Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread

[Randy]

no no don't let me crash the little girl's bike and break my leg if i break my leg on this thing i'll never live it down just a sprain please please

and so i got a sprain and didn't break it.

And who did you plead with to grant you this miracle of a sprain? 

i don't have a god thing these days but i don't mind thinbking that it was as if that great rush of anger had washed me clean, emptied me of hope, and, gazing up at the dark sky spangled with its signs and stars, for the first time, the first, I laid my heart open to the benign indifference of the universe. or something like that

I know, Billy. I'm just yanking your chain! I've pleaded to no one (not No One of the board, he doesn't hear my prayers) many times in fit of hurt, anger, or fear.

[Magdalena]

A new reason to be grumpy today:

I went in for my chemo session and talked to the doctor about a minor ache that started happening earlier this week. It's in the left hip where the ball-and-socket joint of the thigh meets. She went out and came back with some paper from a radiologist describing where the (then new) tumor as and it is in the exact same place.

Tomorrow I see another doctor about having radiation zapped in that area. Radiation is no fun. It scars, thickens the skin, is sore for weeks, ... At least with my neck I didn't have anything rubbing it much since my collars are always open and when I came home I'd wear a loose t-shirt.

But this thing is on the inside of my thigh roughly. My trousers and pajamas are going to be rubbing it constantly. And it won't be just there. Here is an example of what I mean:

My first set of radiation treatments were for the base of the tongue where the localized mass was. Essentially we were burning it off with x-rays. But they had to aim the machine at different points along my neck so my whole neck took the abuse and is still taking it. Radiation is the gift that keeps giving.

So now I'm wondering how much of my leg is going to be impacted by this? Oh, I have to get a full bone scan in a couple of weeks because of mentioning this to the doctor to see if it spread to any other areas of my body.

There are other things too but this is enough. I can handle them. I'll have to handle this the same way as I did before, just grin and bear it.

This is daunting stuff. Thank you for keeping us up to date, man. 

I don't think the good vibes I'm sendin are working...
...Maybe if I can make them vibrate harder...

[Randy]

Maybe if you send over a vibrating bed. 

[Magdalena]

Maybe if you send over a vibrating bed. 

Sending good vibes, sending good vibes...

[billy rubin]

yesterday the raccoons were tearing out the sheetrock in the living room, and i asked my wife in minnesota to send them disapproving vibes to make them stop, as they don't listen to me. she had nothing useful to offer.

tuesday we build a giant cage and banish them to the outside.

[Randy]

To continue with my rant from yesterday about the doctor's appointment, I just got back from my consultation. I have markers on me that I have to leave there for either Monday or Tuesday. I'm scheduled for radiation treatment. Here's the deal:

The cancer is eating away at the bone. I pushed on where it hurts and he verified that is the exact spot the tumor is. I already knew that because I can feel it. Anyway, if something isn't done soon the bone will snap from being too thin to hold my weight. So we are going to zap the cancer. I don't know if this will get rid of it there or just shrink it.

In two weeks I'll have a full body bone scan to see if any of my other bones are affected. I don't know if I'm grumpy or just disillusioned. The blasted thing is bothering me now and I'm just lying here. Maybe it's from all the walking around I've done and have aggravated it. Somehow I doubt that. This is what it was doing earlier this week, just started aching. On a scale of one to ten I'd give it a two simply because it is bothersome. It shoots to an eight during the day.

[Randy]

Depression -- I got back from my pulmonologist a couple of hours ago. The x-ray is fine and my lungs are clear. I was doing good until he said something about me being "a tough cookie" because of all I've been through. It gave me time to think about it all and it got depressing especially knowing it won't get better.

I know doctors and nurses are rooting for me as if I'm in some kind of race. What they let slip through their minds is that it is a race I will not win.

I took a nap and am feeling somewhat better.

Oh, Crystal stopped writing to me. I think I made her mad but don't know how so there's that too.

I ran out of feed bags yesterday and tried to do a bolus feed. My stomach didn't like it. Today I haven't eaten and I probably won't tomorrow. I'm just having a grumptastic day.

I'm going to watch a movie.

[Tank]

Depression -- I got back from my pulmonologist a couple of hours ago. The x-ray is fine and my lungs are clear. I was doing good until he said something about me being "a tough cookie" because of all I've been through. It gave me time to think about it all and it got depressing especially knowing it won't get better.

I know doctors and nurses are rooting for me as if I'm in some kind of race. What they let slip through their minds is that it is a race I will not win.

I took a nap and am feeling somewhat better.

Oh, Crystal stopped writing to me. I think I made her mad but don't know how so there's that too.

