. . . a chocolate teapot.
That is an old one, but I heard one that was new to me today, "As much use as a carpet fitter's ladder."
Any more? Ones you have heard, ones you have made up? Ancient, silly or topical!
Always the best:
(Audio not remotely safe for work)
tits on a boar.
Fishnet condom.
A spring made of chewing gum.
Budwiser.
A wet match.
A fish scale to Mozart.
A Dutch soccer team.
A metric spanner in America.
... an inflatable dartboard.
... a pea to a Tiger.
'You are about as much use to me as a hole in the head, an affliction with which you must be familiar, never having had a brain.'
Can anyone here guess who said that?
I thought it was, but had to check...
Spoiler
Blackadder
I could "hear" the voice as I read it!
Quote from: Gloucester on February 26, 2017, 04:33:09 PM
I thought it was, but had to check...
Spoiler
Blackadder
I could "hear" the voice as I read it!
Funny, because I can hear the voice in my head too, butt I figured fans would probably get it right away...anyway good job even if it did take you a long time :P
Quote from: Father Bruno on February 26, 2017, 05:23:34 PM
Quote from: Gloucester on February 26, 2017, 04:33:09 PM
I thought it was, but had to check...
Spoiler
Blackadder
I could "hear" the voice as I read it!
Funny, because I can hear the voice in my head too, butt I figured fans would probably get it right away...anyway good job even if it did take you a long time :P
It has been many years since I last saw him. Haven't had a TV licence for over 10 years now and never bought the videos.
Quote from: Tank on February 26, 2017, 08:31:06 AM
A metric spanner in America.
Please be advised that any US automotive tech worth his title has a most comprehensive set of metric spanners (wrenches) Every vehicle has metric fasteners even the American brands. I have had metric spanners for more than 50 years. I worked on German, Italian, Austrian, Swiss, and Japanese motorcycles. I also worked on Brit bikes which needed Whitworth spanners that were neither Imperial or metric.
Whitworth hexagonal standards measured from corner to corner rather than the more sensible across the flats dimension. That is not all.....the damnable Whitworth threads had a different geometry than any other normally used form in the world. There is more.....The gauge standards for sheet metal and wires of the Brit way of measuring were and may still remain different from other international standards. In addition Brits still express their bodyweight in terms of stone.......WTF??
Hey, just teasing Tank. ;)
Down with the capital!
Quote from: Icarus on February 27, 2017, 12:32:03 AM
Quote from: Tank on February 26, 2017, 08:31:06 AM
A metric spanner in America.
Please be advised that any US automotive tech worth his title has a most comprehensive set of metric spanners (wrenches) Every vehicle has metric fasteners even the American brands. I have had metric spanners for more than 50 years. I worked on German, Italian, Austrian, Swiss, and Japanese motorcycles. I also worked on Brit bikes which needed Whitworth spanners that were neither Imperial or metric.
Whitworth hexagonal standards measured from corner to corner rather than the more sensible across the flats dimension. That is not all.....the damnable Whitworth threads had a different geometry than any other normally used form in the world. There is more.....The gauge standards for sheet metal and wires of the Brit way of measuring were and may still remain different from other international standards. In addition Brits still express their bodyweight in terms of stone.......WTF??
Hey, just teasing Tank. ;)
:hooked: :grin:
"...a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest".
Quote from: Guardian85 on February 28, 2017, 02:16:16 PM
"...a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest".
I bet a one-legged man could still kick someone in the ass. Try it, stand on one leg, and then jump up and kick with the standing leg.
Might not be an ideal ass-kicker, but surely can kick some ass.
How about an ass-less man in an arse-kicking contest?
Screen door on a submarine...
... as the pope's danglers.
... as a PHD in gender studies.
...me trying to post in this thread.
...a water gun in a forest fire.
^ :thumbsup: