Happy Atheist Forum

I am a huge procrastinator and hate it in myself - honestly, I put so much effort into avoiding some things that it would be far easier to just do it! So, to make myself feel better about my own shortcomings, I want to hear about yours please (and if anyone has any ideas on how to stop bloody procrastinating, jot them down and I'll look at them later!).

I am competitive, possessive, egotistical and vain. These each root in old self esteem issues from when I was younger, and I have worked very hard for my whole adult life to heal my old wounds in order to correct these traits. It's an ongoing process.

I beat myself up over every little thing. I feel guilty about things even when it makes no sense to. At the end of the day, I usually weed through my actions and conversations of the day and want to pound my head into a wall. I'm getting better at it though. My friends are really helping me out. I'm learning to just tell myself that it happened, I said it, I did it, there's nothing I can do about it now. Or to to keep it simple, I say: "Fuck it." Seriously "fuck it" works in so many situations. "I can't believe I said that today. Why the hell did I--- ah whatever, fuck it."

Quote from: "weedoch"(and if anyone has any ideas on how to stop bloody procrastinating, jot them down and I'll look at them later!).

I used to procrastinate like I was being paid for it. There's no real recipe to get out of it. I found out I like to sleep. That helped me a bit. I still procrastinate, but not so much. I play mind games with myself. Whenever I need to do something, (let's say practicing for my clarinet test), I make myself get up the minute (second, millisecond) that the idea enters my head, before I get the chance to talk myself out of it or make excuses or just remain on my ass. It's way harder than it sounds, but I'm getting better at it. I try not to think about how much I don't want to do it and just make myself. Mind over matter in a sense. Bleh, gross just thinking about it.

I'm more lazy than a procrastinator. (There is a difference.) I'll usually let things slide until they really need doing.

As for helping a procrastinator - you've probably heard all of the things before: prioritize, lists of things - from ease to difficulty, importance, or in a time-frame - they all work if you want them to.

If I know I have a lot to do (and being a teacher that includes a whole lot of really useless crap) I find that if I make myself get it out of the way ASAP so I don't have to worry about it.

I over analyze everything...I'm always repeating things over and over in my head thinking about what I should have said or done.Then I beat myself up over it because I clearly shouldn't have said what I did and am always thinking about how to correct it.Plus I have a bit of OCD which I believe was passed down from my mother and her mother.Which I am trying hard to work on because it is impossible to keep things clean when living with 3 men.

I'm clumsy (I've knocked over 3 drinks in the last 4 days... ruined some Pokemon cards in the process!).
I'm forgettful (left the water on in Mom's pool twice during our visit and flooded her lawn).
I'm lazy (REALLY need to clean the toilets this weekend!).
I'm a procrastinator (REALLY need to get back to studying!!!).

I think that's about it.  

A very personal question... (gotta love the anonymous nature of the internets)...

I have a very high expectation of humanity.. but only if I'm not around people, watch TV, or partake of anything of the news media... honestly, the constant let downs are exhausting.

Quote from: "Jolly Sapper"A very personal question... (gotta love the anonymous nature of the internets)...

I have a very high expectation of humanity.. but only if I'm not around people, watch TV, or partake of anything of the news media... honestly, the constant let downs are exhausting.

Wow, my husband could have written that.  He takes a break from the news every 3 or 4 months (on one right now) because he gets so pissed, he's hard to live with.  The world constantly lets him down.  (Heck, me too.)

Everything comes easy to me but I'm not good at caring or trying about anything in particular.

Oh my god - I've just realised I have just about every single one of the bad traits except OCD, which I could probably do with for a couple of days! Although on reflection as none of the traits listed include racist, bigotted, mean, bullying, greedy, incurious, selfish, smelly or murderous I think as a group we're doing quite well... I've started another thread to cheer everyone up after this one.

