Happy Atheist Forum

I am sure this question has been asked of you all before if you know anyone religious.

My wife's side of the family(not including her) all go to a church that just opened a in a new building and they invited us for next weekend.

"You should really come and see the new church, meet the pastor, and convert back to Christianity." (Okay, I added that last bit but you get the idea)

I started thinking what it would be like to attend services as an atheist, something I haven't done since I changed views.
It would definitely be awkward just sitting there and not participating in the worship, not singing, not bowing my head in prayer.
But then it might be interesting seeing it from a different perspective. I am not sure. I have had similar invitations from my parents back to my former church but since I know everyone there it would get way to personal with people really trying to convince me to change back.

So has anyone actually accepted an invitation to church as an atheist, and if so what was it like?

I have been to one memorial service and one religious wedding since becoming an athiest.  

The memorial service was for my grandmother and was not long after I had realized I didn't believe anymore.  So, the entire experience was upsetting because I was pretty upset about them trying to tell me that my grandmother was in a better place and I'd see her again.  Grieving as an atheist is simply not helped by going to a sermon.

The wedding was just a few weeks ago.  When they had prayer I just didn't bow my head.  I'm also pretty sure I gave a noticeable cringe face when the minister said something about the husband being the head of household who looked out for his wife's wishes and the woman being subservient to him (Baptist view of marriage).  Then I spent the next few minutes thinking about if they took that view literally or if it was just for ceremonial purposes.

Believe it or not, no one has invited me to go to their church yet (other than the occasional 'come to my church' comment religious people may say online that doesn't mean anything since they live a few hundred miles away).  No one has asked me what church I go to either.  The last time I remember either of these things being asked I was in high school and still religious.

My husband has been invited by some local people he plays xbox live with, he just comes up with an excuse since he wants to just play xbox and not accidentally set them into preaching mode.  He only knows them through a gaming forum but they do live in our city.

It's depressing. I don't mean like "Battlestar's over, what will I watch now?" depressing, I mean "guess what, most of the people on the planet are non compos mentis" depressing. It's heart-breaking. The whole time I thought about how other people I know are just as unbalanced as the people I was sitting with in this giant, beautiful building made from the funds of misguided poor people in order to glorify institutionalized superstition.

Also, when they spoke in unison they sound like the Borg and I'm not comfortable with the implication of that realization.

I haven't been in ages, I used to go with my grandmother for fear of her getting upset and falling over, after all she's in her 90s, but now when I visit I just act like I'm asleep when everyone is getting ready and moan like I don't feel good when she opens my door:)

My son and I did go with my aunt and uncle (and cousin who went to be nice) several years ago in Houston.  I'm not sure what kind of church it was but at one point some of the members went down to the pastor and he touched them and they spoke in tongues.  I remember my son saying "what language are they speaking" and my cousin laughing and saying "none" to him.  (Of course my uncle said "God can understand them".)

Now I don't think I could stomach it because I would not be able to sit still or not feel utterly helpless that there are so many people that need something so bad to feel like they belong or are whole.  I don't think I would go just for fear that I may not be respectful, and I wouldn't want to do that to a friend of family member.

I went to a private school. It called itself a christian school although I'm pretty sure most of the teachers there were as sceptical about religion as I was. Because I had a music scholarship, I had to do all things music, which included being in the choir. I probably spent 6 hours a week in that stupid school church. 3 hours of which having to bear my choir master's halitosis and the other three hours having to listen to the incessant drone of the chaplains dreary sermon voice.

It pissed me off. I was bored. So very incredibly bored.

The few religious weddings I've been to since have had the same, monotonous, dreary and suicidally boring theme headed by the most boring person wearing the most boring, dour clothes in the world.

What is it about religion which turns people into simpering boredom freaks? Can't there be something to celebrate instead of having to sing dreary atonal yawn-fests? It is like, as soon as religion comes into play no one is allowed to have fun anymore. Well, that is the way it is in the UK, at least.

So, if someone asked me to come to their church, i'd probably reply by saying 'i'd rather chew my own arm off'...  

My wife is still a Christian and my de-conversion has been hard on her.  She's still hoping I'll reconsider and praying that I'll come back.  I try very, very hard not to be confrontational about my atheism, as (unlike my religious friends) I don't think it's something you can or should pester people about or nag them into believing.

Once in a while I go to church with her at her request, usually when she's doing something like singing a solo (she has a great singing voice) or leading the childrens' choir.  I sat in that church for 15 years as a believer so the singing, praying, and sermon don't bother me at all.  The looks from other people are a bit annoying though, as if I'm somehow contagious.  I absolutely, positively will not discuss my atheism in their church, even when asked directly (if asked I say "I'll be happy to talk about it some other time, call me tonight"), yet nevertheless half of my former friends will avoid me.  

So to answer the question: I have no problem visiting church per se (other than that it's boring, and I know I don't believe any of it), for me it's awkward because the people I was once friends with will mostly ignore me or look at me like I have a third eye, despite my best attempts to fly under the radar.

My mother-in-law drags us all to her church on Christmas Eve and I don't mind it, as I don't know anyone there.  As an atheist am I still allowed to like the classic Christmas carols?  

Quote from: "Enoch Root"As an atheist am I still allowed to like the classic Christmas carols?   :P

Quote from: "Enoch Root"I try very, very hard not to be confrontational about my atheism, as (unlike my religious friends) I don't think it's something you can or should pester people about or nag them into believing.
:

I can relate to this. I hang out with my niece and nephew on Sundays and they sometimes bring it up. I try to just change the subject.
I don't think my family would appreciate me tarnishing their children's innocent belief in God. Maybe when they are older.  

OK, OK, completely off topic.  But I've been to service a few times, and though I don't bow my head and close my eyes, I do sing.  I think every atheist ought to use it as an excuse to sing like they were meant for it, as no one in the building is gonna tell you otherwise so long as it seems sincere.  The words (or rather, their meaning)?  Who cares?  I don't mind singing much of anything if I have a good time singing it.

Oh, and by the way, I suck.  They can't say anything about that, either.

*EDIT*

Oh, and it was weird.  It's amazing the statements you're OK with when you're religious.  "God, set us on fire.  I want to burn in your holy fire, God!  God set me on FIRE!" has to be the most unnerving thing I've heard yet, though there were plenty of despicable statements.  Still, those are by and large separated by the good, morally decent teachings of Christ.  But then, I don't go to hear readings from Sun Tsu or Confucius every weeked, so I don't think I'm going to make a habit of it for Jesus, either.

I've been to many different churches with many of my friends (thankfully family never dragged me) and if anything it's strengthened my views. I see it as a learning experience, granted I don't go in with the mentality that I am doing an inside job, gathering information for the "other side". But never fails, I come out thinking..."Well, this doesn't add up, and that was a little weird."
But I guess there were awkward moments.
Nothing traumatic.

I',m a regular at the church. I have a large family and all of my cousins have now reached the spawning age so we have lots and lots of weddings and christenings (and an occasional funeral). I don't participate in the ceremony, and lately I started running around the church with my camera to kill time.

Quote from: "karadan"What is it about religion which turns people into simpering boredom freaks? Can't there be something to celebrate instead of having to sing dreary atonal yawn-fests? It is like, as soon as religion comes into play no one is allowed to have fun anymore. Well, that is the way it is in the UK, at least.

You explained why 44% of brits are atheist. Congrats!

Lol got roped into this a few times. They do say some crazy stuff in there but at least no one started passing out the poisonous snakes lol. I have this foreign friend from my college who is strongly catholic. He asked me to go to his christian fraternity once. Hes a really nice guy so I went to humor him(They think its their lifes mission to convert us.). I was told it wasn't really about religion, they just show up and discuss things and play pool etc. Man did I really step in it, it was practically a cult in there. Everybody says out loud these prayers.(I swear some of them were just makin up words.). This went on for 30 minutes to an hour and I'm just standing here with my hands in my pockets wanting to leave but not wanting to offend anyone. Then the concert started. Several hundred semipsychotic christians screaming at the top of their lungs to rock music.

So the guy knew I was agnostic and that i went to humor him and the next day in class he's shocked to hear that I didn't instantaneously convert. He wanted me to go back and I had to spend the rest of the semester in that class explaining to the guy that i just wasn't interested. Sometimes they really make a nuisance of themselves and its difficult to really blame them because you know they've been brainwashed. I really felt bad for the guys warped sense of purpose but what can ya do?

The whole church thing really makes me feel bad cause I have family who with all their heart believe in that stuff and really think that they would be helping me by changing my beliefs. Sometimes I really think religion is a malicious torture device for its followers. All christianity seems to want to do is convert everyone no matter the cost, it really makes me sick sometimes. So my advice would be "don't go." You don't want to be there and think about it, would any of them be willing to sit silently through some sort of "Atheist communion" if such a thing existed? Few of them are willing to "hear(actually consider and debate)" our side of the arguement so why should we subject ourselves to theirs? The religion itself is designed to spread and control the populous. Don't feel bad about not giving it the chance(Would you purposely expose yourself to a plague?).

Quote from: "Prometheus"So my advice would be "don't go." You don't want to be there and think about it, would any of them be willing to sit silently through some sort of "Atheist communion" if such a thing existed? Few of them are willing to "hear(actually consider and debate)" our side of the arguement so why should we subject ourselves to theirs?

