Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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OldGit

I thought it was just me being too ancient to get the joke.  ;D

jumbojak

Quote from: OldGit on April 11, 2013, 11:50:40 AM
I thought it was just me being too ancient to get the joke.  ;D

Really? I thought it was you on the horse....

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

OldGit


Tank

Quote from: Asmodean on April 11, 2013, 11:33:46 AM
Don't get this one. A fat knight on a fat horse poling a fat, steaming dragon. Yes? Everyone seems to be doing exactly what they should..?
The look of surprise on the Dragons face made me chortle  ;D
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

OldGit

Q. Why do Marxists drink herbal tea?
A. Because proper tea is theft.

Claireliontamer


Guardian85

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

jumbojak

Quote from: Guardian85 on April 12, 2013, 10:47:06 PM
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

You told that one already. :P

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Guardian85

Quote from: jumbojak on April 13, 2013, 01:36:17 AM
Quote from: Guardian85 on April 12, 2013, 10:47:06 PM
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

You told that one already. :P
I did? Sorry.  :-\


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Tank

Quote from: Guardian85 on April 13, 2013, 11:25:10 AM
Quote from: jumbojak on April 13, 2013, 01:36:17 AM
Quote from: Guardian85 on April 12, 2013, 10:47:06 PM
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

You told that one already. :P
I did? Sorry.  :-\
With 80 pages repetition is a requirement, not a problem.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Guardian85

Trying again for something new:

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses."

"Warehouses!?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-


Asmodean

Well, wouldn't that be something to look up to..?  :(

Here, we have crime-crime. People steal, rape, do a spot of murdering on occasion, pretty much everyone commits traffic offences on regular basis... Pretty sure it's the same in Canada as well. Except maybe for the imported hookers and drug dealers and those nasty-ass gypsy beggars, but I do not include them in the "people" cathegory.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Crow

Quote from: Asmodean on April 16, 2013, 05:16:04 PM
Well, wouldn't that be something to look up to..?  :(

Here, we have crime-crime. People steal, rape, do a spot of murdering on occasion, pretty much everyone commits traffic offences on regular basis... Pretty sure it's the same in Canada as well. Except maybe for the imported hookers and drug dealers and those nasty-ass gypsy beggars, but I do not include them in the "people" cathegory.

You mean slaves?
Retired member.