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Community => Life As An Atheist => Topic started by: Dobermonster on April 17, 2012, 09:43:18 PM

Title: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Dobermonster on April 17, 2012, 09:43:18 PM
I thought I had this issue pretty well down - I don't normally take offense if I'm unwell and someone tells me they'll pray for me. To me it just means they're thinking about me and want to do something that feels like helping. I just say 'thank you' and smile in return. Now . . . when these particular people *know* you're an atheist, and feel compelled to end every conversation with "I'll be praying for you!", well, it just started to get on my nerves a bit. Especially when they send their pastor by to also pray for you . . . twice . . . and give you scripture verses . . . honestly I was gritting my teeth and forcing a smile by the end of it, mostly to concentrate on something other than saying something I might regret. What's a polite but firm way to deflect this kind of thing?
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Tank on April 17, 2012, 09:48:10 PM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 17, 2012, 09:43:18 PM
What's a polite but firm way to deflect this kind of thing?
'I'd rather you donated $10 to 'insert atheist charity here' thank you.' And don't forget to smile  ;D
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Ali on April 17, 2012, 10:02:26 PM
I think a simple "Thank you, but that's not necessary" with a beautific smile gets the point across.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sweetdeath on April 18, 2012, 04:02:31 AM
Ugh rude... Especially if they   know you're an atheist. I would go with Tank's suggestion.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on April 18, 2012, 04:10:01 AM
How about "You can pray for me, but I'd rather you don't pray TO me"  ;D
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: ThinkAnarchy on April 18, 2012, 04:18:05 AM
You should tell them as a thank you, you will talk with Satan on their behalf.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: keithpenrod on April 18, 2012, 04:29:33 AM
I say live and let live.  As long as they want to just pray for me and do their own thing, I'm happy.  If they want to tell me they're praying for me, just because they hope that will comfort me, I'm okay with that too.  If they're being as aggressive about it as you say they are, I would have no problem telling them exactly how I feel about their religion because at that point they're not "letting live".  They're not allowing me to follow my chosen path--of non-religion. 

So, if I had a friend send their pastor to me, I would have no problem telling the pastor that I will never convert to any religion that believes in fairy tales such as a supernatural being.  And, if they gave scripture verses, I would have no qualm with letting them know exactly what I thought of the passages.  Some passages of scripture I find to be wise, and others foolish, so it would depend on which passage they shared.  I think that this is a polite method because I am letting them know how I feel so that they can make better decisions based on that information.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: OldGit on April 18, 2012, 09:25:27 AM
I always say I'd rather they didn't pray for me; not because prayer can have any effect on me, but because I'd rather not be the cause of them degrading themselves by grovelling to some ludicrous imaginary totem pole.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Asmodean on April 18, 2012, 10:36:34 AM
"Don't pray for me. Pray to me, ASSHOLE!  >:( "

"...Generous donations of coin to The Bank of I are also accepted."

...That's what I say. Or some variation - I have several with varying degree of political correctness and intended hurtfulness.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: The Magic Pudding on April 18, 2012, 10:40:01 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 18, 2012, 10:36:34 AM
"Don't pray for me. Pray to me, ASSHOLE!  >:( "


I thought you might say that.
It gives you the chance to scornfully disregard their requests.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Asmodean on April 18, 2012, 12:07:11 PM
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on April 18, 2012, 10:40:01 AM
I thought you might say that.
It gives you the chance to scornfully disregard their requests.
Precisely. Then The Asmo can put on an even more Asmo-like expression than usual, take a long pause and say "NO.  >:( "
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Jimmy on April 18, 2012, 05:18:37 PM
I usually don't say anything and sometimes that says a lot.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: keithpenrod on April 18, 2012, 06:31:34 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 18, 2012, 12:07:11 PM
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on April 18, 2012, 10:40:01 AM
I thought you might say that.
It gives you the chance to scornfully disregard their requests.
Precisely. Then The Asmo can put on an even more Asmo-like expression than usual, take a long pause and say "NO.  >:( "

Asmo?
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on April 18, 2012, 07:07:14 PM
Quote from: keithpenrod on April 18, 2012, 06:31:34 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 18, 2012, 12:07:11 PM
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on April 18, 2012, 10:40:01 AM
I thought you might say that.
It gives you the chance to scornfully disregard their requests.
Precisely. Then The Asmo can put on an even more Asmo-like expression than usual, take a long pause and say "NO.  >:( "

Asmo?

Asmodean likes to refer to himself in the third person as "Asmo" a lot.   ;)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: The Magic Pudding on April 18, 2012, 07:16:18 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 18, 2012, 12:07:11 PM
Precisely. Then The Asmo can put on an even more Asmo-like expression than usual, take a long pause and say "NO.  >:( "

Or not even bother.

There's power in the not even bothering.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Asmodean on April 18, 2012, 07:36:37 PM
Quote from: The Magic Pudding on April 18, 2012, 07:16:18 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 18, 2012, 12:07:11 PM
Precisely. Then The Asmo can put on an even more Asmo-like expression than usual, take a long pause and say "NO.  >:( "

Or not even bother.

There's power in the not even bothering.
Yes. Great power. But there is also great satisfaction in "... ... NO.  >:( "
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: history_geek on April 18, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Or someone could try what Hitchens apparently did.

Religious person: "I'll pray for you"
Hitchens: "And I'll think for you"

That might confuse a few for a moment or two to give you time to slip away...
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: keithpenrod on April 18, 2012, 10:57:57 PM
Quote from: history_geek on April 18, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Or someone could try what Hitchens apparently did.

Religious person: "I'll pray for you"
Hitchens: "And I'll think for you"

That might confuse a few for a moment or two to give you time to slip away...

I am definitely using that.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: AnimatedDirt on April 18, 2012, 11:07:28 PM

If you sneezed in public and some random person said, "Bless you." and didn't give you a second look; does this also raise feelings of scorn towards them for forcing their Theism on *you?
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 12:30:49 AM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 18, 2012, 11:07:28 PM

If you sneezed in public and some random person said, "Bless you." and didn't give you a second look; does this also raise feelings of scorn towards them for forcing their Theism on *you?

Interesting that you equate a polite expression with a desire to intermediate between and individual and God. If there are still people out there who say "Bless you" and mean "I instill a blessing upon you to prevent evil spirits from entering your nostrils", I haven't met them.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sweetdeath on April 19, 2012, 12:46:19 AM
Quote from: history_geek on April 18, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Or someone could try what Hitchens apparently did.

Religious person: "I'll pray for you"
Hitchens: "And I'll think for you"

That might confuse a few for a moment or two to give you time to slip away...

I am so using this! :D
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sandra Craft on April 19, 2012, 01:35:56 AM
Quote from: history_geek on April 18, 2012, 09:13:42 PM
Or someone could try what Hitchens apparently did.

Religious person: "I'll pray for you"
Hitchens: "And I'll think for you"

That might confuse a few for a moment or two to give you time to slip away...

That's a great comeback but I couldn't use it -- I can barely think for myself, never mind other people.  And anyway I don't really care if anyone is praying for me and says so, so my response is usually "thank you" (because 9 times out of 10 it's kindly meant) or if I'm in a flippant mood, "couldn't hurt!" (because it couldn't, and might do them some good).
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: The Magic Pudding on April 19, 2012, 02:40:16 AM
I don't think there is a god.
If there is I've said things it wouldn't like.
Maybe god isn't omni everything.
Those ancient wise guys thinking up their gods,
they remind of children, oh ye well my robot has laser eyes.
Oh ye well mine has anti laser eyes and a big hammer that pops out of its ear!
My robot is infinitely powerful so nerrr.
Mines double infinitely powerful (blows raspberry).
Anyway leave me out of your prayers.
On the off chance there is a god maybe he won't notice me.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: hismikeness on April 19, 2012, 05:15:44 AM
I've pointed out to people, when they say they'll pray for something on my behalf, that I'd prefer they not attempt to sway the natural order of things in my favor.

I will use an exaggerated bow, martial arts style, with my hands clasped as a thanks to them.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: history_geek on April 19, 2012, 06:53:50 AM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 12:30:49 AM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 18, 2012, 11:07:28 PM

If you sneezed in public and some random person said, "Bless you." and didn't give you a second look; does this also raise feelings of scorn towards them for forcing their Theism on *you?

Interesting that you equate a polite expression with a desire to intermediate between and individual and God. If there are still people out there who say "Bless you" and mean "I instill a blessing upon you to prevent evil spirits from entering your nostrils", I haven't met them.

In Finnish we never "bless" anyone for sneezing. Or at least not many that I have heard of. Instead we say "Terveydeksi" ("For health" or "To health").

And I definitely have to use hismikeness' idea. ;D Sounds fun, even if there might be a small possibility that people would think that I'm Buddhist or something... :-\
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: OldGit on April 19, 2012, 09:08:41 AM
As in German, where one says Gesundheit (health).

Dobermonster is right, I think - "Bless you!" after a sneeze is merely an empty formulaic tradition, whereas when they say they'll pray for you, it actually announces an unwelcome act.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Asmodean on April 19, 2012, 09:11:28 AM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 18, 2012, 11:07:28 PM

If you sneezed in public and some random person said, "Bless you." and didn't give you a second look; does this also raise feelings of scorn towards them for forcing their Theism on *you?
Depends. If the person is a total stranger who has never spoken to me prior to giving that useless sneeze response, (s)he would get some minor scorn for responding to an act that demands no response at all. It's like commenting me on scratching my beard - WHY?!
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 03:51:23 PM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 12:30:49 AM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 18, 2012, 11:07:28 PM

If you sneezed in public and some random person said, "Bless you." and didn't give you a second look; does this also raise feelings of scorn towards them for forcing their Theism on *you?

Interesting that you equate a polite expression with a desire to intermediate between and individual and God. If there are still people out there who say "Bless you" and mean "I instill a blessing upon you to prevent evil spirits from entering your nostrils", I haven't met them.

I didn't equate it.  I asked if it was equally scorned.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 06:16:43 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 03:51:23 PM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 12:30:49 AM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 18, 2012, 11:07:28 PM

If you sneezed in public and some random person said, "Bless you." and didn't give you a second look; does this also raise feelings of scorn towards them for forcing their Theism on *you?

Interesting that you equate a polite expression with a desire to intermediate between and individual and God. If there are still people out there who say "Bless you" and mean "I instill a blessing upon you to prevent evil spirits from entering your nostrils", I haven't met them.

I didn't equate it.  I asked if it was equally scorned.

Oh ok. Then no, because it's in no way equally comparable.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 07:15:53 PM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 06:16:43 PM
Oh ok. Then no, because it's in no way equally comparable.

Now I know what I can say and not offend the Atheist.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Tank on April 19, 2012, 07:24:53 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 07:15:53 PM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 06:16:43 PM
Oh ok. Then no, because it's in no way equally comparable.

Now I know what I can say and not offend the Atheist.
That would depend on the context, delivery style and your prior relationship with the atheist in question and how you would know they're an atheist in the first place. We don't all have horns nor wear a red A symbol  ;D
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: technolud on April 19, 2012, 07:29:25 PM
Oh, is that what the Red "A"s are for.  Always wondered.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Tank on April 19, 2012, 07:33:18 PM
Quote from: technolud on April 19, 2012, 07:29:25 PM
Oh, is that what the Red "A"s are for.  Always wondered.
It used to mean adulteress but fell out of fashion and was resurrected (how inappropriate) by atheists.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: ThinkAnarchy on April 19, 2012, 07:39:15 PM
Quote from: Tank on April 19, 2012, 07:33:18 PM
Quote from: technolud on April 19, 2012, 07:29:25 PM
Oh, is that what the Red "A"s are for.  Always wondered.
It used to mean adulteress but fell out of fashion and was resurrected (how inappropriate) by atheists.


Yeah, and here is a free online copy of The Scarlet Letter if anyone wants to read or reread it.

http://www.kids4classics.com/nathaniel_hawthorne/The-Scarlet-Letter.php
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 08:10:48 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 07:15:53 PM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 06:16:43 PM
Oh ok. Then no, because it's in no way equally comparable.

Now I know what I can say and not offend the Atheist.

As I said in the original post, I'm not typically offended by someone saying they want to pray on my behalf (assuming it wasn't a "Oh you poor atheist, I'll pray that God will save your soul", which I find offensive in that it's patronizing and disrespectful). It's the repetitive, overt "I'm praying for you . . . I'm praying for you... Oh, I'm still praying for you, and by the way, my pastor will be by to also pray for you and tell you scriptures out of a book I know you view as inherently offensive."
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 08:27:00 PM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 08:10:48 PM
As I said in the original post, I'm not typically offended by someone saying they want to pray on my behalf (assuming it wasn't a "Oh you poor atheist, I'll pray that God will save your soul", which I find offensive in that it's patronizing and disrespectful). It's the repetitive, overt "I'm praying for you . . . I'm praying for you... Oh, I'm still praying for you, and by the way, my pastor will be by to also pray for you and tell you scriptures out of a book I know you view as inherently offensive."

