Happy Atheist Forum

Any atheists believe in this?

What are we abstaining from, and why?
I would abstain from eating a sea turtle or a dugong, because they're endangered and defenceless.
Alcohol I could abstain from if weed was legal.
Sex, someone else usually does the abstaining for me.

Within most atheist thought abstinence tends to be based on specific reasons that are justifiable to the person(s) involved and not based on the arbitrary whim of some stone age sheep herder who had no birth control and tended to wax universalistic.

I think it could certainly be justified if people are in their teens (or any other age depending on the issues at hand) but do not feel comfortable being that intimate with someone else when their at that emotionally vulnerable juncture with all the rapid changes in their life. Sometimes however the teens do not know what is best for them so some safe sex education is needed so long as choosing not to have sex is not disparaged. Guys and girls I know who had sex young could not deal with some of the emotional consequences that can arise from it.

Another rare but true abstinence choice that I have seen before is when people swear off sex to build up focus and energy on some art, political or other endeavor but those fasts are term limited and not for the rest of their lives.

If you are a sex addict and cannot discriminate much on partners then abstinence for awhile is good until you gain some control with the proper medical help. Unlike alcohol and other addictions that demand life long abstinence, sex is up there with a basic bodily function much like eating and cannot be denied forever.

Sorry, about hijacking this thread with a joke

QuoteThree couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes, we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of paint on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"We know," said the young man, "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore either."

OK, back to the thread.

I'm a practitioner of abstinence. I have to admit, that my wife and I have sex only once or twice per month. Not because we are not interested in sex or believe in abstinence, but because we live so far apart. We only see each other once per month.  She lives in the USA and I live in Europe. Occasionally, we are just dead-tired from the jet-lag. All we then can think about is sleep instead of sex. Things look better the next day though   .

Any way, I don't think it is a good idea to suppress sexual feelings.

Quote from: "hunterman317"Any atheists believe in this?

Abstinence exists.  What question are you really asking here and are you as you represent yourself to be?

I practiced abstinence until I was an adult.  I chose not to have sex because I had been given detailed, comprehensive, science-based information about sex.  With the possible consequences spelled out, I chose to avoid those consequences completely.

Quote from: "hunterman317"Any atheists believe in this?

I do.

Do I believe in "abstinence"..?

Yeah. Sure. I know the phenomenon exists.

That said, the original post is spam. It is underdefined to such a degree that it is pointless. If you can't be bothered to at least word your question as properly as you know how, don't bother asking it, ok?  

You're not having a good day?

Quote from: "The Magic Pudding"You're not having a good day?

Well, I am at my grumpiest this week... Just haven't found out why yet.  

I'm with Asmodean on this.

Quote from: "McQ"I'm with Asmodean on this.

So am I. I may be grumpy, but just so it is clear, I DO stand by every word I said, even though my statement could have been more politically correctly worded.

Quote from: "Asmodean"So am I. I may be grumpy

I worry when you start acting happy.
The definition of spam seems to be widening, I agree the first post was under defined.
Being politicly correct?  
Are huntermen a vilified minority or something?

Quote from: "The Magic Pudding"

Quote from: "Asmodean"So am I. I may be grumpy

I worry when you start acting happy.
The definition of spam seems to be widening, I agree the first post was under defined.
Being politicly correct?  
Are huntermen a vilified minority or something?

Spam is reasonably defined as is.

A politically correct statement would have said the same without a bite to the words.

I'm 19, and I choose to be abstinent. So thanks for your support.

Quote from: "hunterman317"I'm 19, and I choose to be abstinent. So thanks for your support.

...So you don't consume alcohol, eat certain types of food or have sex..? Why not?  

Quote from: "hunterman317"Any atheists believe in this?

It depends on the atheist.

The only thing all atheists share in common is that they do not believe in a deity.

That's it.

One need not do anything else to be an atheist.

Me, personally, I believe that abstinence is the best way to prevent pregnancies, but it is far too idealistic to forbid sex education and contraception in hopes that people who are ill equipped to have a child will abstain completely.

Quote from: "hunterman317"I'm 19, and I choose to be abstinent. So thanks for your support.

What is your choice based on?  Did you weigh the pros and cons based on the possible repercussions of having sex or are you simply still adhering to a previous belief's residue?  I ask this because my father is an extremely Catholic atheist.  He's like a Catholic who admits he doesn't believe in God but he keeps following the other parts of the religion.

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "hunterman317"I'm 19, and I choose to be abstinent. So thanks for your support.

...So you don't consume alcohol, eat certain types of food or have sex..? Why not?  

I have drunken a few beers, watch porn casually, and eat anything. I'm talking about sexual intercourse, that could result in aids or worse.

Quote from: "hunterman317"I'm 19, and I choose to be abstinent. So thanks for your support.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh_x3F3jxeI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh_x3F3jxeI)

Quote from: "hunterman317"I'm talking about sexual intercourse, that could result in aids or worse.

...So wear a rubber. Don't dip your pen in the company ink. Sex is not that dangerous if you take your precautions.

Intercourse will not, by the way, result in AIDS. The best you can hope for then is catching HIV which in turn could cause AIDS. In any case, if you are careful, the chances of that are near-negligeable and HIV does not equal death sentence in this day and age.

I grew up surrounded by the regular super-Christian male teens, and we'd have our weekly group meetings. The guys would talk about jerking off and how terrible it was, how even having wet dreams was awful, but the one thing that I always secretly thought was that we all weren't abstaining by choice - I mean, hell, if I would have had the option in the eighth grade I would've been on it like white on rice. We were just all too dorky to actually get girlfriends. It's easier to say you're "saving yourself" than to admit you have as much game as a rock. :eek:

Quote from: "Croaker"I mean, hell, if I would have had the option in the eighth grade I would've been on it like white on rice. We were just all too dorky to actually get girlfriends.

<nods in agreement>

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"

Quote from: "Croaker"I mean, hell, if I would have had the option in the eighth grade I would've been on it like white on rice. We were just all too dorky to actually get girlfriends.

<nods in agreement>

*smug to the point of rudeness*

Me, I did for the first time it in the eighth grade  

You're welcome to choose whatever sexual lifestyle you want so long as there's knowing consent.

I can't imagine living a life abstaining from sex, though.

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"

Quote from: "Croaker"I mean, hell, if I would have had the option in the eighth grade I would've been on it like white on rice. We were just all too dorky to actually get girlfriends.

<nods in agreement>

*smug to the point of rudeness*

Me, I did for the first time it in the eighth grade  

I didn't get my first trim until 18.  I thought I was going to die a virgin.

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"I didn't get my first trim until 18.  I thought I was going to die a virgin.

Well, 18 aint so bad. I have a few acquaintances who are approaching 30 and still have not had their rods waxed properly  :P  )

Quote from: "Thumpalumpacus"I didn't get my first trim until 18.  I thought I was going to die a virgin.

Yeah, same here. In hindsight, I wasn't really that bad off - I mean, I've got one friend (like Asmodean) who, at 29, still is a big ol' V. At least, he says he isn't, but...

A question for everyone - if you provide rather thorough sex education, are you 'enabling' the kids? I mean, are they more likely to go out and have sex, armed with their knowledge of what to do? And if, given that kids have a tendency to forget the key points of sex ed (i.e. withdrawal can still get you pregnant, etc.) could this be problematic?

I don't have any facts or figures to support one view or another, just a question.

I think for my boys I'm just going to tell them that as soon as they get a job and are okay with working their asses off to support any form of an unplanned pregnancy, they can boink whoever the hell they want - considering that's what happened to me  

Another thing - I wonder if the term 'abstinence' has gained a bit of a bad rap. For Christians it's the way to go, since they say you are 'saving yourself' for marriage, or whatever. This can, however, provide side benefits in lack of teen pregnancies and (usually) no transmission of STD's. Having to wait a couple years may seem like an eternity to teens (hell, it did for me) but waiting until you're at least financially stable (as opposed to the 'until marriage' business) could be a good idea for most people... right?

Quote from: "Croaker"A question for everyone - if you provide rather thorough sex education, are you 'enabling' the kids? I mean, are they more likely to go out and have sex, armed with their knowledge of what to do?

No, inevitably they'll figure out "what to do" regardless. What they need to know is what precautions are necessary and how they work.

Quote from: "Croaker"This can, however, provide side benefits in lack of teen pregnancies and (usually) no transmission of STD's.

If you're actually abstinent.  Teaching it doesn't seem to result in teens actually being abstinent.

There's good indication that there is a strong inverse correlation between sex ed and teen pregnancy, at least here in America.

Quote from: "Croaker"I think for my boys I'm just going to tell them that as soon as they get a job and are okay with working their asses off to support any form of an unplanned pregnancy, they can boink whoever the hell they want - considering that's what happened to me  :hmm:  No un-planned pregnancies, but rubber use is highly adviseable still, because of bugs and germs and viruses and all ye regular sexually transmitted nastiness,

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Croaker"I think for my boys I'm just going to tell them that as soon as they get a job and are okay with working their asses off to support any form of an unplanned pregnancy, they can boink whoever the hell they want - considering that's what happened to me  :hmm:  No un-planned pregnancies, but rubber use is highly adviseable still, because of bugs and germs and viruses and all ye regular sexually transmitted nastiness,

Ever the cheerful one, you are.

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Croaker"I think for my boys I'm just going to tell them that as soon as they get a job and are okay with working their asses off to support any form of an unplanned pregnancy, they can boink whoever the hell they want - considering that's what happened to me  :hmm:  No un-planned pregnancies, but rubber use is highly adviseable still, because of bugs and germs and viruses and all ye regular sexually transmitted nastiness,

Oh yeah, I totally agree with that - I'll definitely be advocating their usage of protection, regardless of their sexual orientation. In the end, I have no desire to exert final control over their lives - but I'm hoping that maybe they can understand that keeping it in their pants until they at least get a job (and preferably until financially stable) might be a good idea. If they can't wait, then make sure their girl is on the pill or something. I'd much rather be the parent who says "Hey, I know you're probably nailing someone, so let me give you some cash to keep yourself protected" rather than the parent who goes "DON"T HAVE SEX!!11one!1"

Quote from: "Croaker""Hey, I know you're probably nailing someone, so let me give you some cash to keep yourself protected" rather than the parent who goes "DON"T HAVE SEX!!11one!1"

I think that is a good way of doing it.

Openness. That won't hurt much either. And you will not get openness with your kids if all you do is dictate... At least not with teenagers. Based on personal experience, I can say that for me, at least, the one person close to me who tried to reason with me was, in the long run, far more influential than the two who tried to push me in whatever direction they wanted.

Quote from: "Asmodean"

Quote from: "Croaker""Hey, I know you're probably nailing someone, so let me give you some cash to keep yourself protected" rather than the parent who goes "DON"T HAVE SEX!!11one!1"

I think that is a good way of doing it.

Openness. That won't hurt much either. And you will not get openness with your kids if all you do is dictate... At least not with teenagers. Based on personal experience, I can say that for me, at least, the one person close to me who tried to reason with me was, in the long run, far more influential than the two who tried to push me in whatever direction they wanted.

I've always thought that the best teachers are those that explain the why of something. Rather than teach endless examples and strict rules (which there are some specific places for, I imagine), the ones who make you understand the why always, IMHO, seemed better.

Which is one of the problems I have with religious dictates - they're too caught up in the "Don't do XYZ" rather than the explanation of why you might not want to do X, why Y is actually harmful for your health and how your wife will be happier with you if you don't do Z.

Abstinence embodies this problem - rather than explain how one could have safe sex and why someone could benefit in ways from waiting until older (which I believe exist to some degree), the rule is just "Don't do it!"

Quote from: "hunterman317"Any atheists believe in this?

Personally I feel that abstinence is an unrealitistic option for most people and that contraception is a far more reliable method to prevent unwanted pregnancy, assuming that is what this vague thread it about.

Quote from: "elliebean"

Quote from: "Croaker"A question for everyone - if you provide rather thorough sex education, are you 'enabling' the kids? I mean, are they more likely to go out and have sex, armed with their knowledge of what to do?

No, inevitably they'll figure out "what to do" regardless. What they need to know is what precautions are necessary and how they work.

Can I get an "Amen!" for Elliebean?  Humans instinctively know how to copulate, it's birth control and safety precautions that need to be taught..

Quote from: "Kylyssa"

Quote from: "elliebean"

Quote from: "Croaker"A question for everyone - if you provide rather thorough sex education, are you 'enabling' the kids? I mean, are they more likely to go out and have sex, armed with their knowledge of what to do?

No, inevitably they'll figure out "what to do" regardless. What they need to know is what precautions are necessary and how they work.

Can I get an "Amen!" for Elliebean?  Humans instinctively know how to copulate, it's birth control and safety precautions that need to be taught..

I would agree with this, especially when many parents don't bother explaining anything to their kids.

It's a personal choice, hopefully an informed and considered one.

It's a funny topic though, don't you think?
Some of the rules and statements coming out of religious organisations do seem to be quite odd.
I find it especially intriguing that people that have supposedly never had sex have such strong opinions about it and make up the rules for those who are having or will be having sex.