Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Amicale



"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

jumbojak


"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Amicale

Quote from: jumbojak on November 12, 2012, 10:30:31 PM
Quote from: Amicale on November 12, 2012, 10:09:49 PM
Quote from: OldGit on November 12, 2012, 06:16:59 PM


OMFSM!!

Hmm. Good or bad omfsm? ;)

It sounded good to me!

I have visions of OG standing on a park bench, yelling that acronym as loudly as he can for all the world to hear.


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Claireliontamer

Quote from: Amicale on November 12, 2012, 10:36:07 PM
Quote from: jumbojak on November 12, 2012, 10:30:31 PM
Quote from: Amicale on November 12, 2012, 10:09:49 PM
Quote from: OldGit on November 12, 2012, 06:16:59 PM


OMFSM!!

Hmm. Good or bad omfsm? ;)

It sounded good to me!

I have visions of OG standing on a park bench, yelling that acronym as loudly as he can for all the world to hear.

I thought I heard something strange coming from the Southerly direction earlier on today ;)

OldGit

You may well have heard it, Claire, but it was uttered in my living room, not on a park bench.  And it was provoked by the enormity of that Paddywhack joke.  :o

I thought there were international treaties banning the peacetime use of jokes like that.

Amicale

Quote from: OldGit on November 13, 2012, 10:11:32 AM
You may well have heard it, Claire, but it was uttered in my living room, not on a park bench.  And it was provoked by the enormity of that Paddywhack joke.  :o

I thought there were international treaties banning the peacetime use of jokes like that.

There are indeed treaties banning the use of such jokes. The humor police have attempted to arrest me. They gave up when they arrived. I was so silly that none of their officers could get the cuffs on me without bursting out into giggles; some rolled their eyes so badly they needed corrective surgery.


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Guardian85

Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's tits best, " the first guy says.
The second says "I like to look at a woman's ass." He asks the third guy "What about you?".
"Me? I prefer to see the top of her head."


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Tank

I fall into the typical male category, I seriously suspect my wife is a typical female in this respect!

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Crow

Quote from: Tank on November 15, 2012, 10:18:03 AM
I fall into the typical male category, I seriously suspect my wife is a typical female in this respect!

Bugger I fall into the female category again.  :D
Retired member.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

AlisonFox66

scientists invented a device to turn a dog's thoughts into worrds

a man got one for xmas and put it on his dog

it said

'i am off to take the human for a walk, he needs his space away from your mother and the festivities'

Davin

Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.

OldGit