Happy Atheist Forum

As one of the fewer people on this site who's been given the opportunity to grow up without the shackles of religion holding me back, i've often wondered what it must feel like to have a large proportion of my past shrouded in the mist of religion. If that did represent a large proportion of my past, I'm sure I'd be pretty bloody pissed off about it. But then, I don't really know because I was never forced into embracing someone else's form of stupidity as my worldview. I was allowed to organically.

How do those of you who were brought up in particularly religious surroundings feel about it now that you are enlightened? Are you bitter and resentful or are you able to get some perspective and just see it as a part of your life where you felt a certain way, but now don't?

The day you finally realised how futile religion was, was that a joyous moment or a sad/resentful one?

I'm intrigued because I honestly don't know how I'd react when realising something so personally monumentous. If I'm really honest, if brought up in religious surroundings, I'd probably have never shed it. I'm not especially good with change.

I'm actually a little bit salty.

I was very frustrated at first, mostly with myself. I still cannot for the life of me figure out why I bought into religion. I can understand why I did as a very young child, but I didn't question religion until I was 14.

I'm not frustrated anymore. I'm a lot happier.

It was a joyous day for me... finally, a day without the noise of religion in my heart and head.  I could rest easy knowing it's all crap.

Did I feel betrayed, lied to or angry?  Nope... it is what it is and I can't change what has already happened and what I had no control over.  Why get mad?  I get mad all the time at what is happening right now and what MIGHT happen, things I can do something about, even if I don't.  But the past?  Nope.

Given that I have very strong negative feelings for religion and the religious I can only assume I must be.

Kyu

No, I am not bitter about being raised roman catholic, and then spending years trying different churches to find the "real" faith and god. But, like Will, I was frustrated with myself for having bought into it for so long, especially considering I also tried to buy into young earth creationism. I never did buy into it, but I was trying to believe it.

It was the thing that made me take a look a how much I was having to lie to myself in order to believe it. I couldn't do it. After that, it didn't take long for christianity itself to unravel and fall apart. My frustration was short-lived and replaced by knowing that I was able to be honest with myself and proud that was able to admit that I was so badly mistaken. I think so many people really put up a facade of belief because it is too embarrassing to admit they were wrong about their beliefs.

Okay, I admit it. I am bitter. Every time I accidentally tune in to a christian radio station, I mutter, "fucking christians" because I resent having been fooled by those well-meaning sheep and charlatans for so many years. They promised eternal bliss and reunion with our departed loved ones, based on a load of ether. I am still pissed as hell and out for blood!

I was bitter, actually pretty pissed off, at first because I felt I had been lied to (which I guess I had been..but not on purpose).  I was never really taught about other religions when I was younger and being exposed to other views is what really got me to start thinking about my own.  Almost all of my friends in high school were of different Christian denominations but some of their beliefs were so foreign to my own that it seemed like a completely different religion.  I had a short fundie period in my lower teens...I thought about going into the ministry and I think my dad talked me out of it since he is a seminary drop out.  It was a long time ago, but I think he essentially told me going into seminary is a good way to lose your faith.  Anyway, I'm glad someone or something talked me out of it.

I started moving away from religion when I was a junior in high school.  I had been dating a seventh day adventist and actually found their views more biblical than my own...which was a blow to religion since their views mimic the sexism of the bible.  It didn't actually click at the time, but it wasn't very long after that I gave up on church alltogether.  I called myself nondenominational, seriously questioned if Jesus was Christ, wondered if I was Jewish (I didn't know what deism was), and quit going to church (my childhood church had split up over arguing over money/building issues too).  Looking back, I was a deist, I just didn't know what to call it.

During my first years college god was really one of the last things on my mind.  I was very busy and didn't have the time to think deeply about things not related to my school work.  Sometimes when drunk my boyfriend of the time and I would discuss if god created everything then who created god, agreeing that the answer seemed to be non-existent and perplexing.  Later down the road I met the person who is now my husband, he was already an atheist.  Him being an atheist gave me a reason to want to know why other people are atheists...especially since I had previously been taught by my mother that atheists are not good people (she still doesn't care for them much...she just forgets he is one, for the better I guess).  Instead of asking him I researched on my own and quickly found a new word to describe my views...agnostic.  I stayed in the fence sitting agnostic area for about six months while I read various books and chatted on forums trying to figure things out.  After quite a few lengthy discussions on the Atheist Network (a forum) and yahoo chat...I found that I had become an atheist.

I've had a couple moments since then when I found myself asking god if he was there...I was a reluctant atheist since, you have to admit, if there is a god and that god is good it would be pretty cool to know it exists.  For me, letting go of the god concept was also letting go of the assurance that all my unanswered questions in life would be answered eventually.  I've had to learn that it is okay to not know.

Now it seems like it has been a very long time since I was a believer.  I've actually only been an atheist for about 4  years now (maybe 5...I didn't exactly record the date).  I'm not bitter, sure my mom and grandmother pushed the Christian view on me...but I could have questioned it sooner just like I questioned other things they taught me.  I think that my being an emotional person is what kept me from opening my eyes sooner.  Of course, it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders when I realized that even if there were a god it is rather unlikely that any fiery hell exists (http://www.what-the-hell-is-hell.com/ (http://www.what-the-hell-is-hell.com/)).  Once you leave the fear behind your mind is more open to explore.

Quote from: "Wraitchel"Every time I accidentally tune in to a christian radio station, I mutter, "fucking christians"

Oh, man, if I had a dime. My girlfriend is probably sick and tired of hearing me complain about them, haha. Since she's from Taiwan and thus never had to grow up an atheist in a Christian society, she doesn't really have an opinion about 'em. But, I do say it about five or six times a day.  

Like karadan, I grew up without any religion in my family.  There were never any prayers in the house, and I didn't even see a bible until a friend of the family gave me one.  I learned at a early age to distinguish fiction from reality.  It was fine to use imagination when playing, watching a movie, or reading a story; but I knew that was separate from the real world.  Thankfully, my home life while growing up was a sanctuary away from superstitious beliefs.   I never had to escape from religion, and I didn't have any conflict with my parents over religious beliefs, we were always on the same page about that.  In my family, we weren't anti-religion; I even went to an Episcopalian school because it was a good school.  We had friends who were of various faiths, and we respected their traditions.  As long as there was mutual respect, everyone was happy; but if someone tried to push their beliefs on us, that crossed the line into disrespect.

Some of my dad's relatives are southern baptist, and when I was a kid I didn't understand my mom's disdain for them.  When you are kid, adults are generally nice to you; but as I grew older, I started to see the ugly side of evangelical people.  They talked about all their superstitious beliefs with such conviction, never to be questioned without making them angry.  They recited all the moral rules handed down by god, but I saw so much hypocrisy in their behavior. I saw my dad's relatives privately condemning my parents for not going to church and telling them that they were on the path to hell.  One of my cousins who was my age started to evangelize to me when we were teenagers; I saw him turn from a fun guy into a judgmental bigot.  I eventually understood why my mom hated dealing with those relatives.  The more I was exposed to evangelical people like that, the more I developed my own dislike of them.  I went from a generally happy kid to a hardened adult.  I wouldn't call it "bitter", more like "annoyed" and "angry" that there are some people that are so unreasonable, people who spend so much time and money trying to make other people miserable if they don't follow religious dogma.

After a traumatic event about a year ago (death of a loved one), it strengthened my atheism; and also made me ponder more about the meaning of life.  I have been more actively seeking out people who have similar views, which brought me to this forum and to other groups near home.  I have found it interesting hearing the stories and struggles of people who have escaped religion, since I never had to deal with that.  I have also wanted to be more activist about secular causes, since I have seen so much damage to people and to the U.S. because of divisive religious beliefs affecting the government.  I'm still trying to figure out what I should do to support a cause.

I have many things to be grateful for from my experience in religion; fellowship, hard work, discipline, steadfastness, close friendships, etc.

However, in many respects, I am bitter... very, very bitter.

I'm watching friendships and families fall apart daily; some on pettiness, others on principle. I'm haunted by times when I myself blindly supported such divisiveness and feuds. I'm still trying to shake off the ignorance, the self-righteousness, the guilt, all the years of excluding myself from society. I have a such a large emotional debt to heal for what I was put through and told about the world.

When I was 11, my parents told me I'd likely be killed for what I believe in and what I stand for. I sat there for half an hour, crying into my dinner...

I am very bitter...

Quote from: "Arthur Dent"I have many things to be grateful for from my experience in religion; fellowship, hard work, discipline, steadfastness, close friendships, etc.

However, in many respects, I am bitter... very, very bitter.

I'm watching friendships and families fall apart daily; some on pettiness, others on principle. I'm haunted by times when I myself blindly supported such divisiveness and feuds. I'm still trying to shake off the ignorance, the self-righteousness, the guilt, all the years of excluding myself from society. I have a such a large emotional debt to heal for what I was put through and told about the world.

When I was 11, my parents told me I'd likely be killed for what I believe in and what I stand for. I sat there for half an hour, crying into my dinner...

I am very bitter...

Bloody hell! That's awful.

Quote from: "Wraitchel"Okay, I admit it. I am bitter. Every time I accidentally tune in to a christian radio station, I mutter, "fucking christians" because I resent having been fooled by those well-meaning sheep and charlatans for so many years. They promised eternal bliss and reunion with our departed loved ones, based on a load of ether. I am still pissed as hell and out for blood!

Well said that ... er ... person

Kyu

Quote from: "Kyuuketsuki"Given that I have very strong negative feelings for religion and the religious I can only assume I must be.

Kyu

same here
i dont WANT to be, I just wana live an dlet live, but I cant help it. Every time I hera religion being mention i get angry.

Okay, if we're talking bitter toward the religious in a current sense, yes... I'm bitter toward everyone and everything religious or related to god because of what they want to do to my life NOW.  

I'm not bitter toward my mom or dad because of my religious indoctrination as a child.  They believed and taught me to believe as well.  They weren't lying to me because there wasn't an intent to lie or intentionally mislead.  They truly believe what they were telling me is the truth, factual and real.  They did so with the best of intentions, wanting me to be a good Christian.

Yes, I know... people NOW do things with the best of intentions, but the contemporary atmosphere is different, at least IMO.  I can't really explain how I have it compartmentalized... but I do.  If a woman puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "I'll pray for you," I take offense.  If my mom does it, I don't.  I KNOW my mom means it, thinks it will do me good, and means no disrespect.  The other woman, I do believe she means disrespect, like she's better than I am because she has god and I don't.

Did that make sense?

So yes, whenever I see a billboard posting some religious garbage, or the news report about the GPS devices in the religious symbols donated (but not to any atheists, I'm sure), or even see the Gideon bible in a motel room... I'm very bitter.  Why do they have the right to put all of their beliefs out there but if I (or someone with my beliefs) does the same thing, we are vilified and told it's wrong and we're evil, even if we don't believe in that concept?

My upbringing?  No, not bitter.

Current religiosity of my country?  VERY bitter!

Quote from: "rlrose328"Okay, if we're talking bitter toward the religious in a current sense, yes... I'm bitter toward everyone and everything religious or related to god because of what they want to do to my life NOW.  

I'm not bitter toward my mom or dad because of my religious indoctrination as a child.  They believed and taught me to believe as well.  They weren't lying to me because there wasn't an intent to lie or intentionally mislead.  They truly believe what they were telling me is the truth, factual and real.  They did so with the best of intentions, wanting me to be a good Christian.

Yes, I know... people NOW do things with the best of intentions, but the contemporary atmosphere is different, at least IMO.  I can't really explain how I have it compartmentalized... but I do.  If a woman puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "I'll pray for you," I take offense.  If my mom does it, I don't.  I KNOW my mom means it, thinks it will do me good, and means no disrespect.  The other woman, I do believe she means disrespect, like she's better than I am because she has god and I don't.

Did that make sense?

So yes, whenever I see a billboard posting some religious garbage, or the news report about the GPS devices in the religious symbols donated (but not to any atheists, I'm sure), or even see the Gideon bible in a motel room... I'm very bitter.  Why do they have the right to put all of their beliefs out there but if I (or someone with my beliefs) does the same thing, we are vilified and told it's wrong and we're evil, even if we don't believe in that concept?

My upbringing?  No, not bitter.

Current religiosity of my country?  VERY bitter!

rlrose, I couldn't agree more. I don't have any hard feelings towards my fundamentalist family, though I do feel annoyed, and sometimes uncomfortable when they take obvious passive aggressive action - like the topics they publicly pray for at family get togethers, and even the gifts they give. (They gave me Lee Sobel's book...) But I tolerate it because the only other choice is not having a family...

