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Your conversion to atheism

Started by xXxWashburnxXx, January 26, 2012, 11:58:22 PM

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xXxWashburnxXx

I am new to atheism, and my story is probably not that unusual, but I want to hear how some of you came to atheism.
I was once a hardcore conservative christian, studied the bible often, but last year I began to have some thoughts about the religion, what it means, promotes, the values it holds important and things of that nature. I began to question how a loving, compassionate god could justify, and in some cases order his followers to commit genocide, how any loving, compassionate god could allow, in modern times, extremist groups to continue to commit genocide because people don't follow the extremist's religion (as they see it) to a T, instead of just showing himself and ordering them to stop or proving their religion wrong (depending on the religion and god). I wondered why a loving, compassionate god would want homosexuals to be killed for something they have no choice in, or why a loving, compassionate god would want women to be killed because they weren't virgins on their wedding day, or how any of these things that didn't even really need to be justified could be by this loving, compassionate god more or less murdering his hybrid human/god son. Things like this began to cease to make sense once I started to form my own political thoughts and ideas and after a while I just decided that there could be no such thing as a loving, compassionate god.
Evolution is JUST a theory. Ya know, like gravity!

Gawen

Well, I never converted. I was born an atheist (just like everyone else) and never believed any of it...even through the first 17 years of my life as a Presbyterian. There are some interesting stories here, though.
The essence of the mind is not in what it thinks, but how it thinks. Faith is the surrender of our mind; of reason and our skepticism to put all our trust or faith in someone or something that has no good evidence of itself. That is a sinister thing to me. Of all the supposed virtues, faith is not.
"When you fall, I will be there" - Floor

Firebird

I don't think anyone in my close family has ever really believed in god. But I did go to synagogue as a kid (reform judaism) and got bar mitzvah'd, so the religion was still in my life, just more as a cultural thing than anyone else. Once I went to college, I stopped going to any religious services, partly because I couldn't justify sitting there and listening to the rabbi talk about god. I felt like a hypocrite, and gradually felt more comfortable calling myself agnostic or atheist. I'm also very political, and seeing politicians invoke religion so often bothered me very much.
I can't say I've stopped being jewish either, I suppose. It's part of my background, but at this point it has absolutely no influence or connection to my life. And if we ever have kids, we've agreed we're not raising them in either one of our religions.
"Great, replace one book about an abusive, needy asshole with another." - Will (moderator) on replacing hotel Bibles with "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Harmonie

I posted a bit of it in my introduction topic just a couple of nights ago, but... First, there was the foundation of me never feeling too strongly for Christianity. I went to church every Sunday throughout all of my childhood. However, I found it extremely boring and praise and worship did nothing for me. People who are real Christians speak so differently of Christianity, God, and Jesus than I ever have.

So that's the foundation. However, I wasn't actively questioning the existence of said God. I hadn't really been introduced to the concept, sadly. My family is so Christian. They absolutely want me to marry a 'good person'. Meaning a Christian (directly stated by them). *sighs* Anyway, in late summer of 2004 I got my own PC, and my family got high speed internet. I joined two forums that had an really outspoken atheist member. He wasn't rude about it, but he was a very smart guy and made great arguments (introducing me to arguments as to why the Christian God is so unlikely to actually exist). Eventually, it got through to me. I don't want to make it seem like I was influenced to become an Atheist by some random guy on the internet, but as I said, the foundation was there. And it didn't come quick. Around that time I also took AP European History, and hearing about all of the history of the church also tipped me toward the atheist side. Lastly, being passionately for the rights and acceptance of AND being a part of the LGBT community tipped me completely over to atheism.

So there were a few influences. Overall, atheism just felt so right to me. Like it is the real truth. With the concept of how unlikely God is and the history of how Christianity was used, it just become undeniable to me that something is up.

As said in my introduction topic, I've had a time of weakness. Not as in being a Christian is weak, but as in I wanted to go back to believing in God due to my own weakness to cope with issues that came into my life. I went with that for four years before I finally came back to admitting what I knew was true deep down. God is so unlikely, and I can't rely on things like "Satan planted this to fool you" and "God is so far above our comprehension. You and I could never prove his existence with our inferior intelligence (not even joking, that has been said)" to hold up faith in something that is so unlikely.

Icon Image by Cherubunny on Tumblr
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

Whitney

my whole story is on here somewhere...assuming it wasn't lost during our last database transfer....but, in short, my search to find a deeper understanding of the bible brought about unexpected results.  Then I was deist and 'agnostic' for some time till I felt atheist was the best label for my views.

Thunder Road

Quote from: Radiant on January 27, 2012, 05:13:13 AM

Around that time I also took AP European History, and hearing about all of the history of the church also tipped me toward the atheist side. Lastly, being passionately for the rights and acceptance of AND being a part of the LGBT community tipped me completely over to atheism.