My worse trait is that my mind wonders off when people talk around the bush. I find it very difficult concentrate when people don't give me direct and concise information. Maybe that's why I hate office meetings and politicians so much. I also have to fight my tendency to procrastinate and I'm very impatient when things don't work out the way it should or when people don't do what I've asked them to do.

I spend too much time thinking about what I should do and less time actually doing it. Also I am too worried about saying the wrong thing in public. It is such an extreme that I end up not talking because I either don’t want to seem ignorant or offensive.

I guess I should just not care, but I would hate the awkward stares.

I can be very lazy.

I don’t like many people.

I have the worst memory on the planet.

That’s about it.

Im silent. Very silent even when I dont want to, I donno what to say
plus i might get selfish sometimes and
spellings. I type so fast and always forget to double check before I post

I let perfectionism get out of hand sometimes.  Sometimes I waste too much time and effort perfecting whatever I'm working on, when it doesn't have to be perfect.  In some cases, if I know I can't do something perfect, I don't even try.  I sometimes offend others when I critique what they are doing, if I think they are not doing it the right way.  I am getting better at reminding myself that things don't have to be perfect.  Sometimes people should be left alone to do things the "wrong way".

I try too hard to be nice, and end up getting stuck in the "friend" zone with most girls.

I know, it sounds weird, but thats how it happens.

Ooh! Where do I begin..?  

Let's see... I'm selfish, demanding, somewhat arrogant and utterly paranoid... Which one is the worst, I don't know.

Quote from: "Jolly Sapper"A very personal question... (gotta love the anonymous nature of the internets)...

Yes, a very personal question.  Yet i don't get to be anonymous since I do know some people who post here in 'real life.'

I have found that it is difficult for me to pin point both my faults and my strengths.  I was actually asked to think of my strengths and weaknesses (other than obvious things like simply needing to keep learning; which is an ongoing process) by my supervisor and basically just told him that I was unable to really define them.  Being a reasonable guy, he said, "okay, so that's something we can work on."

I think that if i hadn't been so tired when I was having to think of these things, I would have listed my being shy as a weakness.  I was always a shy kid and have been working very hard to break out of that box.  I still feel very uncomfortable speaking in large groups...which is kinda ironic since I'm organizing an atheist meetup.  Being shy is also a problem with work because I will eventually have to be able to give presentations to clients.  My being shy causes me to clam up when I really do know what I'm talking about.  But, like I said, I"m working on it and have made a lot of progress.  My goal is to be one of those people who can be described as outgoing and I know I can reach that goal.  My main problem is that I am overly concerned with saying something stupid.  The older I get the more I realize that it's not so bad if you do happen to screw up every now and then.  

Another fault, not work related (well, not directly), I have a hard time controlling my weight.  I was a fat kid and that resulted in self esteem issues.  I think I've more or less over those self esteem issues now because I can look at myself and be okay with how I look, even if I'm not perfect or look as good as I could.  Emotional eating is my main problem and I have worked very hard to get that under control.  I also no longer eat sweets, something which use to be a staple food choice.  Nonetheless, I'm still chubbier than I would like because I don't try hard enough to stick to healthy eating and exercise.  I see this as a long term problem that I need to fix with baby steps.  I am on the right track now because my goal is more related to healthy living than it is to a goal weight.  Still, it is a fault since I do know what I am capable of doing yet can't get the energy together to really pursue it as effectively as I could (ex, I'm just too tired to exercise most days even though i know that if I exercise my energy level will increase).  On the upside, I have lost 10 lbs since around March just by being more aware of how much I am eating and avoiding eating if I am not hungry.  

Another fault, I do talk about people negatively behind their backs (if it is warranted) but have problems approaching them in person.  Sometimes talking about people when they aren't there is necessary; like at work where you need to discuss poor performance and how to fix the issue.  Why I say that...I have a friend who I went to school with and we have been fairly close who came to work at the firm where I also work.  But now her performance at work has been sub-par to the point that I have had to discuss it with those above me who have also noticed the issue.  While it is important that I be able to openly discuss work concerns with my supervisors, I also feel that I am betraying her trust by doing so.  So, maybe this isn't so much a fault, but an issue.  Faults are things you can fix; I can't not talk about her since my job requires it and it is necessary for me to do my job well.  I could go on about this for a while because the whole situation is really bothering me; I'm starting to regret suggesting she apply here (she needed a job and had not gotten offers due to being pregnant at the time)....so I'll leave it at that.  

