Happy Atheist Forum

OK, lets see...
I'm a 14 year old girl living in Texas (one of the worst places for atheists). I've been raised Methodist Christian by my two parents along with my younger brother. I wish that I could be like everyone else and believe in god and heaven and stuff, but I just can't. I've been trying really hard, but nothing makes sense, the Bible is just chockfull of contradictions and impossible things (and don't you try and tell me "It's not impossible, god can do anything!"). But I guess I just have to finally except that I'm not going to believe in God for many many years to come, if ever.
My problem is that I have no idea how to tell people. I would probably be ostracized at my school. And if I told my parents (who are not extremely religious but would definitly not be happy), they would think that if I went to church more, I would believe. So they would make me sit through more sermons on things so ludacris that I would feel like screeming until they finally accepted that I wasn't going to change mind. So I think I will be hiding in my little atheism-closet until I'm 18.
But back to my peers. Like I said before, I live in Texas, so religious acceptance is not easily found. I could name maybe 10 kids who wouldn't really care I was atheist. The rest would think I was immoral, hateful and pessimistic. I already take alot of heat from them for being a democrat (or 'demon-crat'), so I'm not looking forward to sharing my beliefs with anyone.
What would really be helpful is some ways to get through all this. I'm so confused right now. But honestly, religion seems like a nice idea made up by people trying to take advantage of other people. "Do what i say or god will send you to hell!" or "God told me to kill him, he's a disbeliever!", "Jimmy, go to bed, or God will damn your soul!"
Anyway, thanks to anyone who read all that and lots of thanks to people who reply. It feels good to just say what I think and not worry about being judged.

You know, I'm in a totally different set of circumstances - here, the only people who really give a damn about us atheists are the fundies. And they are but a handful.

However, I think I understand your situation and personally, I think honesty is the best policy. Just tell them that you do not believe in god(s) or the divine message in the Bible (That would be nicely omitting everything that has to do with the "moral" message of it, if you wish it). Eventually, thay'll get over it. If not, then they are not your friends and you need not care.

Congratulations on seeing the light (or not, depending on how you look at it  :shock:

Welcome Happysmiley,

I'm in Texas also, and there are a number of others from Texas on this forum.  Texas is a big place, so depending where you are, the acceptance of non-religious views varies.  Since I live in the Dallas area, the population is fairly diverse, so there is a mix of all kinds of religious and non-religious people.  Austin is also a diverse city.  I have heard some horror stories of people living in some small towns in TX where the people are more homogeneous, usually Christian, and less tolerant of people who don't fit the locally accepted lifestyle.

Unfortunately, you cannot control where you were born and what your parents believe.  It sounds like you an an independent thinker and have a good understanding of your situation.  4 more years might seem forever when you are young, but it will get better when you become 18 and have more control of where you can live and who you associate with.  Meanwhile, you have the support of the internet.  There are plenty of people on the internet that share your views, and you are welcome to hang out here.

Hi happy...since you are in an area that thinks democrats are evil, my advice is to activate a don't ask don't tell policy with your being an atheist until you are of age and able to get out of that town.  

This girl, http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu ... D=67090362 (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=67090362)  got kicked out of a small Oklahoma high school for expressing her beliefs.

Basically, unless you are ready to do what would need to be done to stand up for yourself even if it means getting expelled then having to expose the issue on a national level....you might be happier to just go about your business for another 4 years without worrying about being an open atheist. But, if you want to be an activist...more power to you and I'll do whatever I can to help from Dallas.

Welcome, Happysmiley... I concur with everyone who has posted so far.  Because of where you are, it's probably best to just keep it under wraps for now, live your life as best you can while keeping true to yourself and when you turn 18, get in with the rest of your life.  It's just not worth it if you can just deal for awhile longer.

Post here when you need a smile or a kind word... we'll always be here to provide it.  

Hey Happysmiley, welcome!

I'm pretty much going through the same thing you are (though I don't live in Texas, but my home town is pretty conservative). I totally know what you mean about wanting to believe it all but just can't. My family is very conservative Christian. I was a hardcore, evangelizing Christian up until about 4 months ago give or take. I'm 16. I wanted to wait until I was old enough to move out before I told my family, but with my dad, it just didn't work. He's borderline fundie and so me not going to church for a few months didn't sit well with him. He wanted an explanation and boy did I give him one.

I would suggest you find out exactly what you believe and don't believe before you tell someone. Take your time. I got really hasty. I pretty much had to tell my dad, but looking back on it, I think I told him too soon. He presented questions that I didn't know how to answer. I knew I didn't believe in God anymore, but I didn't really know why I didn't and what I did believe. Find yourself and be confident in yourself and then you will be able to stand behind your views and not budge  for anyone.  

After that, consider whether you even need to make your views known before you move out. If you don't need to, don't. It's nobody's business but your own. Tell who you want to and don't tell who you don't want to. Just be careful. My relationship with my dad isn't at all the same now. We hardly speak about anything other than my schoolwork or band. And I have to really watch what I say in my house because I disagree with pretty much everyone in my family on anything religious or political. But I have told close friends who have accepted me just fine. It's not all bad.

I'm not sure if this is the same story laetusatheos posted, but I saw this VIDEO (http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=price+of+atheism&search_type=url) on YouTube called "The Price of Atheism." It shocked me when I saw it.  

So I hope that helped a bit. I'm going through it and many others are too. You are never alone (and I know how lonely it feels sometimes). rlrose328 is right, post here if you need advice or just to vent. This forum has really helped me. And you can email me if you want to (I think it's in my profile).

Welcome to the heathen side of life. Happy posting!

I can't imagine having to go through this at your age, but I have a keen understanding of your geo-demographics.   It's very hard to be the nail that stands out....you will just get hammered down.  You sound like a very intelligent person who understands the pitfalls of your situation.  Just four years to go and you will be able to escape....hopefully to college somewhere else.  Austin is a great town if you ever get a chance to live there!

Good Luck!

Welcome to the forum, happysmiley.  

I agree with the rest of the posters--do not discuss your atheism just yet.  You are in a difficult situation and unfortunately you will gain nothing by being totally honest.  When you are no longer under your parent's roof or depending on them for financial support, then you might consider telling them.  But don't rush into it now.  

Feel free to vent and ask questions on the forum anytime.  That's kind of what we do here.  

Quote from: "Happysmiley"But honestly, religion seems like a nice idea made up by people trying to take advantage of other people. "Do what i say or god will send you to hell!" or "God told me to kill him, he's a disbeliever!", "Jimmy, go to bed, or God will damn your soul!"
Anyway, thanks to anyone who read all that and lots of thanks to people who reply. It feels good to just say what I think and not worry about being judged.

Hi, Happy - and welcome to the forum.

You're right when you say that religion allows people to take advantage of you in the name of the Lord. The manipulation is so subtle, until one day you realize that if your pastor says 'jump' in the name of Jesus, you had better jump, or face social isolation from those who are supposed to be your friends, your 'brothers and sisters' in Christ. Lame!

Hey Smiley!  Welcome to the forum!

I admire you for coming to such an important realization at your age - it took many of us far longer to be so courageous.  The rest of these folks are right - as much as you hear that we have religious freedom in this country, we really don't.  We don't have freedom from religion.  I live in a pretty conservative part of Florida, so I can kind of relate to your situation - I counted 17 churches on one of our streets!

Have a good time here - at least you'll have some like-minded people to talk to!

thanks everybody.
There are times when I really want to tell someone,anyone. Today I told two friends, both at the same time. They were both christians, one was the kind of person who would believe that people were made out of mud and God's breath before she would even consider evolution. The other was more like me, a democrat and evolution supporter, even though she is a theist. They didnt seem surprised (I've kind of been voicing my opinion subtly a little before hand) Their reaction wasnt like "wow, that's so cool!"  but I was just glad that they accepted it.
Well the school years just ended for me, which will definitely be easier. I'm still sticking with my decision to not tell my parents. They would probably think that I just didn't want to spend my Sundays at church. It would take a while for them to fully accept that I will never believe in God, heaven or miracles. They probably think I'm too immature to be able to make such a huge decision
There is also about a 40% chance that Creation will be in our textbooks soon. For science. If it makes it in I swear I will purposefully fail every test on it.
Well, I have to go, I've been having to type this on my iPod so my parents won't see, and it's about out of batteries. Bye

Quote from: "Happysmiley"There is also about a 40% chance that Creation will be in our textbooks soon. For science. If it makes it in I swear I will purposefully fail every test on it.

If you need any help with that, just ask. I have no problem testifying in front of backwards school boards.

Quote from: "Happysmiley"thanks everybody.
There is also about a 40% chance that Creation will be in our textbooks soon. For science. If it makes it in I swear I will purposefully fail every test on it.

Don't fail science class over this, it's not worth your future; instead you might be able to give equally stupid answers to the ones they want to get then make a case for why your answer is just as 'correct' as the god did it answer ...how the hell can the test on Creation anyway?  

There isn't really much to learn about creationism, really. My school, because they were private and could do what they liked, taught it in GCSE Biology (GCSEs are exams that you do when you're 16 and study for from the age of 14). About half a page was devoted to it in the text book, so it wasn't that terrifying. There isn't really much to explain, is there? If it does get in, it'll only take up about five minutes in a lesson to cover. That's my bet.

Still, fingers crossed it doesn't.

And I second what a lot of others have said: just don't spread it around. It's not really anyone's business what your political or religious beliefs are anyway, so it's not as though you're hiding from anything. Information like that is yours to share at your own leisure. Often, when I encounter fundies in the US, I pretend to be Christian and then subtly make fun of them without their realising.  "Isn't God great?" "Yes. Yes he certainly is. Just look at this banana... true factual evidence of his wonderful design..." et cetera. I recommend you try it. It's fun.

I guess I don't really mind having to learn it. It's just the idea of religion slowly creeping into our schools.  What's next, studying the Ten Commandments? Saying grace before we eat? It won't take long, some people are already pushing for morning prayer. (I watched that video on atheism.  That's the sort of thing I don't want in my school.) my dad did say that if those sort of things happen here that he would put me in a private school.  My parents aren't very religious (more religious than me though) They believe in god but don't take the Bible litteraly.
On a lighter note, I drew a picture of the invisible pink unicorn on my ankle. It was fun because they don't know what it means. They were like " What's that mean?" and I was like "oh, it's just a doodle."  

Welcome, Happysmiley!

It's great to hear about young people forging their own path.  

If you haven't told your parents yet, take your time about it.  Maybe try talking about tolerance for different belief systems to get a feel for how they'd take the news before committing to a course of action.  When the time comes to tell them be respectful and don't become argumentative even if they start it.  It will just hurt your position.  Use your judgment when telling people you are an atheist.  Don't try telling anyone for shock value, you could get hurt.  Always keep your safety in mind.

Also, any time you need to vent about this there are plenty of people here willing to be supportive, who have been in similar circumstances.

QuoteMaybe try talking about tolerance for different belief systems to get a feel for how they'd take the news before committing to a course of action.

That's the problem with parents: the ethical principles that they apply to the world do not always mean anything in the context of themselves or their children. My ex-boyfriend had parents who were tolerant of homosexuality and even campaigned for gay marriage pre-2005. When their son 'came out of the closet', however, it was a whole different kettle of fish.

Quote from: "Mister Joy"That's the problem with parents: the ethical principles that they apply to the world do not always mean anything in the context of themselves or their children. My ex-boyfriend had parents who were tolerant of homosexuality and even campaigned for gay marriage pre-2005. When their son 'came out of the closet', however, it was a whole different kettle of fish.

Hypocricy at its finest. I wonder, what exactly is so different about your kid being gay or someone from the other side of country? And if you support one for being gay, would you not have to support the other too? Or at least have some moral responsibility not to oppose them?

I see what you're getting at. I think my parents are very accepting people. But they also feel that God should be a part of your life. I think if I told them now, when I'm only 14 they would think I wasn't old enough to make that decision or that I was just bored of going to church. I don't think they would take me at face value, at least not at first. But when I'm 18, I can opt out of the church thing. And I know my aunt would have a heat attack. She changed her will so that her kids would go and live with some family from their church if she died, instead of living with us, which is what it used to say, because she thinks her kids would go to Hell if they lived with us. Meaning I'm already hell-bound, even if I wasn't an atheist. she's a nice person though

Yes, she sounds charming.

Ah... Hell... What all theists fail to explain to me is why exactly hell is so bad. Ok, they got burning fires and spits for roasting sinners on and legions of demons and five (?) fallen angels and they burn your soul for all eternity, right?

Uhm... A soul, not being a material thing, would have no nerve endings to register pain, heat, cold or pretty much anything. If a soul is immortal, it needs not fear death either, right? So what exactly is so terrible about the generic Christian Hell except maybe a somewhat displeasing (for some) scenary?

Quote from: "Mister Joy"There isn't really much to learn about creationism, really. My school, because they were private and could do what they liked, taught it in GCSE Biology

Sounds similar to my school.  I went to a religious private school, and in Biology class the teacher devoted one lecture to creationism.  The students in the class were mostly unimpressed and shrugged it off.  After that one lecture, we went right back to the more traditional study of Biology.

Hi Happysmiley, glad to have you here.  Even if the schools don't give you a good science background, there's always the net and there are plenty of sites and forums to learn evolution from like richarddawkins.net.  I have to say I admire younger people like you who are able to embrace their atheism early on.  It took me a long time to finally stop trying to find some sort of alternative religion and just admit I didn't believe all the craziness anyway.

A whole lot has happened to me recently concerning atheism. For starters, I just got back from a music camp where I met another atheist. He was a year younger than me and has been an atheist since he was very young. He asked me for some atheist websites so I gave him this URL. Maybe he'll join.  
My parents found out that I was an atheist today. While I was gone, my little brother told them that I had been looking at atheist websites.  They didn't freak out or anything, they said they don't care if I'm a Christian, they just want me to be 'spiritual'. I'm not sure what that means but probably includes believing in a creator but not the Bible.  
I still have to go to church

Quote from: "Happysmiley"A whole lot has happened to me recently concerning atheism. For starters, I just got back from a music camp where I met another atheist. He was a year younger than me and has been an atheist since he was very young. He asked me for some atheist websites so I gave him this URL. Maybe he'll join.

cool...we'd be glad to have him here.
   

QuoteMy parents found out that I was an atheist today. While I was gone, my little brother told them that I had been looking at atheist websites.  They didn't freak out or anything, they said they don't care if I'm a Christian, they just want me to be 'spiritual'. I'm not sure what that means but probably includes believing in a creator but not the Bible.  
I still have to go to church

That wasn't very nice of your brother...siblings are a big pain.  At least your parents seemed to have taken it well, even if they don't quite grasp what atheist means (probably for the better, I wouldn't correct them).

"Spiritual" is a belief in a transcendent reality. It means you believe in some sort of religion or superstition without wanting to label yourself or interact with organized religion. Of course this doesn't describe you at all, you're a weak atheist, joining the ranks of such people as Einstein and Galileo, Sir Arthur C. Clarke and Tolstoy.