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Getting To Know You => Laid Back Lounge => Topic started by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 06, 2023, 08:53:37 PM

Title: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 06, 2023, 08:53:37 PM
On the TNP thread, I asked if TNP had a mental list of things he/she would change in his/her life if he/she could go back. I, for one, do. There are some evil deeds, stupid mistakes, humiliations, slights, insensitivities that I would like to blot out. Of course, as Asmo said, that would change the trajectory of my life, even if ever so slightly. But I think it be for the better. I have sort of a hierarchy of "I wish I had" and "I wish I hadn't" things. Maybe 20-25 or so.

I have noticed that I simply cannot forget these things. I have forgiven myself for them, but I cannot forget them. I don't think I am supposed to. They remind me to never do them again, or to avoid certain situations, or to be more wise in my decisions. So, Asmo has a point, even the ugly things can be positive. But a few of them torment me, and I would rather consign them to the bottom of the sea.

What is your experience along these lines?
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 06, 2023, 09:35:23 PM
Continuing, there is one series of events in particular that happened probably 45 years ago that I regret to the core of my being. There is no practical opportunity to atone for it, and it comes up in my mind for review on a regular basis. I can't even understand how I did this thing. It is as though my brain had not developed/evolved enough at that point, or there was some defect that has since been corrected by the growth of neurons. I would never do this thing today. I don't think I am the same person now that I was then, in large part because of this event. So in that respect, it was good for my development, but it caused so much pain to another. I was cruel, perhaps psychopathic, at the time.

I have noticed in my life some tendencies toward psychopathy that, fortunately, did not develop. I have empathy and compassion now, but in those situations I did not. Like a particular Woody Allen movie I saw, maybe it was just which side of the fence the coin fell on that made the difference. It scares me to think of what I could have become.

Anyway, the statute of limitations has run on it, so I'm in the clear. Heh. But the ghost still haunts me.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Icarus on January 07, 2023, 12:37:46 AM
Ecurb I would truly like to meet at some quiet place....maybe with a few beers.... so to exchange recollections, and perhaps shame, for some of the dumb shit that I did in my youth. Some of it was dangerous and all of it stupid.

Sometimes I lie awake at night to recall some of the foolish decisions that I have made in the past. Some of those recollection could be shared. Others, best not. No I never did anything criminal. Morality breeches: big time on some occasions.

I try not to beat myself up for having committed transgressions in my youth but they are still there in my memory. I was simply not very well versed in the social graces and also I was a dumb kid. 



 
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Dark Lightning on January 07, 2023, 02:02:44 AM
Eh, we all did stupid things when young. One of mine was driving across the Nevada desert at 140+ MPH, when the national speed limit was 55. I blew that car's engine up, fortunately. It had retread tires on the rear that had tubes in them, if you can believe that. If one of those had blown out, I'd've been smeared across the landscape. Spun four rod bearings due to over-revving it. I was passing cars like a big dog, and I'm sure someone used their CB to alert the Nevada HP, because they rolled up on me with a lot less cars having passed me, than I passed. The thing was heaving steam by then, and nobody would pick us up, after I had passed them all. :ROFL: Finally a guy in a truck stopped and gave us a ride into the next burg, which I think was Goldfield, Nevada.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Anne D. on January 07, 2023, 04:31:08 AM
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on January 06, 2023, 08:53:37 PMOn the TNP thread, I asked if TNP had a mental list of things he/she would change in his/her life if he/she could go back. I, for one, do. There are some evil deeds, stupid mistakes, humiliations, slights, insensitivities that I would like to blot out. Of course, as Asmo said, that would change the trajectory of my life, even if ever so slightly. But I think it be for the better. I have sort of a hierarchy of "I wish I had" and "I wish I hadn't" things. Maybe 20-25 or so.

I have noticed that I simply cannot forget these things. I have forgiven myself for them, but I cannot forget them. I don't think I am supposed to. They remind me to never do them again, or to avoid certain situations, or to be more wise in my decisions. So, Asmo has a point, even the ugly things can be positive. But a few of them torment me, and I would rather consign them to the bottom of the sea.

What is your experience along these lines?

You have my sympathy. I have almost the exact same feelings. Except everything is of the "wish I hadn't" variety. I wish I hadn't said or done that stupid, insensitive thing, or in a few cases, that cruel thing. My past fuckups play like movies in my head pretty much on the regular. But the piece of advice that's helped me the most with that, which came, separately, from a quirky advice columnist and a younger co-worker was, basically, "Get over yourself and move on--your shame spiral helps no one. Be a better person going forward." When my movie starts up, which usually happens in the shower for some reason, I try to nip it in the bud by re-focusing on that advice.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: billy rubin on January 07, 2023, 08:28:53 AM
the only things i regret were when i hurt people
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 08, 2023, 11:16:18 AM
Anne, that's good advice, and I generally try to follow it. But sometimes I try to analyze why I did something, so I go deep in the cave and see what I can find, in hopes that I won't make the same mistake again. Sometimes I conclude that I simply had not evolved or developed enough at the time, whether morally, mentally, socially or whatever. What it tells me is that we can become different people over time. Wiser, I suppose.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 09, 2023, 07:22:11 AM
I have this ability to... How shall I best explain it..? I analyse situations and categorise them into can-fix and can't-fix, and that which I can't fix, I find difficult to dwell on.

Thus, if I do something regrettable, I don't find myself wishing I could take it back or turn back time and make some changes to how the events unfolded - I either attempt to fix the arising problems, or I do not. What else is there?

I do possess a mental time machine, but mostly for idle day dreams and thought experiments. It usually only ever travels forward, but sometimes it can be fun to explore the many variables, the resolution of which has led from before to now. What could be the outcome today if I did not let that one relationship melt away? Where would I be if I realised that there opportunity twenty years ago? Such like. I don't wish for those things, but am at times capable of contemplating them.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 09, 2023, 08:53:43 AM
Birth. Life sucks, and is not worth the effort!
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tank on January 09, 2023, 08:57:14 AM
Quote from: No one on January 09, 2023, 08:53:43 AMBirth. Life sucks, and is not worth the effort!

I do love your upbeat take on life :)
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 09, 2023, 10:10:24 AM
I understand not wanting to be alive at a given moment, but how does one conceptualise never having been born?
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 09, 2023, 11:31:57 AM
Spend 0.03 seconds as me, and you will undoubtedly understand.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 09, 2023, 11:53:27 AM
And yet, I highly doubt it. :D

Now that I have doubted the undoubtable, allow me a short trip beyond trying to conceptualise never having existed without any useful parameters to lean on;

Your birth is not something you can remedy. However, your continued existence is. If your continued existence pleases you more than the fact of your birth displeases you, it being a necessary step to getting where you are now, there is no problem. If it does not, then I contend that it is the continuation of your existence which is the problem you are looking to remedy - not the start of it.

It may be rather on the moot side, though I do think that having one's suicidal ducks in a proper row is a gain.

Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 09, 2023, 12:29:49 PM
It's not about conceptualizing anything. It's about not wanting to be born in the first place. Something i wish never happened.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 09, 2023, 01:14:24 PM
Do you mean that you get no enjoyment out of life? There is no conceivable condition that you could obtain in this life that would bring enough joy to make life's struggles worthwhile?
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 09, 2023, 01:20:18 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on January 09, 2023, 07:22:11 AMThus, if I do something regrettable, I don't find myself wishing I could take it back or turn back time and make some changes to how the events unfolded - I either attempt to fix the arising problems, or I do not. What else is there?


Assume there is something that you cannot fix. Are the following possible "what else's" on the table?

1. Use the experience as a teacher to never do that thing again;
2. Use the regret as a motivation for being a better person in general; or
3. Use the pain, sorrow, etc. as a warning sign for others not to follow the same path. See it as an increase in the general wisdom of life that you can impart to others.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 09, 2023, 01:46:26 PM
Nope!

It would be better for everyone if i never existed!
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: billy rubin on January 09, 2023, 02:19:21 PM
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 09, 2023, 02:28:03 PM
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on January 09, 2023, 01:20:18 PMAssume there is something that you cannot fix. Are the following possible "what else's" on the table?
It's difficult to answer without an example of a situation, and it's difficult to find one without jumping to extreme hypotheticals, but I shall try.

Quote1. Use the experience as a teacher to never do that thing again;
No. I'd use that experience to hopefully do the thing better the next time I find myself with the need to. Put hand on stove? Painful blisters? No regrets - just a oven mitt next time. That's... Pretty much how I tick.

Quote2. Use the regret as a motivation for being a better person in general; or
Use the experience towards that end - yes, probably. Use the regret? I... Fail to compute.

I mean, if a mistake was made, you can quantify it and take certain actions to imporve future outcomes. You'd be using the parameters of said mistake though, not... Whether or not you felt bad about it..?

I suppose you could say that is using regret for self-improvement, but... I'd just call it looking forward.

Now, if it was not a mistake... In my personal opinion, regrets in such instances stem from poor planning. Oh, there are still valuable lessons to learn, I just don't see how you would learn them by... What? Wishing to turn back time?

Quote3. Use the pain, sorrow, etc. as a warning sign for others not to follow the same path. See it as an increase in the general wisdom of life that you can impart to others.
It's situational. I would use the experience, sure. I think that's the most interesting thing here. As in, imagine that you caused the thing, using your feelings and emotional fabric, rather than how I do or might have felt about the whole situation.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 09, 2023, 02:55:42 PM
Quote from: No one on January 09, 2023, 01:46:26 PMNope!

It would be better for everyone if i never existed!

Ah, come on, man! We enjoy your humor. And, your general pessimism is a counterweight to irrational exuberance (to borrow from Alan Greenspan). If you never existed we would be deprived of that. I don't think you really believe what you said.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 09, 2023, 06:03:18 PM
More than i have ever felt anything!


There is absolutely nothing i hate more than the disgusting waste of flesh that i am!
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 09, 2023, 08:11:25 PM
Quote from: No one on January 09, 2023, 06:03:18 PMMore than i have ever felt anything!


There is absolutely nothing i hate more than the disgusting waste of flesh that i am!

Sorry you feel that way. That is not how we see you.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tank on January 09, 2023, 09:04:33 PM
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on January 09, 2023, 08:11:25 PM
Quote from: No one on January 09, 2023, 06:03:18 PMMore than i have ever felt anything!


There is absolutely nothing i hate more than the disgusting waste of flesh that i am!

Sorry you feel that way. That is not how we see you.

Me neither.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Anne D. on January 14, 2023, 03:34:54 AM
Agreed. Whether you want it or not, I'm sending you a virtual hug, No one.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tank on January 14, 2023, 07:53:28 AM
No one needs a hug :)
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 14, 2023, 04:13:05 PM
While your words of gracious understanding are certainly valued, you have obviously mistaken this vile sack of shit for something worthy of compassion. i can assure you, i am not.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: The Magic Pudding. on January 15, 2023, 07:33:42 AM
Quote from: No one on January 14, 2023, 04:13:05 PMWhile your words of gracious understanding are certainly valued, you have obviously mistaken this vile sack of shit for something worthy of compassion. i can assure you, i am not.

Why do you rate yourself a vile sack of shit?
Did you get road raged and squash a bunch of five year olds?
Something worse?
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 15, 2023, 09:38:18 AM
I was being kind. Spend 0.05 seconds with me, and all will be confirmed. There is nothing in existence as vile or worthless as this disgusting, repulsive, waste ofspace.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: The Magic Pudding. on January 15, 2023, 10:21:59 AM
Quote from: No one on January 15, 2023, 09:38:18 AMI was being kind. Spend 0.05 seconds with me, and all will be confirmed. There is nothing in existence as vile or worthless as this disgusting, repulsive, waste ofspace.

Maybe :en route:
You've publicly expressed desire for anal sex with some female celebrity who doesn't know you and may not like anal anyway. I  consider that uncouth, I give you points for vile, disgusting and repulsive there.
Yet you dislike rap, which dislike is laudable.

What if there is a someone who shares  your first loathsome trait but not your second somewhat redeeming quality?  They could be conceivably worse than you.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: billy rubin on January 15, 2023, 11:06:06 AM
bobby mcferron did rap in the old days

that was okay. before it got mean

i dont like the gangsta stuff
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 15, 2023, 11:22:54 AM
Conceivably, i imagine, anything could be possible. Reality, on the other hand, is something quite different. Hatred, is the only emotion that i am worthy of.

There are less than zero redeeming qualities possessed by this repulsive, revolting, sickening sack of complete shit.

Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: The Magic Pudding. on January 15, 2023, 11:48:10 AM
Quote from: No one on January 15, 2023, 11:22:54 AMThere are less than zero redeeming qualities possessed by this repulsive, revolting, sickening sack of complete shit.


So you're a pedo then?
One that's acted on the urge, making yourself unworthy of compassion?
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 15, 2023, 12:22:27 PM
i am beneath pedophiles.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, i rate higher than.

