ALL religions offer their believers an afterlife. Eternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch. These afterlives come in a variety of concepts based on what's important to that specific religion but everyone wants to live forever so let's look at a few of them.
Christianity offers either Heaven or Hell, that's it. There are no middle grounds anymore. When I was growing up as a Roman Catholic, there was also Purgatory and Limbo but apparently God has since closed those offices as they no longer apply. So now, if you're a Xian you either spend eternity worshiping at the feet of God or having your nuts chewed off by Imps while roasting forever in Hell. This same inflexible feast or famine idea is also featured in...
Islam where you either worship or burn just like in Xianity but Islam has doubled down on the idea of Heavenly reward by also promising that there will be pussy in Heaven as well. This makes good sense from a marketing perspective; if you're going to talk some Allah crazed zealot into strapping a bomb to his back there needs to be some serious practical reward involved beyond some nebulous promise of eternal bliss. Afterlife poontang seems to do the trick.
In general, neither Xianity nor Islam offers reincarnation as an option.
But Hindu does! So if you prefer to believe in the Transmigration of Souls and yearn to come back here again and again until you achieve divinity then the Hindu faith is for you. Reincarnation is an appealing notion because it conquers death with the promise of life over and again. It's like a soul recycling program. No Hell to fear but no Heaven either; just endless life although you do run the risk of not only coming back as a man or a woman but also as a goat or a barn owl or a dung beetle - you don't get to choose.
But if you want a choice, the Pagans got you covered with Summerland. The Wiccan afterlife of Summerland is like an afterlife waiting room where you lounge for however long you need to reflect on your previous life and the lessons you learned then, when you're ready, you get to choose to come back at that time, and you get to choose what you come back as, and you even get some say in the circumstances of your reincarnation. What's not to like here? Its like you get to order all your favorite things off the menu of your favorite restaurant while sitting at your favorite table.
The Buddhists also offer reincarnation but there's no soul involved and it's not actually a good thing and...whatever, it's complicated.
But if you just want a simple afterlife with beautiful weather, rolling hills and plains of plenty, there's always the Native American afterlife of the Happy Hunting Ground. No gods, no demons, no complicated rules or reincarnations, just a beautiful spiritual plane of existence with plentiful game to hunt for eternity...because, I guess even souls need to eat for some reason.
------------------
So there's just a few of them for your consideration. Step up to the bar, look them over, find the one that appeals the most to your sensibilities and start believing in your favorite afterlife! Don't let the fact that none of them are actually real interfere with your enjoyment of having conquered death cuz no one likes a killjoy.
I'm looking for the meat. Where's the beef? :let'seat:
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 23, 2016, 11:07:00 PM
I'm looking for the meat. Where's the beef? :let'seat:
Hey! What you see is what we got! :spaghetti:
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 23, 2016, 11:19:57 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 23, 2016, 11:07:00 PM
I'm looking for the meat. Where's the beef? :let'seat:
Hey! What you see is what we got! :spaghetti:
Hmm. :notsure:
Well, I want beef too much to go for Hinduism. What about alcohol? Do you have any wine on offer?
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 23, 2016, 11:32:16 PM
Hmm. :notsure:
Well, I want beef too much to go for Hinduism. What about alcohol? Do you have any wine on offer?
The Catholics got you sorted on that front.
Quote from: Crow on March 24, 2016, 12:10:23 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 23, 2016, 11:32:16 PM
Hmm. :notsure:
Well, I want beef too much to go for Hinduism. What about alcohol? Do you have any wine on offer?
The Catholics got you sorted on that front.
:eyebrow: I don't want to drink the "blood" of a zombie.
Can I create a type of McCombo?
Can I just get something à la carte?
Can I substitute an item...like...a pussy for something else?
If not happy can I exchange it? Can I get a refund, or a coupon?
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 24, 2016, 12:19:02 AM:eyebrow: I don't want to drink the "blood" of a zombie.
I drank the zombie blood for years and I'm here to tell ya it tastes a lot like cheap wine paired with stale crackers.
