That question from my 8 year old. Somebody suggest a creative answer for me please. ;D
I think that when it comes to those kinds of questions, the best way to handle it is by asking, "Why do you think your wiener gets big?" Depending on the answer, go from there. This helps you get an idea of how much they know about the subject, what they've been told, what they've heard, etc. I think some kids joke about it at school, they're not sure if it's true, so they ask us because they want to verify it. ;)
I think this was just a case of morning wood due to having to pee. He was trying to figure out why sometimes is small and sometimes big. It was pretty funny cuz he was so serious with the question. I just tried to blow it off real quick telling him sometimes that happens when ya gotta pee. Lmao
Yes, I forgot to take into consideration their age. ;D
My five year old son has even "showed" me, I guess...just in case I don't believe him. :o
:picard facepalm:
:grin:
Every man has two heads. There's only enough blood for one at a time. So it means you're getting dumber
;D
(plagiarized from "Coupling")
Quote from: Firebird on August 09, 2016, 06:05:01 PM
Every man has two heads. There's only enough blood for one at a time. So it means you're getting dumber
;D
(plagiarized from "Coupling")
Really enjoyed Coupling, best smutty humour ever!
Quote from: Firebird on August 09, 2016, 06:05:01 PM
Every man has two heads. There's only enough blood for one at a time. So it means you're getting dumber
;D
(plagiarized from "Coupling")
That might be the ticket right there. Much better responses here than what I'm getting from the guys at work. Like "tell him it means it's time to bang bitches and get money!".
Ok, ya that'll work.
Quote from: Steeler on August 09, 2016, 11:27:07 PM
Quote from: Firebird on August 09, 2016, 06:05:01 PM
Every man has two heads. There's only enough blood for one at a time. So it means you're getting dumber
;D
(plagiarized from "Coupling")
That might be the ticket right there. Much better responses here than what I'm getting from the guys at work. Like "tell him it means it's time to bang bitches and get money!".
Ok, ya that'll work.
:eyeroll:
Oh boy!
I'm generally of the mind that if a kid is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an honest answer. Obviously you don't need to pull out some hardcore porn for him, but I'd be straight forward. Giving overly creative answers that skirt the facts just leaves them misinformed and wondering what is actually going on, and if their peers are talking to them about it they're liable to end up grossly misinformed.
I'd had "the talk" by 9. I had to put together that babies come from a woman's belly, and that people planned this, so obviously it was not a spontaneous thing where you just start growing a baby one day. I remember because I was extremely perplexed and then didn't understand why everyone kinda freaked out and wouldn't just answer. I just wanted details.
Quote from: Pasta Chick on August 10, 2016, 12:33:08 AM
I'm generally of the mind that if a kid is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an honest answer. Obviously you don't need to pull out some hardcore porn for him, but I'd be straight forward. Giving overly creative answers that skirt the facts just leaves them misinformed and wondering what is actually going on, and if their peers are talking to them about it they're liable to end up grossly misinformed.
I'd had "the talk" by 9. I had to put together that babies come from a woman's belly, and that people planned this, so obviously it was not a spontaneous thing where you just start growing a baby one day. I remember because I was extremely perplexed and then didn't understand why everyone kinda freaked out and wouldn't just answer. I just wanted details.
I actually agree with this, even though it means my answer loses. He'll learn eventually anyway, right?
Quote from: Firebird on August 10, 2016, 03:43:22 AM
Quote from: Pasta Chick on August 10, 2016, 12:33:08 AM
I'm generally of the mind that if a kid is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get an honest answer. Obviously you don't need to pull out some hardcore porn for him, but I'd be straight forward. Giving overly creative answers that skirt the facts just leaves them misinformed and wondering what is actually going on, and if their peers are talking to them about it they're liable to end up grossly misinformed.
I'd had "the talk" by 9. I had to put together that babies come from a woman's belly, and that people planned this, so obviously it was not a spontaneous thing where you just start growing a baby one day. I remember because I was extremely perplexed and then didn't understand why everyone kinda freaked out and wouldn't just answer. I just wanted details.
