Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Magdalena


"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

Randy

"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Tom62

Putin and Trump are flying across Russia on a plane.

Putin: If I throw down a 10 ruble bill, I would make a Russian happy.

Trump: that's nothing! If I throw down a ten dollar bill, I would make a whole Russian family happy.

Pilot: If I crashed this plane, I would make the whole world happy.
The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.
Robert A. Heinlein

Randy

"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Ecurb Noselrub

Q:  where do you take someone who is seriously injured playing peekaboo?




A: ICU


Yes, it's infantile.

Randy

Two sardines are swimming along minding their own business when suddenly one sees a submarine. The first sardine says to the second sardine, "Hey, wadda ya know, canned people!"
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Dark Lightning


xSilverPhinx

I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Dark Lightning

Quote from: xSilverPhinx on October 23, 2020, 01:29:32 AM
Quote from: Dark Lightning on October 23, 2020, 01:16:10 AM
beep beep!



:lol: So fast the plank captured and trapped his soul!

:lol: One can actually find things like this in wood all the time. I've cut into planks and found "owl's faces" many times. If you look to the left in the picture, you can see where a distorted version of the "ostrich" is in another board. All kinds of interesting things show up in wood.

Or maybe that second board a sloth that fell out of a tree. They sure as hell don't go fast any other way.  ;D

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

Q: Why can't Trump continue to live in the White House?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.


I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Icarus

Some smarty pants sign makers are using banners to spell: By-Don.  (smile). 

Randy

Quote from: xSilverPhinx on November 08, 2020, 12:37:24 AM
Q: Why can't Trump continue to live in the White House?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

That was good. Did you think of it yourself?
"Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff that happens." -- Homer Simpson
"Some people focus on the destination. Atheists focus on the journey." -- Barry Goldberg

Magdalena

Quote from: xSilverPhinx on November 08, 2020, 12:37:24 AM
Q: Why can't Trump continue to live in the White House?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Ha!
:rimshot:

"I've had several "spiritual" or numinous experiences over the years, but never felt that they were the product of anything but the workings of my own mind in reaction to the universe." ~Recusant

xSilverPhinx

Quote from: Randy on November 08, 2020, 03:10:09 AM
Quote from: xSilverPhinx on November 08, 2020, 12:37:24 AM
Q: Why can't Trump continue to live in the White House?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

That was good. Did you think of it yourself?

No, my sense of humour isn't that elaborate! :lol:
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey