I'm going to use this thread to have a nice polite chat with God.
Well you lot are pretty boring and I don't listen to myself anymore so I'm resorting to god.
I suppose other people can talk to him/her/... but none of that pitiful whining you atheists are known for.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/eating-lots-of-potatoes-especially-fries-may-give-women-high-blood-pressure/2016/05/20/521512ce-1dda-11e6-b6e0-c53b7ef63b45_story.html
QuoteAmong women, those who regularly ate one or more servings of potatoes daily were more likely to have developed high blood pressure than were those who ate less than one serving of potatoes a month. Eating the larger amounts of baked, boiled or mashed potatoes increased risk by 13 percent, and french fry consumption increased it by 17 percent. Men's risk for hypertension was not affected by their consumption of these types of potatoes. However, regular consumption of potato chips was linked to a lower risk for hypertension among men but had no effect among women.
That seems a bit unfair god, you gave women the pregnancy chore, and all that messy menstruation business and then there's the crowded female rest rooms. Now they have to suffer for eating potatoes, everybody should be able to eat potatoes.
I did consider disparity issues in the design phase, so I set old male ears to sprout unsightly hair.
I could of course reverse the gender roles if you think my design inequitable.No no no, don't do that, ear hair, ye that evens it up, I bow to your wisdom.
Are we supposed to join in the conversation or just do an occasional golf clap?
If you have a conversation with god I welcome you sharing it.
Dear God, I wanted to get your views on me talking with atheists and pagans and hippy witches on this site. I'm not trying to upset you or anything, I just find it more interesting that what I experience in other places. Are we cool?
Not a problem. I pop in occasionally myself. I get bored of hearing the exact same things in church for hundreds of years, so I understand. Just watch out for the Australians. They're a rough lot.
Yeah, I've seen that. Well, talk to you later.
The whole ACDC thing, I get it that you wanted Bon for your band and obviously you are the most excellent chordophone player ever, you make Dave Lister sound ordinary. The new guy though is so crap, couldn't you have lined up someone better?
Many of my children love him :P
Ye OK, I concede to your ultimate wisdom.
In all honesty, if I could have a conversation with the god thing, it would be anything but polite.
God, please tell me that Trump is not going to win.
Despite many miguided prayers, I don't get involved in politics. That's your problem. But I wouldn't worry.
Well, OK, I guess. I guess it could be worse - Glenn Beck could be running.
I don't talk to a God because it would be like asking the Magic 8-Ball something.
Question:
Me: God, or Magic 8-Ball, is Pahu right?
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.makeagif.com%2Fmedia%2F4-03-2015%2Fn29Pqd.gif&hash=423a9496ee9368fa9a18ef7598d3fe93d01494e2)
Answer:
From God, or Magic 8-Ball:
The 20 answers inside a standard Magic 8 Ball are:
It is certain
It is decidedly so
Without a doubt
Yes, definitely
You may rely on it
As I see it, yes
Most likely
Outlook good
Yes
Signs point to yes
Reply hazy try again
Ask again later
Better not tell you now
Cannot predict now
Concentrate and ask again
Don't count on it
My reply is no
My sources say no
Outlook not so good
Very doubtful
Ten of the possible answers are Positive
Five are Negative
Five are Neutral
I think my conversation with the Abrahamic deity would be a rather short one. No profound questions, as it takes more than "So spake the LORD" to convince me when it comes to those, no whining about the unfairness of the universe, as I do not expect it to be fair, no begging for treats - I want to acquire my creature comforts my way... What's left?
"Hey, God! Shitty-ass weather we're having, no?"
Quote from: Asmodean on May 23, 2016, 04:08:02 PM
I think my conversation with the Abrahamic deity would be a rather short one. No profound questions, as it takes more than "So spake the LORD" to convince me when it comes to those, no whining about the unfairness of the universe, as I do not expect it to be fair, no begging for treats - I want to acquire my creature comforts my way... What's left?
"Hey, God! Shitty-ass weather we're having, no?"
That's a sour attitude, were you a fiddled with alter boy or some such?
Quote from: Asmodean on May 23, 2016, 04:08:02 PM
I think my conversation with the Abrahamic deity would be a rather short one. No profound questions, as it takes more than "So spake the LORD" to convince me when it comes to those, no whining about the unfairness of the universe, as I do not expect it to be fair, no begging for treats - I want to acquire my creature comforts my way... What's left?
"Hey, God! Shitty-ass weather we're having, no?"
Well, I have been fiddled, drummed and other sexual references regularly by my own sweet self. Does that count?
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.redmillhouse.com.au%2Ffiles%2Fmedia%2Fthumbcache%2F06e%2Fd94%2F7fd%2F_D2X0077.jpg&hash=943bbbdf929ceb2b66002822c1683fbdccf03262)
This is the guy that started it, well not literally, it's not my photo, my meeting with an azure kingfisher was fleeting.
I wanted to talk to the the that paints birds so nice.
Azure Kingfisher, it so fitting a name.
He is me
Ha?
Another world, I was the Azure Kingfucker,
it was a more hands on place.
