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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Ali

Quote from: Asmodean on April 12, 2012, 07:06:34 PM
I think me thanking someone for good service means more to that person than a tenner left on the table does.

That's because you've never worked for $2.13/hr.

ETA:  In the US, employers don't have to pay minimum wage for servers; the thought is that tips will make up the difference.  When I was a server, the going rate was $2.13/hr.  If some nice Norwegian man said "Thank you very much for the service" I would have thought "What a nice man."  And then when he didn't tip, I would have thought "That cheap mfer."

Asmodean

Quote from: The Ali on April 12, 2012, 07:13:14 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 12, 2012, 07:06:34 PM
I think me thanking someone for good service means more to that person than a tenner left on the table does.

That's because you've never worked for $2.13/hr.
...Nor would I work for such coin unless it is at least lower-average salary in that area.

I have, however, worked with customer service in different forms. Never needed tips to pay for my gasoline and meat.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

AnimatedDirt

Quote from: The Ali on April 12, 2012, 07:13:14 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 12, 2012, 07:06:34 PM
I think me thanking someone for good service means more to that person than a tenner left on the table does.

That's because you've never worked for $2.13/hr.

ETA:  In the US, employers don't have to pay minimum wage for servers; the thought is that tips will make up the difference.  When I was a server, the going rate was $2.13/hr.  If some nice Norwegian man said "Thank you very much for the service" I would have thought "What a nice man."  And then when he didn't tip, I would have thought "That cheap mfer."

Exactly.

I'm a big tipper if I get the service I like and I'm a 15% tipper if I simply get good service.  Rarely have I tipped less than 15% as it is rare I've had a server not deserving of at least 15%.

Ali

Quote from: Asmodean on April 12, 2012, 07:17:49 PM
Quote from: The Ali on April 12, 2012, 07:13:14 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 12, 2012, 07:06:34 PM
I think me thanking someone for good service means more to that person than a tenner left on the table does.

That's because you've never worked for $2.13/hr.
...Nor would I.

I have, however, worked with customer service in different forms. Never needed tips to pay for my gasoline and meat.

That's because those that work for gas stations and...uh....meat stores(?) get paid at least minimum wage.

I realize it's probably different in Norway, but in the US, servers can make great money, assuming people tip well.  They can also be screwed if people don't tip well.

Buddy

There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."

They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed."

The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog."

The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"

He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too."

The man at the door says, "Come on in."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"

The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

joeactor

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog.
All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog around, knocking stuff off the shelves.
The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!!"
The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

Tom62

Q: Why can't Germans get AIDS?
A: Germans don't have any friends
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

Tom62

Q: What is the different between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
A: One less person drunk
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

Tom62

The Pessimist: sees only the darkness in the tunnel
The Optimist: sees the light at the end of the tunnel
The Realist: sees that the light comes from a train
The Train Driver: sees three idiots on the tracks
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

Guardian85

Quote from: The Ali on April 12, 2012, 07:13:14 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 12, 2012, 07:06:34 PM
I think me thanking someone for good service means more to that person than a tenner left on the table does.

That's because you've never worked for $2.13/hr.

ETA:  In the US, employers don't have to pay minimum wage for servers; the thought is that tips will make up the difference.  When I was a server, the going rate was $2.13/hr.  If some nice Norwegian man said "Thank you very much for the service" I would have thought "What a nice man."  And then when he didn't tip, I would have thought "That cheap mfer."

I guess it's a case of "When in Rome..."
If I am in a country with a tipping culture, I tip. If not, I don't.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Asmodean

Quote from: The Ali on April 12, 2012, 07:23:07 PM
That's because those that work for gas stations and...uh....meat stores(?) get paid at least minimum wage.
I don't think we even have that. Oh, there are some wages some of our companies pay foreign construction workers and cleaning staff, that are so unethical that they are actually illegal, but I don't know any one making a "minimum wage", be they in pizza delivery, customer service or... Whatever.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

AnimatedDirt

Quote from: Asmodean on April 12, 2012, 10:05:42 PM
Quote from: The Ali on April 12, 2012, 07:23:07 PM
That's because those that work for gas stations and...uh....meat stores(?) get paid at least minimum wage.
I don't think we even have that. Oh, there are some wages some of our companies pay foreign construction workers and cleaning staff, that are so unethical that they are actually illegal, but I don't know any one making a "minimum wage", be they in pizza delivery, customer service or... Whatever.

Ever heard of fast-food?

Asmodean

Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 12, 2012, 10:13:52 PM
Ever heard of fast-food?
Yes. Them at that place I usually go to make more than a regular grocery store worker. I hear McD's pays a bit less, but their workers are not cheap either - they'd go get another job if they were too underpaid, and so we pay 10-20 bucks for a burger as a result.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

AnimatedDirt

Quote from: Asmodean on April 12, 2012, 10:27:59 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 12, 2012, 10:13:52 PM
Ever heard of fast-food?
Yes. Them at that place I usually go to make more than a regular grocery store worker. I hear McD's pays a bit less, but their workers are not cheap either - they'd go get another job if they were too underpaid, and so we pay 10-20 bucks for a burger as a result.

Sorry, I had a difficult time following the first point.  The latter; McD's pays minimum wage to their starters, I'm not sure what you mean that their workers are not cheap.  McD's is not a job (the service part), certainly, to raise a family on except MAYBE in a managerial position in the least.

Asmodean

Oh, if you want to be the only one working in a family of three or four and with minimal government support, then I'd recommend being at least an engineer or a psychologist - life is sort of expensive here and the lower end jobs sort of pay enough for one, maybe one and a kid.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.