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Outed (and publically berated) at daycare!

Started by Ali, February 28, 2012, 01:45:06 AM

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Quote from: Too Few Lions on February 28, 2012, 10:07:56 AM
well done Ali, and well done T for being brave enough to say what he thinks. I guess no four year old child likes to be told their invisible friend doesn't actually exist, but her mother's behaviour was appalling.


T,with the greatest respect, doesn't "think"anything; he is simply repeating what Ali has told him. In a highly conformist society  such as appears to typify large tracts of the USA,where belief in God is almost universal and atheism is viewed as something scandalous, the mother's reaction is understandable, almost inevitable. The pity of it all is the human propensity to espouse belief-systems with an uncritical certitude and to succumb to the "us-and-them" mentality.
Some ideas are so stupid only an intellectual could believe them (Orwell).

Guardian85

It's a fracked up situation, but very well handled.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Truthseeker

#17
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  Matthew 7:1

I ask the board, who in this situation was following scripture?  Could it be the devil worshiping Ali?

Am I the only one who finds it rather intriguing how many times atheists seem to act more Christ-like than Christians?
Suffering is the breaking of the shell that encloses one's understanding.  Khalil Gibran

Tank

Well done T and Ali. As Ed pointed out T just repeated what he had been told and the little girl had just repeated what she had been told.

The issue will get to be a problem if the little girl tries to build a gang up against T. You need to discuss this with the play work leader or things could get nasty.

Regards the mother stick to your guns. You are absolutely right that you both have a right to bring up your children as you see fit. But if your sone is to keep his mouth shut about the non-existance of God, then her daughter has to keep her mouth shut too. 
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Ali

Thanks everyone!

Yes, I agree, T is (naturally) brilliant and advanced in every way, but in this instance he was just repeating what his godless mother said; it's not like he's spent a lot of time reading and thinking and coming to his own conclusions.  He asked me "Is God real?" and I told him what I think, which is that no one really knows for sure, but some people believe in god, and some people don't, and his father and I don't. 

It's a small home daycare, not a big day care center, and I do have confidence that Anna (the owner of the daycare and the primary care provider) won't let the kids gang up on each other.  I'll talk to her about it, but I've known Anna since T was 12 weeks old, and I have a lot of faith in her.

The only thing I'm worried about is like, what if the mom starts gossiping about it to the other parents, and then they don't invite T to their kid's birthday parties and outings and play dates and won't let their kids come to T's.  That would seriously break my heart if T was getting blacklisted because they don't like me.  It's nothing to do with him, he's just a little kid.  Anyway, hopefully last night was the end of it. 

Buddy

Whether or not he was just repeating what you told him, give him a high-five for me. :D I wouldn't worry about the blacklist though, hopefully the other parents have enough sense that they won't listen to the other mom if she decides to gossip. Besides, little kids have a magical way of being friends with everyone regardless of differences, so I doubt that T will have a problem.
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Amicale

Quote from: Budhorse4 on February 28, 2012, 03:12:00 PM
Whether or not he was just repeating what you told him, give him a high-five for me. :D I wouldn't worry about the blacklist though, hopefully the other parents have enough sense that they won't listen to the other mom if she decides to gossip. Besides, little kids have a magical way of being friends with everyone regardless of differences, so I doubt that T will have a problem.

I'm with Bud on this one, if T is generally a happy, friendly, polite kid (with the odd outburst, which all kids have, lol)... other kids will like him a lot. Kids tend to make friends with one another, and then when parents see how well the kids get on together, they sometimes make friends with that child's parents -- even if one idiot has a problem with you, I doubt they all will. Especially when Anna's known you so long, and knows what a good mom you are. :)

A few months ago I was working a temp job in a store, so I put A in a similar type of home daycare for the short while I was working, and as far as the other parents there knew... I was just another single mom with a little one in daycare. Until A drew a picture of her, me, and my girlfriend standing inside my house. I wasn't there to see it, but apparently when she explained the picture, one of the other kids there said "Cool! I got 2 uncles who have a house" and a little girl said "my gramma has a girl friend!".... and they just kept playing with A. :) I was worried that maybe a parent might get uptight or something, but I'm fortunate that didn't happen. It's kinda similar to your concerns, Ali. In different ways, atheists and LGBT folks are both in a process of 'coming out' to folks. I seem to have gotten 'blessed' with a double whammy.  :D


