Hey Everyone,
So, I've been trying to decide lately how to make the switch. I'm going to go from telling my kids Jesus is God to saying that Jesus was just a man. So, I really don't know what to say. Should I not say anything until they ask? then, just answer honestly? Or should I just say what I think flat out? Or should I just get their minds thinking by saying "Not everyone believes Jesus was god and resurrected. Some people think that's just a story, kinda like Santa." And, then just let them think on that....maybe....I don't know. Any suggestions?
Thanks!!
EDIT: My kids are 5 and 3
I mean, that's really young... How religious can a child be?
(gosh, that frightens me.)
Anyway, cant you stop talking about religious crap like jesus myth around them or is it that bad where you seriously have to explain it?
If so, i suppose you can tell them it is a myth/story, much like greek, Norse, cinderella..etc
Don't mean to come off rude, but it is hard to fathom a three year whom is religious.
I don't know if an explanation would be completely necessary for kids that young. Especially a 3 year old. I would just discontinue exposing them to it, they are so young I bet they completely forget about it. I do agree with Sweetdeath, perhaps if you are telling them myths and stories like that you can include Jesus in it, so that they categorize it in the same way, a myth.
Expose them to other myths and stories, perhaps? There are plenty of characters that are similar to Jesus in many ways, Christianity also borrowed a lot of elements from long established and older faiths and cults.
When I was growing up I would read a lot of fantastical stories, I never really saw the bible stories as any different from themin terms of categorisation or genre. Greek myths included. ;D
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on April 08, 2012, 06:43:11 AM
When I was growing up I would read a lot of fantastical stories, I never really saw the bible stories as any different from themin terms of categorisation or genre. Greek myths included. ;D
I think this is one of the things that kept me at an intellectual distance from the Xtian myths, all the other myths I read about constantly as a kid. When push came to shove, there just wasn't that much difference among them.
I agree with the things the others have suggested and would also suggest, when your kids get older and talk or ask about Jesus, that you emphasize the positive aspects of Jesus being "just a man", if he indeed existed at all. Because, really, if he did exist and did even half of what is claimed, it would be much more impressive coming from a mere human than an all-powerful god (however temporarily dressed in human clothing).
With kids that age, in my opinion, it's a definite a wait till they ask situation. When a kid raises a subject it's at a moment they are primed to be responsive to an answer. You can then make use of the situation by exploring what they already think before adding your critical opinion.
I remember my son asking 'Why elephants?' when he was 5 or 6. I assumed we were going to get the first 'birds and bees' discussion. But I asked him what he meant to make sure and his response 'Why aren't elephants people?'. So the depth of his question was way deeper than I had expected. He was trying to get his head around why there were different creatures! That made the B&B discussion look easy!
Now there's nothing stopping you creating a situation that may draw out a suitable question. In your case there should be plenty of material laying about that could start a conversation about the existence of the supernatural. Get their interest and let them lead the questioning. It is however vital that you establish what your child thinks about the situation before you get into a conversation. Only when you understand what they understand can you move forward. You also need to know what your position on the subject is before the discussion. Young kids expect black and white not grey, you'll lose them if you get too 'deep'. Sometimes I would tell my kids, 'I don't know the answer, let's go look.' then we'd go on a search for the answer. This works well as it involves the kid in the process. But on the whole I'd say be prepared and let them come to you when they are considering the subject.
Something else in your post caught my eye. The part about Jesus being just a man. You're coming at this as an ex-theist which is of course perfectly understandable. But there's nothing wrong with being just a man or woman, that's what we all are. I don't think you need to excuse the position that Jesus was not the Son of God, and I appreciate you're having to deal with the double whammy of your new world view colliding with being a mum of young kids.
As a mum of a 5 year old I doubt I have told you anything you don't know already but I hope it gives some food for thought.
Whatever you decide, relax and take it gently. Don't make a big deal of it. With my own kids, I simply made it clear that religion was not very interesting and that I thought badly of it.
I don't know if you live in a religious area where you might get interference from school or whatever. In the UK I didn't need to worry about that.
Father of a 7.5 and 5 y/o here. Sounds like some good advice given above.
Here's how it goes in my house:
J: Is god really for real?
Me: What do you think?
J: Erm... Yes?!
Me: Why do you think that?
J: Because they say so at school
Me: Do you think you should believe everything other grown-ups tell you?
J: Erm... Yes?!
Me: Well, what if your teachers had been told a fib when they were children and they believed it and now they're telling you the same thing...?
J skips off back to looning around...
Now I'm not certain if my point is soaking through, but hopefully by not directly answering his question he is learning to question for himself. If he chooses religion that's up to him.
Now I know I'm going to spark an angry mob (again) on this subject (and I'm not going to debate it here) but...:
My daughter, 5, loves all the religious singing and celebrating stuff at her school (just as I did). And I am happy to let it ride until she is ready to ask questions of it. So with the death of the Tooth fairy and Santa will come the death of God and Jesus. In our mildly religious school I have nothing to fear any more than from Santa. And Santa's great fun isn't he?!
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 08, 2012, 08:54:37 AM
My daughter, 5, loves all the religious singing and celebrating stuff at her school (just as I did).
Yeah, I can't get all worked up over kids enjoying the assorted trappings of religion either. I loved going to
church as a kid, and I still enjoy it occasionally now, and I turned out an atheist.
At that age they are likely to believe whatever you tell them. My three and a half year old believes in monsters.
I don't think they get the power of reasoned thought until teenage years, and even then they are quite confused. (just guessing mind you, my kids are 3.5 and 1.5)
But part of the teenage angst is when they necessarily rebel against authoritative command and start thinking for themselves. It is just a part of growing up, becoming an independent adult.
I would say, don't tell them that Jesus isn't god, if the question comes up be honest, tell them that although some people believe Jesus is god, you don't. Just let it flow from there, maybe they ask more questions, maybe they don't.
But I'd be getting in rid of Christian children's books or Christian movies if you have any. I've seen some of that stuff and it makes me feel sick that parents knowingly brainwash their babies that way.
I think there are some great responses here. I think I'd try to frame things positively. Instead of emphasizing that there's no God and no heaven, I'd emphasize that humans are here to take care of each other and that there's something special about each person. I think I would definitely take their lead with regards to how in-depth the conversation goes.
But I don't think there's any rush, per say. 3 and 5 is still very young and it's unlikely that they really *got* everything about the Christian faith to begin with.
I think determined Juliet is spot on. And most likely if you don't talk about Jesus often chances are they'll kind of just forget... lol
Mom to a 3.5 year old here. When my son asks "Is God real?" I say something a long the lines of "No one really knows for sure, and some people believe and some people don't. Either way is fine." Then he has asked "Do you believe?" and I answer him truthfully "No, not really." I don't bring it up unless he asks.
Quote from: Ali on April 08, 2012, 03:49:52 PM
Mom to a 3.5 year old here. When my son asks "Is God real?" I say something a long the lines of "No one really knows for sure, and some people believe and some people don't. Either way is fine." Then he has asked "Do you believe?" and I answer him truthfully "No, not really." I don't bring it up unless he asks.
I knew that DJ and Ali would have some great answers. Listen to them. XD
Also, when your kids get older (like 11/12) you can show them recorded history of wars started because of religion, and how vile it is. How people kill and die for something that just isn't there.
Quote from: Stevil on April 08, 2012, 11:54:08 AM
But I'd be getting in rid of Christian children's books or Christian movies if you have any. I've seen some of that stuff and it makes me feel sick that parents knowingly brainwash their babies that way.
Plus they're often so bad in quality they should be kept from impressionable minds for that reason alone.
Wow, so many great responses. Thanks so much! There is a lot of information for me to think on. You all are just a bunch of really freakin' intelligent people. I love it!
Today, I decided to talk about why we celebrate Easter. So, I talked about how in winter everything dies and then I asked my son "What happens in the Spring?" and he said "Everything comes back to life!" and I said "Right! And, that's what Easter is about! Dying and coming back to life! And, you know what we are going to learn about at church this morning?" and He said "What?" and I said, "Jesus dying and coming back to life. That's another reason people celebrate Easter. But, you know what? Not everyone believes that Jesus really came to back to life. Daddy believes it and so does grandma and grandpa. But, Ali (our Muslim friend) doesn't believe that Jesus came back to life. People believe different things." And, he looked at me intently and was really taking it all in. Then he went back to playing.