I definitely feel differently about any non family member. My family gets off the hook for their BS because I love them - but not anyone else.

Well, I was pretty angry at religion for a while. I don't want to say I'm freed of bitterness. But I really don't mind religion too much. At other times, I am very annoyed. Luckily for me, I like to show my obvious disapproval for all things religious. That fact that other people get uncomfortable and some even argue with me is fun.

-_-;

Quote from: "rlrose328"It was a joyous day for me... finally, a day without the noise of religion in my heart and head.  I could rest easy knowing it's all crap.

Same here. I think I am able to appreciate being an atheist more. Freedom tastes so much sweeter knowing what it is like to be oppressed. In many ways I am thankful. I try not to think about how differently some things in my life could have played out in the past had I been faithless.

I'm not bitter.  Annoyed maybe, but not bitter.  I mean, if there really was a hell, I'd want someone to do everything in their power to save me from it.  Where it gets irritating is when they refuse to even countenance an alternate point of view.  Everything except exactly what they believe is wrong.  I don't mind the superstition.  That's just ignorace.  I hate the closed-mindedness.  That's stupidity.  BIG difference there.

Quote from: "Sophus"

Quote from: "rlrose328"It was a joyous day for me... finally, a day without the noise of religion in my heart and head.  I could rest easy knowing it's all crap.

Same here. I think I am able to appreciate being an atheist more. Freedom tastes so much sweeter knowing what it is like to be oppressed. In many ways I am thankful. I try not to think about how differently some things in my life could have played out in the past had I been faithless.

Agreed Sophus - there is surely a sense of self liberation in coming to an atheist perspective after previously being so misguided.

hi, this is my first post! i grew up in a christian surrounding my whole life and in my late teens, my sense of reasoning was strongly opposing my religious beliefs. i ignored my better judgement for a while out of fear of hell, but eventually i decided that god would not be angry with me if i was honestly searching for truth. i mean, after all, it would lead me right back to "him," right? imagine my surprise! within a year of exploring, i realized how ridiculous the christian religion was. i have never felt bitter about my skewed upbringing. for me, my path through ignorance has given me compassion for christians. they dont choose to wallow in their ignorance, it is simply the best explanation they can come up with to explain the world around them. i have met and am friends with a lot of christians who i respect despite disagreeing with nearly their entire world view. i do have a problem when religion causes people to make decisions. i have a cousin who is married with two young children. he recently felt "called" to become a chaplain in the military. this makes me angry. he is choosing to go into harms way to be an intermediary between soldiers and their imaginary friend, meanwhile leaving his young family behind and risking death resulting in his wife having to raise his children alone. i have nothing but respect for people who want to protect their country, but this decision should not be based on a "calling."
to your question about feeling joy, i felt a mixture of emotions. i felt free of so much fear and free of the unattainable standards, but at the same time, i felt like i had lost a friend. as a christian i believed that god loved me and was helping me find a path in this life. suddenly this highly connected friend was gone. it was very comforting to believe that god was up in heaven watching over me, pulling strings in my favor. if i, for example, was in a car wreck, i could quiet my worrisome feelings, telling myself that god was in control. if i passed a tough exam, then god helped me, if i failed, then it was for his glory and my benefit in the long run. now its just me, figuring it all out on my own, but "it is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, no matter how satisfying or reassuring."

Quote from: "brekfustuvluzerz"hi, this is my first post! i grew up in a christian surrounding my whole life and in my late teens, my sense of reasoning was strongly opposing my religious beliefs. i ignored my better judgement for a while out of fear of hell, but eventually i decided that god would not be angry with me if i was honestly searching for truth. i mean, after all, it would lead me right back to "him," right? imagine my surprise! within a year of exploring, i realized how ridiculous the christian religion was. i have never felt bitter about my skewed upbringing. for me, my path through ignorance has given me compassion for christians. they dont choose to wallow in their ignorance, it is simply the best explanation they can come up with to explain the world around them. i have met and am friends with a lot of christians who i respect despite disagreeing with nearly their entire world view. i do have a problem when religion causes people to make decisions. i have a cousin who is married with two young children. he recently felt "called" to become a chaplain in the military. this makes me angry. he is choosing to go into harms way to be an intermediary between soldiers and their imaginary friend, meanwhile leaving his young family behind and risking death resulting in his wife having to raise his children alone. i have nothing but respect for people who want to protect their country, but this decision should not be based on a "calling."
to your question about feeling joy, i felt a mixture of emotions. i felt free of so much fear and free of the unattainable standards, but at the same time, i felt like i had lost a friend. as a christian i believed that god loved me and was helping me find a path in this life. suddenly this highly connected friend was gone. it was very comforting to believe that god was up in heaven watching over me, pulling strings in my favor. if i, for example, was in a car wreck, i could quiet my worrisome feelings, telling myself that god was in control. if i passed a tough exam, then god helped me, if i failed, then it was for his glory and my benefit in the long run. now its just me, figuring it all out on my own, but "it is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, no matter how satisfying or reassuring."

