I did it this time. I really screwed the bible and God over. I don't know how to forgive myself. Here's what happened...
So I was on my way to work and I did the unthinkable, I turned around behind me while driving out of my parking lot. According to Genesis 19:26, God killed an innocent woman for doing so. Isn't God great and merciful? But I did something even more horrid. I was at work and I saw a bunch of sticks on the ground, so I picked them up and put them outside. According to Numbers 15:32-36, I deserve to be stoned to death. Those atheists have no morals, right?
Then I thought, why not help someone to ease my satanic nature. According to 2 Samuel 6:6-7, God kills people for trying to help. This is wonderful a thing to teach to children. But I'm not done, I done the most horrible, awful, sinful thing one can imagine. I do deserve to be in hell forever while the Christians laugh at me roasting.
I was studying the dictionary and saw a new word. I accidentally mispronounced it. God killed a guy for doing so in Judges 12:6. I can't see why people are atheists? It makes no sense.
fuck off
Are we getting atheist Mabus's now?
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 03:22:49 PM
I did it this time. I really screwed the bible and God over. I don't know how to forgive myself. Here's what happened...
Forgive yourself? That's easy. If you find it difficult, however, shouting obscenities at a church might help some... Until some asshole security guard demands that you go do that somewhere else and you are too polite to not let him do his job properly out of pure spite even though you know you can and he can't do much about it, and so you go away muttering to yourself and fuming out of your ears and channel your rage into a furious fit of masturbation which culminates in the mohter of all anger-jerk-ejaculations and lo and behold! You are forgiven.
Quote
So I was on my way to work and I did the unthinkable, I turned around behind me while driving out of my parking lot. According to Genesis 19:26, God killed an innocent woman for doing so. Isn't God great and merciful? But I did something even more horrid. I was at work and I saw a bunch of sticks on the ground, so I picked them up and put them outside. According to Numbers 15:32-36, I deserve to be stoned to death. Those atheists have no morals, right?
Hey, having some asshole deity go all Old Testament on your ass might not be pleasant, but the New Testament crackpots were... Well, worse in one crucial way. So God turned some dude's wife to salt. Well, salt was expensive in those days, making the dude slightly richer than he was before he had a fifty-some kilo bag of salt, which was a good thing for him. Plenty of salt, none of the nagging. And the wife... She was done. If it were up to the New Testament crowd, she'd be roasting in hell until the end of time, because fuck that ungrateful bitch, right?! I'm right, ritght?
Quote
Then I thought, why not help someone to ease my satanic nature. According to 2 Samuel 6:6-7, God kills people for trying to help. This is wonderful a thing to teach to children. But I'm not done, I done the most horrible, awful, sinful thing one can imagine. I do deserve to be in hell forever while the Christians laugh at me roasting.
Yep. Me, I'm applying for the job as a spit turner when I get there. I mean, with so many souls to roast, that has to be pretty secure as employments go.
Quote
I was studying the dictionary and saw a new word. I accidentally mispronounced it. God killed a guy for doing so in Judges 12:6. I can't see why people are atheists? It makes no sense.
Ah! That's because they are sinners in rebelliion against their lord and dominatrix. Come to think of it, is not not knowing that some kind of a deadly sin..? Well, you're really in for it, aren't you. ;)
It's a miracle how his sentence structure has improved.
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 26, 2016, 03:45:39 PM
fuck off
Are we getting atheist Mabus's now?
I thought the post was kind of fun, if only because it made me think of that song about how
QuoteYou know it was her own damn fault
When God turned that bitch to salt
That's the way he used to work back in those days
*The Asmo wanders off in the general direction of out-of-His-office whistling the tune*
:picard facepalm:
Child! What's wrong with you!?
Quote from: Magdalena on July 26, 2016, 06:21:30 PM
:picard facepalm:
Child! What's wrong with you!?
I could venture a guess. I think he's been told all his life that this holy book contains important guidance handed down from the creator of the Universe. He's learned that the book isn't really holy at all, and actually contains a lot of unreasoning hatred and unjustified oppression (not to mention all of the ignorant bullshit). He's working out the implications of what he's learned.
