 she was a rather podjy pre-pubescent lump.

Lol. I have no idea what that means.

She was sort of round and a little fat with no visible figure such as boobs or hips. Then in a matter of months she changed into a young woman  ;)

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"Dating takes money.  Courting takes time and money.

Fixed  

hahah, you just need to cook a romantic dinner and buy a couple of candles.

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"Dating takes money.  Courting takes time and money.

Fixed  

hahah, you just need to cook a romantic dinner and buy a couple of candles.

Here speaks the last of the true romantics (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg34.imageshack.us%2Fimg34%2F2438%2Fheheoc.gif&hash=50cf1131f6316b9f48965cce1bfe1877dc8f90e7)

But how does one find a person to court without dating?  Parental suggestions, random chance, or through some other method?

How can you decide a person is worth marrying if you haven't gone on a date with him or her?  If you don't eat dinner together, go on a walk together, or sit somewhere and talk for hours how on earth can you ever get to know a person well enough to decide to marry him or her?

I'll say dating is preferable because it makes more sense to spend time with a person rather than just somehow selecting a person to marry then pursuing him or her.  Dating is the selection process, in my opinion.  Courting can't really take place until you make the decision of who you'd like to pursue.

But all people are different.  My parents met and married inside a ten day time-frame and lasted for forty odd years until my mom died.  My friend dated the same guy for thirteen years (having dated no one but him, ever) and then married him.  They lasted just over a year.

If you intend to select a person then court him or her and marry him or her, you probably shouldn't worry about it at 15.  Marriages between teens or young adults seldom work out no matter if they court or date.  People usually need to find out who they are before they combine their lives permanently with another person.  So you have a lot of time to consider this question if your point is the selection of a person to court and marry and to stay married for life.

And I'd rather shove an angry hornet up my nose than be 15 again.

Quote from: "Kylyssa"And I'd rather shove an angry hornet up my nose than be 15 again.

I don't know, for me 15 was pretty good, I found a couple of girls who were just as curious about how things worked as I was, we all learned a lot of things in the woods that summer, all those years ago  

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Kylyssa"And I'd rather shove an angry hornet up my nose than be 15 again.

I don't know, for me 15 was pretty good, I found a couple of girls who were just as curious about how things worked as I was, we all learned a lot of things in the woods that summer, all those years ago  

If I could have the body of a 15 year old, I'd be pleased but to actually be a teenager again would suck.  I did not enjoy it much.  I was a nerd so members of the opposite sex didn't experiment with me they knocked me around.  Junior high marked the point at which being a brain/freak was no longer cool and high school underlined that point in black ink.

The more I hear about it High School sounds like a kill or cure phase in most American kids lives!

Quote from: "Kylyssa"But how does one find a person to court without dating?  Parental suggestions, random chance, or through some other method?

How can you decide a person is worth marrying if you haven't gone on a date with him or her?  If you don't eat dinner together, go on a walk together, or sit somewhere and talk for hours how on earth can you ever get to know a person well enough to decide to marry him or her?

I'll say dating is preferable because it makes more sense to spend time with a person rather than just somehow selecting a person to marry then pursuing him or her.  Dating is the selection process, in my opinion.  Courting can't really take place until you make the decision of who you'd like to pursue.

But all people are different.  My parents met and married inside a ten day time-frame and lasted for forty odd years until my mom died.  My friend dated the same guy for thirteen years (having dated no one but him, ever) and then married him.  They lasted just over a year.

If you intend to select a person then court him or her and marry him or her, you probably shouldn't worry about it at 15.  Marriages between teens or young adults seldom work out no matter if they court or date.  People usually need to find out who they are before they combine their lives permanently with another person.  So you have a lot of time to consider this question if your point is the selection of a person to court and marry and to stay married for life.

I'm just saying get through the dating as quickly as possible, so as to minimize expenses.

eta:  The last of the true Romantics, indeed!  <snort>

I find dating to be a ridiculously difficult task.

Quote from: "Ellainix"I find dating to be a ridiculously difficult task.

Which bit? Getting a date or the process or both?

Quote from: "Tank"The more I hear about it High School sounds like a kill or cure phase in most American kids lives!

The more I hear about it, the more I appreciate being Norwegian...

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Ellainix"I find dating to be a ridiculously difficult task.

Which bit? Getting a date or the process or both?

I never get second dates from guys I like

Quote from: "Ellainix"

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Ellainix"I find dating to be a ridiculously difficult task.

Which bit? Getting a date or the process or both?

I never get second dates from guys I like

We need a forum agony aunt!

Quote from: "Ellainix"I never get second dates from guys I like

I have a somewhat inverted problem just like this - since my natural stance is to be relatively misanthropic, I rarely find myself wanting to give people another shot at me...

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Ellainix"I never get second dates from guys I like

I have a somewhat inverted problem just like this - since my natural stance is to be relatively misanthropic, I rarely find myself wanting to give people another shot at me...

There you go a match mad in heaven! Yes?

Dating is a great way to find out what you do and do not want And Courting is spending time with someone in particular, at church, at home, with parents and friends, or over the phone, or in public in order to determine if it is God's will that you two marry.

Quote from: "jacobrock23"Dating is a great way to find out what you do and do not want And Courting is spending time with someone in particular, at church, at home, with parents and friends, or over the phone, or in public in order to determine if it is God's will that you two marry.

God's will  

Quote from: "jacobrock23"in order to determine if it is God's will that you two marry.

I thought that's what some seriously nasty sex was for..? With whips and hand cuffs..?  

No, seriously, what is the point of getting married? Is it not better to liver together as long as the warm and fuzzy feeling lasts and then to move apart when the warm and fuzzy is replaced with distant and resentful and screw the useless ceremony..?

It is quite possible that none of my children will get married, two have moved in with their partners and the other will probably do the same.

Quote from: "jacobrock23"Courting is spending time with someone in particular, at church, at home, with parents and friends, or over the phone, or in public in order to determine if it is God's will that you two marry.

And how, pray tell, would our two lovebirds arrive at such a determination? Or is that left up to the guy?

Quote from: "jacobrock23"Dating is a great way to find out what you do and do not want And Courting is spending time with someone in particular, at church, at home, with parents and friends, or over the phone, or in public in order to determine if it is God's will that you two marry.

Riiiiight.  

True love needs no approval.

I think courting is an outdated term...it was most often used in our grandparents time back when parents pretended that their kids never had sex before marriage.  

Ever watch an old movie?  The boy comes to the door and one of the parents answers and the boy asks for permission to call on their daughter.  They then sit in the living room supervised and talking.  If he wins the trust of the parents he might be allowed to take her on a carriage ride.  

They also use to have these binding board things they used for when the gentleman caller was unable to return home as there was rarely such a thing as more than one bed in a house...they all shared.  The board was used to (attempt to) prevent hanky panky as they all (whole family) slept in the same bed.

Today people date (meaning they have an unsupervised outing) and then if they like each other they agree to only date each other and become boyfriend/girlfriend (or boyfriend/boyfriend etc) then later discuss marriage if they are the type who wants to get married at all; some choose to just be boyfriend/girlfriend for life as they see no reason to institutionalize their relationship.

I didn't even know what courting was. I had to it. I don't think there's a Norwegian word for it...

Quote from: "Tank"It is quite possible that none of my children will get married, two have moved in with their partners and the other will probably do the same.

Then they are much like myself in that area. The most my boyfriends or girlfriends or doll-friends or whatever can expect from me is living together as long as the romance lasts.

Quote from: "Cecilie"I didn't even know what courting was. I had to :D

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Tank"It is quite possible that none of my children will get married, two have moved in with their partners and the other will probably do the same.

Then they are much like myself in that area. The most my boyfriends or girlfriends or doll-friends or whatever can expect from me is living together as long as the romance lasts.

AH! An idealist!

Quote from: "Tank"AH! An idealist!

...

They tend to call it "an asshole" for some reason... Go figure...  

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Tank"AH! An idealist!

...

They tend to call it "an asshole" for some reason... Go figure...  

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