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 23, 2016, 11:32:16 PM
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 23, 2016, 11:19:57 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 23, 2016, 11:07:00 PM
I'm looking for the meat. Where's the beef? :let'seat:
Hey! What you see is what we got! :spaghetti:
Hmm. :notsure:
Well, I want beef too much to go for Hinduism. What about alcohol? Do you have any wine on offer?
I believe what you're looking for is Valhalla.
Quote from: Magdalena on March 24, 2016, 01:29:30 AM
Can I create a type of McCombo?
Can I just get something à la carte?
Can I substitute an item...like...a pussy for something else?
If not happy can I exchange it? Can I get a refund, or a coupon?
This ain't Burger King toots; you don't get to have it your way. It's more like a cable provider; you have to take what comes bundled in the package as is.
Quote from: Magdalena on March 24, 2016, 01:29:30 AM
Can I substitute an item...like...a pussy for something else?
Hmmm. Just what kind of salad are we talking about here?
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on March 24, 2016, 01:35:39 AM
...
I believe what you're looking for is Valhalla.
MadBomr101, Valhalla is not on the menu. Why isn't Valhalla on the menu?
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 24, 2016, 01:37:59 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on March 24, 2016, 01:29:30 AM
Can I create a type of McCombo?
Can I just get something à la carte?
Can I substitute an item...like...a pussy for something else?
If not happy can I exchange it? Can I get a refund, or a coupon?
This ain't Burger King toots; you don't get to have it your way. It's more like a cable provider; you have to take what comes bundled in the package as is.
Toots? Did you just call me toots? :???:
Quote from: Magdalena on March 24, 2016, 02:22:24 AMMadBomr101, Valhalla is not on the menu. Why isn't Valhalla on the menu?
My afterlife purchasing manager must have overlooked it when placing the order. I apologize for the oversight and would like to offer you an eternal life of equal or lesser value as compensation.
Quote from: Magdalena on March 24, 2016, 02:26:27 AMToots? Did you just call me toots? :???:
My bad. Would you prefer something less formal? :o
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 24, 2016, 02:37:48 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on March 24, 2016, 02:22:24 AMMadBomr101, Valhalla is not on the menu. Why isn't Valhalla on the menu?
My afterlife purchasing manager must have overlooked it when placing the order. I apologize for the oversight and would like to offer you an eternal life of equal or lesser value as compensation.
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F45.media.tumblr.com%2Fc5b789381f8d180d805829de357c7d6a%2Ftumblr_mt683fB6bj1sdqt3do1_500.gif&hash=d5d2a7faaf1066ee3517c70ef566d057abc6c1db)
I would like that, thank you.
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 23, 2016, 10:30:06 PMEternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch.
I find the concept of eternal life to be unappealing, so I choose none of them.
Quote from: Davin on March 24, 2016, 01:30:26 PM
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 23, 2016, 10:30:06 PMEternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch.
I find the concept of eternal life to be unappealing, so I choose none of them.
I agree with Davin. They just aren't really all that appealing. In fact they sound downright awful.
At least I like the Buddhist analogy of death being like a ray of light that never lands. But the whole rebirth thing isn't exactly straight forward as there are many that believe that the rebirth of conciousness isn't from life to life but the birth and death of conciousness within a persons lifetime, from the observation that conciousness isn't a continual but rather little bursts of conciousness that come and go.
Quote from: Davin on March 24, 2016, 01:30:26 PM
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 23, 2016, 10:30:06 PMEternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch.
I find the concept of eternal life to be unappealing, so I choose none of them.
If you could choose to live in good health as long as you wanted to, how long do you think that would be?
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on March 24, 2016, 07:11:02 PM
Quote from: Davin on March 24, 2016, 01:30:26 PM
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 23, 2016, 10:30:06 PMEternal life is one of the most compelling aspects of their sales pitch.
I find the concept of eternal life to be unappealing, so I choose none of them.
If you could choose to live in good health as long as you wanted to, how long do you think that would be?
