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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Bad Penny II

Quote from: billy rubin on November 02, 2021, 10:29:40 PM
NOW ALL HAS BEEN HEARD; HERE IS THE CONCLUSION OF THE MATTER

igor listened to the sad sound of the organ

and he wondered at the price he woud soon pay for his failure

he pulled up a stool, gazed the imert jonghn and jane hill, and sadly contemplated his sorry future.

after a moment he suddenly jerked to attention

the hills were stirring!!!!

he looked closely as the music wafted across the laboratory

john hill's foot was twitching, then his legs, then his whole body

. . . . and jane hill was wiggling her fingertips

as the music rose to a crescendo, higher and hight, the hills begane to wiggle and to struggle against their restarints

suddenly john hill's eyes jerked wide open, and he turned his head to igor

and jane hills eyes op[ened as well, and she also looked deeply into igors eyes

what the fuck is going on, they both asked, in unison /

igor leapt to his feet in joy

hurtling his decrepit body to the foot of the steps as fast as he could, he then paused, directed his voice up the stone steps to the tower romm, and shouted, as if his whole future was at stake . . .

master! master! he cried . . .



Tank and all right thinking mods would have banned you for life if you took that any further.
Take my advice, don't listen to me.

Ecurb Noselrub

I don't get it.  Can you tell it again .... on another forum?

billy rubin



"I cannot understand the popularity of that kind of music, which is based on repetition. In a civilized society, things don't need to be said more than three times."

Tom62

On a beautiful summer's day, two English motorcyclists were driving through Wales.
They stopped at Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch for lunch, and one of the drivers asked the waitress, "Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are very slowly?"

The girl leaned over and said, "Burr... gurr... king".....
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

Ecurb Noselrub


billy rubin



"I cannot understand the popularity of that kind of music, which is based on repetition. In a civilized society, things don't need to be said more than three times."

hermes2015

"Eventually everything connects - people, ideas, objects. The quality of the connections is the key to quality per se."
― Charles Eames

Icarus


Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Tank

"Are you a naturally annoying person?"
"You should be a Jehovah's Witness."

Stolen  ;D
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Biggus Dickus

Biblical scholars claim the first computer dates back to the time of Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with very limited memory; just one byte....and then everything crashed.
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

Ecurb Noselrub


Biggus Dickus

"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."

hermes2015

"Eventually everything connects - people, ideas, objects. The quality of the connections is the key to quality per se."
― Charles Eames