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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Dark Lightning


Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Dark Lightning

:shrug: I stole it from someone, too!  :D I wouldn't be able 'shop that to save my life!

Icarus

Young kid in the old west aspired to be the fastest gun/  He walked into a bar where and old man with a reputation for being a fast gun was drinking beer,  The kid approaches the old man and asked for advice.  old  man:  Tie your holster down lower on your leg.  The kid did that and proceeded to shoot the bow tie off the piano player.  Approaching the old man for more advice he asked for more.  The old man told him to cut a notch in his holster where the hammer rests. That lets the gun come out of the holster without hanging up on the hammer.  The kid did that and shot a cuff link off the piano player.  Once again the kid approaches the old man.  The old guy said: see that pot of axle grease over there? Yes. Go wipe that grease on your gun.  The kid wiped the barrel of his gun with grease....the old man said no, wipe it on the handle too., The kids asks why.  The old man said that piano player is Wyatt Earp and he is going to jam that gun up your ass.  It wont hurt as much if it is greased a lot.

Dark Lightning


Randy

"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Bad Penny II

Quote from: Randy on April 14, 2021, 04:34:37 AM
Quote from: Dark Lightning on April 13, 2021, 12:23:28 AM
:rofl:


I'm a little dense here. I don't understand the joke. :(

What is the common characteristic of TRex that people joke about?
It goes at least as far back as Toy Story.
Take my advice, don't listen to me.

Randy

Quote from: Bad Penny II on April 14, 2021, 06:58:57 AM
Quote from: Randy on April 14, 2021, 04:34:37 AM
Quote from: Dark Lightning on April 13, 2021, 12:23:28 AM
:rofl:


I'm a little dense here. I don't understand the joke. :(

What is the common characteristic of TRex that people joke about?
It goes at least as far back as Toy Story.
Ah, I understand now. :)
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

billy rubin



"I cannot understand the popularity of that kind of music, which is based on repetition. In a civilized society, things don't need to be said more than three times."

Dark Lightning

[joke ruination] T Rex has such short arms that it can only paint a stripe on a building. [/joke ruination]

xSilverPhinx

"I asked my daughter to give me a phone book. She laughed at me, called me a boomer and lent me her iPhone. So, the spider is dead, her iPhone is broken and my daughter is furious...."
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Icarus


Randy

"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Tank

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair done?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.