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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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jumbojak


"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Buddy

Remember that "School two easy" picture that I had said was from my local news station? The lovely South Bend delivers again.

Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Guardian85



"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Tank

Quote from: Budhorse4 on March 06, 2013, 08:23:40 PM
Remember that "School two easy" picture that I had said was from my local news station? The lovely South Bend delivers again.


That can't be real!
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Buddy

Oh it was. This happened a while ago and has since been taken down but I saw it when it was up.
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Asmodean

Quote from: Tank on March 06, 2013, 10:48:48 PM
That can't be real!
I don't see the problem. Advertising pube schools in a discreet, non-flashy way like that is... How I'd like to see everything advertised.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Buddy

Another from the Twitter of Northern Indiana's news station.


Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

NoHandlebarsAttached

Read this on another site. I thought it was pretty funny.
A burglar is breaking into a window of a house and he hears, "Jesus is watching you." He freezes then starts unplugging the TV and hears, "Jesus is watching you." Then he shines his flashlight at the parrot and says, "That you talking?" The parrot says, "Yes, I'm Moses." The burglar says, "Who calls a parrot Moses?" and the parrot says, "The same person who called the Rottweiler Jesus."

NoHandlebarsAttached


Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

OldGit

JOB INTERVIEW

Interviewer: 'What's your greatest weakness?'
Candidate: 'Honesty.'
Interviewer: 'Honesty?  I don't think that's a weakness.'
Candidate: 'I don't give a shit what you think.'

NoHandlebarsAttached

#1076
Honesty doesn't get one far at all.

Asmodean

Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

NoHandlebarsAttached


Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.