The most worthless thing to ever exist.

Nothing will ever change that.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: The Magic Pudding. on January 15, 2023, 12:39:18 PM
Quote from: No one on January 15, 2023, 12:22:27 PMi am beneath pedophiles.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, i rate higher than.

The most worthless thing to ever exist.

Nothing will ever change that.

Fk, you must be some kinda super detestable, Pedo HitlerPutinTrump, or someth'n. 
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 16, 2023, 11:17:02 AM
...And even they tend not to think of themselves as particularly detestable, I imagine.

To put it this way, I'm pretty sure that even a well-adjusted devil has some PR disaster to blame.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 16, 2023, 01:15:43 PM
No One, is there some person anywhere that you hold in high esteem, or does your attitude about yourself reflect your view of the totality of humanity?
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: No one on January 16, 2023, 02:00:03 PM
Are there any decent hoomans? Sure.

Am i one of them? Absolutely not!

As much as i despise the upright apes, it pales in comparison to the seething hatred for whatever it is that i am.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 16, 2023, 02:08:04 PM
Hmm... There is a compass to be had here. One axis being I suck -> I am great and the other being People suck -> People are great.

The Asmo. He is pretty great. People, however... Yeah, some are OK, but generally, they kinda' suck. So... It's due North for The Asmo.

...What would that even correspond to on such a compass? Just-shy of classical narcissist, I suppose.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 16, 2023, 04:21:36 PM
I think I would be in the middle. I think I have some good and some bad qualities. Objectively speaking, that is. My suspicion is that I would not judge No One as harshly as he judges himself with respect to standards of human worth. 
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: billy rubin on January 21, 2023, 10:21:06 PM
noone is okay.

listen up, dude: the world is full of people who do not recognize their failings, and inflict themselves on others.

you do not do that, which is much to your credit.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 26, 2023, 09:26:07 AM
Let us not forget those who inflict themselves on others having recognised their own failings and deemed them someone else's fault and/or problem, if not worse - virtues.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 26, 2023, 09:48:36 PM
It is not always easy to face up to your shortcomings without blaming others. Some people are truly invested in believing their own lies about their own character. Imagine how difficult it would be for Congressman George Santos to come clean about himself. (For those who do not know him since you are not in the USA, he completely fabricated his personal and family history to get elected).
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Anne D. on January 27, 2023, 04:04:56 AM
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on January 26, 2023, 09:48:36 PM(For those who do not know him since you are not in the USA, he completely fabricated his personal and family history to get elected).

I don't know how helpful this clarification is given the track record of U.S. politicians, particularly Repubs. See, e.g., Trump and his purported business successes.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 27, 2023, 10:45:12 AM
Lies are a useful tool for politicians, cheating spouses and children who want to avoid a yelling alike.

I would not automatically call mere deception a character flaw - in some cases, being good or at the very least successful at it can be a strength. Not for the betterment of mankind, perhaps (although, great actors do exist and I'd argue that they do a bit of that), but there are less-lofty ambitions which can be equally valid for that.

To exemplify, I wouldn't give Elon Musk my money for a number of good and valid reasons - but I would probably vote for him for broadly the very same reasons.

This is my round-about way of saying that I think there are far better examples of the point you are trying to demonstrate.

How about stuff like <insert thing> positivity movements? Self-improvement is no longer working out until you can lift that dumbbell and run a mile - it's merely convincing yourself that your mostly-unemployed, grossly overweighed ass is just as healthy and beautiful and deserving of something from the rest of us as someone who is healthy, hot and maybe has something to actually show for their life.

There are certainly still people who are good, will get good or will "die trying," but I was not being hyperbolic by much, I think.

Maybe politicians and the like "led the way" and so are "to blame" for its emergence, but... Personally, I think that grown-ass people have some responsibility in "blindly" following their role models. Like... I used to look up to the late great Christopher Hitchens, and still somehow I don't need a bottle of whiskey everywhere I go. I can and do do without one at all, in fact. It [EDIT: Looking up to someone without trying to become them] can be done, apparently.

What was I on about..? Ah, yes! Rambling about the decrepit state of humanity. Actually, I think I rest my case right here. :smilenod:
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on January 27, 2023, 09:23:24 PM
Quote from: Anne D. on January 27, 2023, 04:04:56 AM
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on January 26, 2023, 09:48:36 PM(For those who do not know him since you are not in the USA, he completely fabricated his personal and family history to get elected).

I don't know how helpful this clarification is given the track record of U.S. politicians, particularly Repubs. See, e.g., Trump and his purported business successes.

Yes, they all lie to some degree. It just seems that Santos forged new ground. But, I suppose everyone lies about themselves to some degree.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Icarus on January 28, 2023, 04:52:30 AM
Lies about the size of the fish I caught and the claims that Bruno made about his phallus are innocuous.  The lies that the Santos dude told are egregious in that he betrayed his constituents into voting for a psychopathic con man.

Alas the speaker of the house (himself of questionable competence and honesty) is in the process of appointing the Santos scum bag to a place on a meaningful committee.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tom62 on January 28, 2023, 06:39:05 AM
I haven't got a high opinion of politicians at all. On both sides of the political isle there are cheaters, con men, corrupted, lying, hypocritical and incompetent bastards.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on January 28, 2023, 04:57:28 PM
Yep. That's partly why I think that one needs to be good at deception to be an effective politician - you'll have to deal with people who mostly are on a daily basis - and by "deal," I don't mean just be in the proximity of. Deal deal.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on February 03, 2023, 03:42:36 PM
One of the flaws of democracy is that it will always tend to place more and more corrupt people into office. They want power, and will promise anything to get your votes, even though they know they cannot deliver. It would be nice to have some sort of non-partisan committee who screened for these sorts of frauds, but that would also probably become corrupt. So, freedom and democracy carry the seeds of their own destruction. Bottom line is that the people are flawed, so their leaders will also be flawed, yet with power. And that power will corrupt them even more. Sad state of affairs. We have met the enemy, and the enemy is us.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Icarus on February 04, 2023, 02:06:29 AM
   ^  :postoday:
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Dark Lightning on February 04, 2023, 03:04:13 AM
*cough*enlightened oligarchy*cough*

Too bad such doesn't, and likely never will, exist.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tank on February 04, 2023, 10:50:19 AM
I agree that any system that awards personal wealth and/or power will probably suffer from corruption. We are seeing this in the UK with the awarding of Covid contracts to government cronies among other things.

Personally I go with the old adage that the person who wants power is the last person you should give it to. Police officers being a prime example.

I would like to see a professional civil service selected by lottery. This would be properly democratic in that it would be government of the people by the people. Voting is in my opinion not democracy but a flawed method of achieving democracy and that's why democracy is itself ultimately flawed. But people in power don't like to give it away so I don't think my idea will ever come to fruition.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Harmonie on March 11, 2023, 03:47:00 AM
Plenty of mistakes in my life...

Not taking care of myself and going into denial about health issues I was experiencing at age 18. Would completely alter the course of my life.

I would, unfortunately, also have to alter my career path to something different. The way my life has gone with health issues and the way the world/country has gone has put me in quite a pickle the way things are. To have a career that would land me a good, stable job in a blue state is of utmost importance.

My ex. No matter what, I can think of some mistakes I made roughly a decade ago and now she's long gone. Things probably would have ended the way they did either way, but still I was an idiot and I should have never made those mistakes. I loved her so much. That, too, was a mistake I should have never made, but it's not one I chose so I can't just say I would change that because it was never an option of mine.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: The Magic Pudding. on March 11, 2023, 07:04:20 AM
This sounds sad Harmonie, so I'm going to give you a soft toy wombat.  Soft toy wombats are better than people partners, more loyal, more huggable, really I don't know why anyone bothers with air breathing objects of affection.

(https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1335/6483/products/15211030WWFwombat_1200x.jpg?v=1612204715)

Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Icarus on March 11, 2023, 11:33:42 PM
Harmonie, it may not be of much comfort to know that all of us have made some unfortunate choices.  Seemed like a good plan at the time and went to hell later is a familiar refrain. Yes I know that those realities do not much ease the pain.

Please hang in there. Please try not to lose a lot of sleep while damning yourself for failing to to make perfect decisions that affect the long term condition.





   

 
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on March 13, 2023, 07:34:57 AM
Quote from: Icarus on March 11, 2023, 11:33:42 PMPlease hang in there. Please try not to lose a lot of sleep while damning yourself for failing to to make perfect decisions that affect the long term condition.
Indeed. If I was in the advice-giving business, I'd say "don't live in the past." It gets harder to do as one gets longer in the proverbial tooth, as the past makes an ever-greater portion of one's life, but there is always tomorrow... Until there isn't, by which point it does not matter.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on March 14, 2023, 10:20:56 AM
You can observe the past objectively, although it is painful. You have to admit that you have some defects, some aspects of your inner self that are ugly and undesirable. Then it becomes sort of a reality check about life in general. There are somethings that are just a matter of what hand of cards you were dealt. Life the silver ball, you were shot out of the slot, and you ran into some bumpers and got flipped by some flippers, and one day you will drop into the hole. It's a brutal assessment, but I have come to think that the vast majority of life is something that we have absolutely no control over. We are spectators and can observe, but so much of it is predetermined. You didn't chose your sex, your race, your DNA, your parents, the time/place/circumstances of your birth, and on and on. The big things were chosen for you, or just happened. Enjoy watching the movie, and grab some popcorn.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on March 29, 2023, 07:42:02 PM
Does anyone besides me think that life can be an absolutely humiliating experience? Not all the time, of course, but enough to make you dread being in humiliating circumstances again? I would change all my humiliating experiences, if I could, to at least neutral. But man, some of them were rough. Never again.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tank on March 30, 2023, 08:38:35 PM
That's an interesting thought, not one I have ever considered. I can't remember an occasion where I have ever been traumatically humiliated.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Icarus on March 30, 2023, 11:09:49 PM
I was thinking of one of those occasions earlier today. It was about one of my race motorcycles a long time ago...like 60 years ago.  That bike was spectacular and it won every race that it entered. I decided to give it a little extra maintenance.  I will give it a new piston and attend to the valves or any other part as needed.

I sent the cylinder out to a machine shop to have it bored for the new oversize piston. It was a German bike and I had the service manual and also some direct advice from the factory. The proper piston clearance was 0.10 mm. I told the machine shop to bore to fit that spec.  They told me that they figured that was too much clearance. I said "no use that dimension". They bored it 0.010 inches for the piston clearance. The engine was a poor performer immediately after that, until I discovered, to my extreme humiliation, that the damned piston was flopping around in the cylinder. Ten thousandths is two and a half times one tenth millimeter.

Why I was thinking about that this morning I cannot know.  Actually this small episode was  a result of my own stupidity which caused me much humiliation. I knew the difference between metric and Imperial measure but failed to make the important distinction to the machine shop. That was 60+ years ago and metrics were not a common unit of measure in the US, at the time.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on March 31, 2023, 11:56:52 AM
Quote from: Tank on March 30, 2023, 08:38:35 PMThat's an interesting thought, not one I have ever considered. I can't remember an occasion where I have ever been traumatically humiliated.
Pretty much this.

I think for me, to even be able to take a slug to my otherwise quite sizable ego, it has to be on the line somehow. For me personally, it is only so in areas, in which my image to an uninvolved third party actually matters to me, and those are... Not many.

For instance, I could perfectly well go in front of a hundred thousand people and make an ass of myself with my singing - and I would not be humiliated in the slightest by fermenting produce thrown my way, because... I had it to do, and so I did, with not a care in the world for how it went or was perceived. In that case, the only person whose opinion mattered (the proverbial number one) had none. Now, if I did a poor job on something that had my professional reputation attached... Yeah, no, bad example. I'd just re-do it if I could - live and learn, if not.

That's not to say that there were no "oh, for fuck's sake" moments in my life - there were plenty - it's just that I don't find "living things down" particularly difficult.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tank on March 31, 2023, 12:41:35 PM
Quote from: Icarus on March 30, 2023, 11:09:49 PMI was thinking of one of those occasions earlier today. It was about one of my race motorcycles a long time ago...like 60 years ago.  That bike was spectacular and it won every race that it entered. I decided to give it a little extra maintenance.  I will give it a new piston and attend to the valves or any other part as needed.

I sent the cylinder out to a machine shop to have it bored for the new oversize piston. It was a German bike and I had the service manual and also some direct advice from the factory. The proper piston clearance was 0.10 mm. I told the machine shop to bore to fit that spec.  They told me that they figured that was too much clearance. I said "no use that dimension". They bored it 0.010 inches for the piston clearance. The engine was a poor performer immediately after that, until I discovered, to my extreme humiliation, that the damned piston was flopping around in the cylinder. Ten thousandths is two and a half times one tenth millimeter.

Why I was thinking about that this morning I cannot know.  Actually this small episode was  a result of my own stupidity which caused me much humiliation. I knew the difference between metric and Imperial measure but failed to make the important distinction to the machine shop. That was 60+ years ago and metrics were not a common unit of measure in the US, at the time.

America, inching it's way to metrication!
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on April 02, 2023, 01:00:06 PM
Quote from: Tank on March 31, 2023, 12:41:35 PMAmerica, inching it's way to metrication!

We will go metric the same day you start driving on the correct side of the road. ;D
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tank on April 02, 2023, 01:58:20 PM
:rofl:
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: billy rubin on April 02, 2023, 05:07:34 PM
the metric business has always puzzled me. it is so much easier to cut a board in half that is 242.8 cm long than to try to find the middle of something  with a l length of seven feet 11 and 37/64s inches.

but i still think in shillings and pence, so go figure.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Icarus on April 02, 2023, 11:40:14 PM
Base ten is a whole lot more sensible than base 12,36, 43,560 square feet per acre, 5280 feet in a mile, 1728 cubic inches in a cubic foot, etc.

In the kitchen we use teaspoons, tablespoons, cups.and occasionally ounces for measure.  Damn site easier to use grams, liters. More exact also.

We colonists are slowly, too slowly, converting to the metric system.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: billy rubin on April 03, 2023, 12:11:22 AM
in printing i always used picas, points, and ciceros to mrasure layouts
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Dark Lightning on April 03, 2023, 12:44:17 AM
Much of my engineering "career" I used SI. The last 14 years, I did a mechanical job, one task of which was to spin balance a spacecraft. I about fell out of my chair when I saw they were using EEU- the moment of inertia was in "Slug-Feet^2" rather than kg-M^2. Of course, working with antennas before that, I had to be facile with both systems, since we made test fixtures and so forth on machines using EEU.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: billy rubin on April 03, 2023, 01:11:33 AM
jeez

i dimly remember slugs

what crap
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Icarus on April 04, 2023, 12:35:12 AM
If I remember rightly,  :unsure: a slug is equivalent to 32 pounds.  In the old days the factor g (gravity) was expressed in slugs. We used slug feet per second for dynamic calculations.  DL can fill me in if I have been confused...which is easy for me.

   
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Tank on April 04, 2023, 09:49:22 AM
:rofl:
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on April 07, 2023, 07:42:44 PM
We don't even have 32 pound slugs in Texas ( :) . I just bought an armadillo trap, because he is digging up my flowerbed at night looking for grub worms. I'll see if it works. This is apropos to nothing, but it's my thread.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: billy rubin on April 07, 2023, 09:50:36 PM
put out a worm feeder to distract him
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on April 11, 2023, 09:24:20 AM
Quote from: Icarus on April 04, 2023, 12:35:12 AMIf I remember rightly,  :unsure: a slug is equivalent to 32 pounds.  In the old days the factor g (gravity) was expressed in slugs. We used slug feet per second for dynamic calculations.  DL can fill me in if I have been confused...which is easy for me.

   
:headscratch: The Asmo is pretty sure that the proper thing to measure in slugs per second can either be a) French cuisine, or b) the output of a fully-automatic shotgun.

Being a God, The Asmo hereby proclaims that it is so. :smilenod:
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: MarcusA on April 24, 2023, 09:39:36 AM
You can't change the past. You can just change your mind.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: Asmodean on April 24, 2023, 02:04:36 PM
Heh. This is the sort of sentiment I instinctively want to agree with, but. (You saw the but coming, yes? I like my shit overly-detailed.)

You can't change the past, but you most certainly can write history the way it suits you. At least, you can try to. Chances are, your attempts will be forgotten even before you yourself are dust of the past, but then... Maybe not.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: MarcusA on April 24, 2023, 08:12:40 PM
We may rewrite history but it has a way of catching up with us .
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: MarcusA on April 24, 2023, 08:25:52 PM
Bad Karma is a cosmic juju. haha

Don't ask me what it means, I just said it for fun.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: MarcusA on April 25, 2023, 05:33:05 AM
In democracy, small changes build to a greater whole. The same goes for the individual citizen.
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: MarcusA on April 25, 2023, 11:39:53 AM
The one charm of the past is that it is the past. - Oscar Wilde
Title: Re: Things You Would Change in Your Past
Post by: MarcusA on August 07, 2023, 04:26:30 AM
The future is not ours to see, and the present is hardly here at all.