Kind of tired of being around my Dad because he always finds new and abused ways of fucking me.
He told me to get a car, despite my feelings to do things for myself which made me happy and now he wants me to pay to fix the car after it was his idea to send it to the shop in the first place. I don't even have a job or ability to pay for whatever massive amount of next he wants me in this time.
I should be doing things for myself and because they make me happy, not because someone sees a situation they want to fuck with.
Sorry I'm pissed.
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 12:42:15 AM
Kind of tired of being around my Dad because he always finds new and abused ways of fucking me.
He told me to get a car, despite my feelings to do things for myself which made me happy and now he wants me to pay to fix the car after it was his idea to send it to the shop in the first place. I don't even have a job or ability to pay for whatever massive amount of next he wants me in this time.
I should be doing things for myself and because they make me happy, not because someone sees a situation they want to fuck with.
Sorry I'm pissed.
:therethere:
I don't know what to tell you,
Apathy.
Would you like to tell me what you wish you could say to your dad, but for whatever reason, you can't?
Maybe that will make you feel better?
:secrets1: If you don't, that's fine.
Well Jeffrey, sometimes parents just don't understand. Now I don't fully know your situation. I don't know if your father is maliciously abusive, or if it's that his son did not turn out has he envisioned. Not that you are a disappointment, but that the vision in his head, the one he barks at, is not the same person who you are.
Parents like to plan out every step of their child's life. Dads especially with their son's. Sometimes, when that plan goes awry, even though they are proud of you, a little part of them that did the planning seeps into their tone and words.
Quote from: Magdalena on June 14, 2016, 01:19:16 AM
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 12:42:15 AM
Kind of tired of being around my Dad because he always finds new and abused ways of fucking me.
He told me to get a car, despite my feelings to do things for myself which made me happy and now he wants me to pay to fix the car after it was his idea to send it to the shop in the first place. I don't even have a job or ability to pay for whatever massive amount of next he wants me in this time.
I should be doing things for myself and because they make me happy, not because someone sees a situation they want to fuck with.
Sorry I'm pissed.
:therethere:
I don't know what to tell you, Apathy.
Would you like to tell me what you wish you could say to your dad, but for whatever reason, you can't?
Maybe that will make you feel better?
:secrets1: If you don't, that's fine.
Thank you, that won't be needed. Just listening to you made me feel better.
Quote from: No one on June 14, 2016, 01:28:34 AM
Well Jeffrey, sometimes parents just don't understand. Now I don't fully know your situation. I don't know if your father is maliciously abusive, or if it's that his son did not turn out has he envisioned. Not that you are a disappointment, but that the vision in his head, the one he barks at, is not the same person who you are.
Parents like to plan out every step of their child's life. Dads especially with their son's. Sometimes, when that plan goes awry, even though they are proud of you, a little part of them that did the planning seeps into their tone and words.
That's nice. Is that from something?
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 02:50:06 AM
Quote from: No one on June 14, 2016, 01:28:34 AM
Well Jeffrey, sometimes parents just don't understand. Now I don't fully know your situation. I don't know if your father is maliciously abusive, or if it's that his son did not turn out has he envisioned. Not that you are a disappointment, but that the vision in his head, the one he barks at, is not the same person who you are.
Parents like to plan out every step of their child's life. Dads especially with their son's. Sometimes, when that plan goes awry, even though they are proud of you, a little part of them that did the planning seeps into their tone and words.
That's nice. Is that from something?
:secrets1: No, it's from No one.
I know what you mean, I moved about 2200 kms away from my father, who does project a lot onto his children, sometimes unreasonably. You become happier when you start standing up for yourself, even if your aim is to please.
Quote from: No one on June 14, 2016, 01:28:34 AM
Well Jeffrey, sometimes parents just don't understand. Now I don't fully know your situation. I don't know if your father is maliciously abusive, or if it's that his son did not turn out has he envisioned. Not that you are a disappointment, but that the vision in his head, the one he barks at, is not the same person who you are.
Parents like to plan out every step of their child's life. Dads especially with their son's. Sometimes, when that plan goes awry, even though they are proud of you, a little part of them that did the planning seeps into their tone and words.
:smilenod:
Don't let it get to you if this is the case.
Sorry I really shouldn't have made this thread. I should have just made a post in the grumpy thread. Instead I made this a whole thread about me. Oh well...can one of the admin or moderators delete the whole thread please?
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 14, 2016, 05:58:12 AM
I know what you mean, I moved about 2200 kms away from my father, who does project a lot onto his children, sometimes unreasonably. You become happier when you start standing up for yourself, even if your aim is to please.
Quote from: No one on June 14, 2016, 01:28:34 AM
Well Jeffrey, sometimes parents just don't understand. Now I don't fully know your situation. I don't know if your father is maliciously abusive, or if it's that his son did not turn out has he envisioned. Not that you are a disappointment, but that the vision in his head, the one he barks at, is not the same person who you are.
Parents like to plan out every step of their child's life. Dads especially with their son's. Sometimes, when that plan goes awry, even though they are proud of you, a little part of them that did the planning seeps into their tone and words.
:smilenod:
Don't let it get to you if this is the case.
Thank you silver. I think I know how to handle myself. I'm just learning to do things for myself now and to do them for my reasons. You're right that I can't let it get to me because then he wins, but I still have to stick up for myself like you have and tell him I run my life for my reasons and am unsatisfied with his involvement.
I appreciate your help with this even though I over react to my problems. Like I said, I am still learning.
Here, have a song about dreams, happiness and bad parenting... Sort of.
My parents were like this; still interfering long after I had a wife and kids. As you get older and more self-assured, you will be able to ignore the interference without breaking the relationship altogether.