Ah, that is an excellent idea. Maybe I will agree to go if they agree to watch an episode of the Atheist Experience.
[youtube:38kl447t]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJxCFa8YmbQ[/youtube:38kl447t]

Quote from: "Whitney"The wedding was just a few weeks ago.  When they had prayer I just didn't bow my head.  I'm also pretty sure I gave a noticeable cringe face when the minister said something about the husband being the head of household who looked out for his wife's wishes and the woman being subservient to him (Baptist view of marriage).  Then I spent the next few minutes thinking about if they took that view literally or if it was just for ceremonial purposes.

Eehhh, that happened at my friend's wedding, too, and I was like "wtf?"


When I was a bit younger, I used to volunteer at the local huge-ass First Baptist Church (doing so gave me free piano lessons, which rocked and I loved my teacher there).  I've always been Atheist, but I went to a couple youth group meetings and Sunday services, and I even went to their Christmas pageant a couple years in a row (free tickets, took my sister and cousin for the lulz).

One girl I met at youth group invited me over to play video games once, and she ended up bringing me along to go see Billy Graham instead >_>;;  An hour and a half of awful Christian rock/rap/music, and a half-hour of the old dude talking.  I remember the little kid rappers more than I remember what he said.

Though growing up homeschooled I've always been around the super-religious, and they've always baffled me.  Homeschool "enrichment" classes (ala, taught chemistry and stuff my mom couldn't) were always religious, as well as girl scouts, and I just never bowed my head or said "god" in the various pledges.  Never stood up, never did anything.  I was questioned by some, but I was never really hassled about it.

Now that I'm older my peers seem less accepting, though. >_>

This is a bit droning on, but I thought I'd mention that one of my super-religious uncles was crushed by a lawnmower and killed last year.  The service was highly religious, and they mentioned how he loved animals (AND hunting!) and that he was probably catching rainbow bass in heaven.  I kind of just feel like... why did god kill him via lawnmower, why did he have the guy's daughter find him dead?  
I understand it's a form of comfort, but it's a form of comfort I will never understand or feel.

QuoteThe service was highly religious, and they mentioned how he loved animals (AND hunting!)

That's how you know he loved animals. He loved em so much he just had to eat em up. :brick:

I suppose I'm a little bit lucky. My family is pretty laid back when it comes to going to Mass, so Mum wasn't too bothered when I told her I felt uncomfortable going. I'll admit, at first I was being silly and acting all "Yay, I don't have to go!" like a little kid but then I remembered that no one else outside my parents and me knew about my whole "Hey guys, I'm not a Catholic anymore lol" thing, so I kinda sorta freaked out a little when I realized that there will be Weddings, Christenings, Funerals and the like in the future. Go me.

But me and Mum sat down and we made a little deal that I would go to Mass for all important family events but I'd be a witness. Mum said that I wouldn't have to do any singing, praying, what have you, just be there. She told me that just being there makes her happy, so I'm cool with it. So far I've only been to a Christening and it wasn't as bad as I thought. I just sat there listening, occasionally taking pictures of the baby, family and stuff like that. No one asked why I didn't participate so I just kept quiet. I have more Weddings and Christenings in the future to go to, but I'm not looking forward to going to a Funeral. I think that it'll be pretty upsetting to hear the people say things that conflict with my own views on things, but we all have to face that bad moment sometime, right?

The only thing I've been asked to do is whether or not I wanted to go to Lourdes again this year. Every 1 or 2 years, a little group in our town goes to Lourdes on a Pilgrimage, see. This year I'll probably be the only non-religious person there. Before, I've only ever thought about the Pilgrimage like the others, but when you take a step back and take time to look at things, the place is really beautiful and interesting. I've also already agreed to go to the Masses to avoid being questioned by all the relatives and Mum keeps reassuring me that there'd be nothing to worry about but maaaaan I haven't a clue why I'm scared. Could be the fact that one of the priests is an old friend of mine and we now have conflicting views but hey I could be just being silly and paranoid like always fffffffff :x

Modern Churches are too "judgemental" upon their fellow brothers.

I do NOT attend Church. I found God on my own..

I could walk into a Church with Jesus himself,
and they would tell him to leave because the blood and dirt might stain their pretty carpets!

I pretty much memorized a bunch of prayers at my Grandpa's funeral(Catholic).  I doubt I could recite them now, though.

Several of the protestant churches I've visited weren't really that bad.  The less ritual involved in the service, the less bored I got    Actually, I remember some really lousy death metal band that played at the church on the edge of town.  The lyrics kept saying something about "Jebus," I couldn't really tell.