I actually agree with this, even though it means my answer loses. He'll learn eventually anyway, right?
I think I'm sticking with a blood flow answer. For now. I mean, I can't have "the talk" just yet with a kid still wearing transformer underwear. Lol
^^^
:lol:
The Lego Star Wars are pretty cool and popular. ;D
He has those too! ;D
As was pointed out before, I subscribe to honesty being the correct approach.
A crash course in human anatomy and... Take it from there ;)
Quote from: Asmodean on August 10, 2016, 01:00:59 PM
As was pointed out before, I subscribe to honesty being the correct approach.
A crash course in human anatomy and... Take it from there ;)
The only drawback to this is that kids talk in school. If you tell your kid be damn sure you have the fall back plan for when the other kids parents shun you at the next school visit for 'despoiling my little Jane/John!' ;D
Screaming obscenities in their face. Would that work? ;D
If not, you could try accusing them of child abuse by willful miseducation.
If that fails, refer to step one, I guess..?
Seriously, though, I see your point and I despise the fact that I do. I also absolutely detest saying what I'm about to say, but I do fully stand by it; this ought not be an issue in the first place.
Some kid has to be first, though. And I guess it's somewhat dependent on the kid... My parents told me not to run my mouth off at school, so I didn't. My best friend at the time got "the talk" just a few months after I did, and wanted to discuss in detail. Of course she knew a lot of older kids too and I was not the first one she talked to, and there was some pretty wild stuff mixed in there. My parents also told me that would likely happen and to bring any questions back to them if something didn't sound right, so I did.
Also related - if he's a reader, and more so reading above his grade level, he's going to learn a lot from books. My friends had passages in junior lit highlighted for sharing by 9 or 10. I read The Basketball Diaries around the same age and was reading adult lit shortly after... I read pretty much anything I could get my hands on, which included some of those weird Fabio-covered "romances" from the 80s. Much of which was likely even less healthy than talking to peers, between all the actual rape, non-con and slumming it with randos on drugs.
Also I would wear Trasfomers underwear all. Day. Long. I should open an etsy shop making dorky sexy undies - that'd probably do really well.
Quote from: Tank on August 10, 2016, 01:09:29 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on August 10, 2016, 01:00:59 PM
As was pointed out before, I subscribe to honesty being the correct approach.
A crash course in human anatomy and... Take it from there ;)
The only drawback to this is that kids talk in school. If you tell your kid be damn sure you have the fall back plan for when the other kids parents shun you at the next school visit for 'despoiling my little Jane/John!' ;D
Exactly my fear! Understand that my child has a vocabulary that must include at least one of the following words per sentence:
Fart
Poop
Butt
Wiener
Quote from: Steeler on August 10, 2016, 08:24:15 PM
Quote from: Tank on August 10, 2016, 01:09:29 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on August 10, 2016, 01:00:59 PM
As was pointed out before, I subscribe to honesty being the correct approach.
A crash course in human anatomy and... Take it from there ;)
The only drawback to this is that kids talk in school. If you tell your kid be damn sure you have the fall back plan for when the other kids parents shun you at the next school visit for 'despoiling my little Jane/John!' ;D
Exactly my fear! Understand that my child has a vocabulary that must include at least one of the following words per sentence:
Fart
Poop
Butt
Wiener
You're deep in the shit. Good luck :rofl:
Quote from: Steeler on August 10, 2016, 08:24:15 PM
Quote from: Tank on August 10, 2016, 01:09:29 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on August 10, 2016, 01:00:59 PM
As was pointed out before, I subscribe to honesty being the correct approach.