Until the boredom becomes overwhelming. I think I'd like to live for a thousand years, as long as I could manage not getting too bored. Right now I am often bored, but it's never been overwhelming. There are plenty of things to do and think about, but even the process of going into a new thing ends up getting boring. Right now I am attempting to stave off boredom by mixing it up between new things, mastering current things, and trying to find new ways to use the things I already know. If I live for too long, eventually the moments of boredom will continue increase until there is nothing but.
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on March 24, 2016, 01:35:39 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 23, 2016, 11:32:16 PM
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 23, 2016, 11:19:57 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 23, 2016, 11:07:00 PM
I'm looking for the meat. Where's the beef? :let'seat:
Hey! What you see is what we got! :spaghetti:
Hmm. :notsure:
Well, I want beef too much to go for Hinduism. What about alcohol? Do you have any wine on offer?
I believe what you're looking for is Valhalla.
Yes, Valhalla looks like fun. :smilenod:
Can my valkyries all look like Chris Hemsworth clones? :tellmemore:
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fartcreationforever.com%2Fimages%2Fchris-hemsworth%2Fchris-hemsworth-03.jpg&hash=e81dff623e2ed862a811ddd5a6d62a274f29016d)
Preferably not dressed as Thor...
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 24, 2016, 09:13:26 PM
Can my valkyries all look like Chris Hemsworth clones? :tellmemore:
Of course, it's Valhalla!
For my own part, I've thought it would be interesting to be disembodied consciousness -- not affected by any physical laws, able to zip here and there at will to any time and place in the universe. Maybe haunt a few people as well, but I'd also be happy just observing.
There are indeed plenty of jolly times and feasting in Valhalla. Just remember that under "jolly times" is a daily round of fighting and killing (http://norse-mythology.org/cosmology/valhalla/). If you get killed there, you'll wake up the next morning, ready for more jolly times and feasting.
Quote from: Recusant on March 24, 2016, 10:23:46 PM
There are indeed plenty of jolly times and feasting in Valhalla. Just remember that under "jolly times" is a daily round of fighting and killing (http://norse-mythology.org/cosmology/valhalla/). If you get killed there, you'll wake up the next morning, ready for more jolly times and feasting.
Killjoy. :P
Quote from: Recusant on March 24, 2016, 10:23:46 PM
There are indeed plenty of jolly times and feasting in Valhalla. Just remember that under "jolly times" is a daily round of fighting and killing (http://norse-mythology.org/cosmology/valhalla/). If you get killed there, you'll wake up the next morning, ready for more jolly times and feasting.
Well, yes, but to be fair to the Vikings, that was part of their idea of fun.
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on March 24, 2016, 10:44:43 PM
Quote from: Recusant on March 24, 2016, 10:23:46 PM
There are indeed plenty of jolly times and feasting in Valhalla. Just remember that under "jolly times" is a daily round of fighting and killing (http://norse-mythology.org/cosmology/valhalla/). If you get killed there, you'll wake up the next morning, ready for more jolly times and feasting.
Well, yes, but to be fair to the Vikings, that was part of their idea of fun.
And no one is really getting hurt so it would be like playing a very visceral computer game.
Quote from: Davin on March 24, 2016, 08:14:24 PMUntil the boredom becomes overwhelming. I think I'd like to live for a thousand years, as long as I could manage not getting too bored. Right now I am often bored, but it's never been overwhelming. There are plenty of things to do and think about, but even the process of going into a new thing ends up getting boring. Right now I am attempting to stave off boredom by mixing it up between new things, mastering current things, and trying to find new ways to use the things I already know. If I live for too long, eventually the moments of boredom will continue increase until there is nothing but.
This.
Let's don't forget that the only thing promised by the Xian afterlife - the worst one of them all - is to spend eternity worshiping god. That's all. Just worshiping a deity so insecure and needy for constant attention that he makes Miley Cyrus look humble by comparison. Xians are so eager for this completely pointless eternity that they spend their REAL lives metaphorically licking the nutsack of a deity that can't think of anything more to offer with eternity than endless praise unto himself. What a douche.
