Happy Atheist Forum

Difficulties in being atheist?

Will

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« Reply #30 on: August 01, 2007, 06:46:14 PM »
Quote from: "tigerlily46514"
PLus, I am a nurse, so 'god' comes up a LOT when people are sick.  Priest and ministers all running around everywhere, etc, interrupting your work to pray over people,etc.   I am pretty good at honoring what the patient says without selling out, tho.  They never know.  But, day after day, it can make me feel a tiny bit isolated philosophically anyway!!!!  

I can relate to that. I work for what is essentially a religious non-profit that helps less fortunate people. I took the job to help people, but prayer in board meetings gets my goat a little. I just sit there and wait for them to finish.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Will »
I want bad people to look forward to and celebrate the day I die, because if they don't, I'm not living up to my potential.

Tom62

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« Reply #31 on: August 01, 2007, 07:15:51 PM »
SteveS, in the film the Exorcist there was also a lot of puking. Maybe the chaplain thought that your children were the anti-christs. :)
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Tom62 »
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

SteveS

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« Reply #32 on: August 01, 2007, 11:57:48 PM »
Quote from: "MommaSquid"
SteveS, I think you handled the situation with the chaplain exactly right. She was intruding on you, not the other way around.

I'm glad the health crisis turned out OK. Hug your kids extra tight tonight.
Thanks MommaSquid - yup, I'll hug them extra - I'm lucky, they're really good kids.  Although, sometimes,

Quote from: "Tom62"
Maybe the chaplain thought that your children were the anti-christs.

I have wondered that as well!

 :wink:
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by SteveS »

(No subject)
« Reply #33 on: August 02, 2007, 04:46:46 AM »
Quote from: "Tom62"
SteveS, in the film the Exorcist there was also a lot of puking. Maybe the chaplain thought that your children were the anti-christs. :)


Some some of my friends that have similar movie interests as I said it wasn't too bad...

It sucked! I bought it, half way through I was think how much of a dissapointment it was...same at end.

I want my money back! haha Thats one flick I will probably never watch again if I can avoid it.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tacoma_kyle »
Me, my projects and random pictures, haha.

http://s116.photobucket.com/albums/o22/tacoma_kyle/

"Tom you gotta come out of the closet, oh my gawd!" lol

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« Reply #34 on: August 06, 2007, 05:36:13 PM »
I'm always saying it would be easier to believe... you'd have built-in friends at a church, plenty of people to babysit your kids, a happy-go-lucky attitude toward life because god is always taking care of things for you... <sigh>  At least that's how a good friend of mine is.  Her life seems so easy because she can shut off her brain and just go with the religious flow.

For me, the hardest thing is not having that built-in treasure trove of like minds around me.  Believers tend to wear their belief like a badge of honor, but non-believers tend to just keep their mouths shut... esp. nowadays with the fear of the believers so evident.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by rlrose328 »
**Kerri**
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« Reply #35 on: August 07, 2007, 02:57:31 AM »
Hell yeah its easier. Thats why they all tend to be happier, they dont have to think about jack shit! Heh, not quite, but sure as heck true.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tacoma_kyle »
Me, my projects and random pictures, haha.

http://s116.photobucket.com/albums/o22/tacoma_kyle/

"Tom you gotta come out of the closet, oh my gawd!" lol

(No subject)
« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2007, 09:32:02 PM »
OOh, I also believe it WOULD be easier to be religious, to be in the majority.  The one thing i envy of the religious, is the COMMUNITY.  Heck, i might even dress up and show up on Sunday mornings if i had a place to go where i could find like-minded people...  THAT would be cool...

The other thing i might envy a little bit, off and on, is the ACCEPTANCE religious people get, almost everywhere.  However, i gotta add, i am loving this here website and feel some of that.  There were some kind responses to some stuff i have said and i am grateful.  LOVE THE FUNNY ONES TOO!!
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tigerlily46514 »
"religious groups should stay out of politics-OR BE TAXED."

~jean
"Once you explain why you dismiss all other possible gods-- i'll explain why i dismiss your god."

Thank Dog for Common Ground!!!!!
« Reply #37 on: August 11, 2007, 04:20:53 AM »
Quote from: "tigerlily46514"
I am 50, and definately think there have been times it was hard to be an atheist.  I was in my 40s when i met my first other atheist!!!  Stnning, but true!!!  But where i live, we mostly stay in the closet, so who knows? I think things are better now, I'd like to think atheism is more accepted.  I was 'out' when i ws younger, but too many attacks have quieted me down long ago.
       I am mostly in the closet except to my sweetie(also atheist! score!) and my best friends.  I learned the hard way I can be criticized if I don't hide my atheism...It is just so not worth the waste of breath to take on THE ATTACKS....I even have lost a friend, dumped me the day I told her!  I was surprized, cuz she was otherwise really cool.  Yeah, I find it hard to hear a buncha crap and have to keep my mouth shut, always trying to find someneutral remark that doesn't betray my own self.....
  Seems younger people today are braver than I am.  Very encouraging!!!!!!!!
PLus, I am a nurse, so 'god' comes up a LOT when people are sick.  Priest and ministers all running around everywhere, etc, interrupting your work to pray over people,etc.   I am pretty good at honoring what the patient says without selling out, tho.  They never know.  But, day after day, it can make me feel a tiny bit isolated philosophically anyway!!!!  

tigerlily;
I am almost too excited to write this. As a 53 year old nurse who has always been an atheist, I have never (on forums or in everyday life) met another person who is my age, in nursing, and openly atheist. The nonbeliever forums tend to have mainly younger people as members, and nursing tends to have people who are either religious or are uncomfortable admitting to being nonbelievers.  

I have the same experience you describe with shamans coming around to minister to the people I am caring for. There is an unspoken expectation that all on the scene at my hospital unit will treat the clergy (or their unordained minions) with servitude and exaggerated respect. Since I view them as both symbols and operatives of destructive institutions, this is very hard to do.

After growing up in the 50s/60s and weathering all the decades since, I have been very disappointed by the weakening of the impetus that started in the 60s to value the rights of those who do not believe. It seems to me that most of the people in our age group, even those who espoused skepticism or nonbelief as young adults, drifted back to claiming membership in (or at least respectful tolerance of) one religion or another. I can't figure out whether they are lying now, were lying when they were younger, or are just plain scared they have backed the wrong horse and are placing their bet on the safer one.

Like you, I married a nonreligious person and we know a number of agnostic and atheist folks. But even in the supposedly ultra-liberal area of the US where we live, open atheism is not a safe thing.

It's GREAT to "meet" you and read what you have to say! I was already really enjoying the many erudite posters who write on this forum; HAF is warmly welcoming to unbelievers. I'm glad I drop in.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Reasoner »
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those who are in touch with it."- Lily Tomlin

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« Reply #38 on: August 11, 2007, 05:22:36 AM »
Dear Reasoner,
wow, i am STOKED to meet a sister atheist nurse in my age group too!!  THIS IS A FIRST!!!  I know you DO know what i am talking about!  I totally knew what you meant about the exaggerated respect the ministers and priests get, they don't even have a chance to see what real people experience as they are so treated like kings or something when they show up.

i wish i could claim i AM "out" but i am not.  It isn't worth the wrath of my coworkers and the pt's fams etc....I am only out to my closest friends.  Atheism isn't accepted AT ALL here, let alone even vaguely understood...
i hear ya, about the decline of what DID seem to be a growing tolerance of alternative viewpoints back in the 60s.....what DID happen there?.....i guess that would be another thread..... i DO know what you mean.

ARE YOU "OUT" AT YOUR JOB?
kudos to you if you are, you are braver than me!!!!!

I'm kinda surprized how most members here do NOT even mention their state....?
I guess i am "out" on the internet, anyway!  
SO GLAD TO KNOW THERE IS ONE OTHER NURSE ATHEIST!!  Oh, what a treat to meet you!!
Are YOUR co-workers as religious as mine?  It is simpley breathtaking at MY job how often religion comes up where I work.....
~jean
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tigerlily46514 »
"religious groups should stay out of politics-OR BE TAXED."

~jean
"Once you explain why you dismiss all other possible gods-- i'll explain why i dismiss your god."

(No subject)
« Reply #39 on: August 11, 2007, 10:41:06 PM »
tigerlily;
A few of my co-workers know for a definite fact I am atheist; nearly all of them, however, know that I am not religious. I live in a supposedly progressive area, but open godlessness has become just as incorrect here as it is in most of the country. I am certainly closer to being "out" on the job than any other nurse I have known. It's probably mainly my advanced age that gives me the nerve to state my position; I am simply tired of accepting the idea that being godless negates one's right to religious freedom.

Indiana, of course, is probably a lot less safe for atheists than where I live. A few years ago, I had to take a business trip (it's a long story) to Indiana to orient with the other nurse in the company I worked for. He lives in West Lafayette, where the company has an office. He is a hard core fundamentalist christian; there are fan pictures of Christ in his office. Those fan pics are something you would be unlikely to see in a corporate office in Boston.

I work with a mixture of recent immigrants and native US baby-boomers. All of them seem to tolerate the mention of God in the work environment, and most seem to encourage it. It is hard to describe how much I yearn for an environment where people keep their belief in god to themselves. I cannot even imagine a workplace where the other agnostics and atheists were "out".

One of the things that really gets to me about our generation is that I know for a fact that the educated ones have been exposed to too much of history and scientific knowledge to fully buy God. That is why twenty or thirty years ago many of them talked in at least agnostic terms themselves. Now, they seem to have complete amnesia about what they learned and how they have questioned belief in the past. They don't talk as if they thought it out and decided to believe; they talk as if their earlier attitude never existed. A lot of them seem to think it is taboo to talk directly about the question of belief at all.

I have looked on nursing discussion forums for threads about atheism or agnosticism. The few threads I have found talk mainly about the fact that very few health care workplaces are completely non-religious, even when they are theoretically "public". The only time I have seen statements by a nurse who admits to being atheist, the nurse was a much younger person than you and I.

Still, I refuse to accept that there are almost no atheists in nursing, and very few atheists of any background who are middle-aged. I think that for a lot of reasons, most of them just aren't talking.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Reasoner »
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those who are in touch with it."- Lily Tomlin

(No subject)
« Reply #40 on: August 12, 2007, 12:19:10 AM »
Yeah, Reasoner, there MUST be more than just you and I!!!

 I know what you mean about some of our generation switching horses....it does make one wonder how they were able to re-shrink their minds...??  Honestly, i didn't know any other atheists even as a young person, I knew a precious few agnostics....okay, it was two.  And they both are religious nowadays..  

And I am so happy to see how atheism is more prevalent in the younger generations now, see, I don't really remember it being this way even when i was young.  I didn't really know any others.  I like to think it is becoming more accepted.  

I was more "out" as a younger person, but years of hostile reactions have quieted me down.  I can only hope with each passing generation, it becomes a bit easier for the atheists. i realize as long as we do not come out, the change towards acceptance will be much slower, and I am trying to get the courage to help be a drop in the wave of change...to come out a bit more, even outside of work.  

I thought it was brave i even list my hometown on the internet...I am taking babysteps, ha ha!!!!

I can only stand in awe of you that you are out as a nurse!!

When i was younger and more out, i was usually the first atheist anyone had ever met! or even heard of!  Imagine the flack i got....Now, i think many people have at least become aware there ARE atheists out there, even if they haven't met one.

We had no internet then, I was so alone with it all my life.  It is probably mind blowing to young people here that i was in my 40s when i met my first other atheist.  I almost cried, i kid you not.  (Okay, i did cry...)

I am trying to undo the decades of hostile reactions and slowly be a little more out when appropriate, and I am a fairly brave person, but mmm mmm, I am not much out at all.  My co-workers are aware i am 'not religious' but that is about all they know.  (Except for one, who is my best friend.)


YOU ARE RIGHT--INDIANA IS NOT A REAL SAFE PLACE FOR AN ATHEIST!  I have lived all over the country, some very liberal states, too, but this is probably one of the more backward places i've lived..but, the corn IS good here!!!!  There is always a bright side....ha ha.
OOH-LOOK--It says "chatter" under my name now......?  Guess that DOES fit, huh!!  ha ha!
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tigerlily46514 »
"religious groups should stay out of politics-OR BE TAXED."

~jean
"Once you explain why you dismiss all other possible gods-- i'll explain why i dismiss your god."

(No subject)
« Reply #41 on: August 12, 2007, 03:02:47 AM »
Quote from: "tigerlily46514"
Yeah, Reasoner, there MUST be more than just you and I!!!

 I know what you mean about some of our generation switching horses....it does make one wonder how they were able to re-shrink their minds...??  Honestly, i didn't know any other atheists even as a young person, I knew a precious few agnostics....okay, it was two.  And they both are religious nowadays..  

And I am so happy to see how atheism is more prevalent in the younger generations now, see, I don't really remember it being this way even when i was young.  I didn't really know any others.  I like to think it is becoming more accepted.  

I was more "out" as a younger person, but years of hostile reactions have quieted me down.  I can only hope with each passing generation, it becomes a bit easier for the atheists. i realize as long as we do not come out, the change towards acceptance will be much slower, and I am trying to get the courage to help be a drop in the wave of change...to come out a bit more, even outside of work.  

I thought it was brave i even list my hometown on the internet...I am taking babysteps, ha ha!!!!

I can only stand in awe of you that you are out as a nurse!!

When i was younger and more out, i was usually the first atheist anyone had ever met! or even heard of!  Imagine the flack i got....Now, i think many people have at least become aware there ARE atheists out there, even if they haven't met one.

We had no internet then, I was so alone with it all my life.  It is probably mind blowing to young people here that i was in my 40s when i met my first other atheist.  I almost cried, i kid you not.  (Okay, i did cry...)

I am trying to undo the decades of hostile reactions and slowly be a little more out when appropriate, and I am a fairly brave person, but mmm mmm, I am not much out at all.  My co-workers are aware i am 'not religious' but that is about all they know.  (Except for one, who is my best friend.)


YOU ARE RIGHT--INDIANA IS NOT A REAL SAFE PLACE FOR AN ATHEIST!  I have lived all over the country, some very liberal states, too, but this is probably one of the more backward places i've lived..but, the corn IS good here!!!!  There is always a bright side....ha ha.
OOH-LOOK--It says "chatter" under my name now......?  Guess that DOES fit, huh!!  ha ha!

By way of seeing the bright side of Indiana, tigerlily, I have to say that when I visited there I found people friendlier and more forthcoming than any other place I have visited. When I looked even slightly puzzled standing in stores or restaurants, complete strangers walked right up to help me (not only people on the staffs of the stores or restaurants). There is definitely an upside to anyplace you might happen to visit or live.

Regarding the backing off of our generation from any sense of skepticism about religion, I am quite sure that the skeptics have merely gone underground. While I don't understand why they were so easily intimidated, I do believe that people like you and I (and as you say, there have to be quite a few of us) can be encouraged to become more vocal when the environment becomes more amenable.

I'm far from a cockeyed optimist, but I feel encouraged.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Reasoner »
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those who are in touch with it."- Lily Tomlin

(No subject)
« Reply #42 on: August 12, 2007, 07:09:09 AM »
Not to interupt your conversing, but at work (hospital pharmacy---tech, so its kinda related)  which is in Southern Oregon --- pretty damn religious.

But the stereo was on in the pharmacy, someone elses CD (my stuff would freak some out lol. Wont play Manson though, may get me in trouble.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by tacoma_kyle »
Me, my projects and random pictures, haha.

http://s116.photobucket.com/albums/o22/tacoma_kyle/

"Tom you gotta come out of the closet, oh my gawd!" lol

(No subject)
« Reply #43 on: August 12, 2007, 07:20:44 AM »
I'm "out" to everyone who knows me, including my mom (which is a chore because her memory is deteriorating, so once or twice a year, we go through it YET AGAIN when I mention atheism and I get "Kerri, YOU'RE not an ATHEIST, are you???!").

I told a few moms at my son's school when he was in Kindergarten (he'll be in 2nd in a few weeks), mainly because one woman wouldn't let it go when she asked what church I go to and I said I didn't.  I wasn't GOING to publicize it, but after she gave me flyers for her church, I had to say it.  Needless to say, it spread throughout the parents at the school.  Some people were curious, but by and large, I've not been treated differently.

It did make me feel strange when the first question I was asked wasn't "What preschool did you go to?" or "What is your son's birthday?" but "What church do you attend?" by most parents.  Like that will label who and what I am to the nth degree.  Gee willikers!
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by rlrose328 »
**Kerri**
The Rogue Atheist Scrapbooker
Come visit me on Facebook!


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« Reply #44 on: August 13, 2007, 02:33:35 AM »
Quote from: "tacoma_kyle"
Not to interupt your conversing, but at work (hospital pharmacy---tech, so its kinda related)  which is in Southern Oregon --- pretty damn religious.

But the stereo was on in the pharmacy, someone elses CD (my stuff would freak some out lol. Wont play Manson though, may get me in trouble.

Turning down someone else's music is pretty rude, but I suppose they could claim that the work environment should not have anything but ultra-safe music on. That incident is a good example, though, of the kind of conservativism that seems to rule right now. It's been giving me the creeps for some time.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Reasoner »
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those who are in touch with it."- Lily Tomlin