A crash course in human anatomy and... Take it from there ;)
The only drawback to this is that kids talk in school. If you tell your kid be damn sure you have the fall back plan for when the other kids parents shun you at the next school visit for 'despoiling my little Jane/John!' ;D
Exactly my fear! Understand that my child has a vocabulary that must include at least one of the following words per sentence:
Fart
Poop
Butt
Wiener
Truly blessed by The Asmo, that one. :)
Teach him that virtually any noun in plural can mean boobs, knockers, melons, bells, etc if you say it in a certain way and/or context. ;D
Also, a rich vocabulary is a good vocabulary. May The Asmo recommend expanding the list of commonly referenced bodily fluids and organs producing such? ;D
QuoteTeach him that virtually any noun in plural can mean boobs, knockers, melons, bells, etc if you say it in a certain way and/or context.
"Wow! Just watch those asmos bobble!"
Hmm, naw, doesn't work for me.
"Fine pair of tanks those."
Better.
Transformers underwear or not, IMO it's best he hears about sex from you. My father's cousin, who was 15 at the time, told me when I was around your son's age and I remember thinking it was all very strange and feeling stupid for believing that babies were bought in warehouse stores. :lol:
Quote from: Steeler on August 09, 2016, 05:58:39 AM
I think this was just a case of morning wood due to having to pee. He was trying to figure out why sometimes is small and sometimes big. It was pretty funny cuz he was so serious with the question. I just tried to blow it off real quick telling him sometimes that happens when ya gotta pee. Lmao
So now you've created a taboo around the subject and let him know that he can't trust you for an honest answer.
In my experience with an 8 y/o boy (about 4 years ago) absolute honesty is an immunisation against playground bullshit. So when the dicks at school start talking about stuff that
their parents didn't/won't explain, your son can be in total control.
I have nothing but positive things to say about honesty in matters that most consider taboo - drugs, sex, violence, rape, profanity... If a question is asked he gets an honest answer. And I know that he has the confidence to ask me anything. I know this because he does so frequently and it's very comforting to know he's getting the right answers to the difficult questions that preteens like to ponder.
Quote from: Asmodean on August 10, 2016, 01:00:59 PM
As was pointed out before, I subscribe to honesty being the correct approach.
A crash course in human anatomy and... Take it from there ;)
100%
Quote from: Gloucester on August 10, 2016, 10:02:50 PM
"Wow! Just watch those asmos bobble!"
Wrong context, you see. "...shriveled old Asmos..."
...Better, yes? Also, The Asmo is technically a verb. It Works, but in Grayly-Divine ways.
Quote
"Fine pair of tanks those."
A
fine pair. (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Forig06.deviantart.net%2F51f2%2Ff%2F2009%2F033%2F6%2F0%2Femoticon___animated_nod_by_shaeffer007.gif&hash=37473184527dc847edf433b33608be1fbfdc8c03) Yes, that works, see? :D
Ok I see that the majority here is for honesty. No problem with that, but I don't believe I have been dishonest with him in any way. It is absolutely true that his woody can be the result of needing to pee. I just stopped there, for now.
I'm actually very surprised that many of you think I should go with the sex talk. This little guy is NOT ready for that yet, and it's not just me being naive about it. :o
You guys and gals are awesome!
Honestly? I would get him this:
It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763613215/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_D8-QxbEK28PJT
That's what my mom gave me, so it's OB nurse approved. It explains pretty much everything in a mature but still child friendly way.
Quote from: Steeler on August 11, 2016, 03:09:13 AM
This little guy is NOT ready for that yet, and it's not just me being naive about it. :o
Well... Neither was I ready to watch Terminator at the age of about six. I didn't get it and quickly lost interest.
I think it can be... Not dishonest, per se, but beside the point to claim that a kid is too young for A or not ready for B. Human sexuality and death are probably the more commonly known examples of issues where such views are prevailent. Bad language is another good one.
When it comes to sex, being honest with a kid about it... Where's the harm? Especially if the kid is years away from having any sort of sex drive of his own? He'll most likely be mildly creeped out by the whole concept and quickly lose interest. When his time comes, however, be it at thirteen or thirty, he will be one of the informed crowd. That's both safer and, arguably, more pleasurable a niche to occupy when debuting in pretty much anything, let along something as essential to most of our lives as sex.
I can cover death and foul-mouthing too, but it goes on the same set of rails. Not having the capacity to understand (and utilize) something is not in itself a hindrance to being
informed about it.
Quote
You guys and gals are awesome!
Yep. 8)
Quote from: Steeler on August 11, 2016, 03:09:13 AM
Ok I see that the majority here is for honesty. No problem with that, but I don't believe I have been dishonest with him in any way. It is absolutely true that his woody can be the result of needing to pee. I just stopped there, for now.
I'm actually very surprised that many of you think I should go with the sex talk. This little guy is NOT ready for that yet, and it's not just me being naive about it. :o
You guys and gals are awesome!
Having had to do 'The talk' three times the bit that I think you should consider is you don't have to do the whole talk all at once.
You could simply go as far as. 'When you're all grown up it gets bigger to help make babies. At the moment its just practising. Don't fret. Its happens to all boys and it's perfectly normal.'
I think the wisely-turreted one is onto something there, I think.
Quote from: Asmodean on August 11, 2016, 02:05:49 PM
I think the wisely-turreted one is onto something there, I think.
For some reason I read that as "weasely-turreted". :???:
I need more coffee.... :reading:
Quote from: Guardian85 on August 11, 2016, 07:04:16 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on August 11, 2016, 02:05:49 PM
I think the wisely-turreted one is onto something there, I think.
For some reason I read that as "weasely-turreted". :???:
I need more coffee.... :reading:
Because The Asmo is God and He can make words appear to mean pretty much the opposite of what they
do.
...It's a popular subliminal messenging technique among the godkind. But The Asmo invented it. And they's stole it. And He shall smite, see if He shall not. >:(
Quote from: Tank on August 11, 2016, 12:39:42 PM
Quote from: Steeler on August 11, 2016, 03:09:13 AM
Ok I see that the majority here is for honesty. No problem with that, but I don't believe I have been dishonest with him in any way. It is absolutely true that his woody can be the result of needing to pee. I just stopped there, for now.
I'm actually very surprised that many of you think I should go with the sex talk. This little guy is NOT ready for that yet, and it's not just me being naive about it. :o
You guys and gals are awesome!
Having had to do 'The talk' three times the bit that I think you should consider is you don't have to do the whole talk all at once.
You could simply go as far as. 'When you're all grown up it gets bigger to help make babies. At the moment its just practising. Don't fret. Its happens to all boys and it's perfectly normal.'
Couldn't agree more Wise Turret. I always wondered why our son came to me and not Mr Mae with his Qs about sex, but I think it was because, lovely tho he is, he does tend to use 100 words where 10 will do. I also just answered each Q honestly and made use of books to ensure accuracy.
Quote from: Steeler on August 11, 2016, 03:09:13 AM
Ok I see that the majority here is for honesty. No problem with that, but I don't believe I have been dishonest with him in any way. It is absolutely true that his woody can be the result of needing to pee.
Is it? Relating erections to needing to pee - now there's a neurosis in the making.
Quote from: SteelerI'm actually very surprised that many of you think I should go with the sex talk. This little guy is NOT ready for that yet, and it's not just me being naive about it. :o
Not ready for what? Knowledge about his body that he has specifically asked you for...?
Quote from: Siz on August 12, 2016, 01:43:01 AM
Quote from: Steeler on August 11, 2016, 03:09:13 AM
Ok I see that the majority here is for honesty. No problem with that, but I don't believe I have been dishonest with him in any way. It is absolutely true that his woody can be the result of needing to pee.
Is it? Relating erections with needing to pee - now there's a neurosis in the making.
Quote from: SteelerI'm actually very surprised that many of you think I should go with the sex talk. This little guy is NOT ready for that yet, and it's not just me being naive about it. :o
Not ready for what? Knowledge about his body that he has specifically asked you for...?
Well everyone knows of morning wood. I don't know about your weenie, but mine tends to enlarge when I gots to go real bad, and always accompanies morning wood.
