Thanks to all who responded. It's hard to deconstruct fully because I know in my head that god is not real, but a part of me still emotionally believes this being is real (Ugh!) I wrote another essay about how this being is like a delusional abusive ex who won't accept my realty and respect my decisions (hallmark sign of a gaslighter).
https://seylee.medium.com/dealing-with-an-abusive-delusional-ex-4230a941b734?postPublishedType=repub
I don't mean to be a dick, but are you actually looking to engage, or do you just want more clicks on your blog? Because it's feeling like the latter. If you don't actually respond but continue to add new posts like this, I'm going to just assume the latter and not bother reading it.