I get it.  In context of your point, I wouldn't say such a thing to someone I know is angered or offended at me saying, "I'll pray for you."  Lucky for me, the Atheist friends I do have have no issue whatsoever.  (I asked one over the weekend and another yesterday) Useless, yes, but not something to be angry or offended at.  I need to ask one more to complete my survey.  :)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 08:32:08 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 08:27:00 PM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 19, 2012, 08:10:48 PM
As I said in the original post, I'm not typically offended by someone saying they want to pray on my behalf (assuming it wasn't a "Oh you poor atheist, I'll pray that God will save your soul", which I find offensive in that it's patronizing and disrespectful). It's the repetitive, overt "I'm praying for you . . . I'm praying for you... Oh, I'm still praying for you, and by the way, my pastor will be by to also pray for you and tell you scriptures out of a book I know you view as inherently offensive."

I get it.  In context of your point, I wouldn't say such a thing to someone I know is angered or offended at me saying, "I'll pray for you."  Lucky for me, the Atheist friends I do have have no issue whatsoever.  (I asked one over the weekend and another yesterday) Useless, yes, but not something to be angry or offended at.  I need to ask one more to complete my survey.  :)

Maybe a good idea for a forum poll? I think most would not be offended.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: ThinkAnarchy on April 19, 2012, 08:35:43 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 08:27:00 PM

I get it.  In context of your point, I wouldn't say such a thing to someone I know is angered or offended at me saying, "I'll pray for you."  Lucky for me, the Atheist friends I do have have no issue whatsoever.  (I asked one over the weekend and another yesterday) Useless, yes, but not something to be angry or offended at.  I need to ask one more to complete my survey.  :)

It depends on why the friend is praying for me. If it's something they obviously can't help with, I simply let it go and am happy they care about me. If I'm bitching about having to move, and they say they will pray for a good peaceful move, I would have to ask why they don't just volunteer to help me.  :)

I'm sure your other friend won't care either. I think most of us realize when those words are uttered from a position of love or simply social norm as opposed to, "you can't get through what your dealing with unless I ask god to help you."
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 08:56:12 PM
Quote from: ThinkAnarchy on April 19, 2012, 08:35:43 PM
It depends on why the friend is praying for me. If it's something they obviously can't help with, I simply let it go and am happy they care about me. If I'm bitching about having to move, and they say they will pray for a good peaceful move, I would have to ask why they don't just volunteer to help me.  :)

Then the better question is if they really are a friend.

Quote from: ThinkAnarchyI'm sure your other friend won't care either. I think most of us realize when those words are uttered from a position of love or simply social norm as opposed to, "you can't get through what your dealing with unless I ask god to help you."

Agreed.  However, some here still take the angry side of this and call even this rude (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=9797.msg166047#msg166047) or seemingly resort to name-calling (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=9797.msg166088#msg166088).

I can see it can be offending to some degree and certainly in certain contexts, but I dare say more times than not, the sentiment is from the heart and not meant to offend at all.  Ignorance might even be at play, but to respond in anger or disdain for words meant to convey concern and care? 
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: ThinkAnarchy on April 19, 2012, 09:02:41 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 08:56:12 PM
Quote from: ThinkAnarchy on April 19, 2012, 08:35:43 PM
It depends on why the friend is praying for me. If it's something they obviously can't help with, I simply let it go and am happy they care about me. If I'm bitching about having to move, and they say they will pray for a good peaceful move, I would have to ask why they don't just volunteer to help me.  :)

Then the better question is if they really are a friend.

Quote from: ThinkAnarchyI'm sure your other friend won't care either. I think most of us realize when those words are uttered from a position of love or simply social norm as opposed to, "you can't get through what your dealing with unless I ask god to help you."

Agreed.  However, some here still take the angry side of this and call even this rude (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=9797.msg166047#msg166047) or seemingly resort to name-calling (http://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/index.php?topic=9797.msg166088#msg166088).

I can see it can be offending to some degree and certainly in certain contexts, but I dare say more times than not, the sentiment is from the heart and not meant to offend at all.  Ignorance might even be at play, but to respond in anger or disdain for words meant to convey concern and care?  

I can't speak for everyone, but I imagine like with my Satan comment, they only would like to say those things to the condescending Christians.

I at least hope must of us are capable of judging the motivation behind the words. Granted, if I'm caught on a bad day, I might take offense to something that is harmless and was meant with the best of intentions.

The thing that pisses me off, even when it comes from a positive place, is when people pray for me to find Jesus. It is much better than continuing the conversation about god though, so I typically just let it go, but I'm sure my face expresses what I'm thinking.

Edit: Which seems to be the thing OP was complaining about, which I forgot because I read it a few days ago.  :)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: technolud on April 19, 2012, 09:13:48 PM
First, is it true that red "A"s are used to identify atheists?  I was totally joking about that.  How bizarre.  Where can you get them?  I can put it next to the Darwin fish on my Civic.

Second, I'm not offended if someone wants to pray for me.  I think 99% of the time they are just trying to help in thier own way.  I would be offended if someone demanded that I pray.  I want to be able to believe what I believe.  So it should be OK for them to believe what they believe.

Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Tank on April 19, 2012, 09:17:01 PM
This is the origin and should explain what's going on The Out Campaign (http://outcampaign.org/)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Stevil on April 19, 2012, 11:58:38 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 08:27:00 PM
I get it.  In context of your point, I wouldn't say such a thing to someone I know is angered or offended at me saying, "I'll pray for you."  Lucky for me, the Atheist friends I do have have no issue whatsoever.  (I asked one over the weekend and another yesterday) Useless, yes, but not something to be angry or offended at.  I need to ask one more to complete my survey.  :)
But do you really need to say it? Do those that are being prayed for need to know that they are being prayed for? A religious person might appreciate your action of prayer, they might believe that you are actually helping them, it might actually give them warm fuzzies.

But do you really need to tell the atheist? It does put them in a strange position, are they expected to thank you? Would they feel obliged to respond to the statement in some way or would it be an awkward social moment if they didn't respond or acknowledge your statement?
If you are going to pray for the atheist then do it, they don't really need to be told do they?
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Dobermonster on April 20, 2012, 01:08:24 AM
Quote from: Stevil on April 19, 2012, 11:58:38 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 08:27:00 PM
I get it.  In context of your point, I wouldn't say such a thing to someone I know is angered or offended at me saying, "I'll pray for you."  Lucky for me, the Atheist friends I do have have no issue whatsoever.  (I asked one over the weekend and another yesterday) Useless, yes, but not something to be angry or offended at.  I need to ask one more to complete my survey.  :)
But do you really need to say it? Do those that are being prayed for need to know that they are being prayed for? A religious person might appreciate your action of prayer, they might believe that you are actually helping them, it might actually give them warm fuzzies.

But do you really need to tell the atheist? It does put them in a strange position, are they expected to thank you? Would they feel obliged to respond to the statement in some way or would it be an awkward social moment if they didn't respond or acknowledge your statement?
If you are going to pray for the atheist then do it, they don't really need to be told do they?

It does seem to create an awkward situation . . . like when the pastor told me 'God bless you' a couple times. I know if I were a Christian, the response would be to say 'God bless you' back, but all I had to really say was, "Uh huh".
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sandra Craft on April 20, 2012, 02:00:32 AM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 20, 2012, 01:08:24 AM
It does seem to create an awkward situation . . . like when the pastor told me 'God bless you' a couple times. I know if I were a Christian, the response would be to say 'God bless you' back, but all I had to really say was, "Uh huh".

I think "thank you" works as a response here, since he's essentially wishing you well.  Maybe it would depend on how well you and the pastor knew each other -- would he respond well to a wish that he be touched by a noodly appendage?  Or maybe you could just say "ramen!" and let let the other person puzzle it out.

Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Dobermonster on April 20, 2012, 02:23:41 AM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on April 20, 2012, 02:00:32 AM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 20, 2012, 01:08:24 AM
It does seem to create an awkward situation . . . like when the pastor told me 'God bless you' a couple times. I know if I were a Christian, the response would be to say 'God bless you' back, but all I had to really say was, "Uh huh".

I think "thank you" works as a response here, since he's essentially wishing you well.  Maybe it would depend on how well you and the pastor knew each other -- would he respond well to a wish that he be touched by a noodly appendage?  Or maybe you could just say "ramen!" and let let the other person puzzle it out.



