Happy Atheist Forum

Funerals

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« Reply #15 on: January 28, 2008, 05:23:23 PM »
That made a lot of sense. Thanks for your insight, McQ.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Smarmy Of One »

Bella

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« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2008, 09:11:52 AM »
I went to my first funeral ever last year. My bf's friend (also a casual friend of mine) had died of a heart attack. Oh yes, all of the tears stopped as the dumbass minister kept going on about god and crap (our friend had been and Athiest, as well as myself, my bf, and most of our/ his friends). It was all for the guy's family... but it was just so... lame. The tears stopped and everyone was ready to get on to the REAL remembering. I wanted to stab myself in the eye to get out of there.

The wake was much better. Friends gathered around to get drunk and make a video of everyone talking about their memories of Matt.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Bella »

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« Reply #17 on: February 04, 2008, 10:50:20 PM »
Add my condolences to your list.  I'm sorry for your loss.

I went to a funeral last week.  The woman was a dear friend of ours and had battled cancer for about 6 months.  She was a deeply religious person, but also very down to earth.  She was a big planner and organizer, so it wasn't a surprise when we went to the funeral and she'd planned out how she wanted it to go and what priests to invite.  I didn't attend the wake the day before, so that might have been another story, but the funeral went well.  The priest did his funeral mass thing and then introduced her dad for the eulogy.  He told us that his daughter instructed him to not give "any of that normal boring eulogy stuff."  :)  So he told a couple of nice, funny stories about her, and talked a little about her last days.  The priest who finished her funeral mass ticked me off in praying the normal "please forgive any sins that she may have not confessed."  She was one of the kindest and most generous people I knew!  I just wanted to yell at him and say "What?  You think she robbed a bank in the WEEK since she had her last confession?  While on her death bed, maybe she was secretly coveting her neighbor's house, car, and husband.  What a complete and utter load of crap!"  They'd given her communion every day.  SUPPOSEDLY that's supposed to protect a person from the temptation to sin.  *letting it go*

The reception was probably the hardest part for me in the context of being an atheist.  She was one of the primary people who influenced my spirituality, so I was surrounded by people that still held the same devotion.  I was the camouflaged black sheep.  Since I was all emotional still, I felt conflicted.  The first thing one of my friends said after we'd hugged, etc, was "so what are you giving up for Lent?"  Lent is early this year - Ash Wednesday is THIS week!  (I asked my husband why it was so early and he told me it was the second week after the full moon after the winter equinox, or something like that.  My first thought was "sounds just like an ancient myth.")  After gaping at her for a second, I told her I wasn't sure.  I wasn't about to come out to her at a funeral reception!  I still felt weird about it.  The rest of the reception was the same - playing the part out of respect for the dead friend's family.  

I'm kinda embarrassed to admit it, but I actually prayed to my deceased friend and/or God and asked for a specific sign that she would have done to show God's existence.  Of course, nothing happened, and that actually helped me cauterize off that emotional wound that was making me doubt logic and reason.  Once I did that, the rest of the grieving process became much easier and my confusion evaporated.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Sophie »
Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there.  -- Robert A Heinlein, Job: A Comedy of Justice

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« Reply #18 on: February 05, 2008, 01:39:23 PM »
Thanks for the comments, Bella and Sophie.

As we all know, the church (any church) prays upon our weakness at times of grief. They want to get a strangle hold on you and what better time then when we are grieving?

I think that's why I always end up getting so angry at funeral masses. I feel like I am stuck at a time-share pitch or watching an infomercial about Jesus for an hour. The religions are so callously self serving it is criminal.
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Smarmy Of One »

(No subject)
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2008, 10:13:27 PM »
I have made arrangements to have my body donated to science.  That way I can still be useful to mankind by helping doctors to be better doctors, eliminate the cost of a funeral, and avoid all that stress for people.  After two years the medical place will cremate what is left of me and put me in the donors plot on campus.  Clean and easy !!!
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by josh »

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« Reply #20 on: February 14, 2008, 06:10:38 PM »
Quote
I have made arrangements to have my body donated to science. That way I can still be useful to mankind by helping doctors to be better doctors, eliminate the cost of a funeral, and avoid all that stress for people. After two years the medical place will cremate what is left of me and put me in the donors plot on campus. Clean and easy !!!


That is a great thing you're doing. It's funny that lots of christians, especially catholics are really against donating your body to science. They have a resentment to the living while they revere the deceased and not yet born.  :roll:
« Last Edit: January 01, 1970, 01:00:00 AM by Smarmy Of One »