So, that's the first attempt I've ever had at trying to show him that people believe different things. And, I didn't identify my beliefs because I'm not ready to do that in front of them. But, I think you all are right, I'm going to take my kids' lead and answer questions when they come up from now on. I know that sooner or later, they will ask if I believe and I'll be honest.
Just to answer the question of 'how religious can a 3 year old be'... My daughter reminds us to pray at dinner and that's the extent of it. She's so adorable when she says "Mommy! We forgot to pray!!" I came across an idea to help her forget about praying! We are going to start doing cheers before we eat dinner. That will be fun for us and they'll look forward to it. I found the idea on this atheist mom's blog http://atheistmom.com/
Really, REALLY great responses, everyone! We've got some very smart parents here!
Asherah, I think you handled that really, really well. :)
No need to stress too much all at once. Just answer questions over time as they come. Kids ask when they're ready for an answer, usually -- we all do that. And most of life won't come down to religious talks, it'll come down to family time, going on outings, shopping, tucking the kids in at night, etc... just the mundane stuff that makes being a mommy so rewarding.
Also, since your husband does believe in God, if he WANTS to say grace with the kids occasionally, I'm not really sure it would hurt, if it means a lot to him. I mean, grace is basically just "thank you God for this food" or if it's the traditional grace, it's usually so hurriedly mumbled nobody stops to contemplate the wording. :D I Do like the idea of cheers, though. At our dinner table before we eat, we either share one really good thing that happened during our day, or we say one thing we're grateful for. If my almost-4-year-old wants to say she's thankful for/happy about her favourite toys, fine by me! One night I tried something different, though. I showed her the packaging from our food, and where the food came from - vegetables from one place, meat from another, etc and I told her I was very thankful to the people who worked so hard to pick the veggies, cut the meat, package everything, ship it, etc. She seemed to like this idea. Her addition was "I'm thankful they waited until the peppers were nice bright colours before they picked them!" :D
At bedtime, instead of bedtime prayers, we say out loud who/what we love. I always list our close family including her of course, and her dad, who is family to me and is one of my best friends... and she lists our family, a few of her little friends, and the occasional adored stuffed animal or whichever invisible friend she happens to believe in that week. ;D It's our family's way of kinda appreciating each other on a good day, and reconnecting/reaffirming our love for everyone even on a stressful day.
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Quote from: Stevil on April 09, 2012, 06:35:53 AM
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Mine's like this too. Friends who have kids around that age also seem to experience the same thing - the kids wanting routines, regular habits, etc. I don't know if all kids thrive on that, but so many little kids do, that I think it might be hardwired into them. If mine gets a nap at the wrong time, even, she can get all out of sorts.
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 06:50:01 AM
Quote from: Stevil on April 09, 2012, 06:35:53 AM
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Mine's like this too. Friends who have kids around that age also seem to experience the same thing - the kids wanting routines, regular habits, etc. I don't know if all kids thrive on that, but so many little kids do, that I think it might be hardwired into them. If mine gets a nap at the wrong time, even, she can get all out of sorts.
Do you think that reinforcing a reliance on routine and sameness is appropriate? Routines are a wonderful tool for helping a child learn good behaviours but as one grows we must be encouraging an ability to adapt to change and be flexible; this is crucial in our modern world. Otherwise we end up with countries full of opinionated, blinkered bigots unable to take a view of other perspectives and lacking in imagination. Any countries spring to mind?
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 06:50:01 AM
Quote from: Stevil on April 09, 2012, 06:35:53 AM
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Mine's like this too. Friends who have kids around that age also seem to experience the same thing - the kids wanting routines, regular habits, etc. I don't know if all kids thrive on that, but so many little kids do, that I think it might be hardwired into them. If mine gets a nap at the wrong time, even, she can get all out of sorts.
Do you think that reinforcing a reliance on routine and sameness is appropriate? Routines are a wonderful tool for helping a child learn good behaviours but as one grows we must be encouraging an ability to adapt to change and be flexible; this is crucial in our modern world. Otherwise we end up with countries full of opinionated, blinkered bigots unable to take a view of other perspectives and lacking in imagination. Any countries spring to mind?
