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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Pasta Chick

Unfortunately, not geographically accurate, but I did laugh anyway:


Buddy

Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Niya

Not that anyone cares what I say, but the Restaurant is on the other end of the universe." –Marvin
-----
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Sweetdeath

Quote from: Pasta Chick on May 25, 2013, 12:42:42 AM
Unfortunately, not geographically accurate, but I did laugh anyway:


Where is stonehenge?? That's where my gf's parents are vacationing right now.

Omg there is a titan inside the earth! ahhh  :o
Law 35- "You got to go with what works." - Robin Lefler

Wiggum:"You have that much faith in me, Homer?"
Homer:"No! Faith is what you have in things that don't exist. Your awesomeness is real."

"I was thinking that perhaps this thing called God does not exist. Because He cannot save any one of us. No matter how we pray, He doesn't mend our wounds.

OldGit

Stonehenge is in Wiltshire, England.  That's right in the middle of the southern part.  It's a big stony lumpy thing which attracts huge mobs of new-age loonies.

Asmodean

Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Asmodean

Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

OldGit

Be careful what you claim, O Grey One.  If people believe you're a Henge, hundreds of beardy Druids will roll up in scraggy old buses and do silly ceremonies around you.

OldGit

Police launch crackdown on counterfeit orgasms

Scotland Yard has today launched its biggest operation yet to tackle the huge surge in fake orgasms and protect the quality of British people's sex lives.

'We now believe that at any given time, as many as 40 per cent of all orgasms in Britain are faked,' said Detective Inspector Stephen Roberts of Operation Zenith, the squad dedicated to combatting the epidemic. 'We are advising people to be on the lookout for these counterfeit climaxes. Sometimes they can sound convincingly close to the real thing, and in many cases it's someone close to you who's doing it – precisely the last person you'd suspect.'

Claireliontamer

Quote from: OldGit on May 25, 2013, 04:29:08 PM
Police launch crackdown on counterfeit orgasms

Scotland Yard has today launched its biggest operation yet to tackle the huge surge in fake orgasms and protect the quality of British people's sex lives.

'We now believe that at any given time, as many as 40 per cent of all orgasms in Britain are faked,' said Detective Inspector Stephen Roberts of Operation Zenith, the squad dedicated to combatting the epidemic. 'We are advising people to be on the lookout for these counterfeit climaxes. Sometimes they can sound convincingly close to the real thing, and in many cases it's someone close to you who's doing it – precisely the last person you'd suspect.'
40%..... interesting ;D