Title: Laugh a little.
Post by: Magdalena on March 03, 2010, 07:59:45 AM
Post by: Magdalena on March 03, 2010, 07:59:45 AM
Religious Violence
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!†“Why shouldn’t I?†he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for! He said, “Like what?†I said, “Well… are you a religious man or an atheist?†He said, “Religious.†I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?†He said, “Christian.†I said, “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?†He said, “Protestant.†I said, “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?†He said, “Baptist.†I said, “Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?†He said, Baptist Church of God.†I said, “Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?†He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God.†I said, “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?†He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915.†I said, “Die, heretic scum.†and pushed him off.
â€"Emo Phillips, comedian
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said, “Stop! Don’t do it!†“Why shouldn’t I?†he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for! He said, “Like what?†I said, “Well… are you a religious man or an atheist?†He said, “Religious.†I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?†He said, “Christian.†I said, “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?†He said, “Protestant.†I said, “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?†He said, “Baptist.†I said, “Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?†He said, Baptist Church of God.†I said, “Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?†He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God.†I said, “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879 or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?†He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915.†I said, “Die, heretic scum.†and pushed him off.
â€"Emo Phillips, comedian
Title: Re: Laugh a little.
Post by: curiosityandthecat on March 03, 2010, 01:59:44 PM
Post by: curiosityandthecat on March 03, 2010, 01:59:44 PM
I love Emo Phillips. I still remember one bit from a show of his years and years ago:
"I was sitting in the waiting room at my proctologist's office when a nice young woman sat down next to me. She introduced herself and asked, 'So, what're you here for?' I said, 'I've got the largest hemorrhoids you've ever seen.' She said, 'Oh, is that why you're sitting on that bean bag chair?' 'Look again,' I said."
Slays me.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediabistro.com%2Fprnewser%2Foriginal%2Femo_philips_old.jpg&hash=af01b9f445f35f9fba3405fe8a11edcb5b5cfe30)
"I was sitting in the waiting room at my proctologist's office when a nice young woman sat down next to me. She introduced herself and asked, 'So, what're you here for?' I said, 'I've got the largest hemorrhoids you've ever seen.' She said, 'Oh, is that why you're sitting on that bean bag chair?' 'Look again,' I said."
Slays me.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediabistro.com%2Fprnewser%2Foriginal%2Femo_philips_old.jpg&hash=af01b9f445f35f9fba3405fe8a11edcb5b5cfe30)
Title: Re: Laugh a little.
Post by: Dries on March 03, 2010, 05:21:06 PM
Post by: Dries on March 03, 2010, 05:21:06 PM
Quote from: "curiosityandthecat"I love Emo Phillips. I still remember one bit from a show of his years and years ago:
"I was sitting in the waiting room at my proctologist's office when a nice young woman sat down next to me. She introduced herself and asked, 'So, what're you here for?' I said, 'I've got the largest hemorrhoids you've ever seen.' She said, 'Oh, is that why you're sitting on that bean bag chair?' 'Look again,' I said."
Slays me.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediabistro.com%2Fprnewser%2Foriginal%2Femo_philips_old.jpg&hash=af01b9f445f35f9fba3405fe8a11edcb5b5cfe30)
:D :D :D :D