Personally I think routine is very important to a young mind. It's the 'grammer' of existence and the framework of learning. My grandson knows his getting up routine. So he goes to play school where there is tons of free flow play but he knows that when he gets home it's doggies!! dinner, bath, bed. Dogmatic routine with no free flow play or variety is a problem, but IMO a structured day is basically a good thing while kids are young. Also consider how an adult house would run without routine. It's a part of life and if everybody did everything they wanted when they liked how would anything ever get done in modern society? Who would get in the shower first?
Quote from: Tank on April 09, 2012, 08:41:38 AM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 06:50:01 AM
Quote from: Stevil on April 09, 2012, 06:35:53 AM
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Mine's like this too. Friends who have kids around that age also seem to experience the same thing - the kids wanting routines, regular habits, etc. I don't know if all kids thrive on that, but so many little kids do, that I think it might be hardwired into them. If mine gets a nap at the wrong time, even, she can get all out of sorts.
Do you think that reinforcing a reliance on routine and sameness is appropriate? Routines are a wonderful tool for helping a child learn good behaviours but as one grows we must be encouraging an ability to adapt to change and be flexible; this is crucial in our modern world. Otherwise we end up with countries full of opinionated, blinkered bigots unable to take a view of other perspectives and lacking in imagination. Any countries spring to mind?
Personally I think routine is very important to a young mind. It's the 'grammer' of existence and the framework of learning. My grandson knows his getting up routine. So he goes to play school where there is tons of free flow play but he knows that when he gets home it's doggies!! dinner, bath, bed. Dogmatic routine with no free flow play or variety is a problem, but IMO a structured day is basically a good thing while kids are young. Also consider how an adult house would run without routine. It's a part of life and if everybody did everything they wanted when they liked how would anything ever get done in modern society? Who would get in the shower first?
I have nothing against structure, of course, but when that manifests in the individual as obsessive, blind ritual we must be careful of reinforcement by indulgence. Throw them a 'googlie' and they're lost. This is not free-thinking.
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 09:40:22 AM
Quote from: Tank on April 09, 2012, 08:41:38 AM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 06:50:01 AM
Quote from: Stevil on April 09, 2012, 06:35:53 AM
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Mine's like this too. Friends who have kids around that age also seem to experience the same thing - the kids wanting routines, regular habits, etc. I don't know if all kids thrive on that, but so many little kids do, that I think it might be hardwired into them. If mine gets a nap at the wrong time, even, she can get all out of sorts.
Do you think that reinforcing a reliance on routine and sameness is appropriate? Routines are a wonderful tool for helping a child learn good behaviours but as one grows we must be encouraging an ability to adapt to change and be flexible; this is crucial in our modern world. Otherwise we end up with countries full of opinionated, blinkered bigots unable to take a view of other perspectives and lacking in imagination. Any countries spring to mind?
Personally I think routine is very important to a young mind. It's the 'grammer' of existence and the framework of learning. My grandson knows his getting up routine. So he goes to play school where there is tons of free flow play but he knows that when he gets home it's doggies!! dinner, bath, bed. Dogmatic routine with no free flow play or variety is a problem, but IMO a structured day is basically a good thing while kids are young. Also consider how an adult house would run without routine. It's a part of life and if everybody did everything they wanted when they liked how would anything ever get done in modern society? Who would get in the shower first?
I have nothing against structure, of course, but when that manifests in the individual as obsessive, blind ritual we must be careful of reinforcement by indulgence. Throw them a 'googlie' and they're lost. This is not free-thinking.
I think we are in violent agreement ;D
Quote from: Tank on April 09, 2012, 09:55:39 AM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 09:40:22 AM
Quote from: Tank on April 09, 2012, 08:41:38 AM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 06:50:01 AM
Quote from: Stevil on April 09, 2012, 06:35:53 AM
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Mine's like this too. Friends who have kids around that age also seem to experience the same thing - the kids wanting routines, regular habits, etc. I don't know if all kids thrive on that, but so many little kids do, that I think it might be hardwired into them. If mine gets a nap at the wrong time, even, she can get all out of sorts.
