For a time, I got tired of being online. I'd have a browser open, but paid it little attention beyond emails, book sales, and a quick scroll through facebook.
Life's been a bit stressful of late. My new doctor is worried about my liver. It it most probably related to my years of being on low-dose chemo for my autoimmune disease. I had a liver scan Friday and hope to hear the results Monday.
Larry, my husband, has been in and out of the hospital with a variety of symptoms. Various diagnoses have been put forward, but none really fit all that well. Now we have a potential diagnosis that fits all the symptoms - mesothelioma. We have an appointment next Friday to see his doctor. If that is what he has, prognosis is poor with only 40% of patients living past a year.
On the upside, my department at work has a new boss who seems committed to making our lives better. A lot of changes, but most of them seem to be in the right direction.
So, how's life been treating you?
Life's been up and down for me. Recently I cut off a lot of people (mostly who I know online) because they were toxic to my self esteem and identity. I picked a fight with one group because they made it a point to regularly debase and degrade my social standing with them and then tell me I liked it or that it was love and they eventually banned me. I was actually really proud of that moment because I stook up for who I am and not who they wanted me to be. I like to think back on that moment and think to myself about it and the moral I picked up from that was that I never needed them. I never needed anybody.
My feelings go out to you, Velma.
Seems both of you face problems that make even my heart condition seem not so bad. There is a slow deterioration in my physical abilities, partly due to age anyway, but I have, luckily, been otherwise medically and emotionally resilient.
I can only offer you my thoughts and hopes. Take care of yourselves.
So sorry to hear about all the problems, Velma. My fingers are crossed for you and Larry.
Sorry to hear the news, Velma. I hope things turn out the best possible way for you and Larry.
Velma, the things you have to deal with make my tribulations with kidney failure seem insignificant. My only experience with mesothelioma was with the fine gentleman who was captain of HMAS Melbourne when I joined her in 1979. He later was made Admiral and after he retired was made Governor of New South Wales. Subsequently he was diagnosed with mesothelioma and was one of those unfortunate souls who did not last long after diagnosis, as you pointed out. He was a great man, the disease is no respecter of how good a person may be. I hope that Larry's diagnosis is something else, but I understand how frightening the prospect must be. We never know what's coming round the corner, I think we just need to make the most of what time we have, as they say, stop and smell the roses. :love:
Quote from: Velma on June 16, 2018, 06:43:48 AM
So, how's life been treating you?
I sometimes find myself wishing to start again, do better, get it right.
Ha, if regrets could invoke a religion there'd be one with reincarnation.
I hope your love doesn't have meso.
Thanks everyone. Right now we are making plans for the worst case scenario. Financially, I'll be okay. The rest of it, we will deal with as it comes.
Quote from: Velma on June 16, 2018, 06:00:57 PM
Thanks everyone. Right now we are making plans for the worst case scenario. Financially, I'll be okay. The rest of it, we will deal with as it comes.
That cannot be a lot of fun. Sending hugs your way!
Quote from: Bluenose on June 17, 2018, 02:12:45 AM
Quote from: Velma on June 16, 2018, 06:00:57 PM
Thanks everyone. Right now we are making plans for the worst case scenario. Financially, I'll be okay. The rest of it, we will deal with as it comes.
That cannot be a lot of fun. Sending hugs your way!
No it is not fun. However, it is part of getting his affairs in order. He has decided he does not want his family to know until after his death. I'm still trying to decide what to tell mine, although, I doubt I'll tell them right away. I know my family. They will have good intentions, but once they get here, all they will do is try to interfere with the decisions Larry and I have made.
He doesn't want any sort of memorial service. I do not want all the stress of having to plan one. He's donating his body, so I will not even have to worry about that.
Even if it turns out that he doesn't have mesothelioma, it will be good to have discussed all this things again. He is 12 and a half years old than me. Odds are that I will be a widow eventually.
