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Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Buddy

#990
February 21, 2013, 02:46:12 PM
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

OldGit

#991
February 21, 2013, 03:20:35 PM
^lol

Tank

#992
February 22, 2013, 07:24:06 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#993
February 22, 2013, 07:27:25 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Amicale

#994
February 22, 2013, 07:30:18 AM


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Tank

#995
February 22, 2013, 09:28:03 AM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

#996
February 22, 2013, 12:03:31 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

xSilverPhinx

#997
February 22, 2013, 12:30:57 PM
Quote from: Amicale on February 22, 2013, 07:30:18 AM
Quote from: Tank on February 22, 2013, 07:27:25 AM


;D I LOVE The Far Side.

Me too! My father had a whole collection which I would read over and over again ;D
I am what survives if it's slain - Zack Hemsey

Asmodean

#998
February 22, 2013, 02:01:09 PM
Quote from: Tank on February 22, 2013, 12:03:31 PM

Hm. Expert, eh? Well, The Asmo can SEE the stuffed animals attempting to pass for the real thing. But then, The Asmo is the grandmaster of paranoia.  >:(
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Buddy

#999
February 22, 2013, 04:07:48 PM
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

OldGit

#1000
February 22, 2013, 07:24:33 PM
Claire will love these Yorkshire jokes (possibly ;))

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist, "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies, "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs.  Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "E by gum"

A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi mi."

A Yorkshireman's dog dies, and as it was a favourite pet, he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue o' yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No, yer daft bugger, I want it chewin' a booen!"

Tank

#1001
February 22, 2013, 07:49:27 PM
Q. What's the definition of a Yorkshireman?
A. A Scotsman with the generosity wrung out of him.
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Amicale

#1002
February 22, 2013, 08:01:42 PM


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Claireliontamer

#1003
February 22, 2013, 08:14:28 PM
Oi Oldgit watch it..... Jumbojak I take it back, I'll be the gunner ;)

Crow

#1004
February 22, 2013, 08:17:31 PM
Quote from: OldGit on February 22, 2013, 07:24:33 PM
Claire will love these Yorkshire jokes (possibly ;))

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist, "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies, "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs.  Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "E by gum"

A Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi mi."

A Yorkshireman's dog dies, and as it was a favourite pet, he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue o' yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No, yer daft bugger, I want it chewin' a booen!"

Brilliant!
Retired member.
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