Happy Atheist Forum

Pop quiz.  

Have you ever lied on a job application and been caught?

I thought this might make for an interesting discussion.

No, I actually haven't. But I will in the future if it will help out with interesting discussion!

I'm currently looking for a job and really hate filling out applications.  The whole "Big Brother" issue really grates my cheese.  I found this article to be interesting.

http://www.privacyrights.org/fs/fs16-bck.htm (http://www.privacyrights.org/fs/fs16-bck.htm)

"While some people are not concerned about background investigations, others are uncomfortable with the idea of an investigator poking around in their personal history. In-depth background checks could unearth information that is irrelevant, taken out of context, or just plain wrong. A further concern is that the report might include information that is illegal to use for hiring purposes or which comes from questionable sources."

If I do a bad job, fire me.  But don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong.  Unfortunately, in order to earn money, sometimes we have to agree to things that we don't really agree with.

I haven't.  I figure that even if I thought it would be a good idea to lie they would eventually figure it out when I was unable to do what my application claimed.  

I don't know how I feel about background checks.  I personally don't have anything in my past that would be unearthed by one.  Well, unless they go through the trouble of looking through my parent's divorce case.  My mother accused me of tampering with her car then decided to be a bitch and place that in the court papers.  I never touched her pos car other than to look inside and show her how bad her wiring looked after she found out what was wrong with it (the battery cable had wiggled loose).  Anyway, that's certainly something I wouldn't want showing up in a background search, especially since I didn't do anything.

But there are people who did something illegal when they were very young (drunk driving, petty theft, etc) and even though minors usually have their records 'erased' they  aren't really erased and can be found through an in-depth background check.  I also don't think they should look more than 10 years back in an background search...people can change and shouldn't have to be haunted by their past.

In a similar situation.  I was going to have my bf be officially added to my apt lease because that's part of the rules...no roomates without having them on the lease.  Well it asks if he's ever been suied by a landlord in the past.  He has and it should be irrelevant since I have paid the rent every month for a full year.  Plus he got suied due to his roomates not keeping up their end of the bargan, he just happend to be first on the lease.  So now a background check of that nature will make him look irresponsible and they could possibly tell me that he can't live here.  So, I'm just not going to add him to the lease.

What I have never understood are credit checks being run in association with job applications.  What is the point?  If your credit is bad then that's probably why you are trying to find a job or a better job.

Wow I think we've found someone possibly more paranoid than me, you guys!! And the cool thing is he or she likes guns (I can't tell, MommaSquid could be an ironic name....).

I've never lied on an application. Of course, I've only ever filled out three, and I haven't done anything that'd make me scared of background checks.

Quote from: "Big Mac"Wow I think we've found someone possibly more paranoid than me, you guys!! And the cool thing is he or she likes guns (I can't tell, MommaSquid could be an ironic name....).

MommaSquid's a she.  

I'm not sure if anyone can be more paranoid than you

Probably not, I've rigged a way to sleep with my Nagant M1895 right in arms reach.....putting it in my boot (which is beside my bed, I don't sleep with my boots on) with the barrel down. This way my cat won't knock it down and if she does, I doubt she could pull it out. Now that's paranoid.

As for a job application I wouldn't say I've lied per se, but more of trumped up myself within the limits of truth. I use a lawyer's kind of presentation.

Quote from: "laetusatheos"What I have never understood are credit checks being run in association with job applications.  What is the point?  If your credit is bad then that's probably why you are trying to find a job or a better job.

I'm not defending it, mind you...but, many employers have been persuaded of the statistical correlation between negative employment outcomes and credit usage.  As with most shallow uses of statistical evidence, skimming the surface of a report or using numerical substitutes, such as the FICO score may make it easier for human resources personnel to thin the number of applicants, but many otherwise qualified people will get tossed out in the process.

As this is the world we live in, let it be a lesson to all.  Unless you plan to buck the system, or find a way to forego being a part of it, protect your credit at all costs.  So much of what you want to accomplish may depend upon it.

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/bus ... edempl.htm (http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/buspubs/credempl.htm)

Yes, I have become totally paranoid in my old age.  I sleep with my Ruger P89 next to the bed.  And I need more OC pepper spray.

But I digress...

My credit is excellent.  However, because I move a lot in support of my husband's career, my job history does not present me in a good light.  I've left several jobs after 3 or 4 months and I find it's easier to leave those really short employment terms off an application.  

I've never been caught fudging (lying sounds so negative, but everyone likes fudge).  Maybe someday I'll get caught, but it won't be the worst thing that could ever happen.  

That ship has already sailed.

Wow, you guys are so 21st century.  Here is a pic of my weapon of choice.  What's nice is that when not fending off bad guys, it can prepare a nice chop for my wok.  Try doing that with a Ruger or a Nagant M1895.  
http://www.filelodge.com/files/room27/729993/chef.jpg (http://www.filelodge.com/files/room27/729993/chef.jpg)

See, I just keep a broadsword and a pair of knives next to my bed. I prefer that visceral feeling of driving a blade into something over shooting.

But I've said too much...*shifty eyes*

I'm pretty sure I sleep with my kittens and no weapons.

Quote from: "Court"I'm pretty sure I sleep with my kittens and no weapons.

Helllooo? kittens? sleeping?  Never shut your eyes around cats.  They are devious...you'll be lucky to wake up.  Look at these three...isn't it obvious they're up to no good...I never ever turn my back on them.

http://www.filelodge.com/files/room27/7 ... %20035.jpg (http://www.filelodge.com/files/room27/729993/Copy%20of%20Picture%20035.jpg)

Oh my goodness, they are so cute, how could they possible be up to no good?

They're cats...how could they not?

, I don't share your distrust, although I LOVE your kitties....

Cats are evil.  Being cute is part of their plan to take over the world.  They actually don't sleep in your bed at night.  They just pretend to be asleep untill you are asleep then quietly sneek off to join their fellow comrades to further discuss their world domination plot.  Don't let their cute cuddling and purring fool you...they have a plan.  That's why they stare at you every now and then...it's their way of laughing at us being oblivious to their scheme.

But, they are so cute, who wouldn't want a whole bunch of adorable kittens in charge anyway?

-----

Why are court and I the only ones without weapons of choice near the bed?  You are all paranoid...  I've thought about maybe getting a gun before, but they scare me so that's probably not going to happen.  I also don't see myself being able to stab someone.  But my evil attack cats are there to protect me :twisted:

Finally, Laetus brings some sanity to the conversation.  I may have to quote her next time I have to call the cops about the Cat Conspiracy!

Btw, I usually keep my "weapon" in the kitchen, as there does seem to be more of a need for chopped veggies than chopped assailants...and if any kitties are reading this, don't take this as a sign of weakness.   8)

Quote from: "TwistOfCain"See, I just keep a broadsword and a pair of knives next to my bed. I prefer that visceral feeling of driving a blade into something over shooting.

But I've said too much...*shifty eyes*

Well I also have a Seal SOG 2000 (possibly the most bad ass knife ever made and can survive anywhere.....) resting underneath my pillow in its sheath.

My friend told me that I should become a vigilante with all the guns I own.

I told him it didn't pay enough.

Shootings more menacing, no one alive can dodge bullets....except Keanu Reeves, because he knows Kung-Fu.

As for the meat cleaver, can it hit someone 15 yards away while they're trying to desert the Red Army?

Eh, final note: I live in one of the worst zip codes in Austin for crime, so I make my neighbors well aware of my possession of weapons. On cold nights you can hear me chamber a shotgun while singing Saturday Night Special by Lynard Skynard......whish whish whish......

Quote from: "Big Mac"As for the meat cleaver, can it hit someone 15 yards away while they're trying to desert the Red Army?

Yes, yes, I'm sure I could, given exigent circumstances

Quote from: "Big Mac"Eh, final note: I live in one of the worst zip codes in Austin for crime...

Hellloooooo, I have three cats.  I could have an arsenal, and they would not be dissuaded from their evil plans.  Dude, you have it lucky.

Quote from: "laetusatheos"Why are court and I the only ones without weapons of choice near the bed?  You are all paranoid...lol, I've thought about how I would probably hurt myself with a gun faster than I would hurt anyone attacking me with it.

Quote from: "laetusatheos"Why are court and I the only ones without weapons of choice near the bed?  You are all paranoid...lol, I've thought about how I would probably hurt myself with a gun faster than I would hurt anyone attacking me with it.

Double Posties! Double Posties!!!!

You girls really should learn how to protect yourselves.  

If you are afraid of guns, it's probably because you don't know the basic safety rules.  Start with something small, like a 22 caliber handgun.  Most indoor firing ranges rent guns for a reasonable fee.  The one I go to has ladies night twice a week, offering free range time and reduced rentals for the ladies.  Guys dig chicks who can handle a weapon.  

And I agree with the whole cats plotting world domination scenario.  My cats just need to learn how to use the can opener.  They'd have no use for me after that.

My cat knows how to open doors (well she struggles most of the time but she's done it before) and she hisses sometimes, I swear it says "Ssssaaaammuuueeelllll.....ssssssss"

And I can attest to that, MS, chicks with guns are hot.

Quote from: "Big Mac"Double Posties! Double Posties!!!!

whoops!

Quote from: "MommaSquid"You girls really should learn how to protect yourselves.  

If you are afraid of guns, it's probably because you don't know the basic safety rules.  Start with something small, like a 22 caliber handgun.  Most indoor firing ranges rent guns for a reasonable fee.  The one I go to has ladies night twice a week, offering free range time and reduced rentals for the ladies.  Guys dig chicks who can handle a weapon.  

I don't know why I'm afraid of guns.  It's more of an irrational fear than anything because I know that if it's not pointed towards me and the safety is on it shouldn't be able to hurt me.  I dated a cop a few years ago and made a big step in getting over my fear by touching a gun. I made him show me it was unloaded then shoot it at the wall a few times first....  He was going to take me to the gun range (or out somewhere in the country) to shoot a gun but we quit seeing each other before getting around to that.

I've thought about going to a gun range sometime.  But since the area I live in has a very low crime rate I just don't feel it is a high priority.  The only time I ever felt a need to own a weapon was when I had broken off a long term relationship and the guy wasn't taking it well at all.  He's married with a child in Dallas now, so that concern has passed.  But, I am planning on taking some self defense classes when I can afford them (maybe can find one through the college that fits my schedule).  Idealy I'd like to know enough to be able to take away someone else's gun then enough to have to shoot it if necessary...because I don't see myself carrying a gun or keeping one around the house.  But, it probably would take a while to learn how to take a gun w/o being shot.

Well they teach Special Forces that for years and even then it's a so so possibility at best. Guns are not as bad as you think. We took my friend from Saudi to go shoot some AK's and he had never so much as held a BB gun. Hell he thought that the whole round went through the barrell (I'm not kidding) and after we explained how it work he said he felt "really dumb". But it's a naturally assumption for people who haven't used a firearm. I find it soothing in all honesty. I think you're the one on AN who mentioned dating a cop when I was talking about how I want to become one. (I still do and I'm working on the needed college hours and getting into better shape, it's a good thing Austin PD is desperate for cops)

Quote from: "Big Mac"Well they teach Special Forces that for years and even then it's a so so possibility at best. Guns are not as bad as you think. We took my friend from Saudi to go shoot some AK's and he had never so much as held a BB gun. Hell he thought that the whole round went through the barrell (I'm not kidding) and after we explained how it work he said he felt "really dumb". But it's a naturally assumption for people who haven't used a firearm. I find it soothing in all honesty. I think you're the one on AN who mentioned dating a cop when I was talking about how I want to become one. (I still do and I'm working on the needed college hours and getting into better shape, it's a good thing Austin PD is desperate for cops)

Doesn't that type of gun basically work by hitting the round with the thingy (like my technical wording? ) causing it to fire then spits out the casing?

Ya that was probably me on the AN.  You should do it.  You get a cool car with lights and can arrest bad people.  Plus, girls love a man in uniform.

Quote from: "laetusatheos"

Quote from: "Big Mac"Well they teach Special Forces that for years and even then it's a so so possibility at best. Guns are not as bad as you think. We took my friend from Saudi to go shoot some AK's and he had never so much as held a BB gun. Hell he thought that the whole round went through the barrell (I'm not kidding) and after we explained how it work he said he felt "really dumb". But it's a naturally assumption for people who haven't used a firearm. I find it soothing in all honesty. I think you're the one on AN who mentioned dating a cop when I was talking about how I want to become one. (I still do and I'm working on the needed college hours and getting into better shape, it's a good thing Austin PD is desperate for cops)

Doesn't that type of gun basically work by hitting the round with the thingy (like my technical wording? ) causing it to fire then spits out the casing?

Ya that was probably me on the AN.  You should do it.  You get a cool car with lights and can arrest bad people.  Plus, girls love a man in uniform.

I really want to. It pays pretty good. 2 years at APD will yield a salary of 55k a year. And tonight me and a friend were eating in our security unifrorms (which look like APD uniforms, no joke) and they gave us the Cop Discount which is 50 percent! That right there showed me the perks of being a cop.

The trigger releases the hammer which hits the firing pin (but in the case of my Nagant, the firing pin is attached to the hammer) and that ignites the primer (or the stud thing which at the back that looks lik an out belly button) which sets the controlled explosion to propel the bullet (the lead that flies out) from the round and through the barrel.

And you are correct, sort of, semi-automatic weapons will automatically eject the casing and chamber another round. Revolvers don't, so supposedly (though often incorrect) are ideal for murder. The Nagant is a special case, since it creates a gas seal with the unusual round and the fact the chamber moves forward when cocked. It actually has been modified with a silencer by the Russians.

Quote from: "Big Mac"... But it's a naturally assumption for people who haven't used a firearm. I find it soothing in all honesty.

Please tell me that you don't find the idea of shooting someone soothing. Just the act of practicing with your weapon. LOL!

And good luck with the progress your making toward working for the APD.

laetus, here's the HowStuffWorks article complete with flash animations:

HowStuffWorks: How Machine Guns Work (http://science.howstuffworks.com/machine-gun1.htm)

(Thanks again, Marshall Brain.)

Quote from: "McQ"

Quote from: "Big Mac"... But it's a naturally assumption for people who haven't used a firearm. I find it soothing in all honesty.

Please tell me that you don't find the idea of shooting someone soothing. Just the act of practicing with your weapon. LOL!

And good luck with the progress your making toward working for the APD.

No not human beings, paper targets. To me a gun range is like a rather loud symphony when I have my ear plugs in. I hope I never have to shoot anybody, in all honesty. That's actually a thing taught by a lot of instructors, deescalation of violence. In fact a lot of CCL in Texas are 7 times less likely to be arrested for violent crime than normal citizens. That's pretty amazing considering they are carrying a lethal weapon.

Thanks, I'm going to try my best.

I second the well wishes to our future man in uniform.  

The CCW course taught in AZ emphasizes the other means of discouraging an attacker.  Use your voice to scare him off, always have a cell phone to call 911, blind him with a flashlight, blast him with pepper spray and run.  There are always options to consider before shooting.  If you don't want to spend the rest of your life in jail, you better run through the list before you fire.

I have a license to carry a concealed weapon.  That doesn't mean I always have one on my person, but you never know.  And that's half the fun for me.  

Quote from: "Jassman"laetus, here's the HowStuffWorks article complete with flash animations:

HowStuffWorks: How Machine Guns Work (http://science.howstuffworks.com/machine-gun1.htm)

(Thanks again, Marshall Brain.)

\

Thanks for the link. That's pretty much what I was imagining when i was guessing how they worked.  Maybe I've watched too many action flicks.  How stuff works is a great site for understanding various things.  The part on evolution is pretty good too.

Now the only thing it doesn't have is "How World Domination works."

The "How Stuff Works" section on Machine Guns is very nice. I wasn't sure how easy to understand it would be for people who weren't familiar with weapons but they do a nice job of it. I'm most familiar with the gas systems, as in the M16 series weapons, and they describe it perfectly. I'll check on their helicopter section to see what they do in that one. I'm guessing it'll be just as good.

I have an irrational fear of guns as well, although my stepdad has been trying to get me over it lately (He hunts and has a small arsenal in his bedroom :)

Quote from: "Court"a sexy girl with a gun.

Why do you have to tease the imagination?

Quick, somebody get a hose!

Quote from: "Jassman"

Quote from: "Court"a sexy girl with a gun.

Why do you have to tease the imagination?

How is that teasing? I just said I don't have a gun. :D

Quote from: "Court"How is that teasing? I just said I don't have a gun. , I think the problem is you boys and your overactive imaginations... :wink:

My imagination is definitely overactive.

But when you have the words "sexy", "girl", and "gun" in the same sentence, sometimes the mind doesn't comprehend the other parts...

Quote from: "Jassman"

Quote from: "Court"How is that teasing? I just said I don't have a gun. , I think the problem is you boys and your overactive imaginations... :wink:

My imagination is definitely overactive.

But when you have the words "sexy", "girl", and "gun" in the same sentence, sometimes the mind doesn't comprehend the other parts...

Well, I guess I can't blame you there.  :wink:

Quote from: "Court"

Quote from: "Jassman"

Quote from: "Court"a sexy girl with a gun.

Why do you have to tease the imagination?

How is that teasing? I just said I don't have a gun. :D

Well, boys do hit there sexual peak around 18ish....can't blame them for their overactive imaginations.

Isn't nature cruel.  Men hit their peak in their late teens while women don't hit it till around their early 30s

I remember my early 30's.   :wink:

Quote from: "laetusatheos"

Quote from: "Court"

Quote from: "Jassman"

Quote from: "Court"a sexy girl with a gun.

Why do you have to tease the imagination?

How is that teasing? I just said I don't have a gun. :D

Well, boys do hit there sexual peak around 18ish....can't blame them for their overactive imaginations.

Isn't nature cruel.  Men hit their peak in their late teens while women don't hit it till around their early 30s

Of course, there are those who stay at the top of the peak a long, long time. Even into their forties, perhaps? ;-)

And women do get more wonderful with maturity.

I've noticed something about Anti-Gun chicks.....they're almost all fat and/or ugly. Guess it's a sexually frustrated thing, eh?

I mean check out The "Dallas Moms" (once again, Dallas comes out to attack me....*shakes fist* Damn you Dallas and Patrick Duffy!)

http://www.millionmommarch.org/aboutus/ ... /?momid=36 (http://www.millionmommarch.org/aboutus/meetamom/?momid=36)

Quote from: "Big Mac"I've noticed something about Anti-Gun chicks.....they're almost all fat and/or ugly. Guess it's a sexually frustrated thing, eh?

Well, that's an interesting generalization...I haven't noticed, because I don't know many anti-gun chicks. I'm not, just frightened at my own inadequacies with them.

Quote from: "Court"

Quote from: "Big Mac"I've noticed something about Anti-Gun chicks.....they're almost all fat and/or ugly. Guess it's a sexually frustrated thing, eh?

Well, that's an interesting generalization...I haven't noticed, because I don't know many anti-gun chicks. I'm not, just frightened at my own inadequacies with them.

That's different. You acknowledge that your fear is somewhat irrational (I believe you used that word). These people almost make it seem like gun owners are knuckle dragging, deranged, mouth-breathers who want to shoot everything in sight. I mean look at Rosie  O'Donnell......well not hard to miss that thing.

Update: I have unaltered footage of Rosie's personal life without her handlers around. Scroll down until you see here staring off a balcony and click on it to activate the movie. It really explains a lot. There's no Koosh balls around.

http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/televisi ... 000761.php (http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/television_specials/000761.php)

Rosie's ok.  She's not a bad hold 'em player, either.  She bluffed me.

Nope. Never lied in an interview or on an application. Although the special background investigation the Army did on me so that I could play with nukes made me nervous.
 

Well, I do declare, we have the manliest men here.  All this talk of guns and uniforms, I may faint from excitement.  (I sounded like Scarlett O'Hara for a few seconds.)

  :lol:

Quote from: "McQ"Nope. Never lied in an interview or on an application. Although the special background investigation the Army did on me so that I could play with nukes made me nervous.
 ;)

Quote from: "Chris"

Quote from: "McQ"Nope. Never lied in an interview or on an application. Although the special background investigation the Army did on me so that I could play with nukes made me nervous.
 ;)

Yeah, man! LOL! I remember the days.....

Quote from: "Chris"Rosie's ok.  She's not a bad hold 'em player, either.  She bluffed me.

I bet she wears underwear with dick holes.......(shameless Dave Chappelle plug)

This thread has derailed and ignited...

You're a Hippopatamus! You're weird.......Toilet seat assistance at Row 1, THANK YOU!!!!!!

Yep, you're right, it has.