I did say thank you the first time, and then he said it again in a way that was sort of expecting something more, which just got a 'uh huh' and a smile, and then he left. He's an old friend of my parents, a kindly elderly man, so I didn't really feel like telling him I was an atheist . . . maybe because it felt like I would be hurting his feelings, or that by telling him I was being dismissive of his visit? Morphine kind of makes everything a little fuzzy. ;)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Buddy on April 20, 2012, 02:35:42 AM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 20, 2012, 02:23:41 AM


I did say thank you the first time, and then he said it again in a way that was sort of expecting something more, which just got a 'uh huh' and a smile, and then he left. He's an old friend of my parents, a kindly elderly man, so I didn't really feel like telling him I was an atheist . . . maybe because it felt like I would be hurting his feelings, or that by telling him I was being dismissive of his visit? Morphine kind of makes everything a little fuzzy. ;)

Drugs are bad, m'kay?  ;)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Hector Valdez on April 20, 2012, 02:42:52 AM
I usually just say "uh-huh", though I am a firm believer in telling people that that is offensive. Just be polite about it.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sandra Craft on April 20, 2012, 06:44:24 AM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 20, 2012, 02:23:41 AM
I did say thank you the first time, and then he said it again in a way that was sort of expecting something more, which just got a 'uh huh' and a smile, and then he left. He's an old friend of my parents, a kindly elderly man, so I didn't really feel like telling him I was an atheist . . . maybe because it felt like I would be hurting his feelings, or that by telling him I was being dismissive of his visit? Morphine kind of makes everything a little fuzzy. ;)

Hmmm, I think I would have gone ahead and told him I was an atheist.  It does seem like he was looking for a definitive response and an explanation is better than nothing.  I don't think it would have hurt his feelings if it was said in a friendly way -- just providing information so he didn't go away thinking you didn't like him, or whatever.     
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Beachdragon on April 20, 2012, 03:09:53 PM
Years ago at Dragoncon (an enormous Science fiction and media convention in Atlanta every year) there was an overlap between exiting conventioners in for a religious convention and incoming Dragoncon patrons.  In this particular instance some of each met in the elevator.  One set stalwart Christians and the other set some really really outlandishly dressed Goths.

The religious people eyed the Goths up and down and then announced, with acrimony, "We will pray for you."

To which the Goths replied, "Do we get to pick which God?"

True story.  :)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on April 20, 2012, 03:48:50 PM
Quote from: Beachdragon on April 20, 2012, 03:09:53 PM
Years ago at Dragoncon (an enormous Science fiction and media convention in Atlanta every year) there was an overlap between exiting conventioners in for a religious convention and incoming Dragoncon patrons.  In this particular instance some of each met in the elevator.  One set stalwart Christians and the other set some really really outlandishly dressed Goths.

The religious people eyed the Goths up and down and then announced, with acrimony, "We will pray for you."

To which the Goths replied, "Do we get to pick which God?"

True story.  :)

:D
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: AnimatedDirt on April 20, 2012, 03:54:04 PM
Quote from: Stevil on April 19, 2012, 11:58:38 PM
Quote from: AnimatedDirt on April 19, 2012, 08:27:00 PM
I get it.  In context of your point, I wouldn't say such a thing to someone I know is angered or offended at me saying, "I'll pray for you."  Lucky for me, the Atheist friends I do have have no issue whatsoever.  (I asked one over the weekend and another yesterday) Useless, yes, but not something to be angry or offended at.  I need to ask one more to complete my survey.  :)
But do you really need to say it? [...]
But do you really need to tell the atheist?  [...]
If you are going to pray for the atheist then do it, they don't really need to be told do they?

No, they don't need to hear about it. 
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sandra Craft on April 20, 2012, 04:49:15 PM
Quote from: Beachdragon on April 20, 2012, 03:09:53 PM
To which the Goths replied, "Do we get to pick which God?"

True story.  :)

Well, that's obviously an important consideration!  I do admire people who are quick on their mental feet.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: keithpenrod on April 21, 2012, 12:48:37 AM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on April 20, 2012, 04:49:15 PM
Quote from: Beachdragon on April 20, 2012, 03:09:53 PM
To which the Goths replied, "Do we get to pick which God?"

True story.  :)

Well, that's obviously an important consideration!  I do admire people who are quick on their mental feet.


I wish I was quick-witted.  I'll think of a comeback like a week later and go up to the person and they're like "Dude, I don't even remember saying that.  It was so long ago, it even pre-dated the Bible."
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Recusant on April 21, 2012, 12:54:04 AM
I think that most of us have experienced l'esprit de l'escalier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier).  ;)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sweetdeath on April 21, 2012, 01:33:59 AM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on April 20, 2012, 04:49:15 PM
Quote from: Beachdragon on April 20, 2012, 03:09:53 PM
To which the Goths replied, "Do we get to pick which God?"

True story.  :)

Well, that's obviously an important consideration!  I do admire people who are quick on their mental feet.


Ugggh, those people sound so rude. I would so hate to coexist with a religious convention.

Poor goths. At least they were witty.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on April 21, 2012, 05:59:52 PM
Quote from: Recusant on April 21, 2012, 12:54:04 AM
I think that most of us have experienced l'esprit de l'escalier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier).  ;)

Haha, that's a good little expression.  :)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: history_geek on April 21, 2012, 09:22:20 PM
Quote from: Recusant on April 21, 2012, 12:54:04 AMl'esprit de l'escalier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier)

The story of my life....
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: ThinkAnarchy on April 21, 2012, 10:26:56 PM
Quote from: history_geek on April 21, 2012, 09:22:20 PM
Quote from: Recusant on April 21, 2012, 12:54:04 AMl'esprit de l'escalier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier)

The story of my life....

Indeed. My witty retorts always come to me in the shower.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sweetdeath on April 22, 2012, 06:35:32 AM
Quote from: ThinkAnarchy on April 21, 2012, 10:26:56 PM
Quote from: history_geek on April 21, 2012, 09:22:20 PM
Quote from: Recusant on April 21, 2012, 12:54:04 AMl'esprit de l'escalier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier)

The story of my life....

Indeed. My witty retorts always come to me in the shower.

Mine when i am about to fall asleep. And i always have to pee right as i get cozy into bed. :(
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sandra Craft on April 22, 2012, 06:37:01 AM
Quote from: ThinkAnarchy on April 21, 2012, 10:26:56 PM
Quote from: history_geek on April 21, 2012, 09:22:20 PM
Quote from: Recusant on April 21, 2012, 12:54:04 AMl'esprit de l'escalier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier)

The story of my life....

Indeed. My witty retorts always come to me in the shower.

Mine wake me up at about 3 a.m., when the only person I can tell them to is the cat.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on April 22, 2012, 08:47:04 PM
Quote from: BooksCatsEtc on April 22, 2012, 06:37:01 AM
Quote from: ThinkAnarchy on April 21, 2012, 10:26:56 PM
Quote from: history_geek on April 21, 2012, 09:22:20 PM
Quote from: Recusant on April 21, 2012, 12:54:04 AMl'esprit de l'escalier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L'esprit_de_l'escalier)

The story of my life....

Indeed. My witty retorts always come to me in the shower.

Mine wake me up at about 3 a.m., when the only person I can tell them to is the cat.


I hope you do  :)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Magdalena on April 23, 2012, 06:33:27 AM
Quote from: Dobermonster on April 17, 2012, 09:43:18 PM
I thought I had this issue pretty well down - I don't normally take offense if I'm unwell and someone tells me they'll pray for me. To me it just means they're thinking about me and want to do something that feels like helping. I just say 'thank you' and smile in return. Now . . . when these particular people *know* you're an atheist, and feel compelled to end every conversation with "I'll be praying for you!", well, it just started to get on my nerves a bit. Especially when they send their pastor by to also pray for you . . . twice . . . and give you scripture verses . . . honestly I was gritting my teeth and forcing a smile by the end of it, mostly to concentrate on something other than saying something I might regret. What's a polite but firm way to deflect this kind of thing?

