Hi all,
Thought I'd pop my head in and say hi. After being a Christian for 42 years, I recently renounced my faith (well, I lost it ages ago but it took me a while to realise it, but there ya go) and am now an atheist. It was a very long and hard road to get to this journey, and I'll try and tell my story with brevity. But before I do, could one of you lovely people please answer a question for me? I've read the rules of the forum and couldn't find anything on profanity. Are we allowed to use naughty words? It's just that I have a tendency to express myself rather eloquently that way, but if they're a no-no I'll happily curb my written tourettes :)
I was born and raised in the North West of the UK into a CofE family. My parents weren't the slightest bit religious but they made damn sure I was. I was enrolled in a CofE primary school where, every assembly, a mini-service was conducted and hymns were sung. At the age of eight my parents sent me to a Methodist youth group with different values and belief systems than the daily worship I'd been subjected to, and on reaching age 11, I was sent to a Catholic secondary school where, as a non-Catholic, it was compulsory to attend Mass three times a week (but not take communion). So as you can see, my youth, theologically at least, was very confusing. However, like most impressionable youngsters, I drank the Kool-Aid and enjoyed it. I didn't even realise that I'd been completely brainwashed, but instead became devout. I wasn't interested in going to church - from my mixed theological upbringing, I'd developed a mistrust of organised religion. But I continued to pray and ask for answers and, of course, none came.
Around 1998 - 2000 my faith was seriously tested. I was going through some very bad personal issues, a broken relationship and debts, and I prayed hard. I asked God for answers, but eventually I had to figure it out for myself. It was then that the first seed of doubt crept into my mind, like, 'hey, what if there's no-one up there?', but I discarded it immediately.
What really caused me to seriously look at my faith was 9/11. My first thought, as a Christian watching those horrifying events unfold on my TV screen was, 'How could God allow this?' Then as more details emerged, it became more a case of 'How could God allow this to happen in his name?' It wasn't long after that that I became aware of Richard Dawkins and his views on religion. Then one day fairly recently, it happened. I actually woke up and my first thought was 'I don't believe in a God any more.' And you know something? For the first time in my life, I felt free! All these years I had the grim prospect of answering for my sins to a godhead figure, but now I realise what complete bs that all is. I was so used to feeling guilty - hell, I enjoyed it sometimes - but now I don't have to any more. To use a cliche, it's like a great weight has been lifted. It really is, and my life is so much better now. I feel so much happier in myself and I feel free.
Forgive the longevity of the above, but this is the first time I've written any of this down and it's cathartic. The thing is, though, I've been alone on this. I don't really know anyone in my personal life that can relate to the same sort of things as I've experienced, so that's why I stuck my flag up on this forum.
Thanks very much for reading this through to the end. Peace and love x
Quote from: Denty420 on October 03, 2011, 03:16:02 AM
I feel so much happier in myself and I feel free.
Great to hear Denty, that's wonderful. What a drag to be trapped in that lifestyle, eh? My wife and I rode bikes through the neighborhood today and saw people leaving for church, made me want to vomit. I remember that life as a kid, so drab and gray. Or is that grey? :P
Quote from: Denty420 on October 03, 2011, 03:16:02 AM
(well, I lost it ages ago but it took me a while to realise it, but there ya go)
That seems to be a common story among atheists.
QuoteAre we allowed to use naughty words?
I hope to goodness we are, because I've already called a couple of things "weird shit".
Welcome!
Welcome! Your intro was very interesting to read, and well written, I must say!
As for cursing, it's allowed (fuck yeah!)
Welcome!
Great story. Fantastic that you have managed to take the red pill and see the world as it is.
Never been a theist myself, but would imagine that it would be hard to break out of that position, they work very hard at redefining people's thoughts and even the words people use. Makes it so confusing for theists and atheists to discuss/debate theology/reality when our words have different meanings.
Welcome to Atheism - the land of the free!
And congratulations on finally getting here. You'll meet plenty here with similar stories, though not many quite so mixed.
Tough that you had such a confusing education. Can you expand on why all the faith schools?
Hi Denty420
Swearing isn't against the rules and if for some reason you're creative use of language does cause concern for some reason (which I doubt it will) then one of the staff will drop you a PM explaining why.
Great introduction and I have read similar many times, particularly the 'There is no God!' epiphany. Having never been a believer I sort of wish I could have had that feeling but I am assured by those that have that it ain't worth the prior pain!
As you are in the UK at least you won't be suffering the persecution issues that atheists face in many countries in the world. Go Blighty!
Welcome to HAF
Regards
Chris
Thank you all for the lovely responses and welcomes, and thanks for clearing up the profanity issue. The analogy of the red pill, as Stevil mentioned, is so apt. At times I have felt like Alice tumbling down the hole (or Neo, come to that!) but it's a decision I wouldn't go back on for the world.
Quote from: Scissorlegs on October 03, 2011, 07:52:38 AM
Tough that you had such a confusing education. Can you expand on why all the faith schools?
I have no idea. Like I said, my parents weren't devout - they believed in God, but I never saw them pray or attend church. I've no idea why they ensured I was 'washed in the blood of the Lamb' from such an early age - all I do know is that when they sent me to a Catholic school, away from all the friends I'd spent seven years growing up with who were all going to a CofE comprehensive, it was because my parents thought I would get a 'better education'. Well, I didn't. All it did for me was leave me even more confused and afraid for the next thirty years. My father died in 1989. My mum is still around but I'm estranged from her and have no desire to speak to her again, other than to ask her that same question - why send me to all those faith schools and youth groups when it's just so much utter bullshit?
But get this - even though I was a devout Christian, I've never believed in creationism. I've always believed that we've evolved as a life form and will continue to evolve as long as the earth still turns. People I know, who aren't necessarily Christians, still believe in the whole Adam and Eve good vs evil morailty fairytale. That, to me, is very frightening.
Re your signature Denty, is that to say that you are permitted to wear sanitary towels as headwear when sober? I'm signing up!
I don't recognize the authority of whoever's trying to enforce that rule ;D I will wear sanitary towels whenever I want, thank you very much.
About swearing - I usually have the same concerns, but with venting. Especially since it can get a bit annoying. And I vent a lot.
WARNING! Vent ahead:
Like when even after all you go through, you still have to deal with idiotic morons, whose existence hits you like that feeling when you're walking and...um...you realize that the squishy thing you've stepped on is the finished product of a local dog's intestinal movements. Something that sticks to the bottom of your shoe till you reach home where you can remove it. I've yet to confirm my suspicions though, and I don't have to put up with this.
Welcome and thanks for your introduction. I keyed in on one word that is so frequently used among those of us who once were believers but who threw off the beliefs. "Free". You felt free. Amen to that, brother! ;)
That's the feeling for sure.
My last church (the final straw church) tried to get me to teach Creationism to the high school Sunday School classes. That was the final straw for me. In trying so hard to learn about Creationism, biblical apologetics, etc., I saw just how deluded that stuff really was.
Bonjour Denty.
That was a great introduction, Welcome to the forum.
Quote from: Scissorlegs on October 03, 2011, 05:22:02 PM
Re your signature Denty, is that to say that you are permitted to wear sanitary towels as headwear when sober? I'm signing up!
I always thought the word 'smeg' meant nob cheese, i.e. smegma. So a 'smeg head' was a cheesy corona. But i am guessing that the tattoo is a reference to red dwarf (http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p008tvfb/red_dwarf_smeg_head/).
Quote from: Crow on October 04, 2011, 01:08:00 AM
Bonjour Denty.
That was a great introduction, Welcome to the forum.
I always thought the word 'smeg' meant nob cheese, i.e. smegma. So a 'smeg head' was a cheesy corona. But i am guessing that the tattoo is a reference to red dwarf (http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p008tvfb/red_dwarf_smeg_head/).
Thanks, Crow :) It certainly is a Red Dwarf reference and yes, it's my own tattoo. And the rule about tampons isn't compulsory - Space Corp Directives are renowned for being anal :D
Quote from: McQ on October 03, 2011, 07:47:37 PM
Welcome and thanks for your introduction. I keyed in on one word that is so frequently used among those of us who once were believers but who threw off the beliefs. "Free". You felt free. Amen to that, brother! ;)
That's exactly how it feels, matey! You sound like you were pretty actively involved with the church in order to be teaching Sunday School, McQ. Was your 'awakening' a sudden thing or did it, like mine, build up over a period?
Thank you for sharing your story Denty. The best part of being an atheist for a while is finding out there's lots of other people who don't have imaginary friends. Glad to know you!
Thank you, SB, and back atcha :) It's so weird. When I was a Christian, I'd look at atheists and other non-believers and think, 'You're in for a hell of a shock when you joss it, mate.' Now I look at them and think, 'Was I really so deluded to have bought into this crap for so long?' Tell you something though, since dumping my baggage of faith I've become a better person. Who said you needed religion to be a good, moral person?
Quote from: Denty420 on October 04, 2011, 10:11:47 PM
Tell you something though, since dumping my baggage of faith I've become a better person. Who said you needed religion to be a good, moral person?
Do you have any ideas why "morallity" or adherence to societies rules improves for Atheists in comparison to theists?
There was a survey ages ago in America by the Bureau of Prisons, and it highlighted that Atheists are by far underrepresented in prisons.
What is it about religion that could cause a person to behave worse that a person without religion?
Of course you don't know the answer, but do you have any thoughts on this?
Quote from: Stevil on October 04, 2011, 11:46:26 PM
Do you have any ideas why "morallity" or adherence to societies rules improves for Atheists in comparison to theists?
There was a survey ages ago in America by the Bureau of Prisons, and it highlighted that Atheists are by far underrepresented in prisons.
What is it about religion that could cause a person to behave worse that a person without religion?
Of course you don't know the answer, but do you have any thoughts on this?
Interesting question, Stevil, and one I was only thinking about today. As you say I can only hypothesise, and to my mind, it's because the God of the Old Testament was such a petulant shit. At school, me and many of my friends were taught that God loved us, but that he was a wrathful and vengeful God. 'Course, he got a complete makeover in the New Testament in the form of 'Gentle Jesus', but to a lot of people, Jesus was a little too goody-goody and little Mr Perfect. It's in our nature to be combatitive, rude and immoral, but Christians believe they get a free pass when they join 'paradise' and they think this excuses all their pas transgressions. Utter bollocks in my opinion. Does that make any sense?
Quote from: Stevil on October 04, 2011, 11:46:26 PM
There was a survey ages ago in America by the Bureau of Prisons, and it highlighted that Atheists are by far underrepresented in prisons.
Hey Stevil. I've heard about that survey. My take on it, as much as I wish it was true, (and the study is a fun thing to throw in the face of credulous fools citing morality...) is that if you're in prison, and you want a shot at getting out ever and/or surviving as an inmate, you better be very publically religious and repentant to any and every authority figure. If I were behind bars, I don't think I would ever take the chance of admitting I was an atheist....
Quote from: SatanicBurrito on October 05, 2011, 12:38:48 AM
If I were behind bars, I don't think I would ever take the chance of admitting I was an atheist....
Are you saying there are no Atheists in foxholes?
America is a strange beast, I've seen a few prison movies e.g. Shawshank where the warden promotes or enforces the bible on the inmates, but I thought that was old movies way in the past.
This is interesting to me because here in the UK, the fact that you are an atheist doesn't seem to get in your way when you're in prison. Sure, it will earn you brownie points but you have just as much chance of surviving on the inside or completing your sentence in full if you're an atheist. It always amazes me to see things happen differently Stateside.
Quote from: SatanicBurrito on October 05, 2011, 12:38:48 AM
Quote from: Stevil on October 04, 2011, 11:46:26 PM
There was a survey ages ago in America by the Bureau of Prisons, and it highlighted that Atheists are by far underrepresented in prisons.
Hey Stevil. I've heard about that survey. My take on it, as much as I wish it was true, (and the study is a fun thing to throw in the face of credulous fools citing morality...) is that if you're in prison, and you want a shot at getting out ever and/or surviving as an inmate, you better be very publically religious and repentant to any and every authority figure. If I were behind bars, I don't think I would ever take the chance of admitting I was an atheist....
Actually I think they asked inmates both
before they were jailed and while they were in there, so it doesn't really make that much sense to say that it was peer pressure, unless they were trying to convince their interviewer that they were good decent theists, who believe in clear, absolute and objective god-given morals. It's possible that a percentage are of that sort.