Well, I could go on.  Since part of how I try to better myself is by being aware of my flaws, I can make a pretty long list.  I think the above more than covers my key problems.  Being that these are things I am working on (don't be afraid to offer advice) I don't mind sharing.

laetusatheos congrats on losing weight.Just remember it takes time alot longer then most people think to lose the amount you want.I was myself 50 lbs heavier a few years ago.It was and is a struggle to eat right and avoid the oh so yummy snack section.The thing that helped me most was remembering that even some fast food can be healthier like salads,broiled chicken and such.I didn't do any crash diets those are total BS and get you no where.I started out slowly walking once finally to 4 times a week.I use to eat alot when I was bored or lonely.Having a buddy helps a ton to.

Me 4 years ago. (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi245.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg63%2Fcook125%2FFamilyGetTogethers%2FJuly4th%2F100_0671-1-1.jpg&hash=c59c9b21625654ddc11b78bb1578cc5b181d67a0)

Me now. (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi308.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fkk328%2F5afreethinker30%2Ff5d18730-a523-11dc-ad2e-b3c45e4fb9c.jpg&hash=167c6674a4024431b942e1ba526589bc80129aec)

Quote from: "afreethinker30"laetusatheos congrats on losing weight.Just remember it takes time alot longer then most people think to lose the amount you want.I was myself 50 lbs heavier a few years ago.It was and is a struggle to eat right and avoid the oh so yummy snack section.The thing that helped me most was remembering that even some fast food can be healthier like salads,broiled chicken and such.I didn't do any crash diets those are total BS and get you no where.I started out slowly walking once finally to 4 times a week.I use to eat alot when I was bored or lonely.Having a buddy helps a ton to.

Me 4 years ago. (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi245.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg63%2Fcook125%2FFamilyGetTogethers%2FJuly4th%2F100_0671-1-1.jpg&hash=c59c9b21625654ddc11b78bb1578cc5b181d67a0)

Oh, man! Not only were you heavier four years ago, but that facial hair was just really bad! I'm so happy to see the change in you! Also, I hope you got rid of that shirt with the sailboats on it. It's a little bit 1980s.  

P.S. One of my numerous bad traits may be being a smartass.

Quote from: "McQ"

Quote from: "afreethinker30"laetusatheos congrats on losing weight.Just remember it takes time alot longer then most people think to lose the amount you want.I was myself 50 lbs heavier a few years ago.It was and is a struggle to eat right and avoid the oh so yummy snack section.The thing that helped me most was remembering that even some fast food can be healthier like salads,broiled chicken and such.I didn't do any crash diets those are total BS and get you no where.I started out slowly walking once finally to 4 times a week.I use to eat alot when I was bored or lonely.Having a buddy helps a ton to.

Me 4 years ago. (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi245.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg63%2Fcook125%2FFamilyGetTogethers%2FJuly4th%2F100_0671-1-1.jpg&hash=c59c9b21625654ddc11b78bb1578cc5b181d67a0)

Oh, man! Not only were you heavier four years ago, but that facial hair was just really bad! I'm so happy to see the change in you! Also, I hope you got rid of that shirt with the sailboats on it. It's a little bit 1980s.  roflol  Yes I've had some laser done to rid me of the awful facial hair.But still have the sailboat shirt.