I'd be as out of place in Heaven as a Tea-Party Republican at a coke fueled orgy; a concept for an afterlife I could get into...at least for thirty or thirty-five years.
Beyond that, even that would become mindnumbing.
Eternal life just seems unfathomably boring, and yes, I agree that the Christian variety (and Islamic, to be fair) are the worst of the lot. It's like being made to eat broccoli for an infinity, you may like it at first but eventually you just can't take it anymore. ::)
Unless there's some mechanism in place to wipe all your memories as each "day" passes, that way forever wouldn't feel like an eternity, but you'd be locked in a never ending one-day cycle in which you'll be worshiping an Egomaniac, fighting and killing, or time spent coming back as a lettuce or whatever.
I think I'd still go with the Valhalla salad, but without the associated topping of PTSD. No pathological memories, please.
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 24, 2016, 09:13:26 PM
(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fartcreationforever.com%2Fimages%2Fchris-hemsworth%2Fchris-hemsworth-03.jpg&hash=e81dff623e2ed862a811ddd5a6d62a274f29016d)
Preferably not dressed as Thor...
PFFT! Take away his looks, charm, wealth and fame and what have you got?
Me. >:(
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 25, 2016, 01:52:05 AM
Eternal life just seems unfathomably boring, and yes, I agree that the Christian variety (and Islamic, to be fair) are the worst of the lot. It's like being made to eat broccoli for an infinity, you may like it at first but eventually you just can't take it anymore. ::)
Unless there's some mechanism in place to wipe all your memories as each "day" passes, that way forever wouldn't feel like an eternity, but you'd be locked in a never ending one-day cycle in which you'll be worshiping an Egomaniac, fighting and killing, or time spent coming back as a lettuce or whatever.
So eternal life with selective, strategic Alzheimers to cope with the endless sameness. It could work.
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 25, 2016, 01:58:25 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 25, 2016, 01:52:05 AM
Eternal life just seems unfathomably boring, and yes, I agree that the Christian variety (and Islamic, to be fair) are the worst of the lot. It's like being made to eat broccoli for an infinity, you may like it at first but eventually you just can't take it anymore. ::)
Unless there's some mechanism in place to wipe all your memories as each "day" passes, that way forever wouldn't feel like an eternity, but you'd be locked in a never ending one-day cycle in which you'll be worshiping an Egomaniac, fighting and killing, or time spent coming back as a lettuce or whatever.
So eternal life with selective, strategic Alzheimers to cope with the endless sameness. It could work.
Hey! >:(
How come she gets a combo and I don't? :???:
How come she can make substitutions and I can't?
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 24, 2016, 01:37:59 AM
This ain't Burger King toots; you don't get to have it your way. It's more like a cable provider; you have to take what comes bundled in the package as is.
I don't think I like this...this... "The Afterlife Salad Bar."
Quote from: Magdalena on March 25, 2016, 02:14:59 AM
Hey! >:(
How come she gets a combo and I don't? :???:
Her combo enhances the afterlife by offering a solution to the dullness issue of eternity. We all benefit from her combo whereas you just wanted a coupon and an alternative for pussy.
But we value your business so, please, accept this complimentary dessert voucher. :)
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 25, 2016, 02:23:29 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on March 25, 2016, 02:14:59 AM
Hey! >:(
How come she gets a combo and I don't? :???:
Her combo enhances the afterlife by offering a solution to the dullness issue of eternity. We all benefit from her combo whereas you just wanted a coupon and an alternative for pussy.
But we value your business so, please, accept this complimentary dessert voucher. :)
Only some have this dullness issue of eternity, it will benefit them, but not
all like you said. I don't plan on having an eternity of dullness, so, I should be allowed to create my own combo...a combo for those who don't see eternity as dull.
But it's your game, your rules, your bar. :shrug:
Oh, I almost forgot. I'll take that complimentary dessert voucher--thank you very much.