That's terrible news Velms but don't give up, even if the doctors think you should! A cousin of mine had a massive stroke last year caused largely by years of drug use. The doctors wanted to pull life support because of her past substance abuse and the poor chances of any sort of recovery.
The entire family wanted to do the same but her mom kept her on the machines as long as possible. She would've died had the doctors had their way but the extra time gave her body enough time to recover to the point that she could breath on her own.
The doctors then said she would be in a coma for the rest of her life. Two weeks later she opened her eyes. The doctors then said she would never speak. Within a week she was attempting to talk to people.
At this point the doctors should've thrown in the towel in their diagnoses but they said she would never walk. Thanks to the fine care given to her at a hospice in Richmond she is now walking with a cane.
Don't listen to the doctors if they tell you to give up. I don't think any doctors are as smart as most people give them credit for.
All the doctors can do is say is, "This is what you have and here is the typical life expectancy." Knowing him, if it is mesothelioma, he won't be typical. :) However, it is best to be prepared, like the old adage "Hope of the best, prepare for the worst."
Well I hope whatever happens Velma he can get through this soon.
Hi again Velma, my heart goes out to you and your husband. Not easy or fun circumstances to be facing. I'm glad you have each other for this season of life, and I wish you all the best. :hug:
We got some excellent news! Larry does not have mesothelioma. He has asbestosis, a chronic lung disease caused by exposure to asbestos. There is no cure, only treatment and managing symptoms.
We don't blame the primary care doctor for scaring us. Mesothelioma and asbestosis look a lot alike in scan and x-rays. You really need an oncologist with some experience to tell the difference - and I'm sure the oncology department at the VA has a great deal of experience with mesothelioma (whose primary cause is asbestos exposure). So, his pulmonlogist will be handling treatment.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/asbestosis/symptoms-causes/syc-20354637
Quote from: Velma on June 21, 2018, 06:29:25 PM
We got some excellent news! Larry does not have mesothelioma. He has asbestosis, a chronic lung disease caused by exposure to asbestos. There is no cure, only treatment and managing symptoms.
We don't blame the primary care doctor for scaring us. Mesothelioma and asbestosis look a lot alike in scan and x-rays. You really need an oncologist with some experience to tell the difference - and I'm sure the oncology department at the VA has a great deal of experience with mesothelioma (whose primary cause is asbestos exposure). So, his pulmonlogist will be handling treatment.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/asbestosis/symptoms-causes/syc-20354637
Well, that is good, if qualified, news, Velma.
I presume asbestosis is manageable within limits.
Quote from: Velma on June 21, 2018, 06:29:25 PM
We got some excellent news! Larry does not have mesothelioma. He has asbestosis, a chronic lung disease caused by exposure to asbestos. There is no cure, only treatment and managing symptoms.
We don't blame the primary care doctor for scaring us. Mesothelioma and asbestosis look a lot alike in scan and x-rays. You really need an oncologist with some experience to tell the difference - and I'm sure the oncology department at the VA has a great deal of experience with mesothelioma (whose primary cause is asbestos exposure). So, his pulmonlogist will be handling treatment.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/asbestosis/symptoms-causes/syc-20354637
Not good but a lot better than it could nave been!
Asbestosis is one of those things they manage since there is no cure. It is not a clean bill of health by any means, but it does not come with a 60% rate of mortality within the first year like mesothelioma does.
One good thing that came out of it is that we know that the plans we have in place for end-of-life issues will work very well when the time comes.
Quote from: Velma on June 21, 2018, 07:07:45 PM
Asbestosis is one of those things they manage since there is no cure. It is not a clean bill of health by any means, but it does not come with a 60% rate of mortality within the first year like mesothelioma does.
So still good news and I'm happy for you. (imagine a gif of the Snoopy dance here)
QuoteOne good thing that came out of it is that we know that the plans we have in place for end-of-life issues will work very well when the time comes.