I learned never to interfere with my kids, and I've stuck to it - mainly from the example I received when younger.
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 07:24:53 AM
Sorry I really shouldn't have made this thread. I should have just made a post in the grumpy thread. Instead I made this a whole thread about me. Oh well...can one of the admin or moderators delete the whole thread please?
I'll defer to another mod's judgement on whether to delete or just move it, but I see nothing wrong with this thread. And while it is about you (and no reason why it shouldn't be) you can see there are a lot of members who've had similar experiences. I agree with NoOne's post, it's common to have difficulties stemming from not being the kid our parents ordered.
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on June 14, 2016, 10:48:23 AM
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 07:24:53 AM
Sorry I really shouldn't have made this thread. I should have just made a post in the grumpy thread. Instead I made this a whole thread about me. Oh well...can one of the admin or moderators delete the whole thread please?
I'll defer to another mod's judgement on whether to delete or just move it, but I see nothing wrong with this thread. And while it is about you (and no reason why it shouldn't be) you can see there are a lot of members who've had similar experiences. I agree with NoOne's post, it's common to have difficulties stemming from not being the kid our parents ordered.
I also don't see a problem with this thread, I think it's perfectly OK to create a little space on the internet to rant or let off some steam.
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 07:37:52 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 14, 2016, 05:58:12 AM
I know what you mean, I moved about 2200 kms away from my father, who does project a lot onto his children, sometimes unreasonably. You become happier when you start standing up for yourself, even if your aim is to please.
Quote from: No one on June 14, 2016, 01:28:34 AM
Well Jeffrey, sometimes parents just don't understand. Now I don't fully know your situation. I don't know if your father is maliciously abusive, or if it's that his son did not turn out has he envisioned. Not that you are a disappointment, but that the vision in his head, the one he barks at, is not the same person who you are.
Parents like to plan out every step of their child's life. Dads especially with their son's. Sometimes, when that plan goes awry, even though they are proud of you, a little part of them that did the planning seeps into their tone and words.
:smilenod:
Don't let it get to you if this is the case.
Thank you silver. I think I know how to handle myself. I'm just learning to do things for myself now and to do them for my reasons. You're right that I can't let it get to me because then he wins, but I still have to stick up for myself like you have and tell him I run my life for my reasons and am unsatisfied with his involvement.
I appreciate your help with this even though I over react to my problems. Like I said, I am still learning.
Hey, I don't stand up for myself all of the time yet, one of the reasons I moved away was to keep him from meddling in my life they way he thinks he should. ;) Just so you get an idea, I started a undergrad course of his choice, but dropped out one year into it. It's kind of funny how he had my whole career planned out for me before I told him that I was going to crush that dream of his. My sister (his favourite) went the whole way, but doesn't put her diploma into any use. My father paid for her entire tuition, but he might as well have burnt that money instead. ::)
Anyways, that's my rant. :blahblah: I feel that if I make a mistake then it's
my mistake. If it's his mistakes that are affecting my life then things get complicated. :rant1:
You're not overreacting, these problems can be quite serious. :headshake:
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 14, 2016, 01:08:26 PM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on June 14, 2016, 10:48:23 AM
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 07:24:53 AM
Sorry I really shouldn't have made this thread. I should have just made a post in the grumpy thread. Instead I made this a whole thread about me. Oh well...can one of the admin or moderators delete the whole thread please?
I'll defer to another mod's judgement on whether to delete or just move it, but I see nothing wrong with this thread. And while it is about you (and no reason why it shouldn't be) you can see there are a lot of members who've had similar experiences. I agree with NoOne's post, it's common to have difficulties stemming from not being the kid our parents ordered.
I also don't see a problem with this thread, I think it's perfectly OK to create a little space on the internet to rant or let off some steam.
I just don't want to turn it into a Facebook deal where I go over board with all my ranting. Because that is what will inevitably happen with me.
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 14, 2016, 01:27:30 PM
Quote from: Apathy on June 14, 2016, 07:37:52 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on June 14, 2016, 05:58:12 AM
I know what you mean, I moved about 2200 kms away from my father, who does project a lot onto his children, sometimes unreasonably. You become happier when you start standing up for yourself, even if your aim is to please.
Quote from: No one on June 14, 2016, 01:28:34 AM
Well Jeffrey, sometimes parents just don't understand. Now I don't fully know your situation. I don't know if your father is maliciously abusive, or if it's that his son did not turn out has he envisioned. Not that you are a disappointment, but that the vision in his head, the one he barks at, is not the same person who you are.
Parents like to plan out every step of their child's life. Dads especially with their son's. Sometimes, when that plan goes awry, even though they are proud of you, a little part of them that did the planning seeps into their tone and words.
:smilenod:
Don't let it get to you if this is the case.
Thank you silver. I think I know how to handle myself. I'm just learning to do things for myself now and to do them for my reasons. You're right that I can't let it get to me because then he wins, but I still have to stick up for myself like you have and tell him I run my life for my reasons and am unsatisfied with his involvement.
I appreciate your help with this even though I over react to my problems. Like I said, I am still learning.
Hey, I don't stand up for myself all of the time yet, one of the reasons I moved away was to keep him from meddling in my life they way he thinks he should. ;) Just so you get an idea, I started a undergrad course of his choice, but dropped out one year into it. It's kind of funny how he had my whole career planned out for me before I told him that I was going to crush that dream of his. My sister (his favourite) went the whole way, but doesn't put her diploma into any use. My father paid for her entire tuition, but he might as well have burnt that money instead. ::)
Anyways, that's my rant. :blahblah: I feel that if I make a mistake then it's my mistake. If it's his mistakes that are affecting my life then things get complicated. :rant1:
You're not overreacting, these problems can be quite serious. :headshake:
Yes I feel it's the same with me.