Personally, I'm fine with that, but I hope that eventually he starts talking with us, rather than just stopping by to blow off steam. I completely understand the steam-blowing, though.
The above. That.
Quote from: Recusant on July 26, 2016, 06:32:24 PM
Quote from: Magdalena on July 26, 2016, 06:21:30 PM
:picard facepalm:
Child! What's wrong with you!?
I could venture a guess. I think he's been told all his life that this holy book contains important guidance handed down from the creator of the Universe. He's learned that the book isn't really holy at all, and actually contains a lot of unreasoning hatred and unjustified oppression (not to mention all of the ignorant bullshit). He's working out the implications of what he's learned.
Personally, I'm fine with that, but I hope that eventually he starts talking with us, rather than just stopping by to blow off steam. I completely understand the steam-blowing, though.
So this is what "religion withdrawal" is like? :worried:
What bothers me about this is...
To relate everday events to things in the Bible would take an eidetic memory to word level, or the time to read the book in detail, with enough attention to spot the applicable passages. A lot of time.
This also goes, to a lesser extent, for some of the other uses of Bible quotes.
It is easier to find suitable bits then relate these to possible everyday happenings.
Without a face to face conversation it is impossible to tell which came first. No point in asking on this forum.
Quote from: Magdalena on July 26, 2016, 08:36:12 PM
So this is what "religion withdrawal" is like? :worried:
For some, yes (me, it was like water off a duck's back). That's why I've always thought it a low blow when Xtians sneer that ex-Xtians gone atheist were never "real" Xtians. They obviously didn't see the struggle that some new atheists have going from point A to point Z.
For those who didn't know, I'm using sarcasm throughout this entire post. It's God who is evil, not us.
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 26, 2016, 03:45:39 PM
fuck off
Are we getting atheist Mabus's now?
I had forgotten all about Mabus! :o
The circus needs a clown every now and then.
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
For those who didn't know, I'm using sarcasm throughout this entire post. It's God who is evil, not us.
Same with the Christian hospital bit, right?
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
For those who didn't know, I'm using sarcasm throughout this entire post....
We don't know who you are, how are we supposed to know this? :eyebrow:
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
...It's God who is evil, not us.
Are you an atheist, or do you believe in god?
Quote from: Magdalena on July 26, 2016, 10:27:26 PM
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
For those who didn't know, I'm using sarcasm throughout this entire post....
We don't know who you are, how are we supposed to know this? :eyebrow:
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
...It's God who is evil, not us.
Are you an atheist, or do you believe in god?
Well, what do you know! His Evilness is being all pleasantness and blooming Things while the resident hippie is all like "Hey, who is you?! Huh?! HUH?! WHO?!"
Snow in Hell? Why, yes. Yes it does. ;D Imaginary snow, it COUNTS. >:(
Quote from: Asmodean on July 26, 2016, 10:39:24 PM
Quote from: Magdalena on July 26, 2016, 10:27:26 PM
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
For those who didn't know, I'm using sarcasm throughout this entire post....
We don't know who you are, how are we supposed to know this? :eyebrow:
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
...It's God who is evil, not us.
Are you an atheist, or do you believe in god?
Well, what do you know! His Evilness is being all pleasantness and blooming Things while the resident hippie is all like "Hey, who is you?! Huh?! HUH?! WHO?!"
Snow in Hell? Why, yes. Yes it does. ;D Imaginary snow, it COUNTS. >:(
:grrr: What has
He done to me!?
Magic. The Gray and Grumpy variety. :D
No! Only I can do that around here! >:(
...Wait a minute, I remember something! A few days ago, I rubbed His huge, throbbing... Ego. I must have caught something. :notsure:
Oh, wait, I know what it is. I'm menstruating. I become the Bitchiest Witch of The West. That's what it is. :smilenod:
~This too shall pass. (https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2Fmeditationf.gif&hash=d1bbda82c15a4b3a20984e20ed87703c6cb91918)
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 26, 2016, 10:14:36 PM
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 26, 2016, 03:45:39 PM
fuck off
Are we getting atheist Mabus's now?
I had forgotten all about Mabus! :o
The circus needs a clown every now and then.
Who was Mabus? Did I miss something fun?