Wow. You will make a great addition to this forum!
 

thanks karadan! glad to be here. and honestly, when i saw the smiley you left for me, i put down my laptop and went to the fridge! back at ya!

wonderfully put, brekfustuvluzerz! I can relate to so many things you mentioned.

I suppose that in the end, I am not bitter towards my parents, but rather the nature of what took hold of them and took advantage of them with false promises and stories (lies) of a glorious future.

I can definitely agree with you on despising when it comes into decision making. My family was hesitant to let me attend college due to fear of the "end of the world" and things of that nature. Everyday I see life-changing decisions being made on faith, against all logic.

yeah im with you, aurthur. its also scary when those decisions are made by people with power and they effect a lot of lives. but i guess that is the world we live in. people have been doing that throughout history (witch burners!). i am also particularly angry with how much interesting culture was destroyed in the name of the christian god. the vikings of northern europe come to mind. i live in the states and once i met a very interesting guy from norway. he explained to me that in their country, christians are the bad guys of history. its always good to get other perspectives on life.

Quote from: "brekfustuvluzerz"yeah im with you, aurthur. its also scary when those decisions are made by people with power and they effect a lot of lives. but i guess that is the world we live in. people have been doing that throughout history (witch burners!). i am also particularly angry with how much interesting culture was destroyed in the name of the christian god. the vikings of northern europe come to mind. i live in the states and once i met a very interesting guy from norway. he explained to me that in their country, christians are the bad guys of history. its always good to get other perspectives on life.

Funnily enough, there weren't that many witches burnt in the middle ages. The figure is more like 500, not the millions Dan Brown suggested in his awful book 'The da Vinci Code'...

The usual thing to happen to suspected witches was that they were let off due to lack of evidence.

Tis true

Hey I kinda liked The Da Vinci Code, but I was with Teabing..

QuoteFunnily enough, there weren't that many witches burnt in the middle ages. The figure is more like 500, not the millions Dan Brown suggested in his awful book 'The da Vinci Code'...

The usual thing to happen to suspected witches was that they were let off due to lack of evidence.

Tis true

i havent studied much on the actual events, what information i have, i got from carl sagan's demon-haunted world. according to him, there were "hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions." killed in europe for being witches. then he goes on to say "billions and millions of billions, perhaps a million billion billion, literally billions and billions were killed," just kidding he didnt take it that far. but he did say perhaps millions. you wouldnt be disagreeing with father sagan now would you?    idk, either way, one was too many.

Witch killing is still being practiced in the world. There are horrible accounts of witches being killed in Africa, a practice that is on the rise there (South Africa, Tanzania. Ghana etc.). In early modern Europe the estimated number of people executed for witchcraft vary between about 40,000 and 100,000 (source: Wikipedia).

Quote from: "Tom62"Witch killing is still being practiced in the world. There are horrible accounts of witches being killed in Africa, a practice that is on the rise there (South Africa, Tanzania. Ghana etc.)

Ignorance: NOT bliss...  

Quote from: "Tom62"Witch killing is still being practiced in the world. There are horrible accounts of witches being killed in Africa, a practice that is on the rise there (South Africa, Tanzania. Ghana etc.). In early modern Europe the estimated number of people executed for witchcraft vary between about 40,000 and 100,000 (source: Wikipedia).

Hmm, according to Stephen Fry, the amount killed in the UK during those horrid times, was just 500. The amount accused was far greater than that but most were actually let off. The preferred method of death was actually by hanging, and not by fire, which is also a misconception apparently.