In the Avengers thread I made mention of a "scathing review" for this movie. Honestly, I can't be bothered. Here I thought (I'm ex-Navy) was what would be a cool good 'ol aliens vs humans in a naval setting movie.
Take my word for it, it was just
STUPID!!!
All of it!!
The good part is that lead actor (who did a great job as Tim Riggins in the tv show Friday Night Lights) was also in John Carter which will go down as one of the worst box office flops of all time. It's budget was over $250M and it lost Disney over $200M. Now, coupled with Battleship we won't have to see much of this kid, except for straight to the AMPM bargain bin of DVDs.
Quote from: Gawen on May 28, 2012, 01:37:35 PM
In the Avengers thread I made mention of a "scathing review" for this movie. Honestly, I can't be bothered. Here I thought (I'm ex-Navy) was what would be a cool good 'ol aliens vs humans in a naval setting movie.
Take my word for it, it was just
STUPID!!!
All of it!!
Kind of figured this movie was worthless, but thanks for making the sacrifice to see it and thanks for letting us know.
Reminds me of Cowboys vs. Aliens. I kept thinking, "How bad can it really be?". Then I went to see it and found out. Total stinko!
I never even knew about this movie. I was expecting a discussion about the classic Battleship game.
You're ex-Navy, right, McQ?
They had a multi-country war game with ships so close, they could be refueling. No one has run ships this close in combat since before Dreadnoughts...even in war games. This fleet was steaming a few hundreds yards apart.
Our hero's, a handful of Japanese sailors and a dozen ex-Missouri Sailors (all over 70 years old), perhaps 50 or so all totaled, had the Missouri's boilers fired up and underway in a few minutes. In reality, from zero fire to full steam it takes roughly 9-12 hours. This from a ship museum that should have no fuel, and needs nearly a 500 person skeleton crew to run and who's boilers haven't been fired 20 years. All the lights on board work. Nothing looked mothballed.
About 20 live rounds and the powder sacks for the main guns remain on board....a museum ship. Of course, the mains were in such fine shape and the shells looked nearly brand new. And these few people all know how to load 16 inch guns that their reloads were quick. Our heros are so brilliant that they knew exactly how to use upgraded 70 year old fire control systems accurately and that's without the radar controlled systems because it was jammed. I don't know how they did because when they used their mains on the ships that were blown out from underneath them, they all missed.
And this next one totally yanked me (pun intended--read on). A lot of people don't know this, but I do. Missouri is steaming hard, straight at one of the big aliens ships. She turns hard to port to get all the mains on for a broadside...about a quarter mile away. She can't make the turn fast enough before the alien ship fires, so our Hero does a manoeuvre that 17th century ships did called Clubhauling. They drop the port anchor so that when the anchor catches the bottom, it'll yank around the bow of the ship. You can see this in the 1st Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
Problem is, large ship anchors and chain are NOT attached to somewhere in the ship. Large ships can only anchor in water so deep. The weight of the anchor chain, which can be a 1/2 mile long and each link (in the case of Missouri) weighs 150 pounds and the remaining chain in the ship keeps the entire chain from going over the side. IOW, if a battleship went to deep ocean and dropped the anchor, the entire chain would fly out of the ship at around 80+ mph. And that's why the chain was not attached to the ship--it would pull her guts out.
Needless to say, a ship displacing somewhere around 45,000 tons, at a speed of 33 knots that drops an attached anchor...well, something's gonna break. Of course, the Mighty Mo never misses a beat and fires the broadsides accurately.
And when did the Navy go from "Aye" or "Aye sir" to "Copy"?????
And the alien ships. They can fly through space, can remain submerged under water, but in atmosphere, they can't fly....they jump??!!
This was just part of the movie. Never mind the overblown human conflict...the unbelievable and atrocious acting, the incredible scenario....
This is just one of the worst movies I've seen yet...ever.
Cowboys and aliens was better.
Quote from: ThinkAnarchy on May 28, 2012, 05:16:32 PM
I never even knew about this movie. I was expecting a discussion about the classic Battleship game.
That's what this movie is....extremely loosely...based off of.
I remember contemplating whether to watch thois movie or not. Read the synopse...ok...war movie...sort of transformer-ish with big effects and so on...okay...WTF? Aliens?! :o ??? ::)
Maybe wait until it comes out on DVD so I can watch a version someone streamed online. ::)
Quote from: Gawen on May 28, 2012, 05:58:49 PM
You're ex-Navy, right, McQ?
They had a multi-country war game with ships so close, they could be refueling. No one has run ships this close in combat since before Dreadnoughts...even in war games. This fleet was steaming a few hundreds yards apart.
Our hero's, a handful of Japanese sailors and a dozen ex-Missouri Sailors (all over 70 years old), perhaps 50 or so all totaled, had the Missouri's boilers fired up and underway in a few minutes. In reality, from zero fire to full steam it takes roughly 9-12 hours. This from a ship museum that should have no fuel, and needs nearly a 500 person skeleton crew to run and who's boilers haven't been fired 20 years. All the lights on board work. Nothing looked mothballed.
About 20 live rounds and the powder sacks for the main guns remain on board....a museum ship. Of course, the mains were in such fine shape and the shells looked nearly brand new. And these few people all know how to load 16 inch guns that their reloads were quick. Our heros are so brilliant that they knew exactly how to use upgraded 70 year old fire control systems accurately and that's without the radar controlled systems because it was jammed. I don't know how they did because when they used their mains on the ships that were blown out from underneath them, they all missed.
And this next one totally yanked me (pun intended--read on). A lot of people don't know this, but I do. Missouri is steaming hard, straight at one of the big aliens ships. She turns hard to port to get all the mains on for a broadside...about a quarter mile away. She can't make the turn fast enough before the alien ship fires, so our Hero does a manoeuvre that 17th century ships did called Clubhauling. They drop the port anchor so that when the anchor catches the bottom, it'll yank around the bow of the ship. You can see this in the 1st Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
Problem is, large ship anchors and chain are NOT attached to somewhere in the ship. Large ships can only anchor in water so deep. The weight of the anchor chain, which can be a 1/2 mile long and each link (in the case of Missouri) weighs 150 pounds and the remaining chain in the ship keeps the entire chain from going over the side. IOW, if a battleship went to deep ocean and dropped the anchor, the entire chain would fly out of the ship at around 80+ mph. And that's why the chain was not attached to the ship--it would pull her guts out.
Needless to say, a ship displacing somewhere around 45,000 tons, at a speed of 33 knots that drops an attached anchor...well, something's gonna break. Of course, the Mighty Mo never misses a beat and fires the broadsides accurately.
And when did the Navy go from "Aye" or "Aye sir" to "Copy"?????
And the alien ships. They can fly through space, can remain submerged under water, but in atmosphere, they can't fly....they jump??!!
This was just part of the movie. Never mind the overblown human conflict...the unbelievable and atrocious acting, the incredible scenario....
This is just one of the worst movies I've seen yet...ever.
Cowboys and aliens was better.
Holy shit, this really is a total piece of crap! Great recap of the enormous amount of asinine that they piled into this movie. Again, I can only say thanks for taking one for the team and waving us off! Lol!
I'm former Army Aviation, but dad and step-dad were career Navy (53 combined years between them), going back to WWII and Korea and up to the 1970s. So I am able to grasp the significance of all those serious gaffes by the filmmakers.
One of the things that I comment on every time I see a movie, show, game, anything with military in it, is how they always say, "Copy that." It's become so ubiquitous that I think that no one making films today has any clue how wrong that is. But, as you've pointed out so well, that is just the tip of the iceberg.
It's one thing to suspend disbelief in order to enjoy a movie. It's another thing entirely when the filmmakers ask you to splatter your brains on the sidewalk before going into the theater.