I was a brilliantly blue winged god who'd ass fucked the king every year in view of all ensuring fecundity throughout the kingdom
Cool.
Quote from: Asmodean on May 24, 2016, 02:40:01 PM
Well, I have been fiddled, drummed and other sexual references regularly by my own sweet self. Does that count?
Everything counts but you could probably be disregarded as negligible. : )
Quote from: Asmodean on May 28, 2016, 11:37:16 AM
Quote from: Crow on May 28, 2016, 11:27:15 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on May 28, 2016, 10:55:50 AM
My point is, a lot of people screw each other even before mid-teens, and they turn out OK. Also, they are bloody awesome in bed in those late teenage years.
Indeed but I hope you aren't still messing about with them.
With who? 14-year olds? Late-teenagers? People who are good in bed? Too old for a and b, but I certainly do mess about, as you put it, with "appropriately-aged" people who know their way around great sex.
Just look at Crow and Asmo flaunting their causal sex debauchery.
I don't think it sets a good example for your chaste followers.
It's called casual sex because there are casualties, their souls!
They will burn in hell forever for what they do.That's nice but couldn't you introduce a nasty new disease or something.
I have got a few I'm working on, I'll send you some picsa) eek
b)errrrrrk
c) Arrrrghhhharrerrr :o take it away!.
Ye, I like C, that should discourage 'em.
Glad you like it, I could send you down to hell on secondment to do a bit of poking of the sinful with red hot pokers if you like. Oh could I? Your the best god, thanks, praise you and all that.
I like my walking stick but a red hot poker :) Bad Penny I is going to be so jealous.
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ1wS0RH1bF-lLhSfP-n_6tZk8H6Jri9w0wJ_dn6VevDtsoIwBzQA)
Quote from: Bad Penny II on May 29, 2016, 11:14:21 AM
Just look at Crow and Asmo flaunting their causal sex debauchery.
The. >:(
QuoteIt's called casual sex because there are casualties, their souls!
Good.
QuoteThat's nice but couldn't you introduce a nasty new disease or something.
Oh, certainly! Although condoms do reduce chances of such, including the arguably worst ailment of all, an unwanted baby.
"God? God, are you there?"
*one of my enemies answers, suffering from unbridled feelings of delusional grandiosity*
" :rofl: "
Whatever.
Hello
Do you have an appointment
No, I've never needed one before, we have an understanding.
Who are you anyway.
I am Bill the vestibule cherub
Oh OK, hello Bill, how has he/all possible gender permutations/she manifested today?
The all was Ganesha last we looked
Cool, he's one of my favourites
Yes, you seem rather uncouth, but I like you so I'll tell you, refer to him as your trunkiness, if you want to get on.
Thanks Bill, open the door please.
Salutations your Trunkiness
>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Did Bill tell to say that?
Well I can't see any profit in denying it, and you must know it so I admit it, yes he did.
Hmmmm
Give me a scratch of the bits my trunk doesn't reach.
Scccrrrtch scccrrrtch scccrttth scnnt scrrr
Are you using your phone?
I was consulting the oracle
What did Wikipedia have to say?
Smartism, was a thing
It didn't work out
Scccrrrtch scccrrrtch
Scrrerrrerrerch Scrrerrrerrerch Scrrerrrerrerch
Screr er er er, er er er er er
Fuck it, your scratching has gone all fucking Vulgar Boatmen!
Sorry, it's the Sirens movie
The one with Elle Macpherson's tits?
Ye, i should have been a major part of it
It astounds me that you weren't.
Ye, the movie lacked, there was no rainstorm,
No creepy me welcoming them and launching into the temporal twist
That was, is, forever will be a catchy tune
Ye, fuck, I don't know what they were thinking.
They cut the scene where I shoot my creator with a laser pistol
Well that kind of thing isn't to be encouraged
Bad Penny is indisposed but he wants everyone to think of fluffy kittens :) :) :) :) :)
fluffy kittens, fluffy kittens, kittens that are oh so fluffy :) :) :) :) :)
God?
Yes?
I have midterm in an hour and have not studied nearly as much as I should have. Please help me get a passing grade!
We'll see. If you do well, you can thank me. If not, then blame the devil.
:???:
G'day god
Howya goin?
OK, just watching that Jupiter Ascending movie.
Any good?
I didn't like the characters much, the creepy oldest son was good but you didn't see enough of him.
It's sci fi, lots of defying the laws of physics, it stretched my ability to suspend disbelief a bit.
They can be funny though
Ye but this -
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FzI8dF4R.jpg&hash=8641739aefa5f19c6f6b7f49e745fdffa5e19d31)
Who gets this close up and personal when cleaning a toilet?
No not to clean, maybe if I'd had too much the night before
Exactly, it's a joy to talk to you, we are so simpatico.
Sorry, I should have started talking to you years ago instead of wasting my time with those atheist husks, soggy or dry.
No worries mate, we're mates now.
Want to talk about the Prophetetcy amongst Walrus like creatures?
Ye mate.
Oh god, why do you allow such bad movies to be made?
That wasn't me, that was...er...the devil! Yes, the devil allowed it to happen.