Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Amicale

Another Little White Lion collection - I have NO idea if these are true, but they're pretty funny anyway!  :D

"7 marketing fails":



"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

jumbojak

That's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time Amicale!

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Amicale

Quote from: jumbojak on February 17, 2013, 04:05:40 AM
That's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time Amicale!

:D Glad you liked it, I got a laugh out of it.


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Tank

I knew the Pepsi one but none of the others.
Good for a Giggle.

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

OldGit

I LOVE YOU IN 10 LANGUAGES

English:      I Love You
Spanish:    Te Amo
French:      Je t'aime
German:     ich liebe dich
Japanese:   Ai Shite Imasu
Italian:       Ti Amo
Chinese:     Wo Ai Ni
Swedish      Jag Alskar Dig
Lithuanian:  As Tave Meliu

Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi, Kentucky, North Carolina, West Virginia, Virginia, Saskatchewan, Alberta,
Manitoba, Oregon, Upper Michigan:     Nice Tits, Get in the Truck.

     

     


Asmodean

Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Claireliontamer

#969
Quote from: OldGit on February 17, 2013, 02:33:48 PM
I LOVE YOU IN 10 LANGUAGES

English:      I Love You
Spanish:    Te Amo
French:      Je t'aime
German:     ich liebe dich
Japanese:   Ai Shite Imasu
Italian:       Ti Amo
Chinese:     Wo Ai Ni
Swedish      Jag Alskar Dig
Lithuanian:  As Tave Meliu

Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi, Kentucky, North Carolina, West Virginia, Virginia, Saskatchewan, Alberta,
Manitoba, Oregon, Upper Michigan:     Nice Tits, Get in the Truck.



I can't speak for the rest but I can say on good authority that not all Virginians are like this ;)

Tank

Quote from: Claireliontamer on February 17, 2013, 04:05:20 PM
Quote from: OldGit on February 17, 2013, 02:33:48 PM
I LOVE YOU IN 10 LANGUAGES

English:      I Love You
Spanish:    Te Amo
French:      Je t'aime
German:     ich liebe dich
Japanese:   Ai Shite Imasu
Italian:       Ti Amo
Chinese:     Wo Ai Ni
Swedish      Jag Alskar Dig
Lithuanian:  As Tave Meliu

Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi, Kentucky, North Carolina, West Virginia, Virginia, Saskatchewan, Alberta,
Manitoba, Oregon, Upper Michigan:     Nice Tits, Get in the Truck.



I can't speak for the rest but I can say on good authority that not all[/i Virginians are like this ;)
He's on his best behaviour at the moment  :D ;)
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

OldGit

Yes, Claire, just you wait ...  ;D

BTW poor old Oscar Pistorius has no chance of a Not Guilty verdict ....... he hasn't got a leg to stand on.  (Falls about in senile cackle, swallows false teesh.)

Tank

Quote from: OldGit on February 17, 2013, 04:16:02 PM
Yes, Claire, just you wait ...  ;D

BTW poor old Oscar Pistorius has no chance of a Not Guilty verdict ....... he hasn't got a leg to stand on.  (Falls about in senile cackle, swallows false teesh.)

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Asmodean

Wouldn't work. Could simply lift the phone above the collar.
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.