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Ali

That's awesome that the kids at A's daycare could relate and just kept playing.  That's definitely true about little kids.  I don't think they have prejudice ingrained into them the way some adults do - even if they've been raised with those attitudes it hasn't had much time to "take."  Even T and the little girl, it's not like they had the same sort of distrust or anathema towards each other that an adult Christian and an adult Atheist might feel if they got into a heated argument about religion; basically they were just arguing over who is "right".  I think T will be fine; he's known most of the kids at daycare for most of his life and they are all friends; I can't imagine this is going to drive a big wedge between them at this age.

Amicale

Quote from: Ali on February 28, 2012, 04:18:52 PM
That's awesome that the kids at A's daycare could relate and just kept playing.  That's definitely true about little kids.  I don't think they have prejudice ingrained into them the way some adults do - even if they've been raised with those attitudes it hasn't had much time to "take."  Even T and the little girl, it's not like they had the same sort of distrust or anathema towards each other that an adult Christian and an adult Atheist might feel if they got into a heated argument about religion; basically they were just arguing over who is "right".  I think T will be fine; he's known most of the kids at daycare for most of his life and they are all friends; I can't imagine this is going to drive a big wedge between them at this age.

:) you're completely right. At their age, it's not about challenging one another with actual ideas (or being offended by ideas), it generally boils down to "my mommy said this!" and "my mommy said that!" and so on an so forth.

Alas. Mommy: the Walking Wikipedia for a preschooler.  ;D


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Guardian85

Quote from: Ali on February 28, 2012, 04:18:52 PM
That's awesome that the kids at A's daycare could relate and just kept playing.  That's definitely true about little kids.  I don't think they have prejudice ingrained into them the way some adults do - even if they've been raised with those attitudes it hasn't had much time to "take."  Even T and the little girl, it's not like they had the same sort of distrust or anathema towards each other that an adult Christian and an adult Atheist might feel if they got into a heated argument about religion; basically they were just arguing over who is "right".  I think T will be fine; he's known most of the kids at daycare for most of his life and they are all friends; I can't imagine this is going to drive a big wedge between them at this age.

As long as they are kids, they are probably gonna argue more about lego then religion.  :P


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Ali

Quote from: Guardian85 on February 28, 2012, 04:30:47 PM
Quote from: Ali on February 28, 2012, 04:18:52 PM
That's awesome that the kids at A's daycare could relate and just kept playing.  That's definitely true about little kids.  I don't think they have prejudice ingrained into them the way some adults do - even if they've been raised with those attitudes it hasn't had much time to "take."  Even T and the little girl, it's not like they had the same sort of distrust or anathema towards each other that an adult Christian and an adult Atheist might feel if they got into a heated argument about religion; basically they were just arguing over who is "right".  I think T will be fine; he's known most of the kids at daycare for most of his life and they are all friends; I can't imagine this is going to drive a big wedge between them at this age.

As long as they are kids, they are probably gonna argue more about lego then religion.  :P

I wish that were true of adults as well.  Wouldn't it be nice if the most you ever had to argue about was legos and the true country of origin of lingonberry sauce?  :D

Buddy

Quote from: Guardian85 on February 28, 2012, 04:30:47 PM

As long as they are kids, they are probably gonna argue more about lego then religion.  :P

I see no argument for Legos. They are awesome.  :P
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Guardian85

Quote from: Ali on February 28, 2012, 04:52:28 PM
I wish that were true of adults as well.  Wouldn't it be nice if the most you ever had to argue about was legos and the true country of origin of lingonberry sauce?  :D

What sauce?


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Ali


Asmodean

Quote from: Guardian85 on February 28, 2012, 04:59:15 PM
Quote from: Ali on February 28, 2012, 04:52:28 PM
I wish that were true of adults as well.  Wouldn't it be nice if the most you ever had to argue about was legos and the true country of origin of lingonberry sauce?  :D

What sauce?
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