Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread

[Tank]

^^^ Oh dear!!!

[Recusant]

Is there a good reason why your mother doesn't want you to respond to your other relatives, other than avoiding a scene? Perhaps she doesn't trust them to handle it like the mature adults that they are. If that's the case, she does know them well, and she's probably right.

Do you think you would get any satisfaction from engaging with their beliefs? If so, would that be worth the possible response of unreasoning ire? Is there a chance that a permanent rift might be created if you discussed these topics with them?

I don't doubt that these are fine folks, and in the case of relatives, often the best course is to smile and shake your head, rather than stir them up. If they question you, no reason to lie, but maybe a diplomatic response like "I don't really feel like getting into it" is best, followed by a change of subject.

ETA: To be clear, the questions above aren't meant to be answered here, unless you want to. They're merely thoughts that crossed my mind when thinking about your post, xSilverPhinx.   

[Ecurb Noselrub]

Just grin and bear it.  From the sound of it, contesting them will only lead to friction, conflict and regret.

[Tank]

Just grin and bear it.  From the sound of it, contesting them will only lead to friction, conflict and regret.

Imagine what would have happened if the early Christians had taken that attitude 

[Icarus]

Recusant gives good advice xSP.   It is not easy to endure absurdity but we'll just have to do it to preserve the family peace. I/we feel for you. If it is any comfort ( probably not), quite a few of us have family members who are annoyingly religious.

I join you in angst, I have to endure some of that too.  My daughter is a very intelligent and accomplished woman. In spite of her university education, and early exposure to my scientific tendencies and dedication to logic, she is an active Southern Baptist.  I will have to excuse her because she lives in a small southern town that has a church on every street corner. That kind of environment contaminates ones brain. I try not to think about that unfortunate state of affairs. Sometimes I think that I have not been a sufficiently responsible parent. 

[Magdalena]

xSilverPhinx, I admire your patience.
You probably feel like this inside:

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

[Buddy]

I would glance every so often to my mother who was sitting opposite of me but she would give me a "don't you dare" look. She's the only one who knows I'm a godless heathen.

Very familiar with this look.

[Guardian85]

I would glance every so often to my mother who was sitting opposite of me but she would give me a "don't you dare" look. She's the only one who knows I'm a godless heathen.

Very familiar with this look.

Cannot claim similar circumstances, but you have my sympathies.

[xSilverPhinx]

We have to pick our battles. I think there would be no point engaging with their beliefs, it won't change their mind and might cause a permanent rift, especially with my grandfather, who is the type who preaches that "fire and brimstone" is the fate that awaits those who do not believe in his particular brand of religion. My grandother and uncle are more easy-going. I just don't feel like testing those waters and having people look at me like I need to undergo exorcism or something, so I just sat there quietly and tried not to give too much away nonverbally. 



Yesterday we talked about politics, which was...interesting. 

What will it be today, I wonder? 

[Crow]

Sounds like fun to me. All you need is one word and everything will go crazy. You don't even need to be explicit, during a rant you just say the Portuguese equivalent of "nonsense!". Though you do come across as a pleasant person who wouldn't stir the pot.

[Bluenose]

I don't know how you keep your mouth shut, I'm sure i couldn't. The more nonsensical the BS the harder i would find it to stay quiet. I think you're a better man than me. I'm just lucky that my family all know I'm an unbeliever, but it is easier because all my kids' generation have turned out atheist, even though both my neice and nephew and i are all products of the Catholic education system. My kids seemed to survive the best efforts of their maternal grandmother to convert them.  She even tried Pascal's wager on me about that - when she finally cement down to "why not get then baptized anyway" I said "for the same reason they're not going to have a bar mitzva". She didn't have a reply to that, lol. I have no good advice how to handle your grandparents, it's an ugly situation. I hope you're able to navigate the treacherous wagers safely without running aground on the reef of unreason. Either way, always remember you can come here for some moral support.

[OldGit]

I admire you for keeping schtumm.  I could never do it.

[Harmonie]

I feel lucky, even though I really can't (well, shouldn't) tell any of my family members that I don't believe anymore, they are all very laid-back. My parents even stopped going to church years and years ago, putting zero pressure on me to go.

My grandpa was a very strong Christian, and held some beliefs that were a little extreme, but looking back at it - aside from pulling me to church the Sunday of the week I'd go see them during the summer - he never even began to push these beliefs on me.

[xSilverPhinx]

Well, not having to look for a hotel room in the middle of the night after all hell is unleashed is a powerful incentive to bite one's tongue. 

If you channel enough tension this way you won't be able to speak properly for a few hours anyways. 

[Firebird]

I'd also have a very hard time holding back. Even if I managed to keep my mouth shut,  my eyes would roll so much they'd end up in the back of my head. Just have a good pillow handy so you can smack your head into it repeatedly afterward.