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Well....I have to come out this Easter as a non-church goer

Started by Asherah, April 06, 2012, 09:10:15 PM

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Sweetdeath

I love the term never-theist as well. :D

Never been a believer either, except having to sit down and listen to my dad rant about how great Jesus is, I can't feel as you feel .

Well, none of us can, because we aren't you. We aren't Ray from the Dc universe, shrinking ourselves down to explore your brain through the ear canal. :)

I suppose my thoughts are basically to take things slow. If you try to yank away, you might have a bad time. Maybe compare this to an ex-addict of gambling or smoking. You may associate church with fond memories. But know there is so much more to life than routinely going to a stale building with a bunch of judgy people whom tell you how to think.

I don't know. Like I said, I can't understand your feelings exactly, but if you're serious. HAF has a pretty good support system.

Also, I feel like Asmo will get you cold turkey. I think he's the most hard core never theist of us all. :D
Law 35- "You got to go with what works." - Robin Lefler

Wiggum:"You have that much faith in me, Homer?"
Homer:"No! Faith is what you have in things that don't exist. Your awesomeness is real."

"I was thinking that perhaps this thing called God does not exist. Because He cannot save any one of us. No matter how we pray, He doesn't mend our wounds.

Asmodean

Quote from: Tank on April 07, 2012, 11:56:21 AM
EDIT: I like the term never-theist I can see myself using that a lot.
Yes, sort of proud of it meself  :D
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Amicale

Quote from: Asmodean on April 07, 2012, 01:23:27 PM
Quote from: Tank on April 07, 2012, 11:56:21 AM
EDIT: I like the term never-theist I can see myself using that a lot.
Yes, sort of proud of it meself  :D

:) I like the term for you guys. Seems to fit well!

Ex-theist is fine for me.

The Living After Faith podcast, as well as The Thinking Atheist podcast have both helped me more than I can tell you, as the guys who run each respective show were hardcore Christians and walked away from it. Hearing their experiences, and the experiences of their callers, has been a huge help to me. Just wanted to toss these out there. I won't link to their sites here on HAF, as they're other online communities, but listening to these two shows over the last year or two has helped a lot heal, really. First and foremost, the "you're not alone" feeling hit me hard. :)


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Stevil

Quote from: Asherah on April 06, 2012, 09:10:15 PM
I just hate being the one who's fallen off the wagon.
Off the wagon of make believe?
Surely you are too old to play make believe.

Quote from: Asherah on April 06, 2012, 09:10:15 PM
I'd rather be normal
Hang on, atheist's aren't normal?
There are at least a couple of normal atheists on this forum.
In my country at least 1/3 of people are atheists that's well over 1 million, there are bound to be a few normal ones.


PS. Just because you don't believe in the Christian god nor Jesus it doesn't mean the Easter Bunny can't drop off some yummy chocolate Easter eggs.

Tank

Quote from: Stevil on April 07, 2012, 08:24:30 PM
Quote from: Asherah on April 06, 2012, 09:10:15 PM
I just hate being the one who's fallen off the wagon.
Off the wagon of make believe?
Surely you are too old to play make believe.
Nobody is too old to play make believe!
You just change the story line  ;D

Tank - You receive a warning for a blatant derail! - Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Amicale

Quote from: Tank on April 07, 2012, 08:37:13 PM
Quote from: Stevil on April 07, 2012, 08:24:30 PM
Quote from: Asherah on April 06, 2012, 09:10:15 PM
I just hate being the one who's fallen off the wagon.
Off the wagon of make believe?
Surely you are too old to play make believe.
Nobody is too old to play make believe!
You just change the story line  ;D

Tank - You receive a warning for a blatant derail! - Tank

:D He's so good he warns himself!

Anyhow, Asherah, I hope that this weekend goes as well for you as possible. I'll be thinking of you! *hugs*



"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Asherah

Quote from: Stevil on April 07, 2012, 08:24:30 PM
Quote from: Asherah on April 06, 2012, 09:10:15 PM
I'd rather be normal
Hang on, atheist's aren't normal?
There are at least a couple of normal atheists on this forum.
In my country at least 1/3 of people are atheists that's well over 1 million, there are bound to be a few normal ones.

Well....when I said "normal" I meant in my world. Most of the people around me are Chrisitian. I was using normal to describe what most people do or believe around me.
As a scientist, I am hostile to fundamentalist religion because it actively debauches the scientific enterprise. It teaches us not to change our minds, and not to want to know exciting things that are available to be known. It subverts science and saps the intellect. - Dawkins

Stevil

Quote from: Asherah on April 07, 2012, 09:50:27 PM
Well....when I said "normal" I meant in my world. Most of the people around me are Chrisitian. I was using normal to describe what most people do or believe around me.
Just because you live in a cultish society, it doesn't mean that cultish behaviour is normal.

What's normal anyways?
"normal" is boring, dare to be different.
You are a unique and special individual like the rest of us, just be yourself.

xSilverPhinx

IMo the desire for community is completely normal. Perceptions may change however.
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey


Sweetdeath

Quote from: Asherah on April 07, 2012, 09:50:27 PM
Quote from: Stevil on April 07, 2012, 08:24:30 PM
Quote from: Asherah on April 06, 2012, 09:10:15 PM
I'd rather be normal
Hang on, atheist's aren't normal?
There are at least a couple of normal atheists on this forum.
In my country at least 1/3 of people are atheists that's well over 1 million, there are bound to be a few normal ones.

Well....when I said "normal" I meant in my world. Most of the people around me are Chrisitian. I was using normal to describe what most people do or believe around me.


Pity them because they're  brain washed. :(
Law 35- "You got to go with what works." - Robin Lefler

Wiggum:"You have that much faith in me, Homer?"
Homer:"No! Faith is what you have in things that don't exist. Your awesomeness is real."

"I was thinking that perhaps this thing called God does not exist. Because He cannot save any one of us. No matter how we pray, He doesn't mend our wounds.

Whitney

I think leaving religions puts many people in the grief stages where they must come to terms with a loss.  Hopefully your family is being supportive by not giving you a hard time about it.  If you need someone to talk to in person see if there is a Recovering from Religion group near you; they don't push people attending towards any certain path it's just a place where it's safe to be honest about how you feel about religion. http://recoveringfromreligion.org/

Personally I can just wish you the best because my situation was different so I have no real advice.

Asherah

Quote from: Stevil on April 07, 2012, 10:03:40 PM
Quote from: Asherah on April 07, 2012, 09:50:27 PM
Well....when I said "normal" I meant in my world. Most of the people around me are Chrisitian. I was using normal to describe what most people do or believe around me.
Just because you live in a cultish society, it doesn't mean that cultish behaviour is normal.

What's normal anyways?
"normal" is boring, dare to be different.
You are a unique and special individual like the rest of us, just be yourself.

I will be different! Today I feel a lot better about me! I'm not down in the dumps anymore. I feel more settled with who I am. And, I just try to think about how I would want my kids to live and I would want them to be authentic. I wouldn't want them to live a certain way because that's what's expected of them. I would want them to live by their convictions. So, I'm going to do that.

The only really really scarey thing is how to tell my kids what I think. They still believe in Jesus. My daughter reminds us to pray at dinner and she's only three. I feel really sad for them. But, also, glad that they will have a chance to live a secular life and have a mom (and dad) who will support them in whichever way they may choose to go.

So, going to church tomorrow. I have to say that being there is somewhat of a comfort, but it also gets under my skin. All the delusional people worshiping Jesus. That's sounds so mean to say, but that's what I see. And, I do feel sad for them. And, I feel angry that this myth has been around for so long and at that people just swallow it without much thought about the truth of the claims made by the religion.

My family is having lunch tomorrow afternoon and I found out that a friend, whom I invited, asked to bring one of her friends. And......she's an atheist! Not that we'll talk about it or anything, but it's nice to know I'm really not going to be the only unbeliever there!
As a scientist, I am hostile to fundamentalist religion because it actively debauches the scientific enterprise. It teaches us not to change our minds, and not to want to know exciting things that are available to be known. It subverts science and saps the intellect. - Dawkins

Asherah

Quote from: Amicale on April 07, 2012, 09:07:47 PM
Anyhow, Asherah, I hope that this weekend goes as well for you as possible. I'll be thinking of you! *hugs*



Thanks!
As a scientist, I am hostile to fundamentalist religion because it actively debauches the scientific enterprise. It teaches us not to change our minds, and not to want to know exciting things that are available to be known. It subverts science and saps the intellect. - Dawkins

Asherah

Quote from: OldGit on April 07, 2012, 12:20:48 PM
Yup, you finally reach the moment when you have to come out of the closet.  It's not easy, it feels insecure and scary and exposed.  But you're doing the right thing and the dust will settle down soon enough.

We're here for you.  All the best, Asherah.

Thanks OldGit. It's comforting to know that things will settle down. My mom wants to talk more with me about why I don't believe. So, that'll be an interesting conversation. She's pretty smart and interesting to talk to. She used to be really convincing when she would talk about why she believes. But, not anymore. Still, it'll be a good conversation when it happens.
As a scientist, I am hostile to fundamentalist religion because it actively debauches the scientific enterprise. It teaches us not to change our minds, and not to want to know exciting things that are available to be known. It subverts science and saps the intellect. - Dawkins

Firebird

I'm glad to hear that this little community has given you some of the support you need. It was easy for me to become an atheist, considering that most of my family consists of non-believers. It is a much more difficult thing to proclaim your beliefs in your situation. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you, but I have so much respect and admiration for people such as yourself who stand up for your beliefs, as difficult as it may be in that environment. Just remember that you are not alone.
"Great, replace one book about an abusive, needy asshole with another." - Will (moderator) on replacing hotel Bibles with "Fifty Shades of Grey"