Happy Atheist Forum

Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Dark Lightning

  • *****
  • 2019
  • Gender: Male
  • Curmudgeon
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4575 on: April 04, 2021, 02:04:15 PM »

Tank

  • *****
  • 33565
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4576 on: April 04, 2021, 06:17:15 PM »
A good use of Photoshop!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Dark Lightning

  • *****
  • 2019
  • Gender: Male
  • Curmudgeon
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4577 on: April 04, 2021, 08:00:06 PM »
:shrug: I stole it from someone, too!  :D I wouldn't be able 'shop that to save my life!

Icarus

  • The wise one.
  • *****
  • 6637
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4578 on: April 12, 2021, 11:34:10 PM »
Young kid in the old west aspired to be the fastest gun/  He walked into a bar where and old man with a reputation for being a fast gun was drinking beer,  The kid approaches the old man and asked for advice.  old  man:  Tie your holster down lower on your leg.  The kid did that and proceeded to shoot the bow tie off the piano player.  Approaching the old man for more advice he asked for more.  The old man told him to cut a notch in his holster where the hammer rests. That lets the gun come out of the holster without hanging up on the hammer.  The kid did that and shot a cuff link off the piano player.  Once again the kid approaches the old man.  The old guy said: see that pot of axle grease over there? Yes. Go wipe that grease on your gun.  The kid wiped the barrel of his gun with grease....the old man said no, wipe it on the handle too., The kids asks why.  The old man said that piano player is Wyatt Earp and he is going to jam that gun up your ass.  It wont hurt as much if it is greased a lot.

Dark Lightning

  • *****
  • 2019
  • Gender: Male
  • Curmudgeon
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4579 on: April 13, 2021, 12:23:28 AM »
:rofl:


Randy

  • ****
  • 1415
  • Gender: Male
  • Learned everything from cartoons.
    • My Comic Books
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4580 on: April 14, 2021, 04:34:37 AM »
:rofl:


I'm a little dense here. I don't understand the joke. :(
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Bad Penny II

  • *****
  • 2272
  • Idiot Symmetrician
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4581 on: April 14, 2021, 06:58:57 AM »
:rofl:


I'm a little dense here. I don't understand the joke. :(

What is the common characteristic of TRex that people joke about?
It goes at least as far back as Toy Story.

Randy

  • ****
  • 1415
  • Gender: Male
  • Learned everything from cartoons.
    • My Comic Books
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4582 on: April 14, 2021, 08:50:47 PM »
:rofl:


I'm a little dense here. I don't understand the joke. :(

What is the common characteristic of TRex that people joke about?
It goes at least as far back as Toy Story.
Ah, I understand now. :)
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

billy rubin

  • humble azpirant to the throne3 of typos
  • *****
  • 2453
  • Gender: Male
  • i actually do not know what LætusAtheos means
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4583 on: April 16, 2021, 02:46:46 AM »
ive never seen toy story


Mom: “I Should Have Stopped Using TP Years Ago! This New Device Is A Godsend”

Dark Lightning

  • *****
  • 2019
  • Gender: Male
  • Curmudgeon
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4584 on: April 16, 2021, 03:41:28 AM »
[joke ruination] T Rex has such short arms that it can only paint a stripe on a building. [/joke ruination]

xSilverPhinx

  • Non Dvcor
  • *****
  • 19548
  • Gender: Female
  • I Spy With My Googly Eyes...JOY! IAGO!
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4585 on: April 19, 2021, 12:16:21 AM »
"I asked my daughter to give me a phone book. She laughed at me, called me a boomer and lent me her iPhone. So, the spider is dead, her iPhone is broken and my daughter is furious...."
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Tank

  • *****
  • 33565
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4586 on: April 19, 2021, 01:38:54 PM »
 :lol:
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Icarus

  • The wise one.
  • *****
  • 6637
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4587 on: April 19, 2021, 11:11:54 PM »
 ^^ :grin:

Randy

  • ****
  • 1415
  • Gender: Male
  • Learned everything from cartoons.
    • My Comic Books
Re: Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )
« Reply #4588 on: April 20, 2021, 01:31:36 AM »
:lol:
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg