Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

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Amicale



"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Icarus


jumbojak

Quote from: Icarus on January 22, 2013, 11:21:47 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s&NR=1 What the hell I thought it was a pretty good good joke.

That was funny, but I want to play paint-ball in the Vatican, not laser tag. ;D

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Guardian85

Quote from: jumbojak on January 22, 2013, 11:42:47 PM
Quote from: Icarus on January 22, 2013, 11:21:47 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s&NR=1 What the hell I thought it was a pretty good good joke.

That was funny, but I want to play paint-ball in the Vatican, not laser tag. ;D
No.... The artwork may be religious in origin, but it is still exquisite. Let's not destroy it with random dots of paint.


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

jumbojak

Quote from: Guardian85 on January 23, 2013, 06:11:12 PM
Quote from: jumbojak on January 22, 2013, 11:42:47 PM
Quote from: Icarus on January 22, 2013, 11:21:47 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s&NR=1 What the hell I thought it was a pretty good good joke.

That was funny, but I want to play paint-ball in the Vatican, not laser tag. ;D
No.... The artwork may be religious in origin, but it is still exquisite. Let's not destroy it with random dots of paint.

We can hang tarps then. Would that satisfy you?

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Guardian85



"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Crow

Quote from: Guardian85 on January 23, 2013, 06:11:12 PM
Quote from: jumbojak on January 22, 2013, 11:42:47 PM
Quote from: Icarus on January 22, 2013, 11:21:47 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s&NR=1 What the hell I thought it was a pretty good good joke.

That was funny, but I want to play paint-ball in the Vatican, not laser tag. ;D
No.... The artwork may be religious in origin, but it is still exquisite. Let's not destroy it with random dots of paint.

I say let it interact with culture even if that is destructive in nature, the interaction between people and art is just as important as the art itself if not more.
Retired member.

jumbojak

Quote from: Crow on January 24, 2013, 06:47:48 PM
Quote from: Guardian85 on January 23, 2013, 06:11:12 PM
Quote from: jumbojak on January 22, 2013, 11:42:47 PM
Quote from: Icarus on January 22, 2013, 11:21:47 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s&NR=1 What the hell I thought it was a pretty good good joke.

That was funny, but I want to play paint-ball in the Vatican, not laser tag. ;D
No.... The artwork may be religious in origin, but it is still exquisite. Let's not destroy it with random dots of paint.

I say let it interact with culture even if that is destructive in nature, the interaction between people and art is just as important as the art itself if not more.

I like the way you think Crow.

"Amazing what chimney sweeping can teach us, no? Keep your fire hot and
your flue clean."  - Ecurb Noselrub

"I'd be incensed by your impudence were I not so impressed by your memory." - Siz

Guardian85



"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Amicale

Quote from: Tank on January 25, 2013, 04:00:35 AM


:D If I were getting into witchcraft, this is totally how I'd go about starting! I love that kitty.  ;D

Here are the cat's slightly evil companions:



"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

OldGit

A group of mates all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Final it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Birmingham because the waitresses had big tits & wore mini skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they  should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Birmingham because the food and service was good and the beer was excellent.

Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Birmingham   because they could dine in peace and quiet and it was good value for money.

Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Birmingham because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a lift for the disabled.

Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Birmingham because they had never been there before but someone had told them that the waitresses had big tits!

Tank

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Tank

This was posted on facebook by a friend of mine who was an X-ray tech  ;D

If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

OldGit

A man is seeking to join the Glasgow Police force.
The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications  all look good, but there is an attitude  suiitability test that you must take before you can be accepted
Sliding a pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants,  six drug dealers,  six Muslim extremists and a rabbit"
The man being interviewed asks, "Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"