Do you think that reinforcing a reliance on routine and sameness is appropriate? Routines are a wonderful tool for helping a child learn good behaviours but as one grows we must be encouraging an ability to adapt to change and be flexible; this is crucial in our modern world. Otherwise we end up with countries full of opinionated, blinkered bigots unable to take a view of other perspectives and lacking in imagination. Any countries spring to mind?
Personally I think routine is very important to a young mind. It's the 'grammer' of existence and the framework of learning. My grandson knows his getting up routine. So he goes to play school where there is tons of free flow play but he knows that when he gets home it's doggies!! dinner, bath, bed. Dogmatic routine with no free flow play or variety is a problem, but IMO a structured day is basically a good thing while kids are young. Also consider how an adult house would run without routine. It's a part of life and if everybody did everything they wanted when they liked how would anything ever get done in modern society? Who would get in the shower first?
I have nothing against structure, of course, but when that manifests in the individual as obsessive, blind ritual we must be careful of reinforcement by indulgence. Throw them a 'googlie' and they're lost. This is not free-thinking.
I think we are in violent agreement ;D
I know how painful that admission must have been for you... :D
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 10:15:03 AM
Quote from: Tank on April 09, 2012, 09:55:39 AM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 09:40:22 AM
Quote from: Tank on April 09, 2012, 08:41:38 AM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 08:26:27 AM
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 06:50:01 AM
Quote from: Stevil on April 09, 2012, 06:35:53 AM
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Mine's like this too. Friends who have kids around that age also seem to experience the same thing - the kids wanting routines, regular habits, etc. I don't know if all kids thrive on that, but so many little kids do, that I think it might be hardwired into them. If mine gets a nap at the wrong time, even, she can get all out of sorts.
Do you think that reinforcing a reliance on routine and sameness is appropriate? Routines are a wonderful tool for helping a child learn good behaviours but as one grows we must be encouraging an ability to adapt to change and be flexible; this is crucial in our modern world. Otherwise we end up with countries full of opinionated, blinkered bigots unable to take a view of other perspectives and lacking in imagination. Any countries spring to mind?
Personally I think routine is very important to a young mind. It's the 'grammer' of existence and the framework of learning. My grandson knows his getting up routine. So he goes to play school where there is tons of free flow play but he knows that when he gets home it's doggies!! dinner, bath, bed. Dogmatic routine with no free flow play or variety is a problem, but IMO a structured day is basically a good thing while kids are young. Also consider how an adult house would run without routine. It's a part of life and if everybody did everything they wanted when they liked how would anything ever get done in modern society? Who would get in the shower first?
I have nothing against structure, of course, but when that manifests in the individual as obsessive, blind ritual we must be careful of reinforcement by indulgence. Throw them a 'googlie' and they're lost. This is not free-thinking.
I think we are in violent agreement ;D
I know how painful that admission must have been for you... :D
That folks was a perfect example of projection. ;)
Ah, you two. ;D
I think it's REALLY important for life to be predictable for small children. They thrive on routine and doing things in a known, precise order. I'm totally fine with indulging that as much as possible. It doesn't mean that life will always be predictable, and it doesn't mean you're an absolute slave to a schedule... but it does mean that as often as possible, I think it's good to make little ones feel as secure as possible. The early years (under 4 or 5) really set the pattern for their later growing up years, I think. If they learn they can trust us to be predictable when they're little, they'll trust us to help them navigate life whenever it becomes a lot less predictable. I just think it's a good foundation, the same way you start babies off on milk, gradually go to pablum/baby food and then more solid food. It's a slow ramping up process. Little kids don't know the world's so complicated, they need to find out in slow steps, I think.
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 03:55:15 PM
Ah, you two. ;D
I think it's REALLY important for life to be predictable for small children. They thrive on routine and doing things in a known, precise order. I'm totally fine with indulging that as much as possible. It doesn't mean that life will always be predictable, and it doesn't mean you're an absolute slave to a schedule... but it does mean that as often as possible, I think it's good to make little ones feel as secure as possible. The early years (under 4 or 5) really set the pattern for their later growing up years, I think. If they learn they can trust us to be predictable when they're little, they'll trust us to help them navigate life whenever it becomes a lot less predictable. I just think it's a good foundation, the same way you start babies off on milk, gradually go to pablum/baby food and then more solid food. It's a slow ramping up process. Little kids don't know the world's so complicated, they need to find out in slow steps, I think.