Quote from: Magdalena on July 26, 2016, 10:27:26 PM
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
For those who didn't know, I'm using sarcasm throughout this entire post....
We don't know who you are, how are we supposed to know this? :eyebrow:
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
...It's God who is evil, not us.
Are you an atheist, or do you believe in god?
It is a quirky bit of phrasing, but common enough in recent non-Xtians. You grow up believing god is real, it's hard to stop talking (and sometimes thinking) as if it were even after you've decided it's not.
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on July 27, 2016, 12:44:36 AM
Who was Mabus? Did I miss something fun?
https://skeptools.wordpress.com/2015/02/05/twists-turns-saga-of-david-mabus-dennis-markuze/
A famous troll. He trolled atheist sites with Nostradamus quotes and all kinds of weirdness.
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on July 27, 2016, 12:44:36 AMWho was Mabus? Did I miss something fun?
He went by a lot of names.
Quote(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.sharenator.com%2Fsquirrel_with_machine_gun_weapons-s450x330-43676-580.jpg&hash=10e3bc68cb5d6ec3ee202e222837ed9852b7559b)
DIE, ATHEISTS, DIE!
From here (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=7769.0), where he was calling himself "divinejustice11."
For a while he was very fond of a huge inflatable rubber ducky.
Well, I'm sorry I missed the ducky thing but not sorry I missed the Nostradamus thing. That stuff makes my eyes cross.
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on July 27, 2016, 12:44:36 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 26, 2016, 10:14:36 PM
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 26, 2016, 03:45:39 PM
fuck off
Are we getting atheist Mabus's now?
I had forgotten all about Mabus! :o
The circus needs a clown every now and then.
Who was Mabus? Did I miss something fun?
He's the kind of individual you really hope doesn't sit next to you on the bus. Or run into during any activity or any time of day, for that matter. :smilenod:
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on July 27, 2016, 12:44:36 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on July 26, 2016, 10:27:26 PM
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
For those who didn't know, I'm using sarcasm throughout this entire post....
We don't know who you are, how are we supposed to know this? :eyebrow:
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
...It's God who is evil, not us.
Are you an atheist, or do you believe in god?
It is a quirky bit of phrasing, but common enough in recent non-Xtians. You grow up believing god is real, it's hard to stop talking (and sometimes thinking) as if it were even after you've decided it's not.
I thought more of the legit and very large number of people who profess atheism but in reality are just super pissed off at one brand of organized religion or another.
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2016, 01:37:29 AM
He's the kind of individual you really hope doesn't sit next to you on the bus. Or run into during any activity or any time of day, for that matter. :smilenod:
Yeah, I looked up the links Bruce and Rec gave me. Boy howdy.
Quote from: Pasta Chick on July 27, 2016, 02:10:57 AM
I thought more of the legit and very large number of people who profess atheism but in reality are just super pissed off at one brand of organized religion or another.
Yeah, then there's that. I've met my share of "atheists" who are just reacting to the realization that god isn't Santa Claus, and go back to Xtianity once they get over it.
Quote from: Recusant on July 27, 2016, 01:03:02 AM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on July 27, 2016, 12:44:36 AMWho was Mabus? Did I miss something fun?
He went by a lot of names.
Quote(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.sharenator.com%2Fsquirrel_with_machine_gun_weapons-s450x330-43676-580.jpg&hash=10e3bc68cb5d6ec3ee202e222837ed9852b7559b)
DIE, ATHEISTS, DIE!
From here (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=7769.0), where he was calling himself "divinejustice11."
For a while he was very fond of a huge inflatable rubber ducky.
Oh! My
Asmo! I remember him!
I was new here, I was kinda shy, he scared me, I didn't say anything! :shifty:
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2016, 01:37:29 AM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on July 27, 2016, 12:44:36 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 26, 2016, 10:14:36 PM
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 26, 2016, 03:45:39 PM
fuck off
Are we getting atheist Mabus's now?
I had forgotten all about Mabus! :o
The circus needs a clown every now and then.
Who was Mabus? Did I miss something fun?