AP Euro was also my first eye-opener.  It was when I realized that as a Catholic I was actually supposed to believe the cracker became flesh, and that it wasn't all just symbolic.  That was the first step.

Oh and not really related to the topic at all but I always get excited when I see female members joining (partly because most of the outspoken atheists are male and there is little representation from the female side) but mostly because on a Lutheran campus like where I am I haven't met a single girl who isn't outspokenly Christian yet and let's face it, I'm gettin' lonely over here.  The only reason I bring this up is because I lol'd when I read that you identify with the LGBT community and I was like "well, easy come, easy go". 
"Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see." -John Lennon, Strawberry Fields Forever

Freshman Meteorology major at Valparaiso University in Indiana and fan of exclusively classic rock.

Tank

Quote from: Whitney on January 27, 2012, 06:09:48 AM
my whole story is on here somewhere...assuming it wasn't lost during our last database transfer....but, in short, my search to find a deeper understanding of the bible brought about unexpected results.  Then I was deist and 'agnostic' for some time till I felt atheist was the best label for my views.

That wasn't to hard to find  ;)

Quote from: Whitney on July 10, 2006, 10:17:11 AM
I figured this is a good as place as any to introduce myself by explaining why I'm an atheist.  I haven't written it all out yet, so here is my story up to when I officially became agnostic, call it part one or whatever:

I was raised as a christian...believed it blindly (like a child till I was in my pre-teens).  Then became what is referred to in some denominations as born again (I grew up presbyterian and they didn't use that term).  I accepted god with all my heart and felt we had a relationship...I was somewhat of an evangelical but not a fundamentalist.  I believed that God used evolution to create all the life we see today.  I did however think the flood story was probably true, but mainly because I had no reason to think otherwise at that time...true or not, I saw it as a story of god's loving forgiveness and how he gave us a second chance.

That made sense to me for a while, I was able to look over anything bad in the bible because 1) I hadn't really read much of it and 2) I viewed most of the bible as stories which were written to teach a lesson, even if I currently didn't understand the lesson.  I started to view it as my christian duty to actually read the bible because doing so would allow me to bring more people to god.  The more I read the less I started to view the bible as a holy text.  My thoughts towards christianity changed from it being the one true religion to that maybe all religions were correct.  I remained a chrsitian because it worked for me but quit worrying about if others believed the same.  I started viewing jesus more as a symbolic teacher than a savior...although I couldn't have put that into words at the time.  At this point I thought about converting to Judaism but knew that was a very time consuming process and decided god wouldn't care what religion I was anyway.

My pluralistic view of religion led to me not being that concerned about going to church anymore as an obligation to god...I continued going because I like to participate in choir and had some friends there.  My childhood church started breaking up over a monetary dispute (old people wanted to keep the building for sentimental reasons even though it was falling apart, the younger crowd wanted to sell it and build a new building).  I tried joining one of my classmate's churches but soon found my friends at that church were only my friends in church....so the appeal of going to church soon wore off and I quit going.  I was about to go off to college anyway.

So, I get to college.  Well, I forgot to explain what brought me to a pluralistic view of religion...so I'll explain here rather than going back and editing.  At some point I realized that there are a lot more religions in the world other than christians and that each of those religions had people who believed just as deeply and behaved just as morally as christians.  Seeing all these good people, I couldn't imagine a loving god sending them to hell just for not following a particular religion.  So, I decided that all religions, weird to me or not, must be valid paths.  So, back to being in college...I didn't think that much about religion for a couple years.  My current bf and I would have the occasional late night chat centering around if there isn't a god how could anything exist.  Through remembering our discussions I realize that's when I started becoming agnostic.  During those times I'd still try to talk to god and seek guidance...maybe more as a way to self-contemplation that seeking divine guidance, after all I knew not to expect a verbal or obvious reply.  I was never one to actually ask god for things anyway, I figured he was too busy trying to help those in more need than I, but I did occasionally ask..didn't pay much attention to if I got an answer or not...prayer had always been somewhat symbolic to me anyway.

Anyway...I had a deep faith in god even though I questioned...I had to have faith...how else could anything be here?  The universe didn't just poof out of thin air.  But then...how did god get there?  These questions puzzled me...so I started searching for an answer.  My search led me to discussing in some christian chat rooms...none of them or other religious people in those rooms had a very good answer other than god always existed.  It's fine to believe that way, but it didn't really answer my question.   Being in those rooms also gave me my first interactions with atheists.  Needless to say, atheist who hang out in christian chat rooms aren't typically very nice so the way I was taught to view atheists was only further enhanced (atheists are mean, immoral etc).  It wasn't until I met my bf and some of his friends that I started to realize that atheists can and often are good people too.  It is important to point out here that my bf never tried to make me an atheist, I only knew his beliefs from my best friend letting me know he was an atheist, we didn't even discuss religion until I had some questions about atheists I wanted him to answer.  The big question was...where did everything come from?  I don't remember him actually giving me an answer, I think he must have realized the importance of me searching on my own.  I also didn't want to start much of a religious discussion with him because I know that can ruin young relationships.

