Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

[Recusant]

[Recusant]

Pa: But those lovely little marsupials should be OK, they're good at hiding, let's ask a desert bandicoot.
Ma: Eaten by foxes and cats.
Pa: But how? there were no foxes and cats on that continent.
Ma: People love animals and they couldn't bare to be without their cats.
Pa: Ah, and foxes do humans also enjoy the company of foxes?
Ma: No foxes are fun to kill, people can't be without their sport.
Pa: Oh well the formidable thylacine, they'd hold their own with foxes and cats.
Ma: They were cruel killers of sheep, couldn't let them get away with that.
Pa: Haven't any of the other intelligent species taken humans to task for their actions?
Ma: Dolphins sometimes try.
Pa: So what did the humans say?
Ma: I don't think they understood, didn't say anything, they consider it impolite to talk with a full mouth.
Pa: Do you think we should approach them?
      Why are you showing me that picture?
      Isn't that us on our wedding night?
Ma: No
Pa: Us after our 500th wedding anniversary celebration?
Ma: No it is a common human meal, Spaghetti and Bolognese sauce.
Pa: Oh.

does this make any sense to anybody?

Yes, it's dry and wry, unlike Ma and Pa.

[Dark Lightning]

I'm not even going to try to understand this. It looks to be MarcusA-like illogic.

[Asmodean]

How do you tell the difference between a nerd and someone into BDSM?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Credit: Shadiversity, which may or may not have borrowed it from elsewhere. Whatever the case, The Asmo greatly approves.

[Tank]

Than made me chortle.

[The Magic Pudding..]

Pa: But those lovely little marsupials should be OK, they're good at hiding, let's ask a desert bandicoot.
Ma: Eaten by foxes and cats.
Pa: But how? there were no foxes and cats on that continent.
Ma: People love animals and they couldn't bare to be without their cats.
Pa: Ah, and foxes do humans also enjoy the company of foxes?
Ma: No foxes are fun to kill, people can't be without their sport.
Pa: Oh well the formidable thylacine, they'd hold their own with foxes and cats.
Ma: They were cruel killers of sheep, couldn't let them get away with that.
Pa: Haven't any of the other intelligent species taken humans to task for their actions?
Ma: Dolphins sometimes try.
Pa: So what did the humans say?
Ma: I don't think they understood, didn't say anything, they consider it impolite to talk with a full mouth.
Pa: Do you think we should approach them?
      Why are you showing me that picture?
      Isn't that us on our wedding night?
Ma: No
Pa: Us after our 500th wedding anniversary celebration?
Ma: No it is a common human meal, Spaghetti and Bolognese sauce.
Pa: Oh.

does this make any sense to anybody?

Yes, it's dry and wry, unlike Ma and Pa.

Geez, I get much more incomprehensible than that these days.
Ma and Pa are galactic travellers, they visited Oz long ago, Ma is explaining the demise of various critters.
They may be related to the FSM 

[Asmodean]

Than made me chortle.

Check these out. Pure, light-hearted fun.

[PantsNotTrousers]

A duck walks into a bar and asks for some crackers.
The barman says, "we don't have any, would you like a drink?"
"No," says the duck.

The next day the duck comes back asking for crackers, the barman explains that they don't have any once again.

This continues for a week.

The barman frustrated says on the last day, "if you come back asking for crackers, I'll nail your feet to the floor.

The duck comes back a couple weeks later, he walks in and asks, "do you have any nails?"

Confused, the Barman says, "no..."

The duck then asks, "well then, do you have any crackers?!?"

[PantsNotTrousers]

Pa: But those lovely little marsupials should be OK, they're good at hiding, let's ask a desert bandicoot.
Ma: Eaten by foxes and cats.
Pa: But how? there were no foxes and cats on that continent.
Ma: People love animals and they couldn't bare to be without their cats.
Pa: Ah, and foxes do humans also enjoy the company of foxes?
Ma: No foxes are fun to kill, people can't be without their sport.
Pa: Oh well the formidable thylacine, they'd hold their own with foxes and cats.
Ma: They were cruel killers of sheep, couldn't let them get away with that.
Pa: Haven't any of the other intelligent species taken humans to task for their actions?
Ma: Dolphins sometimes try.
Pa: So what did the humans say?
Ma: I don't think they understood, didn't say anything, they consider it impolite to talk with a full mouth.
Pa: Do you think we should approach them?
      Why are you showing me that picture?
      Isn't that us on our wedding night?
Ma: No
Pa: Us after our 500th wedding anniversary celebration?
Ma: No it is a common human meal, Spaghetti and Bolognese sauce.
Pa: Oh.

does this make any sense to anybody?

No. I assume this alien couple looks like spaghetti bolengese and they're afraid of being eaten by humans? But I'm not sure.

[Tank]

A duck walks into a bar and asks for some crackers.
The barman says, "we don't have any, would you like a drink?"
"No," says the duck.

The next day the duck comes back asking for crackers, the barman explains that they don't have any once again.

This continues for a week.

The barman frustrated says on the last day, "if you come back asking for crackers, I'll nail your feet to the floor.

The duck comes back a couple weeks later, he walks in and asks, "do you have any nails?"

Confused, the Barman says, "no..."

The duck then asks, "well then, do you have any crackers?!?"

Added to Facebook!

[Ecurb Noselrub]

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, something is wrong. I think I'm a moth."

Doc says "Why did you come to see me? I'm a gynecologist!"

Guy says "Your light was on."

[Tank]

[Icarus]

[Tank]

Oh dear, you finally worked out how to post links and that is the use you put it to? How old are you? 5?

[Icarus]

5^2.81625