I've got a problem.
You've come to the right place for a ridiculous resolution.
How does it work?
You or anyone states their problem, one or more helpful Haffers will offer sage advice.
No order intended, multiple simultaneous problems are permitted.
OK, sounds just what I need, I'll start.
The doctors say that the manuka honey isn't helping with my cancer and that I need chemo.
I don't want to have cancer but I don't want my hair to fall out.
Can you help me?
Yes I can, what you need is sage, lots of sage. Sage smoothies, sage tea, sage and lentil and sage sausages, sage cigarettes, lots of sage, get as much into you and on you as you can and you'll be fine.
Oh thank you thank you Helpful Haffers! I knew those doctors were acting in their own greedy self interest.
Green should reconsider losing his hair.
I read the other day that curing cancer is as simple as removing all sugar from the body and drinking a whole, blended lemon every morning. Might try that.
Green can always wear an extravagant hat to cover his baldness.
Hello Helpful Haffers, I hope you can help me.
I'm troubled about having my child immunised, I read, no, no, it was on youtube, ye anyway, the guy was saying immunisation causes Morlockism and there were other people nodding in agreement, or one person nodding filmed from different angles. :-\
Anyway am I being silly to be concerned, should I just do what our doctor says and accept immunisation?
No, you're not being silly, it is never silly to be concerned for our children's welfare.
That said I think you should take your doctor's advice.
It is true immunisation seems to be causing an increasing incidence of Morlockism.
This however should not be a cause for concern, Morlocks should be seen as a natural evolutionary advance. Morlocks are better suited to the world that we are making. The sun is only going to get worse, subterranean life and a paleo diet is the way of the future.
Quote from: Bad Penny II on April 20, 2019, 02:53:19 PM
...Morlocks are better suited to the world that we are making. The sun is only going to get worse, subterranean life and a paleo diet is the way of the future.
:rofl:
Quote from: Bad Penny II on April 20, 2019, 02:52:00 PM
Hello Helpful Haffers, I hope you can help me.
I'm troubled about having my child immunised, I read, no, no, it was on youtube, ye anyway, the guy was saying immunisation causes Morlockism and there were other people nodding in agreement, or one person nodding filmed from different angles. :-\
Anyway am I being silly to be concerned, should I just do what our doctor says and accept immunisation?
:notsure: How can I put this lightly...if your child dies you might have to make it your life's work to try and figure out how to travel to the past to vaccinate them before they got that totally preventable disease. :thumbsup: Good luck with that!
Quote from: Bad Penny II on April 20, 2019, 01:11:36 AM
The doctors say that the manuka honey isn't helping with my cancer and that I need chemo.
I don't want to have cancer but I don't want my hair to fall out.
Can you help me?
Chemo and glue are your friends.
Quote from: Bad Penny II on April 20, 2019, 02:53:19 PM
...
It is true immunisation seems to be causing an increasing incidence of Morlockism.
This however should not be a cause for concern, Morlocks should be seen as a natural evolutionary advance. Morlocks are better suited to the world that we are making.
...
:rofl:
So, I know somebody who knows somebody who's acquainted with somebody who says people look at them, as in people can't seem to look past a fake smile put on for show. People look, but don't see, and that even though that person is surrounded by people they feel very lonely most of the time. What would Helpful Haffers suggest be done in this situation?
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on April 22, 2019, 12:41:12 AM
People look, but don't see, and that even though that person is surrounded by people they feel very lonely most of the time. What would Helpful Haffers suggest be done in this situation?
My inclination would be to use my innate incognitoism to steal stuff but I'm an Australian and it is known Australia is entirely peopled by criminals.
My advice is to appeal to more than their eyes.
What that person many degrees separated from you needs is essence of bacon.
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71JjErxVtgL._SY550_.jpg)
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on April 22, 2019, 12:41:12 AM
So, I know somebody who knows somebody who's acquainted with somebody who says people look at them, as in people can't seem to look past a fake smile put on for show. People look, but don't see, and that even though that person is surrounded by people they feel very lonely most of the time. What would Helpful Haffers suggest be done in this situation?
I think it's genetic.
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on April 22, 2019, 12:41:12 AM
So, I know somebody who knows somebody who's acquainted with somebody who says people look at them, as in people can't seem to look past a fake smile put on for show. People look, but don't see, and that even though that person is surrounded by people they feel very lonely most of the time. What would Helpful Haffers suggest be done in this situation?
I've heard that this homemade stuff should solve the problem of being lonely and invisible:
Lots and lots of wine grapes
Granulated sugar
Filtered water
Wine yeast