Asmo, could you please tell me what hell is like in your realm?
I am so sorry. :shifty:
I meant to say, ...
Asmo, could He tell us, if we are worthy of such knowledge, what hell is like in His realm?
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 25, 2016, 01:23:39 AM
Quote from: Davin on March 24, 2016, 08:14:24 PMSpoiler
Until the boredom becomes overwhelming. I think I'd like to live for a thousand years, as long as I could manage not getting too bored. Right now I am often bored, but it's never been overwhelming. There are plenty of things to do and think about, but even the process of going into a new thing ends up getting boring. Right now I am attempting to stave off boredom by mixing it up between new things, mastering current things, and trying to find new ways to use the things I already know. If I live for too long, eventually the moments of boredom will continue increase until there is nothing but.
This.
Let's don't forget that the only thing promised by the Xian afterlife - the worst one of them all - is to spend eternity worshiping god. That's all. Just worshiping a deity so insecure and needy for constant attention that he makes Miley Cyrus look humble by comparison. Xians are so eager for this completely pointless eternity that they spend their REAL lives metaphorically licking the nutsack of a deity that can't think of anything more to offer with eternity than endless praise unto himself. What a douche.
I'd be as out of place in Heaven as a Tea-Party Republican at a coke fueled orgy; a concept for an afterlife I could get into...at least for thirty or thirty-five years.
Beyond that, even that would become mindnumbing.
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 25, 2016, 01:52:05 AMEternal life just seems unfathomably boring, and yes, I agree that the Christian variety (and Islamic, to be fair) are the worst of the lot. It's like being made to eat broccoli for an infinity, you may like it at first but eventually you just can't take it anymore. ::)
To MadBombr101 and xSilverPhinx, I agree that I would get bored of those Christian and Islamic versions of the after life quicker than any other proposed.
Quote from: xSilverPhinxUnless there's some mechanism in place to wipe all your memories as each "day" passes, that way forever wouldn't feel like an eternity, but you'd be locked in a never ending one-day cycle in which you'll be worshiping an Egomaniac, fighting and killing, or time spent coming back as a lettuce or whatever.
If that were the case though, there's no point in living forever because then we'd just be living for one day.
Quote from: xSilverPhinxI think I'd still go with the Valhalla salad, but without the associated topping of PTSD. No pathological memories, please.
At least Valhalla is not eternal, we'd just have to fight and wait until Ragnarok where most will die.
Quote from: MadBomr101 on March 25, 2016, 01:58:25 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 25, 2016, 01:52:05 AM
Eternal life just seems unfathomably boring, and yes, I agree that the Christian variety (and Islamic, to be fair) are the worst of the lot. It's like being made to eat broccoli for an infinity, you may like it at first but eventually you just can't take it anymore. ::)
Unless there's some mechanism in place to wipe all your memories as each "day" passes, that way forever wouldn't feel like an eternity, but you'd be locked in a never ending one-day cycle in which you'll be worshiping an Egomaniac, fighting and killing, or time spent coming back as a lettuce or whatever.
So eternal life with selective, strategic Alzheimers to cope with the endless sameness. It could work.
Yours would probably be the only Afterlife Salad Bar to offer dementia as a selling point. :smilenod:
Quote from: Davin on March 25, 2016, 01:32:58 PM
Quote from: xSilverPhinxUnless there's some mechanism in place to wipe all your memories as each "day" passes, that way forever wouldn't feel like an eternity, but you'd be locked in a never ending one-day cycle in which you'll be worshiping an Egomaniac, fighting and killing, or time spent coming back as a lettuce or whatever.
If that were the case though, there's no point in living forever because then we'd just be living for one day.
Well, you can always say that the true meaning of the word "day" was lost in translation and that it is in fact, longer than a 24 hour day. ;)
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on March 25, 2016, 01:36:00 PMYours would probably be the only Afterlife Salad Bar to offer dementia as a selling point. :smilenod:
We at Afterlife Salad Bar Inc. pride ourselves on thinking out of the box. :badger:
:unsure: