Happy Atheist Forum

Getting To Know You => Ask HAF => Topic started by: Arturo on December 21, 2016, 06:26:38 AM

Title: Fear
Post by: Arturo on December 21, 2016, 06:26:38 AM
I am afraid of being a nice guy because if I'm a nice guy, I will make people feel bad. Which in turn will make them hate me and hurt me when I'm being nice to them. I know that might sound irrational but fears are always irrational. I am just beginning to discover this fear and I think it's plagued me for many years. I am sorry for being rude to you if I ever was because I do not know what I'm saying sometimes because I make myself think that I am being nice when I'm being actually being rude or vis versa. I hope you all have a wonderful day and a good holiday because you deserve it.
Title: Re: Fear
Post by: Bad Penny II on December 21, 2016, 09:23:42 AM
Oh that's OK, I forgive you for being nice.
It's probably not even your fault entirely.
Probably got caught up in a good crowd.
I don't hate Ned Flanders, only his moe.
You don't have a moustache do you?
Fears aren't always irrational you know.
Irrational fears mightn't always be irrational.
Always is always a challenge to find exception.

Quote from: Apathy on December 21, 2016, 06:26:38 AMI am sorry for being rude to you if I ever was because I do not know what I'm saying sometimes because I make myself think that I am being nice when I'm being actually being rude or vis versa.

That must be very confusing, particularly the vis versa.
I found it confusing, I don't think it's spelt right.

I don't think I particularly deserve a good holiday.
I'll have one anyway, the universe won't care.

Title: Re: Fear
Post by: Dave on December 21, 2016, 10:49:05 AM
Apathy, I cannot remember you being "rude" to anyone. And "rudeness" is a personal value thing. For me it is the intent not the words and that I take from context.

Call me an idiot if I admit to doing sonething silly and I will agree with you!
Title: Re: Fear
Post by: Davin on December 21, 2016, 02:18:46 PM
I've never been hurt by being nice to someone. I've had people be rude in return, people try to hurt me when I'm trying to be nice, and often people that just don't seem to appreciate it. None of those matters to me though, because I'm not nice to get a direct positive response from others, and the only people that can hurt me, most likely won't. The closer I am to someone, the more trust I have in their judgments. For others, I don't have much trust at all and I can only be affected if it proves out to be true, but by that time, it's almost always beyond the point that it can hurt me and become academic.

Also, I don't think that fear in itself is irrational. Though many people have a lot of irrational responses to fear, I don't think it's fair to blame the responses to fear on the fear. Fear, like most other emotions is a driving force or a warning, so just feeling fear is not necessarily irrational, at most I think feeling fear is arational. If you're scared of something, there is a reason for it, not always a good reason, but there is a reason. Just because one feels an emotion, doesn't make them irrational, nor does feeling an emotion have to lead to irrational reactions.
Title: Re: Fear
Post by: Arturo on December 21, 2016, 07:42:26 PM
You all have good responses and I appreciate it!