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Getting To Know You => Laid Back Lounge => Topic started by: No one on August 03, 2022, 05:16:52 PM

Title: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: No one on August 03, 2022, 05:16:52 PM
Be on the lookout for this charlatan
(https://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/202553/87227883.jpg)
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on August 03, 2022, 06:35:05 PM
I'm betting his tank is empty.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Tank on August 03, 2022, 07:28:20 PM
It's my kid brother!
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: No one on August 03, 2022, 07:44:14 PM
Are his initials MPV?
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Asmodean on August 03, 2022, 09:32:14 PM
A person of class, style and distinction, obviously. :smilenod:

...Too bad we have like zero custom car culture over here :-(
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: No one on August 03, 2022, 09:54:05 PM
Be there first, make then all tremble!
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: hermes2015 on August 04, 2022, 04:56:12 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on August 03, 2022, 09:32:14 PMA person of class, style and distinction, obviously. :smilenod:

...Too bad we have like zero custom car culture over here :-(

:lol:

Same here, thank goodness.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Magdalena on August 04, 2022, 06:23:40 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on August 03, 2022, 09:32:14 PMA person of class, style and distinction, obviously. :smilenod:

...Too bad we have like zero custom car culture over here :-(

I believe the terrain doesn't help.
:notsure:

Lowrider in the snow.
Yeah...no. I don't think they mix.



You guys could have Seasonal Custom Car Culture.  ;)
(https://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/thumbs/snow-car.jpeg?auto=webp)
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Asmodean on August 04, 2022, 01:17:51 PM
Quote from: Magdalena on August 04, 2022, 06:23:40 AMYou guys could have Seasonal Custom Car Culture.  ;)
(https://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/thumbs/snow-car.jpeg?auto=webp)

That's not a car! That's... that... That's one of them Smart abominations, only with high heels. The Asmo ought to smite it with an snow plough. In fact, He's going to get himself such a plough, se if He does not!  :rant1:

On an serious note, the Landship(tm) is not doing too badly, actually. I've done far worse with far newer cars on studded tyres. I suspect its vast size and weight help it up to the point where they become a detriment, so if you set yourself up in such a way that the car is controllable past that point... Could do worse than that thing. Could have a Smart, for instance. As wide as it is long, with zero lateral stability.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: billy rubin on August 04, 2022, 01:18:56 PM
you dont consider the smart cars to be stylish and forward thinking?
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: No one on August 04, 2022, 02:20:55 PM
They're about as stylish as blind hatred.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Asmodean on August 04, 2022, 02:50:43 PM
Quote from: No one on August 04, 2022, 02:20:55 PMThey're about as stylish as blind hatred.
How DARE you! Hatred is one of the most stylish, pure emotions, only two-steps removed from grumpiness!

...No, He doth not like Smart cars. Roadsters are... Mmmh... Less unacceptable though. The Asmo gets a irrational urge to smite when He sees an Smart fortwo though, and a rational urge to smite when He's stuck behind one.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: billy rubin on August 04, 2022, 03:07:13 PM
why?
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: No one on August 04, 2022, 05:31:18 PM
Because reasons.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Asmodean on August 05, 2022, 06:43:43 AM
Quote from: billy rubin on August 04, 2022, 03:07:13 PMwhy?
They are among the most unstable cars you could drive. They go from boring to scary, skipping fun.

They are also (quite subjectively speaking) ugly, slow and impractical.

Many flaws - no redeeming features.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Tank on August 05, 2022, 08:12:47 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on August 05, 2022, 06:43:43 AM
Quote from: billy rubin on August 04, 2022, 03:07:13 PMwhy?
They are among the most unstable cars you could drive. They go from boring to scary, skipping fun.

They are also (quite subjectively speaking) ugly, slow and impractical.

Many flaws - no redeeming features.

They can park where no other car can.  :nanana
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Asmodean on August 05, 2022, 08:18:21 AM
Quote from: Tank on August 05, 2022, 08:12:47 AMThey can park where no other car can.  :nanana
Better cars can park wherever they can. Toyota IQ - glorified washing machine though it is, and only marginally better than the Smart. VW UP! family. A whole host of Japanese city runabouts. A fair number of French nonsense. That not even getting into all sorts of motorbicycles and ATVs (Which handle about as well on the road, but can have a roof, a entertainment system and climate control - and leave the paved surface, should the need arise)

Smart fortwo is for carrying interns from home to office. Except of course said interns are broke and so they take the bus. It's pointless.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Tank on August 05, 2022, 08:22:48 AM
Bad Tank! Mustn't troll the scourge of Luxembourg!  :argue:
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Asmodean on August 05, 2022, 08:25:36 AM
The Asmo shall SMITE a Smart car, see if He shall not. In fact, He shall rain destruction upon Luxembourg in the form of Smart cars raining from the skies and there will be explosions and squishes and splats and wailing and gnashing of teeth! FEAR HIS WRATH!!11!1!ONE11! :rant1:
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Tank on August 05, 2022, 08:37:53 AM
 :rofl:  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: billy rubin on August 05, 2022, 03:09:27 PM
little cars often have weird and dustinctive styling. sometimes ugly is popular.

(https://i.imgur.com/4A8exwTl.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/USNYHBil.jpg)

not ^^^here tho
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: billy rubin on August 05, 2022, 04:06:15 PM
but these did okay

(https://i.imgur.com/dMf2PQel.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/W9ZIHrll.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/UlOdCxml.jpg)
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Ecurb Noselrub on August 05, 2022, 04:25:59 PM
I have to agree with Asmo. A Smart car is basically screaming out "Run Over Me!!!"  It is a target. If you want to be small, get on a motorcycle. At least you have a fighting chance, and people are a bit intimidated by you. A Smart car is begging to have sand kicked in its face.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: No one on August 05, 2022, 05:31:43 PM
I'll take a RWD snarling V8 that I have to park 2 blocks away over a tiny little commuter without hesitation. Every. Single. Time.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Icarus on August 06, 2022, 12:21:46 AM
I once had a BMW Isetta.  And I have worked on a Messerschmidt Kabinroller. Both were useable in those days but not very safe in dense traffic where drivers of big ass Buicks are in a hurry, as they often are.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: billy rubin on August 06, 2022, 01:04:18 AM
those were both classics.

but the smart car is also not a protective mode of transport. still, i used to split lanes to work every day in the san francisco rush hour traffic, so safety is all relative
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Icarus on August 07, 2022, 02:05:52 AM
Splitting lanes has some hazards. Bubba types who chew tobacco and spit, dumbasses who open a door, tidy types who throw out the remains of their beverage, and a few other ways to come to grief.  I have split plenty of lanes in my day. Miraculously, I am still alive.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: billy rubin on August 07, 2022, 02:16:32 AM
lol

yes

somehow we survived

no traffic anymore where i live. if i die it will likely be no ones fault but my own
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Dark Lightning on August 07, 2022, 03:50:36 AM
Just plain "luck", whatever that is. I used to drive mountain roads at speeds far above the posted limits, racing other "young, dumb and full of cum" individuals", myself. I've slid off the road into rocks, slid off the road and stopped before falling off 500+ foot drops, slid off the road and down steep embankments, driven on US 1 at speeds exceeding 120 MPH past farmers pulling out of their fields onto the road, etc. Lucky. One memory stands out as a real test of my luck. I was driving my '66 LeMans with a Ram Air III 400 Cu In engine, big cam, headers, blah blah. Nevada, 1975, when the national speed limit was 55, and I was doing 143 MPH, passing everything "in my way". I had retread tires, and tubes in the rear tires. #luckynottobedead The engine gave up the ghost, and I rolled to a stop, with the radiator heaving steam like a teapot. I must have passed 50 vehicles, but maybe 12 passed before the Nevada Highway Patrol rolled up and asked if I needed help. (yeah, they knew this nut was out there) I told them that it had just overheated, and once it cooled off, I'd be on my way. I had no water to refill the cooling system, and when I started it back up, so many rods were knocking that I just shut it off, and my friend and I started walking, with our thumbs out. All those people I passed just drove right by. :lol: We finally got a ride in the back of a pickup into a burg called Goldfield, where I called my sister, who lived in Idaho. She and her husband came down with a truck and a tow bar, and towed it to their place. Should have just left it in the Nevada desert, it would have been cheaper. Those retread rear tires with tubes in them...I'm still amazed that they didn't simply disintegrate at that speed. Losing a rear tire at that kind of speed, even going straight, is a sure disaster. Good times!
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Icarus on August 08, 2022, 02:15:54 AM
We studly types have done some stupid shit in our day.  Billy is still doing it with his LSR passion. I may even claim the title of dumbass of the year for some of my youthful lapses of survival judgement. Most of them involved a motorcycle, a few involved racing hydroplanes or other floating objects, at speed.

Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Dark Lightning on August 08, 2022, 02:47:42 AM
Heh, here's another stupid moment. I was riding my motorcycle on a winding back road, and came up behind one of my neighbors, because I was driving stupid fast. Stupid, because it was a Harley, and a winding road, to boot. He sped up, and the race was on! We came around a curve, and he slowed way down. I had driven this stretch many times, but I was focused on speed, and didn't realize that this was where the road dropped about 20 feet in about 50 feet, and curved right, all at the same time. I passed him, because he had slowed way down. I ended up on the other side of the road, then into the gravel on that side, swerving around and trying to avoid the barbed wire fence. Had I run into that, I'd've been strung out like beef jerky, drying in the sun...
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: billy rubin on August 08, 2022, 05:17:27 AM
i was out on a straight section of highway once in oklahoma

lots of straight sections there

trying to see how fast my motorcycle would go. i was doing about 110 or 115 mph on my triumph when it went into a speedwobble, then a tank slapper, then threw me off. i think it was the shitty cheng shin tire that probably had the wrong pressure.

anyway, the bike slid about 400 feet in a circle of sparks like a catherine wheel, and i went up, down, up, down up and down. slid to a stop in front of four horrified people just getting into their car to go see grandma in the hospital, so they gave me a lift. very nice of them.

lost some skin on that one, and got to meet nurse satan with her iodine-soaked gauze, but the bike was easily fixed, and im looking at it right now 20 feet away. that was 45 years ago, and the motorcycle is faster now than it was then.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Asmodean on August 08, 2022, 07:07:19 AM
Quote from: billy rubin on August 05, 2022, 04:06:15 PM(https://i.imgur.com/dMf2PQel.jpg)
The original Mini was tiny, but, much like the Fiat 500, it had a sort of... Character. Personality, if you will.

The new ones are not that small, but yes, worlds ahead of any Smart car in my book.
Title: Re: The fabricated sham, of dear old Mr. Pam
Post by: Icarus on August 08, 2022, 10:14:17 PM
It was about 1944 during WW2.   A pair of unrelated women lived nearby. They were nice ladies and they owned a tiny little car.  It was a Fiat Topolino of perhaps 1936 or 38 vintage. It could not be driven because it had a busted transmission.  My father and I made a deal with the ladies.  I would cut their grass for an entire summer if they would give us the car. The deal was struck, and we took the little thing to our backyard workshop.

My dad, a skilled machinist, made some new gears to repair the tranny. I drove the car to school after that. I was only 14 but in those days a kid could get a Florida drivers license at 14. The Fiat was tiny, having only two seats, neither of which could quite accommodate a large person. I don't know what displacement the engine was but it was a four cylinder flathead about twice the size of a shoe box. It did get exceptional gas mileage. Good thing it did because gasoline was rationed at the time.