It's weird how comforting that is. I started working on mine about a month ago and thought I'd find it depressing but it was quite the opposite. It actually cheered me up to start getting things tidied and taken care of so my survivors will have as little as possible to be bothered with. All I have to do is remember to make updates as needed.
Quote from: Sandra Craft on June 21, 2018, 07:56:22 PM
Quote from: Velma on June 21, 2018, 07:07:45 PM
Asbestosis is one of those things they manage since there is no cure. It is not a clean bill of health by any means, but it does not come with a 60% rate of mortality within the first year like mesothelioma does.
So still good news and I'm happy for you. (imagine a gif of the Snoopy dance here)
QuoteOne good thing that came out of it is that we know that the plans we have in place for end-of-life issues will work very well when the time comes.
It's weird how comforting that is. I started working on mine about a month ago and thought I'd find it depressing but it was quite the opposite. It actually cheered me up to start getting things tidied and taken care of so my survivors will have as little as possible to be bothered with. All I have to do is remember to make updates as needed.
Sandra, my recent operation got me thinking along those lines as well. Could you tell us how you went about it? What format or mechanism did you use? Is it in the form of a Word document you then asked your lawyer to keep, or is it a codicil to your will?
Quote from: Sandra Craft on June 21, 2018, 07:56:22 PM
Quote from: Velma on June 21, 2018, 07:07:45 PM
Asbestosis is one of those things they manage since there is no cure. It is not a clean bill of health by any means, but it does not come with a 60% rate of mortality within the first year like mesothelioma does.
So still good news and I'm happy for you. (imagine a gif of the Snoopy dance here)
Thanks. It was an immense relief!
Quote from: Sandra Craft on June 21, 2018, 07:56:22 PM
Quote from: Velma on June 21, 2018, 07:07:45 PM
One good thing that came out of it is that we know that the plans we have in place for end-of-life issues will work very well when the time comes.
It's weird how comforting that is. I started working on mine about a month ago and thought I'd find it depressing but it was quite the opposite. It actually cheered me up to start getting things tidied and taken care of so my survivors will have as little as possible to be bothered with. All I have to do is remember to make updates as needed.
It really is comforting to know that if something happens to one of us, the other will not have to stress over so many details.
Quote from: hermes2015 on June 22, 2018, 06:03:44 AM
Sandra, my recent operation got me thinking along those lines as well. Could you tell us how you went about it? What format or mechanism did you use? Is it in the form of a Word document you then asked your lawyer to keep, or is it a codicil to your will?
I haven't involved a lawyer and don't expect to -- my will is strictly do-it-yourself. I've been told as long as it's signed by two witness who are not beneficiaries that'll be fine if there's very little "estate" to pass on. And there isn't.
I found several forms online just by googling and picked the one that applied most to what I wanted to do (i.e., had language regarding pets). The parts I'm still fussing with are getting cremation services prepaid and finding affordable end-of-life insurance, just in case.
Here's the site I used for forms: https://eforms.com/wills/
Well asbestosis while not great is way better than mesothelioma, so at least that weight has been lifted. I am so happy for that - seems funny to be glad someone has a serious disease like asbestosis, but it just goes to show there is always something worse. That's exactly what I was talking about with one of the nurses during my most recent dialysis session. No on wants to grow up and have two bloody great needles stuck in their arm for five hours three times a week, but I look at it this way: at least I'm lucky enough to have renal failure at a time in history where there is something the medicos can do about it. Hmmm, not sure if that helps, but there you go!
Quote from: Sandra Craft on June 22, 2018, 10:18:43 AM
Quote from: hermes2015 on June 22, 2018, 06:03:44 AM
Sandra, my recent operation got me thinking along those lines as well. Could you tell us how you went about it? What format or mechanism did you use? Is it in the form of a Word document you then asked your lawyer to keep, or is it a codicil to your will?
I haven't involved a lawyer and don't expect to -- my will is strictly do-it-yourself. I've been told as long as it's signed by two witness who are not beneficiaries that'll be fine if there's very little "estate" to pass on. And there isn't.
I found several forms online just by googling and picked the one that applied most to what I wanted to do (i.e., had language regarding pets). The parts I'm still fussing with are getting cremation services prepaid and finding affordable end-of-life insurance, just in case.
Here's the site I used for forms: https://eforms.com/wills/
Great, thank you for the link. The legal situation here is the same.
A US organization whose name is Compassion and Choices offer several free documents for end of life arrangements. The documents are most useful and well constructed so as to comply with most of our states laws.
That organization used to called the Hemlock Society. They were proponents of self determination that included Physician assisted suicide. No they are not an organization from the gates of hell. They are a bunch of people with some common sense and a lot of compassion for people with terminal illnesses. They were instrumental in helping the states of Oregon and others to make physician assisted suicides permissible. .
P.S. The Jesus people do not much like that organization.
Quote from: Icarus on June 22, 2018, 11:13:53 PM
A US organization whose name is Compassion and Choices offer several free documents for end of life arrangements. The documents are most useful and well constructed so as to comply with most of our states laws.
That organization used to called the Hemlock Society. They were proponents of self determination that included Physician assisted suicide. No they are not an organization from the gates of hell. They are a bunch of people with some common sense and a lot of compassion for people with terminal illnesses. They were instrumental in helping the states of Oregon and others to make physician assisted suicides permissible. .
P.S. The Jesus people do not much like that organization.
I'm sure the feeling is entirely mutual
Velma, The C and C people are not openly anti religious but they do piss off a lot of narrow minded evangelicals.
Quote from: Icarus on June 24, 2018, 12:40:14 AM
Velma, The C and C people are not openly anti religious but they do piss off a lot of narrow minded evangelicals.
I can see that. It does do against their belief that only God can determine the length of your life, rather like the Fates in Greek mythology.
I don't see why it is immoral to end a human being's suffering, but not that of the family dog or cat.
Quote from: Velma on June 24, 2018, 06:14:01 AM
Quote from: Icarus on June 24, 2018, 12:40:14 AM
Velma, The C and C people are not openly anti religious but they do piss off a lot of narrow minded evangelicals.
I can see that. It does do against their belief that only God can determine the length of your life, rather like the Fates in Greek mythology.
I don't see why it is immoral to end a human being's suffering, but not that of the family dog or cat.
Yes, it's bullshit, born of the "humans aren't really like animals; they're next to angels, with immortal souls" mythology-based mindset. The US will probably be one of the last places where that sort of nonsense holds sway in the "first world", though the UK also seems set to hold that particular line for some time to come.
I'm very glad to hear that the news from the sawbones wasn't nearly as bad as it might have been. I've enjoyed reading your husband's writings on various sites over the years (particularly on the history forum), though he's no longer so active on many of them.
Quote from: Recusant on June 24, 2018, 11:00:46 AM
Quote from: Velma on June 24, 2018, 06:14:01 AM
Quote from: Icarus on June 24, 2018, 12:40:14 AM
Velma, The C and C people are not openly anti religious but they do piss off a lot of narrow minded evangelicals.
I can see that. It does do against their belief that only God can determine the length of your life, rather like the Fates in Greek mythology.
I don't see why it is immoral to end a human being's suffering, but not that of the family dog or cat.
Yes, it's bullshit, born of the "humans aren't really like animals; they're next to angels, with immortal souls" mythology-based mindset. The US will probably be one of the last places where that sort of nonsense holds sway in the "first world", though the UK also seems set to hold that particular line for some time to come.
I'm very glad to hear that the news from the sawbones wasn't nearly as bad as it might have been. I've enjoyed reading your husband's writings on various sites over the years (particularly on the history forum), though he's no longer so active on many of them.
He still enjoys his history forums, but enthusiasms wax and wane.