I know how to deflect this kind of thing:
The next time their pastor comes by to pray for you, open the door, stare at him and throw up some pea soup on the floor then, force a smile and say, "I know you've been praying for me, won't you come in?" No disrespectful words are being used, in fact, you are being polite, little under the weather, but polite. After this, he will pray for you, but from far away.  ;)
I think I will try this next time the Jehovah's witness come to my door. 
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sweetdeath on April 23, 2012, 09:24:04 AM
I hope this isn't off topic, because i figured it goes with the whole "we're praying for you" thread.
But , by Thor's hammer, I AM DAMN SICK AND DAMN TIRED OF PEOPLE BLESSING ME.
No, i don't mean  after a sneeze, cuz it is some people's auto reflexes.
I mean, fucking smelly old religious people saying "well, god bless you. You are so fortunate for bleh bleh yippity yip yip..."
I have been "god blessed" three times this week. I know it may seem small on scale, but it is beginning to piss me off!
Like... They dont know a thing about my life. Shut up. Why do they feel the need to ask god to bless me? If they really thought the fairy king ass wipe was real, wouldnt he/she/it bless me already without their need?
I know it sounds soooo crazy, but i  am just sick and tired of being god blessed.
Argh. Sorry for random rant! :)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Hector Valdez on April 23, 2012, 09:16:15 PM
I've been annoyed for a while now. But I am at a loss to do something about it. I want to say, "You know how offensive that is, right?" But I can never seem to get that level of strength. :(
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: AnimatedDirt on April 23, 2012, 09:37:53 PM
Quote from: Sweetdeathfucking smelly old religious [person]...

Is this him/her?

(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg407.imageshack.us%2Fimg407%2F3397%2F4uipray.jpg&hash=ad38a421d96ca83e67bc5bcb28916717361e6593)

;)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Asmodean on April 23, 2012, 09:41:36 PM
Someone ought to key that Bentley  :D
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Dobermonster on April 23, 2012, 09:47:29 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 23, 2012, 09:41:36 PM
Someone ought to key that Bentley  :D

Wonder if the driver has actually ever read the bible. More specifically, the part where Jesus says that it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven. Then again, I think it'd be more likely that said rich person would experiment with a camel, a needle, and a blender than give away his wealth.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: DeterminedJuliet on April 23, 2012, 09:58:30 PM
If you're going to have a religious license plate, I prefer this one:

(https://www.happyatheistforum.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.happyplace.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2F2012%2F04%2F4f95806bb1647.jpg&hash=c726c1e8199ef9d11ad709ffd3b637eef381076b)
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sweetdeath on April 23, 2012, 10:02:38 PM
LOL!!
J is lord is hilarious.
There is a guitarist from a well known japanese rock band called Luna Sea named J. I'm sure he would be amused by this.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Siz on April 23, 2012, 10:35:54 PM
To me, that read "Jis Lord". Now, 'Jizz' in the UK is slang for semen.
I congratulate the fella (or woman?) driving... :D
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Jimmy on April 23, 2012, 11:36:58 PM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 23, 2012, 10:35:54 PM
To me, that read "Jis Lord". Now, 'Jizz' in the UK is slang for semen.
I congratulate the fella (or woman?) driving... :D

LMFAO!!! Jis Lord...BAAHAAAHAA
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sweetdeath on April 24, 2012, 12:01:56 AM
Quote from: Scissorlegs on April 23, 2012, 10:35:54 PM
To me, that read "Jis Lord". Now, 'Jizz' in the UK is slang for semen.
I congratulate the fella (or woman?) driving... :D
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Asmodean on April 24, 2012, 06:39:52 AM
It's a Jaguar. What that plate means, is obviously "Jag is king"
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: ThinkAnarchy on April 24, 2012, 06:52:49 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 24, 2012, 06:39:52 AM
It's a Jaguar. What that plate means, is obviously "Jag is king"

I would be willing to debate you on that one. I read it as "Jizz Lord" or "Lord of Jizz." Immature? Yes. Do I care? No.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Asmodean on April 24, 2012, 06:53:46 AM
Quote from: ThinkAnarchy on April 24, 2012, 06:52:49 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 24, 2012, 06:39:52 AM
It's a Jaguar. What that plate means, is obviously "Jag is king"

I would be willing to debate you on that one. I read it as "Jizz Lord" or "Lord of Jizz." Immature? Yes. Do I care? No.
I read it through my own glasses, and I like Jaguars far better than I like semen.
Title: Re: "We're praying for you!"
Post by: Sweetdeath on April 24, 2012, 07:55:30 PM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 24, 2012, 06:53:46 AM
Quote from: ThinkAnarchy on April 24, 2012, 06:52:49 AM
Quote from: Asmodean on April 24, 2012, 06:39:52 AM
It's a Jaguar. What that plate means, is obviously "Jag is king"

I would be willing to debate you on that one. I read it as "Jizz Lord" or "Lord of Jizz." Immature? Yes. Do I care? No.
I read it through my own glasses, and I like Jaguars far better than I like semen.

This made me LOL so hard. I'm at work too xD