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I've Been Touched by Jesus

Started by MadBomr101, May 10, 2020, 03:46:27 AM

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MadBomr101

He touched me in a very naughty place. I don't feel loved, just...violated. I think I should report this to the cops.

At least I'm saved now.

Post 9 of 25
- Bomr
I'm waiting for the movie of my life to be made.  It should cost about $7.23 and that includes the budget for special effects.

Old Seer

The only thing possible the world needs saving from are the ones running it.
Oh lord, save us from those wanting to save us.
I'm not a Theist
https://sites.google.com/site/oldseers

No one

That wasn't Jesus, it was Frank.
Frank has some issues. He's trying to work through them.
This is a major setback.

MadBomr101

- Bomr
I'm waiting for the movie of my life to be made.  It should cost about $7.23 and that includes the budget for special effects.

MadBomr101

Quote from: Old Seer on May 10, 2020, 05:26:56 AM
Did your IQ go up any?   ;)

Right, like that's ever gonna be a thing.
- Bomr
I'm waiting for the movie of my life to be made.  It should cost about $7.23 and that includes the budget for special effects.

Old Seer

I thought there might be a surge of enlightenment giving me hope for the future if I get touched. But alas.
The only thing possible the world needs saving from are the ones running it.
Oh lord, save us from those wanting to save us.
I'm not a Theist
https://sites.google.com/site/oldseers

xSilverPhinx

Quote from: MadBomr101 on May 10, 2020, 09:51:53 AM
Quote from: No one on May 10, 2020, 06:45:51 AM
That wasn't Jesus, it was Frank.

Wait...so I'm not saved?

:sadshake: Whatever Frank told you isn't true, MadBomr101.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Asmodean

Quote from: MadBomr101 on May 10, 2020, 03:46:27 AM
He touched me in a very naughty place. I don't feel loved, just...violated. I think I should report this to the cops.
The symbol in your profile says "Not a crime." Unless of course you are powerful and/or rich and/or were a child at the time of the touching. In them cases, you totally ought to hashtag metoo Jesus into Republicanism.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Dark Lightning

I know a guy who plays footy with Jesus at lunch time, where he works. Here in southern California there are hundreds of guys named Jesus. :smilenod:

hermes2015

The problem is that beard gives me a rash in inconvenient places.
"Who is to say that pleasure is useless?"
― Charles Eames