So, I started reading.  I think I may have thumbed through a couple books he had on the shelf (he has a lot being a philosophy major).  I decided to go to the bookstore to see what sort of books I could find dealing with the god question...so when I found "the question of god" it seemed like a good one...it really helped me put my thoughts together on god.  In the book it compared the writings of C.S. Lewis to Freud.  I will say that it's not the best book comparing the two 'sides' I actually didn't agree with a lot either had to say.  What's interesting looking back is that I wrote little notes next to things in the book...what I was thinking.  If anyone is interested I can try to find the book and type some of my notes into the forum.  Anyway, that book is what made me realize that my beliefs had changed to pure agnosticism...I didn't know if god was real or not and saw no way to answer the question.

I guess that gets through explaining mostly why I'm not religious anymore (I'm sure I left some things out).  It doesn't really answer why I'm an atheist now, but I've grown tired of typing....so, to be continued.

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

Never a theist. No need to de-convert  ;D
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Asmodean

Not a convert. Asmos have a natural immunity to religion.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

orangemoon

I'm not actually converted yet... lol.

I made an introduction post some months ago and got sidetracked by life, but I'm back and I just want to be apart of a community that is sane. I think that I'm in the agnostic realm but I keep asking myself why I'm scared to just go for it and completely be atheist.

My story is very much like Radiant's in the sense that I grew up with religion and it was apart of my life for a long time - even though since a very young age I've always thought there was something not quite right with it.

It's very hard to un-train myself. To not "thank god", or "pray to god" during times when I need hope. It's just habit. 29 years of habit that I'm trying to unlearn...
"Need is not quite belief." -Anne Sexton, With Mercy for the Greedy

Asmodean

Do you really need hope, or do you just want it?
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

orangemoon

Quote from: Asmodean on January 27, 2012, 10:40:00 AM
Do you really need hope, or do you just want it?

Both I guess. What I'm learning is that I don't need a god figure to get that hope. Hope comes when I naturally apply reason and logic... and it's much, much better than relying on an unknown, magical source.
"Need is not quite belief." -Anne Sexton, With Mercy for the Greedy

Harmonie

Quote from: Thunder Road on January 27, 2012, 07:27:11 AM
Oh and not really related to the topic at all but I always get excited when I see female members joining (partly because most of the outspoken atheists are male and there is little representation from the female side) but mostly because on a Lutheran campus like where I am I haven't met a single girl who isn't outspokenly Christian yet and let's face it, I'm gettin' lonely over here.  The only reason I bring this up is because I lol'd when I read that you identify with the LGBT community and I was like "well, easy come, easy go". 

Now what exactly do you mean by that?

Icon Image by Cherubunny on Tumblr
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

Tank

Quote from: Radiant on January 27, 2012, 03:11:01 PM
Quote from: Thunder Road on January 27, 2012, 07:27:11 AM
Oh and not really related to the topic at all but I always get excited when I see female members joining (partly because most of the outspoken atheists are male and there is little representation from the female side) but mostly because on a Lutheran campus like where I am I haven't met a single girl who isn't outspokenly Christian yet and let's face it, I'm gettin' lonely over here.  The only reason I bring this up is because I lol'd when I read that you identify with the LGBT community and I was like "well, easy come, easy go". 

Now what exactly do you mean by that?
Let me guess. He liked the idea of a chatting up a girl, only to find out she was a lesbian?  :-[ That's what I took it to mean. Mind you, LGBT does include bi-sexual so he still could be in luck!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Harmonie

#14
Quote from: Tank on January 27, 2012, 03:22:42 PM
Quote from: Radiant on January 27, 2012, 03:11:01 PM
Quote from: Thunder Road on January 27, 2012, 07:27:11 AM
Oh and not really related to the topic at all but I always get excited when I see female members joining (partly because most of the outspoken atheists are male and there is little representation from the female side) but mostly because on a Lutheran campus like where I am I haven't met a single girl who isn't outspokenly Christian yet and let's face it, I'm gettin' lonely over here.  The only reason I bring this up is because I lol'd when I read that you identify with the LGBT community and I was like "well, easy come, easy go".  

Now what exactly do you mean by that?
Let me guess. He liked the idea of a chatting up a girl, only to find out she was a lesbian?  :-[ That's what I took it to mean. Mind you, LGBT does include bi-sexual so he still could be in luck!

Oh, duh! This is probably why I fail at socializing and getting dates.  :-[

But, no, I'm not bisexual. I used to think I was, but you just can't convince yourself that you are something that you simply aren't.

Icon Image by Cherubunny on Tumblr
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony