Happy Atheist Forum

To christians (and other religious people) and atheists (if you're an atheist this question is hypothetical) Does God poop? Does he even have an anus? I mean, what is he doing up there?
This question may not seem serious and it's not, but I would really like to know what religious people believe.

Where do you think we came from?

Bob took a huge dump, lit a match and boom ->) Universe.

Quote from: "Davin"Where do you think we came from?

Bob took a huge dump, lit a match and boom ->) Universe.

Ah. Can't find the scene from Family Guy that illustrates this.  

He does not eat, and therefore, cannot poop.

Quote from: "SSY"He does not eat, and therefore, cannot poop.

I suppose that makes some sort of sense. But that still doesn't answer the question what he does up there. Answer prayers? Shows himself through a piece of toast? Maybe he's retired. I mean he is over 6000 years old.  

As a pantheist, and God being everything, I guess that sort of answers itself.

Quote from: "Genesis"As a pantheist, and God being everything, I guess that sort of answers itself.

So he's an octopus or something?

Quote from: "Cecilie"

Quote from: "Genesis"As a pantheist, and God being everything, I guess that sort of answers itself.

So he's an octopus or something?

Aye, captain.

By everything, I mean everything.

Quote from: "Genesis"

Quote from: "Cecilie"

Quote from: "Genesis"As a pantheist, and God being everything, I guess that sort of answers itself.

So he's an octopus or something?

Aye, captain.

By everything, I mean everything.

So he controls when I have to poop? Doesn't he have anything better to do?

It's like asking if Captain America or Mickey Mouse ever takes a shit.

Quote from: "i_am_i"It's like asking if Captain America or Mickey Mouse ever takes a shit.

But I assumed they did.  

Quote from: "Genesis"

Quote from: "Cecilie"

Quote from: "Genesis"As a pantheist, and God being everything, I guess that sort of answers itself.

So he's an octopus or something?

Aye, captain.

By everything, I mean everything.

by octopus, he/she meant octopus.

Quote from: "Cecilie"Does God poop?

what a coincidence. just yesterday amazon recommended me a book with a similar title.
Well, if humans are the same image as god, then god maybe has an ass. And since he is god and doesn't eat, he doesnt use his ass so...
i guess...
god's ass is an evolutionary vestigial... organ...?

Quote from: "MariaEvri"

Quote from: "Cecilie"Does God poop?

:P

A vestigial organ would be an organ something has that isn't used.  Theoretically, god would have an anus (if you agree that we are made in god's image that seems logical - we have anuses, therefore s/he/it probably does too), but it would be vestigial since god evidently doesn't eat and therefore wouldn't poo.

Since we're pretending anyway, I like to imagine that god eats clouds and sparkley space dust and poops out rainbows.  

Quote from: "SSY"He does not eat, and therefore, cannot poop.

Ah! But God could poop even without eating if he wanted to. Personally I'd go for God eating whatever he liked and as much as he liked and NOT pooping!

What, has no one heard the term "Holy shit!"?

God poops, people exclaim it.  

I prefer to ask if God has a penis.  There's even less use for a penis if there's only one God.

Quote from: "Kylyssa"I prefer to ask if God has a penis.  There's even less use for a penis if there's only one God.

At least one person would probably disagree......

[spoiler:2op1iftv]......if she were real:
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.erosblog.com%2Fsex-blog-pictures%2Fvirgin-mary-in-playboy.jpg&hash=4a81d8f0986a61db0a466b7ed92a5418d6cdb5ed)
 [/spoiler:2op1iftv]

Quote from: "Kylyssa"I prefer to ask if God has a penis.  There's even less use for a penis if there's only one God.

I don't know this forum well enough to make the retort that sprang to mind then  

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Kylyssa"penis

sprang

I'm so immature.

Quote from: "elliebean"

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Kylyssa"penis

sprang

:blush:

Quote from: "Genesis"

Quote from: "Cecilie"

Quote from: "Genesis"As a pantheist, and God being everything, I guess that sort of answers itself.

So he's an octopus or something?

Aye, captain. :P

Take that any way you want.

Quote from: "MariaEvri"

Quote from: "Cecilie"Does God poop?

:eek:

The god of the bible is an asshole.
An asshole is an anus.
Therefore god is an anus.

That would explain a lot...

Best retort of all, Jill.  However I think it is the pope to whom we must assign the term: "holy shit".

Wow! You guys are irreverent,  but the original question is legitimate enough if we are to expand our understanding of god and the way he functions.

Question: Does heaven have golden toilets or are they just regular old porcelain. Also, does heaven have septic tanks?  

Quote from: "Icarus"Best retort of all, Jill.  However I think it is the pope to whom we must assign the term: "holy shit".

Wow! You guys are irreverent,  but the original question is legitimate enough if we are to expand our understanding of god and the way he functions.

Question: Does heaven have golden toilets or are they just regular old porcelain. Also, does heaven have septic tanks?  

Nope. The shit goes straight to hell!

Quote from: "Tank"Nope. The shit goes straight to hell!

I disagree.

What makes a septic tank what it is is putrefaction. This means there is a supercolony of various bacteria breaking down the shit.

Now, given that we've established divine feces, and given that we know that the divine is infinite and that hell is finite (it was created), we know that an infinite amount of even divine crap can not be stored in a finite space.

So heaven would need septic tanks. Sure, you could argue that no one would want vats of steaming putrescence in heaven, and as such would degrade heaven from perfection - thus making it not heaven. You'd be wrong of course. Even bacteria are worthy of the Greatest Reward, and what would be a better reward for anaerobic bacteria than to putrefy divine excrement? Talk about manna from heaven!

So, everyone gets their little slice of heaven, and no one drowns in shit in hell unless its on the schedule.  

^^^  

Jillswift, is your avatar a video-game graphic, or a photograph? I'm not entirely sure...

Also, I hope most christians don't see this page. There are many christians that go onto atheist websites to try to convert. But I have some good friends that are very devout. They are very good people. I guess it's because of them that I'm going to decline to join in on this very irreverent fun.

 :D

Quote from: "JillSwift"Sure, you could argue that no one would want vats of steaming putrescence in heaven, and as such would degrade heaven from perfection - thus making it not heaven.

Hence, your only chance of getting in is if your shit doesn't stink.

Quote from: "elliebean"Hence, your only chance of getting in is if your shit doesn't stink.

And thus we know why there's so much empty space heaven.   [attachment=0:2t7ejyr3]fart-smiley.gif[/attachment:2t7ejyr3]

(Besides the septic tanks, I mean.)

Quote from: "Tank"

Quote from: "Kylyssa"I prefer to ask if God has a penis.  There's even less use for a penis if there's only one God.

I don't know this forum well enough to make the retort that sprang to mind then  

Maybe he doesn't have a penis. Then again, maybe he does and doesn't use it? Maybe that's why he has such an interest in how and where I use it. God lives vicariously through humans sex lives.

But to put this back to the OP...
I wonder if he's seen the video Two girls and a Cup...*laffin*


yeah...I can be crude..