So, I've been mildly seeing this woman for a few weeks now and last night I got the, "Do you believe in God" question... Oh boy... In the past, I would have been very elusive in my answer, as to not offend or upset the asker of this question. Last night however, I let it loose! (You've all inspired me somewhat!)
...Given that I was working on a way to end the relationship, I figured, what the hell, here goes. She very clearly was upset with my answer about being an Atheist. She actually had to get up and go outside for a minute, stating "how disappointed she was in my answer". This from a woman that has 3 kids, all of which fathers are in prison, has been in prison herself (I know, real winner here - hence the reason(s) for ending it) But she is a strong believer in god...
Now, I will give her credit, she didn't bolt immediately, but she was looking for some action and I think she wanted that before she bailed on me. Of which, I wasn't apposed to (I am only a man). So we'll see if she talks to me today or at all again. I think I'll be ok either way, it's just a funny story and you guys have definitely had an effect on me! I thank you!
At least you wanted it to end. The last girl I went out with asked the same question and lets just say she wasn't pleased with the answer. We had a nice argument in the middle of the restaurant. Classy...
That's really what I expected, but she seemed to be biting her tongue! Oh well. We'll see how it goes!
This is a funny way to end a relationship. It's not you, it's me. I'm an atheist. I'm sorry." ;D
Hey, it's an easy way out! She's seemed to not really mind it too much anyway. She has said she doesn't like it, but she'll let me know when she's done with me!! :o That's what she said!! So I guess I'll ride it out and be thrown away when done!
love how christians take want they want from their faith/idea of god/bible....
hahahaha
'i believe in god, but i'd like to shag whoever i like, whenever i like'
Quote from: kitty on June 14, 2012, 04:23:46 PM
love how christians take want they want from their faith/idea of god/bible....
hahahaha
'i believe in god, but i'd like to fuck whoever i like, whenever i like'
I don't believe that the disparity between what people profess and what they do is confined to (some) Christians.There is also evidence that the proposition that Christians are hypocrites is subject to numerous honourable exceptions.
Quote from: daddyferrari on June 12, 2012, 03:06:23 PM
So, I've been mildly seeing this woman for a few weeks now and last night I got the, "Do you believe in God" question... Oh boy... In the past, I would have been very elusive in my answer, as to not offend or upset the asker of this question. Last night however, I let it loose! (You've all inspired me somewhat!)
...Given that I was working on a way to end the relationship, I figured, what the hell, here goes. She very clearly was upset with my answer about being an Atheist. She actually had to get up and go outside for a minute, stating "how disappointed she was in my answer". This from a woman that has 3 kids, all of which fathers are in prison, has been in prison herself (I know, real winner here - hence the reason(s) for ending it) But she is a strong believer in god...
Now, I will give her credit, she didn't bolt immediately, but she was looking for some action and I think she wanted that before she bailed on me. Of which, I wasn't apposed to (I am only a man). So we'll see if she talks to me today or at all again. I think I'll be ok either way, it's just a funny story and you guys have definitely had an effect on me! I thank you!
This is a classic really- all the motivations,contradictions and cross-purposes at play.Hilarious.
Quote from: daddyferrari on June 12, 2012, 11:18:14 PM
Hey, it's an easy way out! She's seemed to not really mind it too much anyway. She has said she doesn't like it, but she'll let me know when she's done with me!! :o That's what she said!! So I guess I'll ride it out and be thrown away when done!
If you don't want to be with her, why don't you just end it? ???
Quote from: Ali on June 14, 2012, 04:44:28 PM
Quote from: daddyferrari on June 12, 2012, 11:18:14 PM
Hey, it's an easy way out! She's seemed to not really mind it too much anyway. She has said she doesn't like it, but she'll let me know when she's done with me!! :o That's what she said!! So I guess I'll ride it out and be thrown away when done!
If you don't want to be with her, why don't you just end it? ???
The key may lie in the phrase "ride it out".
Quote from: En_Route on June 14, 2012, 04:37:15 PM
Quote from: kitty on June 14, 2012, 04:23:46 PM
love how christians take want they want from their faith/idea of god/bible....
hahahaha
'i believe in god, but i'd like to fuck whoever i like, whenever i like'
I don't believe that the disparity between what people profess and what they do is confined to (some) Christians.There is also evidence that the proposition that Christians are hypocrites is subject to numerous honourable exceptions.
both points are very true, but she seems to be using his lack of faith against him, like he's not good enough for her because of what he does/doesnt believe in.
not to go all biblical, but speck of dust vs plank of wood in the eye much.
Quote from: kitty on June 14, 2012, 05:48:14 PM
Quote from: En_Route on June 14, 2012, 04:37:15 PM
Quote from: kitty on June 14, 2012, 04:23:46 PM
love how christians take want they want from their faith/idea of god/bible....
hahahaha
'i believe in god, but i'd like to fuck whoever i like, whenever i like'
I don't believe that the disparity between what people profess and what they do is confined to (some) Christians.There is also evidence that the proposition that Christians are hypocrites is subject to numerous honourable exceptions.
both points are very true, but she seems to be using his lack of faith against him, like he's not good enough for her because of what he does/doesnt believe in.
not to go all biblical, but speck of dust vs plank of wood in the eye much.
An alternative thesis, with all due deference to Mr.Ferrari and his taste in female companions, is that she is off her trolley.
Quote from: En_Route on June 14, 2012, 05:55:42 PM
Quote from: kitty on June 14, 2012, 05:48:14 PM
Quote from: En_Route on June 14, 2012, 04:37:15 PM
Quote from: kitty on June 14, 2012, 04:23:46 PM
love how christians take want they want from their faith/idea of god/bible....
hahahaha
'i believe in god, but i'd like to fuck whoever i like, whenever i like'
I don't believe that the disparity between what people profess and what they do is confined to (some) Christians.There is also evidence that the proposition that Christians are hypocrites is subject to numerous honourable exceptions.
both points are very true, but she seems to be using his lack of faith against him, like he's not good enough for her because of what he does/doesnt believe in.
not to go all biblical, but speck of dust vs plank of wood in the eye much.
An alternative thesis, with all due deference to Mr.Ferrari and his taste in female companions, is that she is off her trolley.
And so is he for refusing to end it before he gets....... something. Either laid or shanked.
Basing a relationship upon religious views isn't a great way to continue a relationship if the one of the members isn't tolerant of the others views but then they're quite the hypocrite...
My marriage is DEFINITELY not built around religious views, despite my wife's belief in god. We just don't push anything like that on each other. It helps that she doesn't belief in the Christian god of the Bible, but more of a god in general that allows good people like her cousin that died at the age of 21 to have a nice afterlife since she seemed so robbed of her chance to live a full life. It's okay that god let her die if she's in heaven, right? I just don't thinks he wants to give up that idea.
I could tell you, though, that if she was a regular church goer, especially in one of the fundie denominations so popular around where we live, that could become an issue.
As for why he would continue seeing her if he didn't see it going anywhere long term... why not? If you have nothing else going on, there's more to life than just love. Just dating and hanging out with someone (and, of course, what red-blooded American male wouldn't want to knock boots when given the opportunity to be used for such purpose?) can be a very positive experience, even if there isn't love involved.
You can be a mass murderer, a child rapist, a con artist or a drug dealer those a person can look past.
But an Atheist, not even god forgives that one.
I have no clue what this female's ideals are concerning God or her Christianity.
But I think there's a thread somewhere on HAF Athiests, would you marry a religious person? (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=6053.0)
In the least, the concensus seems to be that of caution. What's the difference? A religious person simply acknowledges a higher code to live by, not that that code is kept perfectly. We are human and still have human emotions and human failings.
Sure, we are hypocrites...its human nature to do what feels good.
Quote from: Stevil on June 14, 2012, 09:19:36 PM
You can be a mass murderer, a child rapist, a con artist or a drug dealer those a person can look past.
But an Atheist, not even god forgives that one.
God can and does forgive...even the atheist in the same manner He forgives the murderer...
You haven't been zapped dead have you?
Quote from: fester30 on June 14, 2012, 08:39:23 PM
As for why he would continue seeing her if he didn't see it going anywhere long term... why not? If you have nothing else going on, there's more to life than just love. Just dating and hanging out with someone (and, of course, what red-blooded American male wouldn't want to knock boots when given the opportunity to be used for such purpose?) can be a very positive experience, even if there isn't love involved.
Sure, but he doesn't even really sound like he likes her.
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on June 14, 2012, 09:32:31 PM
Quote from: Stevil on June 14, 2012, 09:19:36 PM
You can be a mass murderer, a child rapist, a con artist or a drug dealer those a person can look past.
But an Atheist, not even god forgives that one.
God can and does forgive...even the atheist in the same manner He forgives the murderer...
You haven't been zapped dead have you?
If I believe what you tell me, your god is going to burn me into oblivion, (after I'm dead of course, in the "afterlife"), can't wait for that one.
Quote from: Ali on June 14, 2012, 10:03:49 PM
Quote from: fester30 on June 14, 2012, 08:39:23 PM
As for why he would continue seeing her if he didn't see it going anywhere long term... why not? If you have nothing else going on, there's more to life than just love. Just dating and hanging out with someone (and, of course, what red-blooded American male wouldn't want to knock boots when given the opportunity to be used for such purpose?) can be a very positive experience, even if there isn't love involved.
Sure, but he doesn't even really sound like he likes her.
Sex with someone you thoroughly dislike can be a very beautiful thing.
You all are awesome!!
Update. We're both very open and up front with one another and, honestly, are really using each other for companionship. We get along good, on most levels. She's really pretty open minded and that's a plus. We know that this is not a "love connection", but we are having a good time and enjoying each others company, while we can.
I was a little nervous, at first, because of her past, but I feel alright about it. Either she's a really good liar or she's genuinely a good person, with a rough past. Regardless, we'll enjoy our time together, debate over religion, go to the movies and hang out until one of us decides to move on.
Thanks again all, I think I'm in love with this website, oh and thechive.com!
Take care all!
Huh. I admit to lacking particular insight into such a situation. The last time I revealed an admission of nonexistent faith, the nature of brevity in the relationship became somewhat...exacerbated.
Then again, I do remember another relationship that exemplifies a reversal of roles in light of such an admission. It was I who abandoned her.
Quote from: RenegeReversi on June 23, 2012, 09:23:13 PM
Then again, I do remember another relationship that exemplifies a reversal of roles in light of such an admission. It was I who abandoned her.
You where religious at the time?
Couldn't stand her not being Christian?
Pretty much, yeah. Though she technically was a christian. Just belonged to a small cult of, like, 15 members.
I found it was always good to be up front when asked directly. I might start by saying I was a Strong Agnostic, but most people recognize that as an Atheist. When I was in the dating part of my life I was in college, and that time period made being an Atheist or Agnostic almost acceptable.
I found a person who is a deist, and has been able to put up with my endless bitching on Religion or the Catholic Church yet still see other layers of my personality. I guess I was lucky.
I would suggest you look in areas with higher education levels for your girlfriends. It will make life a lot easier.
Quote from: En_Route on June 15, 2012, 12:02:34 AM
Quote from: Ali on June 14, 2012, 10:03:49 PM
Quote from: fester30 on June 14, 2012, 08:39:23 PM
As for why he would continue seeing her if he didn't see it going anywhere long term... why not? If you have nothing else going on, there's more to life than just love. Just dating and hanging out with someone (and, of course, what red-blooded American male wouldn't want to knock boots when given the opportunity to be used for such purpose?) can be a very positive experience, even if there isn't love involved.
Sure, but he doesn't even really sound like he likes her.
Sex with someone you thoroughly dislike can be a very beautiful thing.
I don't fully agree with this. Sex with someone you don't like can be a physical release, and can be good. Same can be said of masturbation, but sex with someone who you care about can be a mind blowing experience. I have had both and once you find the mind blowing experience it would be hard to return to Just sex.
Quote from: cncracer on June 25, 2012, 12:50:14 PM
Quote from: En_Route on June 15, 2012, 12:02:34 AM
Quote from: Ali on June 14, 2012, 10:03:49 PM
Quote from: fester30 on June 14, 2012, 08:39:23 PM
As for why he would continue seeing her if he didn't see it going anywhere long term... why not? If you have nothing else going on, there's more to life than just love. Just dating and hanging out with someone (and, of course, what red-blooded American male wouldn't want to knock boots when given the opportunity to be used for such purpose?) can be a very positive experience, even if there isn't love involved.
Sure, but he doesn't even really sound like he likes her.
Sex with someone you thoroughly dislike can be a very beautiful thing.
I don't fully agree with this. Sex with someone you don't like can be a physical release, and can be good. Same can be said of masturbation, but sex with someone who you care about can be a mind blowing experience. I have had both and once you find the mind blowing experience it would be hard to return to Just sex.
Maybe, but it can turn messy. There is something to be said for separating sex from your personal life.
Quote from: En_Route on June 25, 2012, 02:19:52 PM
Quote from: cncracer on June 25, 2012, 12:50:14 PM
Quote from: En_Route on June 15, 2012, 12:02:34 AM
Quote from: Ali on June 14, 2012, 10:03:49 PM
Quote from: fester30 on June 14, 2012, 08:39:23 PM
As for why he would continue seeing her if he didn't see it going anywhere long term... why not? If you have nothing else going on, there's more to life than just love. Just dating and hanging out with someone (and, of course, what red-blooded American male wouldn't want to knock boots when given the opportunity to be used for such purpose?) can be a very positive experience, even if there isn't love involved.
Sure, but he doesn't even really sound like he likes her.
Sex with someone you thoroughly dislike can be a very beautiful thing.