I agree with this. Which is not to say that we never deviate from our schedule. Life happens, and we certainly roll with it. But I do try to provide structure for T as I can, and it does seem to be a comfort for him to know what to expect and what is expected.
Amicale, A still naps? *Jealous* I used to live for naptime on the weekends because I love to nap too! That became part of
my routine, put T down for his nap, and then go lay in bed with a book until I drifted off. It was wonderful. Then he stopped napping. >:(
Quote from: Ali on April 09, 2012, 04:07:22 PM
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 03:55:15 PM
Ah, you two. ;D
I think it's REALLY important for life to be predictable for small children. They thrive on routine and doing things in a known, precise order. I'm totally fine with indulging that as much as possible. It doesn't mean that life will always be predictable, and it doesn't mean you're an absolute slave to a schedule... but it does mean that as often as possible, I think it's good to make little ones feel as secure as possible. The early years (under 4 or 5) really set the pattern for their later growing up years, I think. If they learn they can trust us to be predictable when they're little, they'll trust us to help them navigate life whenever it becomes a lot less predictable. I just think it's a good foundation, the same way you start babies off on milk, gradually go to pablum/baby food and then more solid food. It's a slow ramping up process. Little kids don't know the world's so complicated, they need to find out in slow steps, I think.
I agree with this. Which is not to say that we never deviate from our schedule. Life happens, and we certainly roll with it. But I do try to provide structure for T as I can, and it does seem to be a comfort for him to know what to expect and what is expected.
Amicale, A still naps? *Jealous* I used to live for naptime on the weekends because I love to nap too! That became part of my routine, put T down for his nap, and then go lay in bed with a book until I drifted off. It was wonderful. Then he stopped napping. >:(
Yup, agreed on the structure as much as possible but rolling with life as it happens! It slowly introduces them to inconveniences, aka most of reality. :D
And yes, she still naps. It was funny, she HATED to nap when she was a bit younger, but by the time she was two and a half, she'd started wanting a nap... so really, I've only had a year and a half of naptime, not nearly 4. :D
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 10:15:03 AM
Quote from: Tank on April 09, 2012, 09:55:39 AM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 09, 2012, 09:40:22 AM
Quote from: Tank on April 09, 2012, 08:41:38 AM
I have nothing against structure, of course, but when that manifests in the individual as obsessive, blind ritual we must be careful of reinforcement by indulgence. Throw them a 'googlie' and they're lost. This is not free-thinking.
I think we are in violent agreement ;D
I know how painful that admission must have been for you... :D
That folks was a perfect example of projection. ;)
But..but...but... Doh!
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 06:30:56 AM
No need to stress too much all at once. Just answer questions over time as they come. Kids ask when they're ready for an answer, usually -- we all do that. And most of life won't come down to religious talks, it'll come down to family time, going on outings, shopping, tucking the kids in at night, etc... just the mundane stuff that makes being a mommy so rewarding.
Yes, I agree. I just had an instance today with my son. He's never really cared about how babies are made and all that. But, today, just out of the blue he asked how the baby bird gets inside the egg!! I was really pleased that he has started to think about these things. And, we got online and I tried explaining it to him in a way a 5 year old could understand. It was cool. I never would have thought to have a talk about how birds make babies, but that's what he wanted to know about.
Quote from: Amicale on April 09, 2012, 06:30:56 AM
Also, since your husband does believe in God, if he WANTS to say grace with the kids occasionally, I'm not really sure it would hurt, if it means a lot to him.
Yea, I told him it was cool. But, my husband is a very quiet (with regards to God, and etc) type of a person and he's never been much for praying as a family anyways. So, it's worked itself out. I used to usually remind him to pray. But, now I just don't say anything and he doesn't pray.
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Quote from: Stevil on April 09, 2012, 06:35:53 AM
Great job Asherah.
Fantastic tie in to nature and the seasons.
About your kid asking about prayer at food time, my three year old is a creature of habit, if we miss a step, she reminds us of the missing step.
Thanks, Stevil. That is so true about habit. She reminds me on other occasions that I've missed a step. I'm relieved to know she hasn't developed some sort of need for prayer. ;D