Also I might need to try and re word the way this question was asked by my boy.
It wasn't a serious sit down with dad type of question, but more of a joking hey look at my wiener kind of thing. Hes a joker, and it was one more way for him to use one of his favorite words. If you would have been in the room, I think you would understand.
I didn't mislead him in any way.
I started this thread as more if a humor thing than anything else.
The wife and I have talked about each of the replies in this thread also! Thanks for all of the input seriously!
Yeah, I know exactly the demeanour of an 8y/o boy with penis interest...! Humour is, of course, also the easier way for a parent to approach these issues.
But continuing to play the straight man (because I actually feel quite strongly about it), I ask: would you feel the need to employ the same tactics when discussing (for example) the process of digestion? Why not? Why are erections funny and digestion not so much? (though I do concede that farting is ALWAYS funny...). The point is that it is the parent that brings the awkwardness to the table which translates in kind to a child. Giving 'special' energy to a specific biological function can only set that apart from everything else. Is that a desirable message for a child?
Quote from: Siz on August 12, 2016, 03:12:51 AM
Yeah, I know exactly the demeanour of an 8y/o boy with penis interest...! Humour is, of course, also the easier way for a parent to approach these issues.
But continuing to play the straight man (because I actually feel quite strongly about it), I ask: would you feel the need to employ the same tactics when discussing (for example) the process of digestion? Why not? Why are erections funny and digestion not so much? (though I do concede that farting is ALWAYS funny...). The point is that it is the parent that brings the awkwardness to the table which translates in kind to a child. Giving 'special' energy to a specific biological function can only set that apart from everything else. Is that a desirable message for a child?
Would it be the same for a 4 year old? 5? I would have no problem teaching digestion to a 4 year old, but the purpose of an erection? No way. I think maturity plays a large role here.
Quote from: Steeler on August 12, 2016, 03:41:02 AM
Would it be the same for a 4 year old? 5? I would have no problem teaching digestion to a 4 year old, but the purpose of an erection? No way. I think maturity plays a large role here.
There are two parts to answering a question; the message and the delivery. Changing the first to something untrue is dishonest however you slice it and regardless of who the answer is directed at. The second part is what you DO change based on the recepient's maturity, education, demeanor... Whatever other factors you may want to apply.
Quote from: Asmodean on August 12, 2016, 06:26:46 AM
Quote from: Steeler on August 12, 2016, 03:41:02 AM
Would it be the same for a 4 year old? 5? I would have no problem teaching digestion to a 4 year old, but the purpose of an erection? No way. I think maturity plays a large role here.
There are two parts to answering a question; the message and the delivery. Changing the first to something untrue is dishonest however you slice it and regardless of who the answer is directed at. The second part is what you DO change based on the recepient's maturity, education, demeanor... Whatever other factors you may want to apply.
I get ya. But when there is more than 1 honest answer to the question, giving an honest answer that the recipient is ready to handle isn't being dishonest.
Of course. That's down to delivery, and we all do it in different circumstances. I wouldn't say that there are necessarilly several honest answers though, as sometimes there are not (like in the purpose of erection example, you can't really avoid reproduction and remain honest) but there are ways of delivering it suitable for different recipients.
A slightly bad but illustrative example; if my Ethiopian neighbor who doesn't know the enter key from the space bar asks me why her WiFi doesn't work when she sits outside, I don't give her a lecture on advanced networking, explain the difference between a LAN and an extended LAN/WAN or signal penetration through concrete and wood, which I might have done had someone on my team at work asked me that question. I simply tell her that her laptop is talking to the spidery-looking thing on the corridor ceiling, and if the distance between them gets too great, one (or both) may not hear the other. Same happens when the walls get too thick or too many.
Actually, a quick Google exposes a truth about erections surpressing urination. Can't say I ever remember experiencing that myself but maybe it's more a childhood thing. Reflex erections (as opposed to psychogenic erections) are thought to be an anti-bed-wetting mechanism.