He's the kind of individual you really hope doesn't sit next to you on the bus. Or run into during any activity or any time of day, for that matter. :smilenod:
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.memecdn.com%2Flets-talk-about-jesus_o_654762.jpg&hash=00ecbb40c213e85522ea4d7615ea06ce3cd34109)
:grin:
Quote from: Asmodean on July 26, 2016, 04:11:23 PM
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 26, 2016, 03:45:39 PM
fuck off
Are we getting atheist Mabus's now?
I thought the post was kind of fun, if only because it made me think of that song about how
QuoteYou know it was her own damn fault
When God turned that bitch to salt
That's the way he used to work back in those days
*The Asmo wanders off in the general direction of out-of-His-office whistling the tune*
Are you talking about this one?
It comes with a warning:
QuotePublished on Jul 13, 2008
"Hand Of The Almighty," by John R. Butler. (WARNING: CONTAINS PROFANITY - If you're easily offended, you may want to find something else to watch.) This is from "The Best of the Red Peters Comedy Music Hour, Vol. 1" This song is also known by the title "God Will Fuck You Up"
:picard facepalm:
Quote from: MatureMcLeod on July 26, 2016, 09:52:33 PM
For those who didn't know, I'm using sarcasm throughout this entire post. It's God who is evil, not us.
We have no idea what you're doing after just 6 posts. You're just another voice from the void.
The Mabus. What happened to him anyways? Dead? In jail? Mental institution? House arrest with no Internet? Any combination thereof?
Quote from: Magdalena on July 27, 2016, 05:56:16 AM
Are you talking about this one?
Yep. ;D
Here (http://forum.thinkhumanism.com/viewtopic.php?f=61&t=6799) is some of the Mabus saga.
Ah..! It's a sad epic, that. Some serious shrinkotherapy would likely be good for that one in oh, so many ways.... But will he comply for the duration..? I doubt it.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi778.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fyy67%2FDaveGlos%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F421623768v0_480x480_Front_ColorWhite.jpg&hash=114d8ea9705afc08698ef0baf6be89a0acb36097) (http://s778.photobucket.com/user/DaveGlos/media/Mobile%20Uploads/421623768v0_480x480_Front_ColorWhite.jpg.html)
My favourite (ironic) Mabus immage.
I had a few run-ins with Mabus when I was on staff at the old Richard Dawkins' forum (now defunct). He'd clutter up the place for a few days by rejoining under a different username every time we banned him. Then he would lose interest in RDF and go bother other places for a while. I got pretty good at spotting his aliases even before he posted.
Quote from: Magdalena on July 27, 2016, 03:11:50 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 27, 2016, 01:37:29 AM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on July 27, 2016, 12:44:36 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on July 26, 2016, 10:14:36 PM
Quote from: Bad Penny II on July 26, 2016, 03:45:39 PM
fuck off
Are we getting atheist Mabus's now?
I had forgotten all about Mabus! :o
The circus needs a clown every now and then.
Who was Mabus? Did I miss something fun?
He's the kind of individual you really hope doesn't sit next to you on the bus. Or run into during any activity or any time of day, for that matter. :smilenod:
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.memecdn.com%2Flets-talk-about-jesus_o_654762.jpg&hash=00ecbb40c213e85522ea4d7615ea06ce3cd34109)
:grin:
:lol:
So, as I mentioned, although I've been a heathen nonbeliever for 40 years or so, I'm new to this whole forum thing, as well as...err, lets call it atheist support groups, in general.
I'm getting the feeling, from several posts here and elsewhere, that there has been a sort of underground internet-based Unholy War going on, with a number of key players on both sides keeping the fires stoked for years now. I guess I've just been deaf dumb and blind to it...what a drag, it seems like I've missed out on a lot of good times. Although the few "old timers" I've run across that play for God's Children seem to be nuttier than a thousand fruitcakes.
Are there any priests or ministers (not counting the web-ordained weirdos) that have taken up the virtual sword of the arch angels, who I should watch for? I'd love to debate some things with someone well versed in the religious trappings who wasn't 6 fries short of a happy meal. (hmm...verging on oxymoronic territory there)
I feel like I've missed so much...virtual unholy wars should be better advertised.
Cheers!
Hmm... Yes, there are some interesting characters on both sides of the issue. Some interesting weirdos too, actually. Just check out the dump pile of crazy troll posts here (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?board=48.0). ;)
I expect there are priests and ministers on atheist forums. Not sure if they are or ever have been active here, but it would not surprise me.
The thing with the more honest variety of people of faith is that they admit that it's faith. They are not necessarilly looking to convince anybody, but rather to understand the opposition, so to speak. Therefore, my assumption is that many such people may read the forums without actively contributing to their content, a practice known as lurking.
Of course, the active ones often being aggressive salesmen of divinities, that may well contribute to skewing our collective perspective when it comes to the religious in general, but that's a-whole-nother topic of conversation. It may be said, however, that people of faith who do stick around are generally of a higher calibre (at least in my subjective view) than those who leave in a fit of martyrdom. It takes some integrity and honesty towards oneself to be able to tolerate your beliefs being challenged, apparently. Challenging one's beliefs ought to be everyone's duty if you ask me, but then again, I'm only human by definition. ;)
Challenging one's beliefs ought to be everyone's duty if you ask me, but then again, I'm only human by definition.
Agreed...I love debating religion with ministers or priests, when I run across one open to the idea. I'm under no delusion that I will change his mind about anything, and most authentic priests don't think they're going to change my views, I've found...yet I think we both use these discussions to strengthen our own arguments. If I can hold my ground and sound reasonable against a priest who is secure in his faith, few nut bags will give me a run- and I think some priests look at discussions with intelligent atheists the same way.
I just wish these headline-grabbing atheists would shut the hell up...like that Madalyn O'hair freak. We aren't a religion, these idiots are not our spokespeople, where do they get the idea they have some sort of status? I don't care if our money says "in god we trust"...I don't care if the ten commandments are on the courthouse wall. They aren't a bad model for a decent life, and they are our history. Why should they threaten us as atheists? Pray in schools, have fun with it. I'm gonna read while you do it, let me know when you're finished. The US wasn't based on freedom of Christianity...it was based on freedom of religion. Everyone do their thing, just don't hurt anyone else. Feelings not included.
IF wrote:
QuoteI just wish these headline-grabbing atheists would shut the hell up...
Yup, pushing your ideas too hard is a good way of putting others of. I am not shy of publicising my "belief" in humanism, or my atheism, when the matter arises. But pushing it too hard makes us as bad as the other bunch.
I did take the local vicar, gently, to task when he said, in the village magazine (
not a "parish magazine) something about not being "part of the herd" and coming to church to praise the almighty instead. I made the point that his faithful congregation were also his flock, tending to think with one mind, sing with one voice - conforming with centuries old dogma and doctrine. Who, then, had the herdlike behaviour?
He had the grace to concede, though he would not take the conversation further.
I did take the local vicar, gently, to task
I haven't been to England in several years, although I used to go several times each year at least...I miss it. Fish n chips wrapped in a newspaper from the street vendors and people saying things like "the local vicar". What a country. I need to get back.
Quote from: imaginaryfriendless on July 28, 2016, 11:50:48 AM
I did take the local vicar, gently, to task
I haven't been to England in several years, although I used to go several times each year at least...I miss it. Fish n chips wrapped in a newspaper from the street vendors and people saying things like "the local vicar". What a country. I need to get back.
If you had fish and chips in newspaper that must have been about 50 years ago! It's been illegal due to risk of infection for about that long. Pity, as a kid we used to get a load of "bits" in exchange for a wad of paper. Never seen a street vendor selling them either, hot baked potatoes, pies, jellied eels, shellfish, chestnuts, even hot-dogs and burgers later. But it all sort of died out in the 60s.
Street food is getting popular again in some towns, all for it! There's a mobile Chinese kitchen around here somewhere and a good selection of cooked exotic, and local, foods can be found at the weekly market.
Blighty might have changed a bit from your last visit, IF, lots of things lost and few things really gained IMHO.
There are a few places that use a fake broadsheet, though. It's called "Fish and Chip Times" or something along those lines. I've encountered it in Cornwall and Surrey.
Quote from: Recusant on July 28, 2016, 07:31:23 PM
There are a few places that use a fake broadsheet, though. It's called "Fish and Chip Times" or something along those lines. I've encountered it in Cornwall and Surrey.
Good point, forgot that!