I don't fully agree with this. Sex with someone you don't like can be a physical release, and can be good. Same can be said of masturbation, but sex with someone who you care about can be a mind blowing experience. I have had both and once you find the mind blowing experience it would be hard to return to Just sex.
Maybe, but it can turn messy. There is something to be said for separating sex from your personal life.
I don't hold any romantic notions that you have to be "in love" with every person you sleep with, but I can't fathom sleeping with someone that I don't even like. Laughing during sex is like the best thing ever. (Because it combines two best things ever) and so I have made it a rule that I will never sleep with someone that doesn't make me laugh. It's a moot point nowadays since I also don't sleep with anyone other than my husband (who, not coincidentally, makes me laugh more or less constantly) but I still think it's a good rule.
Quote from: Ali on June 25, 2012, 04:16:12 PM
Quote from: En_Route on June 25, 2012, 02:19:52 PM
Quote from: cncracer on June 25, 2012, 12:50:14 PM
Quote from: En_Route on June 15, 2012, 12:02:34 AM
Quote from: Ali on June 14, 2012, 10:03:49 PM
Quote from: fester30 on June 14, 2012, 08:39:23 PM
As for why he would continue seeing her if he didn't see it going anywhere long term... why not? If you have nothing else going on, there's more to life than just love. Just dating and hanging out with someone (and, of course, what red-blooded American male wouldn't want to knock boots when given the opportunity to be used for such purpose?) can be a very positive experience, even if there isn't love involved.
Sure, but he doesn't even really sound like he likes her.
Sex with someone you thoroughly dislike can be a very beautiful thing.
I don't fully agree with this. Sex with someone you don't like can be a physical release, and can be good. Same can be said of masturbation, but sex with someone who you care about can be a mind blowing experience. I have had both and once you find the mind blowing experience it would be hard to return to Just sex.
Maybe, but it can turn messy. There is something to be said for separating sex from your personal life.
I don't hold any romantic notions that you have to be "in love" with every person you sleep with, but I can't fathom sleeping with someone that I don't even like. Laughing during sex is like the best thing ever. (Because it combines two best things ever) and so I have made it a rule that I will never sleep with someone that doesn't make me laugh. It's a moot point nowadays since I also don't sleep with anyone other than my husband (who, not coincidentally, makes me laugh more or less constantly) but I still think it's a good rule.
There is no mirth in my boudoir. Well apart from me and that is more of a manic cackle.
That's a terrifying mental image. :D
Quote from: Ali on June 25, 2012, 04:25:32 PM
That's a terrifying mental image. :D
It's even more terrifying in the flesh.
Quote from: Ali on June 25, 2012, 04:16:12 PM
I don't hold any romantic notions that you have to be "in love" with every person you sleep with, but I can't fathom sleeping with someone that I don't even like. Laughing during sex is like the best thing ever. (Because it combines two best things ever) and so I have made it a rule that I will never sleep with someone that doesn't make me laugh. It's a moot point nowadays since I also don't sleep with anyone other than my husband (who, not coincidentally, makes me laugh more or less constantly) but I still think it's a good rule.
i agree. cant take anything too seriously, especially sex, coz when i think about it, its ridiculous lol.
have had sex with people i dont lilke or care about, and i dont think its good for me at all. leaves me a bit empty. and having been married for a meesly 5 yrs, i now see that the old fashioned movie/novel style love does not exsist and its more about liking each other, mutual respect and all that. but sex with someone you've practised with for years with is awesome!! woudlnt change that for the world.
Quote from: kitty on June 27, 2012, 10:18:35 AM
Quote from: Ali on June 25, 2012, 04:16:12 PM
I don't hold any romantic notions that you have to be "in love" with every person you sleep with, but I can't fathom sleeping with someone that I don't even like. Laughing during sex is like the best thing ever. (Because it combines two best things ever) and so I have made it a rule that I will never sleep with someone that doesn't make me laugh. It's a moot point nowadays since I also don't sleep with anyone other than my husband (who, not coincidentally, makes me laugh more or less constantly) but I still think it's a good rule.
i agree. cant take anything too seriously, especially sex, coz when i think about it, its ridiculous lol.
have had sex with people i dont lilke or care about, and i dont think its good for me at all. leaves me a bit empty. and having been married for a meesly 5 yrs, i now see that the old fashioned movie/novel style love does not exsist and its more about liking each other, mutual respect and all that. but sex with someone you've practised with for years with is awesome!! woudlnt change that for the world.
Granted, but there is something to be said for sex under an assumed name.
Quote from: En_Route on July 01, 2012, 11:34:13 AM
Granted, but there is something to be said for sex under an assumed name.
Two words: role playing. Or should that be one hyphenated word? Oh crap now that's nine words. Fifteen now. Dangit. Nineteen.