I ran out of feed bags yesterday and tried to do a bolus feed. My stomach didn't like it. Today I haven't eaten and I probably won't tomorrow. I'm just having a grumptastic day.

I'm going to watch a movie.

How do you get more feed bags?

[Magdalena]

Depression -- I got back from my pulmonologist a couple of hours ago. The x-ray is fine and my lungs are clear. I was doing good until he said something about me being "a tough cookie" because of all I've been through. It gave me time to think about it all and it got depressing especially knowing it won't get better.

I know doctors and nurses are rooting for me as if I'm in some kind of race. What they let slip through their minds is that it is a race I will not win.

I took a nap and am feeling somewhat better.

Oh, Crystal stopped writing to me. I think I made her mad but don't know how so there's that too.

I ran out of feed bags yesterday and tried to do a bolus feed. My stomach didn't like it. Today I haven't eaten and I probably won't tomorrow. I'm just having a grumptastic day.

I'm going to watch a movie.

Aww, Randy. 
I'm sorry to hear you're having a grumptastic day. Some days are better than others, aren't they? One day at a time, my friend.

[billy rubin]

one day at a time is indeed the name of the game.

i'm 64 years old. creaky and stiff in the joints. but i've had a good run.

my father died when he was 69 years old (banging my mama, but that's another story)

i explained that to my teenagers the other day:

yo, kids. i'm 64 years old. my father died when he was 69. if i do the same i'll be dead in five years.

being teenagers, they said, damn . . .

randy, i don't have to live with the burdens you do, and i'm continually astonished that you manage. i don't know what i'd do.

but the name of the game is still One Day at a Time, no matter where on the field you find yourself.

[Randy]

How do you get more feed bags?

Get this: I have to order more of the formula first. It's not possible for me to run out of that since I do things like go to chemotherapy and so-forth. I'm not connected to my machine during those times and therefore over time I build up a surplus. But the bags don't care. They are changed every day for thirty days. I guess next time we have to lie. Just five would have sufficed, maybe less but I don't know when the formula plus bags plus syringes will actually arrive. They were shipped out today.

So, order formula and you get bags magically.

[Randy]

one day at a time is indeed the name of the game.

i'm 64 years old. creaky and stiff in the joints. but i've had a good run.

my father died when he was 69 years old (banging my mama, but that's another story)

i explained that to my teenagers the other day:

yo, kids. i'm 64 years old. my father died when he was 69. if i do the same i'll be dead in five years.

being teenagers, they said, damn . . .

randy, i don't have to live with the burdens you do, and i'm continually astonished that you manage. i don't know what i'd do.

but the name of the game is still One Day at a Time, no matter where on the field you find yourself.

My father died of cancer when he was 58. So far I've out done him but I wondered for a while if I'd make it this far. You and Mags are right, one day at a time. I'll get through this. I'm just having a bad day. There was something else to add to my list but I'll forego it. I have to see another doctor about it and go for a CT scan. I just wonder some days if I'll ever go to a doctor and not have to have anything done.

Life is short and then you make applesauce, or some kind of quote should go there.

[billy rubin]

you pass on what you can of what you ve learned, to make life easier for other people. in the end, there's nothing else.

i took my number two son out on the little 250 ninja this afternoon. he can't get official license-quality traning because of the pandemic, but i want him confident enough to do 100-plus mph on the little bike if and when we get a race date.

he started out too fast and  fell over in the driveway becaue the choke raises the idle, and i explained that the secret of learning to ride a motorcycle is to

GO SLOW.

just go slow, and then whatever happens will be slow enough not to cause difficulties.

so many people think you have to do everything fast. no. just GO SLOW, and when you ve learned the correct habits, then you can go fast.

his sisters have already beat the ton on this machine, so he has them to watch.

so i teach them to ride motorcycles, and to balance bank accounts, and not to lie, and to be skeptical of what people tell them, and to interpret the clouds, and to identify the snakes, and the trees, and the birds, and on and on.

there's so much to life that you just have to pick something and run with it, because every choice you make is an entire lifetime you will never experience.

lol

listen to the philospher

[No one]

Bad/lazy customer service reps.

[Tank]

How do you get more feed bags?

Get this: I have to order more of the formula first. It's not possible for me to run out of that since I do things like go to chemotherapy and so-forth. I'm not connected to my machine during those times and therefore over time I build up a surplus. But the bags don't care. They are changed every day for thirty days. I guess next time we have to lie. Just five would have sufficed, maybe less but I don't know when the formula plus bags plus syringes will actually arrive. They were shipped out today.

So, order formula and you get bags magically.

That's just stupid