Re: Reasons To Be Grumpy thread

[billy rubin]

i was a middle manager in a siliconvalley tech writing company in the 90s. ran away with my best employee, got divorced, andmarried her. she had to get divorced too. the scandal was intense

when she wakes up ill ask whatshewantz for breakfast

[xSilverPhinx]

I was typing while sitting next to my niece at the table and she turns her head in my direction and sneezed. Right. On. Me.

I was already a bit of a germophobe before this whole coronavirus thing happened, so this shot my anxiety through the roof. I stopped what I was doing and took a long shower, leaving shampoo on my hair for around 15 min and washing my face and neck with soap (which I usually don't do because the soap removes protective oils from my face and causing countless zits to appear the next day ). I did this ritual 4 times.

Then I disinfected my whole computer with isopropyl alcohol and washed my hands again.

Afterwards I threw alcohol on the clothes I was wearing and set fire to them on the balcony.

(I'm exaggerating of course, I didn't actually burn my clothes. )

All this while trying to not make my niece feel too bad, but at the same time letting her know that it's really not cool to sneeze on people so she needs to cover her mouth and nose when she does. She's 10 so she should be old enough to understand this. I'm going to try finding one of those slow motion videos of someone sneezing so she can see what happens...

[Tank]

I think you showed immense restraint by not burning her, along with your clothes, on the balcony!

[xSilverPhinx]

I think you showed immense restraint by not burning her, along with your clothes, on the balcony!

Yeah, but can I say? I couldn't burn her along with my clothes because I like the kid.

About a year back she became fascinated with jokes and joke-telling so she asked everyone to buy her joke books. She got quite a few for her birthday and spent countless hours reading them. She reread them. She studied them down to their finest details.

Then she had a go at telling jokes herself. 'Auntie!', she called me me one day. 'I wanna tell you a joke!'.

Ok, I thought. I like jokes myself, so I want to hear this.

'Knock, knock!', she started.

'Who's there?'

'YOUR MOM!' she yelled and started laughing hysterically at the joke she had crafted in her head.



I mean, I think it's great that she was creative and put a knock, knock and your mom joke together but, it didn't quite...work.

I thought the whole thing was very endearing anyway. I felt very proud of her too! She had surpassed her auntie at bad joke-telling. That kid has potential.

[xSilverPhinx]

Now she's into horror stories. Yesterday she told me three. Now that she has plenty of free time I'm going to suggest she write these stories down so she can organise her thoughts while telling them.

[billy rubin]

woo, your old, silver.

tht little girl had a much more sophisticated couplet in mind.

the whole joke goes like this:

why did the cow cross the road?

i don't know.

to get to your house . . . knock knock

whoe's ther

YOUR MOM . . .

i know this because my own chioldren have rtrapped me with it, even in the presence of their mother

[xSilverPhinx]

woo, your old, silver.

tht little girl had a much more sophisticated couplet in mind.

the whole joke goes like this:

why did the cow cross the road?

i don't know.

to get to your house . . . knock knock

whoe's ther

YOUR MOM . . .

i know this because my own chioldren have rtrapped me with it, even in the presence of their mother

Kids these days.

[Magdalena]

woo, your old, silver.

tht little girl had a much more sophisticated couplet in mind.

the whole joke goes like this:

why did the cow cross the road?

i don't know.

to get to your house . . . knock knock

whoe's ther

YOUR MOM . . .

i know this because my own chioldren have rtrapped me with it, even in the presence of their mother

Kids these days.

I remember those jokes. 
I used to do this:
Kid: "Knock, knock..."
Me: "Who the hell is there and what the hell do you want? What ever it is you're selling, I don't want it, get the hell away from my door."
My kids thought it was the most hillarious thing in the world. 

[billy rubin]

my favorite went like this

i have a knock knock joke, its great, you start

okay, knock knock . . .

who s there?

[xSilverPhinx]

woo, your old, silver.

tht little girl had a much more sophisticated couplet in mind.

the whole joke goes like this:

why did the cow cross the road?

i don't know.

to get to your house . . . knock knock

whoe's ther

YOUR MOM . . .

i know this because my own chioldren have rtrapped me with it, even in the presence of their mother

Kids these days.

I remember those jokes. 
I used to do this:
Kid: "Knock, knock..."
Me: "Who the hell is there and what the hell do you want? What ever it is you're selling, I don't want it, get the hell away from my door."
My kids thought it was the most hillarious thing in the world. 

Heh, that's a good one!

[xSilverPhinx]

my favorite went like this

i have a knock knock joke, its great, you start

okay, knock knock . . .

who s there?

Sounds like a good joke for No one to tell. 

[Magdalena]

my favorite went like this

i have a knock knock joke, its great, you start

okay, knock knock . . .

who s there?

Sounds like a good joke for No one to tell. 

Ha!

[OldGit]

Our handy little store just up the road has closed.  Now I have to go a mile, though in fact we're doing okay on deliveries from the supermarkets and off the net.

My daughter the doctor says that at my age and with some serious other conditions already, if I catch this bloody cocovirus on top I'm as good as dead.  Cheerful, eh?

[Tank]

Our handy little store just up the road has closed.  Now I have to go a mile, though in fact we're doing okay on deliveries from the supermarkets and off the net.

My daughter the doctor says that at my age and with some serious other conditions already, if I catch this bloody cocovirus on top I'm as good as dead.  Cheerful, eh?

We just lost an 85yo friend of the family. He would have been a great grandfather in September. Stay safe OldGit, or you won't get to see Brexit 

[xSilverPhinx]

Our handy little store just up the road has closed.  Now I have to go a mile, though in fact we're doing okay on deliveries from the supermarkets and off the net.

My daughter the doctor says that at my age and with some serious other conditions already, if I catch this bloody cocovirus on top I'm as good as dead.  Cheerful, eh?

Stay safe, OG! I'm optimistic that with time we will develop vaccines, effective antiviral medication and other healthcare strategies to combat this virus should people get infected, even people in the high-risk group.

And, if it's anything like some influenza strains, with time the new coronavirus could become less lethal as well.