News:

The default theme for this site has been updated. For further information, please take a look at the announcement regarding HAF changing its default theme.

Main Menu

Jokes Thread (Was named Anyone know any good jokes ? I'll start :D )

Started by no_god_know_peace, November 10, 2011, 12:46:34 AM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages 1 ... 53 54 55 56 57 ... 330
User actions

OldGit

#810
January 10, 2013, 11:12:41 AM
An elderly couple, Lucy & John, were in church.

About halfway through the service, Lucy took a pen and paper out of her purse, wrote a note and handed it to John .

The note said:" I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

John scribbled back, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

OldGit

#811
January 10, 2013, 05:49:30 PM

Tank

#812
January 10, 2013, 10:42:06 PM
^^^  :D
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Amicale

#813
January 11, 2013, 12:38:15 AM
Quote from: OldGit on January 10, 2013, 05:49:30 PM


:D Good one.

If it were true, I'd expect lightning to regularly hit Fred Phelps, Pat Robertson, etc etc.


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Guardian85

#814
January 11, 2013, 01:11:19 AM
Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent Mary Louise to the hardware store. At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Joe Bob to finish waiting on a customer. When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked how much for the teapot? Joe Bob replied "That's silver and it costs $100!"

"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary Louise exclaimed. She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, and Jo Bob went to the backroom to find a hinge. From the backroom Joe Bob yelled "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?' To which Mary Louise replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."


"If scientist means 'not the dumbest motherfucker in the room,' I guess I'm a scientist, then."
-Unknown Smartass-

OldGit

#815
January 11, 2013, 10:56:09 AM
^ Excellent!

Tank

#816
January 11, 2013, 02:41:49 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Buddy

#817
January 11, 2013, 02:49:51 PM
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

Davin

#818
January 11, 2013, 03:28:47 PM
Always question all authorities because the authority you don't question is the most dangerous... except me, never question me.

Tank

#819
January 14, 2013, 01:16:28 PM
If religions were TV channels atheism is turning the TV off.
"Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." ― Richard P. Feynman
'It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.' - Terry Pratchett
Remember, your inability to grasp science is not a valid argument against it.

Buddy

#820
January 14, 2013, 03:36:41 PM
Strange but not a stranger<br /><br />I love my car more than I love most people.

joeactor

#821
January 14, 2013, 04:13:02 PM
+20 to Tank and BudHorse!

(I LOLed!)

Amicale

#822
January 14, 2013, 05:29:54 PM


"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb we are bound to others. By every crime and act of kindness we birth our future." - Cloud Atlas

"To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is to never die." -Carl Sagan

Asmodean

#823
January 14, 2013, 05:31:21 PM
Bodybuilding. Meinkraft is about bodybuilding.  >:(
Quote from: Ecurb Noselrub on July 25, 2013, 08:18:52 PM
In Asmo's grey lump,
wrath and dark clouds gather force.
Luxembourg trembles.

Ihateyoumike

#824
January 14, 2013, 06:59:10 PM
Prayers that need no answer now, cause I'm tired of who I am
You were my greatest mistake, I fell in love with your sin
Your littlest sin.
Print
Go Up Pages 1 ... 53 54 55 56 57 ... 330
User actions