I'm a little schizoid, I think. With forums I'm fine because it's just words on a screen but real, fleshy people are very off putting to me. I tend to assume that they're morons until they prove otherwise. Consequently I usually get interpreted as being quite a cold, insensitive, aloof and/or generally indifferent person, at best. I'm able to talk to strangers well enough but I let absolutely nothing on; I express very little real emotion, I don't tell them anything about myself, I let them do most of the talking and I maintain constant, deliberate eye contact to make them feel uncomfortable and hopefully make them go away. This happens instinctively and I can't really help it. People do occasionally get quite frustrated when talking to me and it's always amusing to see their confused little furrowed brows. This usually happens when they've said something deliberately controversial with the intent of inciting some emotional reaction, or when they're trying to be subtly intimidating (ie. talking about past fights that they've been in to demonstrate how hard-as-nails they are). I'm always outwardly unmoved, which isn't at all the reaction that people like that want. Others perceive my characteristic indifference as an opportunity to regale me with all of their secret insecurities and deep perversions. I think they assume that I don't care about anything so therefore I wont be judgemental. Eg. Four separate people, on four separate occasions, have admitted to me that they're paedophiles. And they were right, to be honest: I found myself not giving a hoot. I don't even remember any of their names.

One good thing about that, though, is that it really does filter out the possibility of getting close to idiots. It keeps a nice distance - the size of the grand canyon - between me and lesser being. Intelligent people can figure me out and cross the canyon without much difficulty & as a result, my friends are quite a peculiar elite from extremely varied backgrounds.

Quote from: "Mister Joy"I usually get interpreted as being quite a cold, insensitive, aloof and/or generally indifferent person, at best.

Oh... Right... There was that... Add that to my list of bad traits.  

Even when I attempt political correctness, I often get labeled cold and insensitive.

My worst trait:  I'm a control freak with a bit of a temper.  Most of the time I am able to keep my temper under control, but occasionally it sneaks out and bites people in the ass.  They never appreciate it.  

I have other bad traits, but then again don't we all.

Picking my nose with my other people's fingers - or is that a habit instead of a trait?
Seriously though, I'm in the same boat with you, procrastinating.
Kicks my ass constantly.
When I was a christian I thought it was a sin (anyone remember that Pet Shop Boys song called "Its a Sin"?).
Now its just an annoying trait that I haven't gotten around to taking care of.
Adios.

Oh I know a pretty bad one ALL of us here have: we are all over critical of ourselves. Oh woes is us, we all have a terrible case of the "being humans!"

I'm absent-minded at times, short-sighted at times, ignorant at times, foolish at times, and lazy almost all of the time. I'm not quite sure which is the worst one. Maybe I'll figure it out later.  

Quote from: "monkeyNutBread"Oh I know a pretty bad one ALL of us here have: we are all over critical of ourselves. Oh woes is us, we all have a terrible case of the "being humans!"

Actually, I'm awesome, so...

Quote from: "monkeyNutBread"I'm absent-minded at times, short-sighted at times, ignorant at times, foolish at times, and lazy almost all of the time. I'm not quite sure which is the worst one. Maybe I'll figure it out later.  

Check, check, check, check, CHECK. I feel ya, bruddah.

I'm a procrastinator too, but I've been working hard on that trait.  I'm also lazy at times, but nowadays I plan ahead for lazy days, which are usually on the weekends, so that I can be a lazy bum for a couple of days and not feel guilty because I got everything done during the week.

Probably one of my worst traits is that I can be very intolerant.  I get really frustrated dealing with stupidity and ignorance.  This has come on as I've gotten older, and I have horrible visions of me becoming some mean gray-haired old lady whacking people on the head with a cane.  Naturally a lot of this comes out when dealing with overly religious people.  At my work someone had a habit of taping stupid little gratuitous Christian sayings and comics on the refrigerator.  That really annoyed me.  So one day when I came in early I ripped them all off and taped a sign on the fridge that said, "Either put God on salary or leave him at home."  It caused quite an uproar (which I enjoyed immensely) but they never figured out it was me.

Normally I really don't care what people believe as long as they don't proselytize or preach at me.  And I do enjoy a good discussion or debate.  So that's a problem that I am trying very hard to correct.