This particular fact is also an evolutionary mechanism to help ease the burden of parental explanations... apparently...
Quote from: Siz on August 14, 2016, 12:42:02 AM
Actually, a quick Google exposes a truth about erections surpressing urination. Can't say I ever remember experiencing that myself but maybe it's more a childhood thing. Reflex erections (as opposed to psychogenic erections) are thought to be an anti-bed-wetting mechanism.
This particular fact is also an evolutionary mechanism to help ease the burden of parental explanations... apparently...
Oh yes, I agree. Trying to pee with a woody is hard as hell. Pun intended. He he.
In true HAF fashion this thread has went WAY deeper than I imagined. ;D
Quote from: Steeler on August 14, 2016, 01:18:39 AM
In true HAF fashion this thread has went WAY deeper than I imagined. ;D
Is what we do. Good thread.
Quote from: Steeler on August 14, 2016, 01:18:39 AM
In true HAF fashion this thread has went WAY deeper than I imagined. ;D
Well, the gold rarely lies on the surface, you have to dig a bit!
Quote
In true HAF fashion this thread has went WAY deeper than I imagined. ;D
!!!
Quote from: Gloucester on August 14, 2016, 08:55:48 AM
Quote from: Steeler on August 14, 2016, 01:18:39 AM
In true HAF fashion this thread has went WAY deeper than I imagined. ;D
Well, the gold rarely lies on the surface, you have to dig a bit!
Thinks: HAF members often lighten up the deeper stuff as well!
Quote from: Siz on August 14, 2016, 12:42:02 AM
Actually, a quick Google exposes a truth about erections surpressing urination. Can't say I ever remember experiencing that myself but maybe it's more a childhood thing. Reflex erections (as opposed to psychogenic erections) are thought to be an anti-bed-wetting mechanism.
This particular fact is also an evolutionary mechanism to help ease the burden of parental explanations... apparently...
Just keeps me from rolling over in bed. ;)
Quote from: Guardian85 on August 14, 2016, 01:46:52 PM
Quote from: Siz on August 14, 2016, 12:42:02 AM
Actually, a quick Google exposes a truth about erections surpressing urination. Can't say I ever remember experiencing that myself but maybe it's more a childhood thing. Reflex erections (as opposed to psychogenic erections) are thought to be an anti-bed-wetting mechanism.
This particular fact is also an evolutionary mechanism to help ease the burden of parental explanations... apparently...
Just keeps me from rolling over in bed. ;)
:doh:
:lol:
Quote from: Steeler on August 14, 2016, 01:18:39 AM
Oh yes, I agree. Trying to pee with a woody is hard as hell. Pun intended. He he.
In true HAF fashion this thread has went WAY deeper than I imagined. ;D
Hey, it's true! Have to stand back from the toilet and aim carefully because it's impossible to point down. Especially hard at night in the dark.
Quote from: Guardian85 on August 14, 2016, 01:46:52 PM
Quote from: Siz on August 14, 2016, 12:42:02 AM
Actually, a quick Google exposes a truth about erections surpressing urination. Can't say I ever remember experiencing that myself but maybe it's more a childhood thing. Reflex erections (as opposed to psychogenic erections) are thought to be an anti-bed-wetting mechanism.
This particular fact is also an evolutionary mechanism to help ease the burden of parental explanations... apparently...
Just keeps me from rolling over in bed. ;)
But doing so in sleep and stubbing the end . . .
Youch!,
(https://i.imgur.com/ueyeYKt.jpg)
Don't have much of a problem with this these days . . .
The narcisistic young man was trying to come on with the rather older, but still attractive, woman.
"You are too young, I like experience in my men," she responded.
"Hah, I can do anything any old man can do !"
"Really," she replied and called out, "Albert, bring in two buckets."
Old Albert, very old Albert, came in with the buckets.
"Right," said the woman, "Stand there and there with the buckets in front if you, touching your toes." They did as told.
Then the woman did a slow, seductive strip.
"OK," said when standing naked, "pee in the bucket without bending down!"